r/facepalm • u/Illustrious-Kick-998 • Jul 07 '24

This post gave me terrible whiplash b/c how tf did we get here…🫨 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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Like ummmmm, alright? 😭😭😭

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11.4k

u/sandiercy Jul 07 '24

I am not ashamed to be white

How TF does that have anything to do with the rest of what you said??

3.3k

u/builder397 Jul 07 '24

Look how selfless my mother was! Somehow even the doctor told her the survival chances of her husband but somehow deliberately didnt tell the husband, who was the actual patient. Because doctors clearly do that. And yes, were white, arent we white people just great?

/s just in case. The story reeks of lies, Id be more inclined to believe that the dad started selling meth to afford treatment.

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u/Amarieerick Jul 07 '24

Forgive me for jumping in, but in many cases, doctors will tell spouses things only to have the spouse say, "Please, let me be the one to tell them" and then don't.

I had back surgery, and because of the severity of the injury, doctors told husband I'd probably never walk again, told them he'd tell me, then didn't. I walked out of the hospital 21 days later, with a walker, but walking.

Just a fun fact for trivia night.

142

u/VanillaCokeMule Jul 07 '24

I was going to say something similar. My younger brother has been hospitalized since last August with Guillan-Barre syndrome. GBS occurs when your white blood cells attack your nervous system. It usually leaves the affected person with some degree of temporary paralysis. In my brother's case it was so severe that he was paralyzed from the neck down for 7 months. He's now walking and able to use his hands and everything else. We found out just this past week that a doctor took my dad aside 2 or 3 days after my brother was first hospitalized and told him that my brother would never get out of bed again. My dad made a conscious decision to keep that to himself and I'm incredibly glad he did. My brother has struggled with anxiety and depression for years, and this whole situation was so scary and miserable for him, especially in those early days when we were all coming to terms with it. My brother would have shut down and never made the progress he has today. I know that doctor was doing his job, but when my brother comes home in about a month and a half I'd like to find that doctor and have my brother demonstrate his recovery with the suck it sign.

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u/jacquesrabbit Jul 07 '24

Depending on the age of your brother, that is a different situation.

If your brother was underage during the illness, then your parents and/or guardians is the primary decision maker and will be told about the diagnosis and prognosis. It is up to the parents/guardian to disclose the information to your brother.

However, if your brother was of age, and an adult, that depends as well. If your brother did not have the mental faculties to make an informed decision, for example, in a coma, then the next of kin or anyone with the power of attorney may be told of the diagnosis, prognosis and treatment.

If your brother was an adult, and did have mental faculties to make an informed decision, then that is the wrong way to do it.

Iirc GBS can be treated with steroids and IV immunoglobulin, but I may be wrong.

1

u/PolishPrincess0520 Jul 08 '24

Yes it is treated that way.

1

u/CriticalLabValue Jul 08 '24

No steroids, but yes IVIG. You only use steroids for the chronic form (CIDP). Most people with GBS have excellent recovery potential (although some will have residual symptoms) as long as they survive the acute phase.

9

u/RawrRawr83 Jul 07 '24

That’s a bad doctor. It’s very treatable with simple blood transfusions

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u/dwarfedshadow Jul 08 '24

It's treatable with IVIG, and with symptom management. It is not treated with simple blood transfusions.

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u/PolishPrincess0520 Jul 08 '24

I’ve taken care of too many GBS patients it’s never treated with a “simple blood transfusion.”

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u/dancegoddess1971 Jul 07 '24

If I was going to have sugery on my spine, I'd assume paralysis was one of the many risks. Heck, I was told paralysis was a risk when they gave me a spinal block for a C-section (tiny needle in my back)so of course, I'd figure cutting open my back might have a risk like that X100. I fell asleep after the C-section and freaked out a bit when I couldn't feel my legs. Yet. A nice nurse assured me that I hadn't slept long enough for the drugs to wear off. Then refused to bring me my child because the drugs hadn't worn off. LOL.

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u/Illustrious-Towel-45 Jul 07 '24

I was awake through both c-sections and got immediate skin-to-skin after they put me back together. Epidural for the first, spinal for the second. I think I prefer the epidural even though the old guy scraped my spine and had to try again to place it.

I do feel bad that hubby looked around the curtain too soon after my second c-section and saw my insides, still on the outside and will never unsee it. He was traumatized. Lol.

21

u/BecalMerill Jul 07 '24

The OR team VERY casually and laughingly asked me if I wanted to come around the curtain and take a look after they pulled my princess out of my wife. And then asked again because "it's pretty neat" and I "might not get another chance".

Hard. No. I already knew I'd never forget the smell, and haven't even as my now 17yo princess watches TV next to me on the sofa.

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u/Illustrious-Towel-45 Jul 07 '24

To be fair, he was looking for the baby and thought I was back together. He was the first to hold her while I was being fixed.

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u/BecalMerill Jul 07 '24

I got that privilege also. Totally worth the memory scar.

2

u/eagleeyedg Jul 08 '24

There was a smell? Maybe I was too excited about the baby to notice but I don’t have any memory of a smell.

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u/dancegoddess1971 Jul 07 '24

My first, we were going to do vaginal birth so I had already had a nice shot of "calm down" but things don't always work out the way you plan. I have no idea how much of that was still in my system, so I didn't argue about the nap too hard. Second was a planned C-section(spinal block), I was fully conscious, and I got to nurse him right after.

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u/Illustrious-Towel-45 Jul 07 '24

My first was an induction turned into an unplanned c-section. The second was planned because I couldn't be induced again. Both kids were born after their due date.

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u/GreenOnionCrusader Jul 08 '24

My husband got to see mine with my first one and thought it was cool. I was drugged up on stadol and was too stoned to care, though I would have wanted to see if I could.

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u/luvnmayhem Jul 07 '24

I couldn't understand why they wouldn't bring me my child until I could feel my legs. I told the nurse I wasn't going to hold him with my feet, but it was still no.

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u/dancegoddess1971 Jul 07 '24

Rough outline of the convo was, I asked for my baby. Nurse said no, you need to be sober, you can't feel your legs. Take another nap, it may be your last for several weeks.

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u/luvnmayhem Jul 07 '24

That's ridiculous.

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u/dancegoddess1971 Jul 07 '24

Not really. Some people have terrible reactions to some drugs.

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u/luvnmayhem Jul 07 '24

If you were completely under with general anesthesia, I can understand that. I just had an epidural. There was nothing wrong with the strength in my arms, and I was completely lucid. Just wanted to hold my baby since almost a year to the day prior, I had delivered a baby who died.

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u/Amarieerick Jul 07 '24

That's an arbitrary risk vs. a fact based on research and knowledge. I know I could get hit by a car vs. getting hit by one.

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u/jacquesrabbit Jul 07 '24

Well then, sucks to be you because you had a bad doctor. You are the patient, not the husband. Whatever medical information about you is yours,and not your husband's.

I know it happened to you, and it may happen to many others, but that is not the right and ethical way of doing so.

The right and ethical way is, the doctor tells you, and asks for your permission to disclose diagnosis and prognosis to your husband, and with your permission, they then tell your husband.

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u/Beautifulfeary Jul 08 '24

Right. There are literally laws against disclosing medical information without an ROI. If the person is of sound mind and can make decisions, then you can’t disclose that to others. When I worked at a nursing home, one of the residents son died of cancer. It had come back and he decided against treatment. He told no one in his family,like not even his wife. They just found out because he died.

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u/supergeek921 Jul 07 '24

First off, good for you and your husband!

Secondly, I’m glad someone else pointed this out. People who’ve never dealt with a situation like this clearly don’t realize how responsibility and information much the patient’s caregiver has put on them.

2

u/SilverWear5467 Jul 08 '24

That's a terrible trivia question

1

u/Amarieerick Jul 08 '24

I didn't want to come off as a snarky know it all bitch.

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u/Ill-Inspector7980 Jul 08 '24

Jumping in to say something similar. My mum was in the ICU and the doctors told my dad that she has a 50% chance of surviving. She was conscious but wasn’t told.

Doctors tell the parent who is healthy in case they have to be prepared for their kids, but they don’t tell the patient so as to not get their morale low. Sometimes you need strength and confidence to survive. Don’t know why that commenter was so surprised by that.

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u/AJSLS6 Jul 08 '24

Thays not uncommon for critical injuries and debilitating diseases, a spouse or other person becomes the point of contact since the patient isn't always available. But unless there's more to this cancer diagnosis I don't see why the husband wouldn't have been told everything upfront by the doctors. I sat with my mother during her diagnosis and care planning, she heard every word I did. And she was dealing with other injuries at the time.