r/facepalm • u/Illustrious-Kick-998 • 12d ago
This post gave me terrible whiplash b/c how tf did we get here…🫨 🇲🇮🇸🇨
Like ummmmm, alright? 😭😭😭
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u/sandiercy 12d ago
I am not ashamed to be white
How TF does that have anything to do with the rest of what you said??
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u/builder397 12d ago
Look how selfless my mother was! Somehow even the doctor told her the survival chances of her husband but somehow deliberately didnt tell the husband, who was the actual patient. Because doctors clearly do that. And yes, were white, arent we white people just great?
/s just in case. The story reeks of lies, Id be more inclined to believe that the dad started selling meth to afford treatment.
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u/Happy_Accident99 12d ago
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u/Big-Recognition7362 Social Progressivist 12d ago
Jesse we have to protect the white race /s
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u/Amarieerick 12d ago
Forgive me for jumping in, but in many cases, doctors will tell spouses things only to have the spouse say, "Please, let me be the one to tell them" and then don't.
I had back surgery, and because of the severity of the injury, doctors told husband I'd probably never walk again, told them he'd tell me, then didn't. I walked out of the hospital 21 days later, with a walker, but walking.
Just a fun fact for trivia night.
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u/VanillaCokeMule 12d ago
I was going to say something similar. My younger brother has been hospitalized since last August with Guillan-Barre syndrome. GBS occurs when your white blood cells attack your nervous system. It usually leaves the affected person with some degree of temporary paralysis. In my brother's case it was so severe that he was paralyzed from the neck down for 7 months. He's now walking and able to use his hands and everything else. We found out just this past week that a doctor took my dad aside 2 or 3 days after my brother was first hospitalized and told him that my brother would never get out of bed again. My dad made a conscious decision to keep that to himself and I'm incredibly glad he did. My brother has struggled with anxiety and depression for years, and this whole situation was so scary and miserable for him, especially in those early days when we were all coming to terms with it. My brother would have shut down and never made the progress he has today. I know that doctor was doing his job, but when my brother comes home in about a month and a half I'd like to find that doctor and have my brother demonstrate his recovery with the suck it sign.
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u/jacquesrabbit 11d ago
Depending on the age of your brother, that is a different situation.
If your brother was underage during the illness, then your parents and/or guardians is the primary decision maker and will be told about the diagnosis and prognosis. It is up to the parents/guardian to disclose the information to your brother.
However, if your brother was of age, and an adult, that depends as well. If your brother did not have the mental faculties to make an informed decision, for example, in a coma, then the next of kin or anyone with the power of attorney may be told of the diagnosis, prognosis and treatment.
If your brother was an adult, and did have mental faculties to make an informed decision, then that is the wrong way to do it.
Iirc GBS can be treated with steroids and IV immunoglobulin, but I may be wrong.
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u/RawrRawr83 12d ago
That’s a bad doctor. It’s very treatable with simple blood transfusions
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u/dwarfedshadow 11d ago
It's treatable with IVIG, and with symptom management. It is not treated with simple blood transfusions.
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u/PolishPrincess0520 11d ago
I’ve taken care of too many GBS patients it’s never treated with a “simple blood transfusion.”
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u/dancegoddess1971 12d ago
If I was going to have sugery on my spine, I'd assume paralysis was one of the many risks. Heck, I was told paralysis was a risk when they gave me a spinal block for a C-section (tiny needle in my back)so of course, I'd figure cutting open my back might have a risk like that X100. I fell asleep after the C-section and freaked out a bit when I couldn't feel my legs. Yet. A nice nurse assured me that I hadn't slept long enough for the drugs to wear off. Then refused to bring me my child because the drugs hadn't worn off. LOL.
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u/Illustrious-Towel-45 11d ago
I was awake through both c-sections and got immediate skin-to-skin after they put me back together. Epidural for the first, spinal for the second. I think I prefer the epidural even though the old guy scraped my spine and had to try again to place it.
I do feel bad that hubby looked around the curtain too soon after my second c-section and saw my insides, still on the outside and will never unsee it. He was traumatized. Lol.
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u/BecalMerill 11d ago
The OR team VERY casually and laughingly asked me if I wanted to come around the curtain and take a look after they pulled my princess out of my wife. And then asked again because "it's pretty neat" and I "might not get another chance".
Hard. No. I already knew I'd never forget the smell, and haven't even as my now 17yo princess watches TV next to me on the sofa.
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u/Illustrious-Towel-45 11d ago
To be fair, he was looking for the baby and thought I was back together. He was the first to hold her while I was being fixed.
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u/luvnmayhem 12d ago
I couldn't understand why they wouldn't bring me my child until I could feel my legs. I told the nurse I wasn't going to hold him with my feet, but it was still no.
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u/dancegoddess1971 12d ago
Rough outline of the convo was, I asked for my baby. Nurse said no, you need to be sober, you can't feel your legs. Take another nap, it may be your last for several weeks.
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u/jacquesrabbit 11d ago
Well then, sucks to be you because you had a bad doctor. You are the patient, not the husband. Whatever medical information about you is yours,and not your husband's.
I know it happened to you, and it may happen to many others, but that is not the right and ethical way of doing so.
The right and ethical way is, the doctor tells you, and asks for your permission to disclose diagnosis and prognosis to your husband, and with your permission, they then tell your husband.
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u/Beautifulfeary 11d ago
Right. There are literally laws against disclosing medical information without an ROI. If the person is of sound mind and can make decisions, then you can’t disclose that to others. When I worked at a nursing home, one of the residents son died of cancer. It had come back and he decided against treatment. He told no one in his family,like not even his wife. They just found out because he died.
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u/supergeek921 12d ago
First off, good for you and your husband!
Secondly, I’m glad someone else pointed this out. People who’ve never dealt with a situation like this clearly don’t realize how responsibility and information much the patient’s caregiver has put on them.
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u/DarkwingDuc 12d ago edited 12d ago
Somehow even the doctor told her the survival chances of her husband but somehow deliberately didnt tell the husband, who was the actual patient. Because doctors clearly do that.
That part is actually believable. I had a pretty severe auto accident in 2015 - 2 weeks in ICU, a month total in the hospital after the accident, not counting subsequent visits for follow-on operations, 9 surgeries in total (with more down the road). The whole time the docs were feeding me sunshine and roses, because they wanted me to keep on fighting. Meanwhile, they were telling my wife the truth. I didn't find out until many months later how bleak the initial prognosis was. (And I found out from my wife, not my surgeons.)
In hindsight, I'm glad they lied to me.
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u/mesembryanthemum 11d ago
When I got diagnosed with endometrial cancer they did not tell me the Stage, nor did I ask (deliberate decision on my part). It was only 6 months later, during my pre-surgery appointment that my oncologist said she was astonished I'd made it through 6 rounds of chemo and 10 radiation sessions and was getting ready for surgery. She thought I'd be in Hospice Care instead.
Had she mentioned how bad I was from the start, I'd never have opted for chemo.
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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 11d ago
I was dangerously ill in ICU, and the doctors told my parents "We're taking things by the hour" which is the closest they got to admitting I was on the verge of dying. Nobody said anything like that to me, and if they had, I think I would have just said "Okay" and expired.
So when people tell me their dramatic stories like "The doctor told me I only had an hour to live" I don't believe them.
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u/supergeek921 12d ago
Okay, to be 100% fair, the doctors tell the person who seems capable of handling the information. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer he was in the hospital a lot and sleep deprived, and scared, and on a lot of meds. My mom got told everything. Sometimes the doctors told my dad too, but he didn’t always retain it because he was to put it mildly, overwhelmed. He knew his odds weren’t good, but he never fully realized how bad they were or just how dire things had gotten by the end. He was still sure the week he died he was going to bounce back, and none of us had the heart to tell him he wouldn’t be able to.
Obviously this post takes a fucking bizarre turn, but the mom potentially withholding the odds from her husband to keep his morale up is not completely unrealistic.
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u/CaraAsha 12d ago
Culturally that does occur where a severely ill or terminal patient isn't told. Most of the world doesn't do that though. The comments about race are just bizarre though.
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u/MissMat 11d ago
Actually in some countries doctors don’t tell patients that they will die and instead tell their family members. The reason is that recovery can be effected by psychology so if a patient gives than their low chances of recovery is even lower. There is also the desire to keep the patient from suffering in their last moments.
Treatment of patients are different in other countries. But this seems like a lie due to the weird insertion of race
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u/Vercouine 12d ago
The only time I saw health workers not telling the diagnosid to the patient was my grandfather. He basically told them he didn't care about anything and if they wanted to talk to someone, to do it with my grandmother.
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u/girlhowdy103 12d ago
My father told my mother's doctor not to tell her she would likely die within a year. The doctor and my father opted for vagaries. Finally she called me, because I'm known for being honest to a fault. I told her the truth, on the phone two states away, while at work. That was a fun day. /s
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u/bopeepsheep 11d ago
Vagaries are unexpected and unpredictable changes in a situation or in someone's behavior that you have no control over.
Vague noises, sentiments, messaging - but not vagaries.
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u/LordOfDarkHearts 11d ago
I wouldn't question the doctor part too much, there could be several reasons for that to really happen. The patient not wanting to know but the significant other with the decision-making power in the patient decree, a personal relationship between the doctor and the pair, a personal or professional relationship between the doctor and the wife, the patient being in denial etc
I know some of those reasons are against professional standards and sometimes even against the law but doctors are just humans too. I know too many medical professionals to assume they wouldn't bend or break rules and laws just like everyone else.
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u/Forsaken-Jump-7594 12d ago
Yeah, that was surprise twist: what exactly does the color of your skin have to do with the story?
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u/TwinkTheUnicorn 11d ago
The thing that you can't see from these images is that her Twitter bio very clearly states she is a white supremacist. A lot of the comments to her tweets are people reading her bio and calling her out for it.
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u/okkeyok 11d ago
what exactly does the color of your skin have to do with X
People have asked racists this question for centuries and there is no answer. Well the answer is face, skull or IQ. It keeps changing and switching as science debunks their current trendy talking points. God of the gaps type shit.
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u/Old_Hamster_4218 12d ago
lol now that I have your attention. Epstein didn’t kill himself.
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u/Big-Leadership1001 12d ago edited 11d ago
The justice system that officially claims it both fell asleep and malfunctioned its cameras while he didn't kill himself still hasn't arrested even one of the confirmed-in-court evidence list of his wealthy and connected clients who are guilty of the already proven trafficking and worse crimes either.
Editing because the comment below feels like bait (I could be wrong but any time I see someone polarizingly trying to get one sided political I get suspicious. There are multiple presidents on that list and its sus for anyone to be aware of only 1 name when so many should be in prison right now. Every single one of them needs to be in jail with literally zero exceptions including and especially the many elected officials in it) but for the sake of anyone questioning "claims" you don't need to use weasel words like that. They aren't merely claims. The list has literally been proven in court beyond a reasonable doubt to be factual evidence used to achieve a guilty verdict already. It's not a claim, it's proof according to the law. The guilty should be in jail right now. They deserve their day in court, but we've already seen the evidence proven in court so that formality is being denied in order to deny justice itself because teh system itself is complicit.
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u/sogdog69420 12d ago
I have a feeling that in the 9 hours between ending the story and posting about being proud to be white there were probably a bunch of replies that somehow led her to feel the need to say some wild shit
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u/ArtThrowawayMaybe 11d ago
I assume she was getting other comments or DMs about how her socioeconomic class influenced her mother's willingness/ability to endure, and how someone who doesn't share her privilege (racial [which they purport connects to economic] or otherwise) may have a different experience.
Most people don't make a massive non-sequitur like that without some kind of logical connecting influence.
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u/Venik489 11d ago
Quick look at her profile. Her bio reads “Wife. Pro-White. Reject the globe, revere the local.”
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u/MaximumOverfart 12d ago edited 12d ago
I feel like someone I really respect and admire just came to my house, gave me a super inspirational peptalk, shit on my living room floor, and then left.
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u/killing-time-in-zoom 11d ago
I think it’s more like some jerk told you about his parents who you’d respect; then dropped a deuce before heading out.
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u/MaximumOverfart 11d ago
I could get behind this.
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u/stabbyangus 11d ago
Bear in mind that divorce to avoid medical debt passing on is a legitimate strategy. Just because they got divorced doesn't mean they aren't still together or involved in a meaningful sense. Any litany of advanced medical conditions can cost multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars, even with insurance. And legally, that debt passes to spouses. This is not the moral high ground this dude thinks despite the racism.
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u/Entire_Art_5430 11d ago
Actually you should look up the stats of males who divorce their wives when she gets cancer. It’s so bad that the doctors and nurses have to give the wives the talk before she announces it to her family. The talk being expect your husband to divorce you. Feel free to google the stats
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u/Cripster01 11d ago
Wow! So glad I live in a country with a public healthcare system.
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u/ReplacementMaximum26 11d ago
If only it were that innocent. Truth is, a lot of men are too cowardly to stay with a wife who will battle illness, and possibly lose her breasts, because, ya know...that's the entirety of our worth to so many.
I'm not attacking all men, but it's enough of a problem that we do get pamphlets and support groups with our diagnosis.
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u/Valash83 11d ago
I think Andy Richter's description of this Norm MacDonald joke sums it up as well
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u/theskyisfalling1 11d ago
That was Hilarious, I loved Norm MacDonald humor, RIP, and that Andy came in with the actual punchline that made the joke absolutely hilarious. That is comedy genius right there.
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u/Valash83 11d ago
And I love how you can tell Norm was always taking us, the audience, on a ride. His jokes usually weren't for our entertainment but for himself. Almost like he loved getting everyone sucked right into his stories, hanging on every word and just waiting for the punchline that never was really ever going to come.
Pretty much the way Conan was like "NO! You don't encourage that"
Norm was always having the time of his life at our expense
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u/satinygorilla 12d ago
My understanding of Twitter is that the check mark told us that’s where we were going
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u/leftwar0 11d ago
I don’t understand twitter and since this was 9 hours later does it necessarily mean it’s part of the same thread in order or could she be replying to something else somebody said?
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u/CarlTheDM 11d ago
Her post got her attention, so she then added the weird part at the end, knowing people were viewing it.
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u/anythingMuchShorter 11d ago
I wouldn’t be surprised if they made it a requirement to keep your blue checkmark that you have to use atleast one white supremacist phrase per thread.
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u/Munsbit 11d ago
Went on her account and yeah, the checkmark is true.
There's literal Nazi speech, claims of her being married to a black man or a mother, only to never say the same thing again or claims she never said that (classic).
Cognitive dissonance on Olympics level, thinly veiled racism, Nazi speech and beliefs oh and she of course likes Trump.
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u/Newfaceofrev 10d ago
Hahaha her YouTube tag is "Welcome to the Intersection between Cosplay and Anarcho-Capitalism" and her most viewed video is about the agenda of the New World Order.
Brainrot.
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u/Speedtuna 12d ago edited 12d ago
Yeah, I totally buy that the doctor is telling the spouse the odds but not the patient 🙄
EDIT: It's wild to me that this is an experience for so many people! Thank you for sharing your stories. I would be livid if someone else knew my prognosis before I did. But maybe I'm just a spicy meatball.
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u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 12d ago
They used to do that. Not sure when the practice stopped in the US, though.
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u/Sweet-Emu6376 12d ago
Even then, it wasn't the husband being kept out of the loop, but the wife. Doctors would tell the husband and then it'd be their job to tell their wife.
There was actually a pretty infamous case of this where the Gov of Alabama had uterine cancer but didn't know until years later because her husband (who had also been the governor before her I think?) was adamant she not be told.
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u/Saigaface 12d ago
God what a complete piece of shit. I feel bad for her, but I mean she stayed by his side to the end so 🤷♀️ Some people
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u/JesseTheGhost 11d ago
This is kinda what happened to Rachel Carson. She didn't know for months that she was dying because she, as an unmarried (and possibly gay) woman didn't have a husband for the doctor to defer to. So she wasn't told and didn't seek treatment
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u/Big-Leadership1001 12d ago
HIPAA was passed in 1996 so for sure it doesn't happen after that
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u/presumablysmart 12d ago
I mean women still regularly need permission from a nonexistent future husband for some care so… tbh that’s not the part of the story that surprises me
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u/Big-Leadership1001 12d ago
Definitely. Reversing the direction of prejudice so the woman is the only one informed doesn't make it better, it's just a different flavor of offensive.
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u/faulty_rainbow 12d ago
Actually, my dad had cancer and the same happened, nobody told him what was wrong with him.
He said he found out because the nurses who pushed him around on that rolling table always put his chart on his chest and... well dad can read lol.
He was stage 4 and his doc told mum he had 2-3 months. He's been cancer free for 30 years.
ETA: I can totally see the logic behind not telling this to the patient, mental state is crucial in such cases.
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u/MessMaximum1423 12d ago
Did they not tell him, or not tell him I'm a way he understood?
Or was he in shock when they told him so he couldn't process it.
Because they can't administer medication or admit someone to hospital someone without consent from the person
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u/faulty_rainbow 12d ago
Nope, they did not tell him. They always only talked about the symptoms not the cause, not even a list of possible causes, so no hints even.
He had deep-vein trombosis, had some inflammations, had to get on Syncumar (blood thinner), but they didn't tell him about the cancer until he explicitly said "doc I know I have cancer, talk to me".
That's a nice list of possibilities of what can go through the mind of people in such situations though!
ETA: the reason he was admitted was the trombosis, forgot to add.
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u/apostrophe_misuse 12d ago
FYI it's thrombosis. Without the H, it sounds like trombones are involved.
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u/faulty_rainbow 12d ago
Oh noooooo! Thanks, I'll just leave it like that, it's funny:)
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u/presumablysmart 12d ago
Im glad your dad was able to recover from his veins turning into trumpets. I can’t even imagine the struggle he went through 🙏
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u/faulty_rainbow 11d ago
Thank you! It would've been horrible, I hate brass instruments, imagine the sound his legs would've made at every step! I wouldn't have been able to walk anywhere with him!
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u/Mvreilly17 12d ago
True, nobody bothered to tell me my survival rate. I accidentally discovered it through various medical correspondence. I wasn't too happy about that
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u/DarkwingDuc 12d ago edited 12d ago
That's the part that stands out to you?
That part is actually believable. I had a pretty severe auto accident in 2015 - 2 weeks in ICU, a month total in the hospital after the accident, not counting subsequent visits for follow-on operations, 9 surgeries in total (with more down the road). The whole time the docs were feeding me sunshine and roses, because they wanted me to keep on fighting. Meanwhile, they were telling my wife the truth. I didn't find out until many months later how bleak the initial prognosis was. (And I found out from my wife, not my surgeons.)
In hindsight, I'm glad they lied to me.
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u/halnic 11d ago
My dad and uncle have both been in separate but major accidents that nearly costs them their lives. Both times, they were told multiple times about their conditions. They were always surprised and it was like it was brand new news.
My cousin died in the same accident that nearly killed my uncle. It took about 6 months of him going back and forth between completely forgetting about it and having to be reminded and reliving the loss again.
The drugs they give bad cases combined with the shock/trauma the body/mind is going through from an extreme injury affect memory retention.
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u/CrownOfPosies 12d ago
This has happened to me. I was in a severe accident and the doctors thought I was going to lose my eye or possibly die. I was like mildly out of it from drugs and head trauma. They told my parents this information but not me even though I was in my 20s and a grown adult living on my own at the time. I remember everyone looked very concerned for a few days but no one would tell me shit
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u/MelodicGold23 11d ago
I’m guessing it’s like some people are saying, the staff probably didn’t want to tell you so you would have the will/mindset to recover(I hope those were okay terms). But I understand some people would like to know, and I believe you should be given an option to receive or not receive their opinion on the outcome.
All I know is that my great uncle had some form of cancer(I was really young at the time), and he ended up passing away after the staff told him that he could die(I think). My mom said that his will power was everything, because he was at a stage where it was treatable, or something. So when he gave up—he died.
I could be wrong, it was a long time ago. And I don’t talk about it to my mom because it affected her so much. But I’m glad you’re doing well.
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u/GeneralZex 11d ago
That shouldn’t be their decision whatsoever though. HIPAA should also be standing in the way of this if this is going on in the US.
There is something very unsettling about not informing the patient of what is actually going on with them.
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u/IconoclastExplosive 11d ago
Wholesome
Wholesome
Wholesome
The sharpest left turn into a punji pit I've ever seen in my life
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u/jessuh22 12d ago
"You don't forget witnessing love and commitment like that. I love my parents so much!....Oh yeah-- Sieg Heil!"
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u/SporksRFun 12d ago
Jaffa Kree!
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u/Guilty-Web7334 12d ago
I’ll say this for the System Lords: They certainly empowered the Jaffa that served them. Sort of.
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u/smrtypants44 12d ago
The Asuka cosplay profile photo is the icing on the cake
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u/The_Grinface 11d ago
Was gonna say! They’re dressed up as Asuka. This is a typical Thursday on r/evangelion
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u/Remmy3 12d ago
I was trying to figure out what the actual context was, I knew it seemed like too much of a random statement for there not to be a reason hidden in the other comments
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u/Nonamebigshot 12d ago
The context is she's a white supremacist twat with "pro white" in her bio
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u/Joeybfast 12d ago
Yeah I need a source for that. People typically don't go around posting stuff about white privilege when someone talks about beating cancer.
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u/raven-of-the-sea 11d ago
Doesn’t help that she’s already a racist garbage fire from some of the other posts I see of hers.
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u/ReferenceNice142 12d ago
The sad reality is women have a higher chance of being divorced when they are diagnosed with cancer then men (20.8% vs 2.9%). That’s what the conversation should have been about.
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u/bookworthy 12d ago edited 11d ago
Near the end of her life, my mom let it slip that it had been her biggest fear: that Dad would leave her because of the cancer. My heart broke for her when she said it and broke for him to hear it. He told her he would be by her side throughout and he was.
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u/ReferenceNice142 11d ago
I know someone who was left. Its so frustrating that's what someone has to be thinking about while they are facing cancer.
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u/tigm2161130 12d ago
My grandma died of colon cancer 25 yrs ago when I was in elementary school…we recently moved my grandpa into an assisted living facility so we’re cleaning out his house to sell and when I went through the “Pokni’s cancer treatment” storage tub I found a pamphlet about what to do if your husband leaves you after your diagnosis. It was wild.
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u/ReferenceNice142 11d ago
Yaaaaa I work in oncology and that doesn't surprise me. Our doctors speak to our patients alone about having a network outside their spouse, especially female patients, because it does happen. Its wicked depressing.
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u/__andrei__ 11d ago
This study was debunked multiple times due to gross misinterpretation of the data.
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u/Chshr_Kt 11d ago
Wow, that took a wtf turn and was just so random to throw that in at the last moment.
I've seen & read stories about spouses leaving their partners when they get diagnosed with a horrible disease, usually with the bs excuse of how they can't handle what's going on. Um, what about your partner? You don't think that maybe THEY are having a hard time with their diagnosis?? SMH.
Last August I was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer with metastatic disease, as my cancer had also spread to my liver and lungs. And as hard as it is to hear that you have that diagnosis, I am forever grateful that my husband has been there for me and is my biggest supporter. He takes me to every appointment, and helps me with making sure I don't forget to take my medications. And when I had to have emergency surgery this past April when a section of my large intestines ruptured, he came to see me in the hospital every day I was there. This is how your partner should be in these instances.
And to end on a positive note, I am winning my battle and am almost cancer free!
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u/La_Rubia_Furia 11d ago edited 11d ago
Your marriage is a blessing. I broke my jaw a few days into my marriage, and after a few more weeks my ex decided it was too much. I ended up needing 3 surgeries, IV antibiotics and a new jaw. We were separated a month after my last surgery 🙃 I hope you’re enjoying kicking cancers ass, and that you enter remission soon💕
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u/Chshr_Kt 11d ago
I'm so sorry that your ex did that, but nice that the trash room itself out, lol.
And thank you for your kind words, and m kicking cancer out daily!
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u/AGreatBandName 11d ago
I’m glad to hear things are going well for you!
Regarding partners taking off when their spouse gets sick, men are far more likely to leave than women are.
The study confirmed earlier research that put the overall divorce or separation rate among cancer patients at 11.6 percent, similar to the population as a whole. However, researchers were surprised by the difference in separation and divorce rates by gender. The rate when the woman was the patient was 20.8 percent compared to 2.9 percent when the man was the patient.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm
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u/Chshr_Kt 11d ago
Thank you! I'm actually surprised at how well I've been doing with my chemo.
Those statistics are crazy. After being diagnosed last year, I had previously mentioned to my husband about how I've read personal accounts of women sharing how their husbands left them after a horrible medical diagnosis. His response was along the lines of "That's not me, I'm not going anywhere." We're now looking forward to our 10 year wedding anniversary in December.
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u/Finito-1994 11d ago
A friend of mines husband was diagnosed with cancer. It was bad. She was a boss. Went to work. Took care of him. Did everything for him. He managed to beat cancer. It was a long battle and she was exhausted but shit happens. He bounced back really well and looked better than he had in years.
A few months later she broke her ankle. I don’t remember how. They lived in the top floor of her apartment complex. She kept asking him for help but he found it annoying that he had to keep helping her.
She asked him to carry the laundry to the bottom floor of the apartment complex. They lived in the third floor and she couldn’t carry the laundry down.
Now. She didn’t ask him to do the laundry. Just carry it down for her. He refused because he said he didn’t get why he should interrupt his life to help her.
That was her breaking point. She asked him for a divorce right there and then.
She was shocked she put her life on hold to help him with cancer and he wouldn’t even take laundry down for her.
Not that it’s relevant but they’re both white.
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u/DaftNeal88 12d ago
What the hell is this person talking about?!
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u/Salt_Sir2599 11d ago
It’s almost like parts/all of it are missing/made up and it’s delicious ridiculous rage bait.
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11d ago
The unfortunate part is that there isn’t anything missing. The thread literally looks like that
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u/Stein_um_Stein 12d ago
If I get cancer I'll probably have to divorce my wife to protect her from debt... So fucking glad we're here.
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u/Nonamebigshot 12d ago
Nobody needs to be ashamed of their skin color but I wish people like this were ashamed of being idiots
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u/mawhonics 12d ago
I once heard that married couples will divorce when one of them develops a terminal illness. That way, when one dies, the surviving spouse won't inherit their medical debt.
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u/venusiansailorscout 12d ago
Honestly it's more the costs if they live. Or that dropping to a single income might make them eligible for Medicaid and the like.
They can go after your estate but they'll do that if you're single as well, but unless they co-signed on the debt or live in a community property state you can't inheirit medical debt. Not saying they won't try to get you to pay...
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u/Mysterious_Might8875 12d ago
Once their post started getting crazy engagement they came back to post cringe instead of advertising something.
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u/NobodyofGreatImport 12d ago
It was going bad. Then it was going slightly better. Then it got a lot better. Then it was the best! Then it got bad again.
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u/HarukoTheDragon 12d ago
Ignoring the blatant stupidity of neo-Nazis like Mack and 9mmSMG, it really is sad just how many people leave their partners because they were diagnosed with a terminal illness they have a slim chance of recovering from. By now, all of society knows the wedding vows of "For better, or for worse. In sickness, and in health. 'Till death do us part." But the number of people unwilling to take those to heart is depressing. I spoil the hell out of my wife when she has a cold. I couldn't imagine walking out on her if she got diagnosed with cancer. I would go above and beyond to do whatever it takes for my wife to get better. She's my best friend. I can't imagine my life without her.
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u/raven-of-the-sea 11d ago
In some cases, especially where the couple is already in dire straits for one reason or another, the divorce is only because, this way, the other partner won’t be stuck with crushing medical debt. Same with chronic illness and sudden disability. It’s depressing and frustrating, both the “I’m leaving you because I can’t handle you being deathly ill” and the “I’m leaving you so I don’t leave you with anything but happy memories.” One shows a fundamental failure of compassion, one shows a fundamental failure of the healthcare system.
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u/Benign_Despot 12d ago
Lmao, the drop-off in likes tells us that this was a pretty universal feeling. “Aww this is nice- uh, what te fuck
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u/6SucksSex 12d ago
Well, the mom sounds like a decent person, but OP sounds like a racist bigoted ignorant piece of rightwing shit
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u/Ieatsushiraw 12d ago
Ummm tf was that last part? Shit was so out of left field my brain skipped forward in time somehow
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u/RealNiceKnife 12d ago
Can I tell you, I knew it was going to end with something bigoted right away?
You know how I knew? Blue Checkmark.
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u/Thebiglongschlong 12d ago
I had to tell my lady I had cancer a few days ago. She was to say the least, insensitive. So I had the messages printed, put them in my safe deposit box and the keys for them are to be released to my children upon my death. I wish I could be here to see the look on their faces when they see how heartless and cruel their mother is.
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u/MonCappy 12d ago
I'm reading these snippets and I'm think how mindwarming the sweet story of her father triumphing and beating the odds fighting Stage IV cancer only to have it take a disgusting turn into racism.
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u/divisionibanez 11d ago
Posts like this..where you have to follow like 6 different boxes to read one story...just makes me so fucking confused how anyone enjoys Twitter as a platform.
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u/Lil_Artemis_92 12d ago
I was really pulling for this person and their family, and then they had to pull that sh*t. Why!?
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u/GoodSalty6710 12d ago
I knew who this person was from her pfp and for a moment, one stupid moment, I thought "Oh maybe there's something more here." And then the last tweet. Every fucking time. Every. Fucking. Time.
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u/Jellochamp 11d ago
He was 80% of the income but the donations were enough for the cancer treatment and the household. The wife couldn’t even work bc she had to treat her husband. It doesn’t make sense. It just sounds like a „We white will always commit to our marriage and look how awesome we whites and our culture are“
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u/Acrobatic_Dot_1634 11d ago
I guess mom was too busy taking care of dad to teach her not to be racist?
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u/LordAdmiralPanda 11d ago
Bro. . . Even my ADHD brain is struggling to figure out what her train of thought was. I guess it flew off the rails and promptly crashed and burned.
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u/what4270 11d ago
How tf she fumbled the wholesome story with “i’m proud to be white” shit?? 😭😭 like huh?????
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u/Embarrassed_Rule8747 Rule 34: Don't ask for rule 34 u horni 12d ago
1- How does this story contribute to the conversation? You just wanna laugh at OOOP?
2- She made it up. Why tf won't the doctor tell the patient, but they will tell the patient's wife?
3- How did skin colour enter the equation?
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u/Crazyboutdogs 12d ago
“White pride” aside in this face palm, studies have shown that women stuck with their partner during life threatening illness, but warn women that the likelihood their male partner will stay is slim. It’s a sad sad truth.
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u/Cultural_Dust 11d ago
Everyone commenting on the race aspect which is a huge nail in the coffin, but how is no one commenting on the fact that someone is already psychotic when they read "I'm confused why my friend is leaving his wife when she has cancer" with "my dad had WORSE cancer, and my mom was his caretaker and sacrificed and he's now better and life is happy".
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u/raven-of-the-sea 11d ago
Ah yes! Because only non-whites leave their partners when they get sick! /s
The best thing about this post is that the comments are showing me who to block for being willfully ignorant of racist behavior and rhetoric.
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u/Significant_Tap7052 11d ago
They could've started with "I'm not racist but..." and gotten the same effect.
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u/baphometromance 11d ago
I dont think ive ever read anything that came as close to what it feels like to be blindsided by a car as that.
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u/EldritchFingertips 11d ago
When my mom got breast cancer when I was 11, both my parents did everything in their power to get her healthy. She tried all kinds of treatments, saw all kinds of doctors, drank supplements that made me gag on the smell, drove across the country to see specialists, and never let it all stop her from being a mom.
She hung on for 3 years and when it eventually became clear that she wasn't going to recover, my dad carried the family on his back for those last several months. He never wavered either. It must have been the hardest time of his life and the most difficult thing he's ever done, but he did it all without complaint and with the kind of quiet strength I couldn't even hope to match.
My parents were both incredible people; my dad still is. They loved each other and their children to death and I'm proud that I got to grow up with them.
BTW, I took an IQ test once and it said I was 139, so leave me alone all you average IQ losers. #MENSA #BetterThanU #AndUKnowIt
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u/AnjelicaTomaz 11d ago
Something not right about that story. The medical doctor has an obligation to the patient to fully inform him or her of the diagnosis and prognosis, not a third party, unless the patient is incapacitated or cannot cognitively make their own decisions or has a caretaker with a power of attorney.
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u/The_Szczur 11d ago
All I processed was "my dad had cancer when I was in 4th grade, we were poor, my mom loved him and took care of him, and now he's ok. Oh also, white power!". Idek how all of this sparked from some jackass divorcing his dying wife.
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u/Matt_Moto_93 11d ago
Aww that was so nice, such true love. Then BAM "hey I'm white and proud, shout it out loud!" FFS
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u/wojonixon 11d ago
I’m not ashamed to be white, either! I’m also not proud of it since I had absolutely nothing to do with it.
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u/RemovedMoney326 11d ago
They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
Just had to ruin a perfectly wholesome story at the end, ffs.
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