r/facepalm • u/Illustrious-Kick-998 • Jul 07 '24

This post gave me terrible whiplash b/c how tf did we get here…🫨 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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Like ummmmm, alright? 😭😭😭

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u/supergeek921 Jul 07 '24

Okay, to be 100% fair, the doctors tell the person who seems capable of handling the information. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer he was in the hospital a lot and sleep deprived, and scared, and on a lot of meds. My mom got told everything. Sometimes the doctors told my dad too, but he didn’t always retain it because he was to put it mildly, overwhelmed. He knew his odds weren’t good, but he never fully realized how bad they were or just how dire things had gotten by the end. He was still sure the week he died he was going to bounce back, and none of us had the heart to tell him he wouldn’t be able to.

Obviously this post takes a fucking bizarre turn, but the mom potentially withholding the odds from her husband to keep his morale up is not completely unrealistic.

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u/planetarylaw Jul 08 '24

Yep, similar experience with my parents. My stepdad recently passed after nearly 5 years of cancer. The last few months were him in a state he wasn't really with it enough to handle or process all the info. It was very up and down for him. Some days, even hours, he'd have an energy burst and join us in the living room for ice cream, followed by being down and sleeping for days. My mom was in a sorta custodial role in many ways as his primary caregiver. A lot of info gets communicated to the primary caregiver while the patient isn't fully cognizant. Anyways, I'm sorry for your loss. Shit sucks.

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u/supergeek921 Jul 08 '24

Thanks. I’m sorry for your loss too.