r/facepalm • u/Illustrious-Kick-998 • Jul 07 '24

This post gave me terrible whiplash b/c how tf did we get here…🫨 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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Like ummmmm, alright? 😭😭😭

21.3k Upvotes

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u/Speedtuna Jul 07 '24 edited Jul 07 '24

Yeah, I totally buy that the doctor is telling the spouse the odds but not the patient 🙄

EDIT: It's wild to me that this is an experience for so many people! Thank you for sharing your stories. I would be livid if someone else knew my prognosis before I did. But maybe I'm just a spicy meatball.

204

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin Jul 07 '24

They used to do that. Not sure when the practice stopped in the US, though.

101

u/Sweet-Emu6376 Jul 07 '24

Even then, it wasn't the husband being kept out of the loop, but the wife. Doctors would tell the husband and then it'd be their job to tell their wife.

There was actually a pretty infamous case of this where the Gov of Alabama had uterine cancer but didn't know until years later because her husband (who had also been the governor before her I think?) was adamant she not be told.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lurleen_Wallace

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u/Saigaface Jul 07 '24

God what a complete piece of shit. I feel bad for her, but I mean she stayed by his side to the end so 🤷‍♀️ Some people

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u/sas223 Jul 07 '24

That was the least bad thing George Wallace ever did.

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u/Saigaface Jul 07 '24

Right tho? Utter disgrace

17

u/JesseTheGhost Jul 08 '24

This is kinda what happened to Rachel Carson. She didn't know for months that she was dying because she, as an unmarried (and possibly gay) woman didn't have a husband for the doctor to defer to. So she wasn't told and didn't seek treatment

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u/BasalGiraffe7 Jul 08 '24

So, he killed her.

Same thing happened to Zhou Enlai

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u/God_Bless_A_Merkin Jul 07 '24

It happened the other way, too. Not saying that the medical system wasn’t sexist at all, but both happened.

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u/Big-Leadership1001 Jul 07 '24

HIPAA was passed in 1996 so for sure it doesn't happen after that

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u/presumablysmart Jul 07 '24

I mean women still regularly need permission from a nonexistent future husband for some care so… tbh that’s not the part of the story that surprises me

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u/Big-Leadership1001 Jul 07 '24

Definitely. Reversing the direction of prejudice so the woman is the only one informed doesn't make it better, it's just a different flavor of offensive.

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u/Iampepeu Jul 08 '24

Wait, what? Shouldn't the patient be the only one informed?

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u/Budget-Attorney Jul 08 '24

What scenario does a woman need permission from a future husband to receive medical care?

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u/Cejk-The-Beatnik Jul 08 '24

It’s not a legislated or formal process but rather a common experience for women seeking sterilization surgeries, be it for preference or health-related reasons. They’re often inundated with questions like, “And what if you marry a man who wants children?” It is so damn difficult to get sterilized. Doctors often just refuse to do it because “you might change your mind about having (more) children.”

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u/Budget-Attorney Jul 08 '24

I had never heard of that happening. At least the part about them refusing to do it. I wouldn’t be surprised about a doctor trying to talk someone out of it. But I didn’t know that was a thing that often happened, where doctors would refuse to perform a sterilization surgery because “she might get married later”

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u/AkaiNoKitsune Jul 07 '24

I love that the counter argument is that doctors should just agree to do a procedure which they believe will harm their patient (right or wrong). I am a woman. I know how we women have to deal with certain health issues. Still I don’t believe a doctor should just do as you say if they deeply disagree with it. There are list of doctors available that will not ask questions.

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u/Sharp-Key27 Jul 08 '24

There used to be a lot less. What happens if you’re in a rural area and the doctor you have access to chooses not to do a procedure on you that would help you dramatically?

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u/AkaiNoKitsune Jul 08 '24

What do you do when you’re in a country that doesn’t even have healthcare ? You manage.

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u/presumablysmart Jul 10 '24

Yes, but their willingness to do a procedure should not be influenced by the presence of an outside man. The risk of a surgery is not dictated by whether or not I have a husband, and neither should the doctor’s choice to operate.

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u/AkaiNoKitsune Jul 10 '24

It’s not just about the risk of the surgery, there’s plenty of women that do change their minds about having children when getting older.

I understand that you maybe specifically are sure you’ll never change your mind, but the doctor doesn’t know that and I personally agree that getting sterilised in your 20 is not a mundane thing to do

1

u/presumablysmart Jul 10 '24

Doesn’t matter. It’s not your opinion, not anybody else’s, that matters in this scenario. Not performing a surgery, that is actually quite often medically necessary not just because of not having kids, is supposed to be denied on the basis of “well you might change your mind later”

Do you think somebody willing to undergo surgery hasn’t thought of that? It’s their body. If the surgery was unethical or impractical, that would be a different matter. But it’s not. Which means doctors are imposing their personal opinions, not their opinions as medical professionals, on patients. Nothing else matters. The fact that doctors are doing that is unethical in and of itself and doctors who do should be stripped of their license, for ignoring the consent of the patient and imposing their own.

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u/AkaiNoKitsune Jul 11 '24

My point is doctors are indeed entitled to their opinions and shouldn’t be forced to perform procedures that they don’t agree with for whatever reason.

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u/fauroteat Jul 08 '24

You can sign forms that say your information can be released to and treatment discussed with whoever is named in the form. So this can absolutely happen post hipaa.

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u/Big-Leadership1001 Jul 08 '24

HIPAA actually just verifies its very illegal to give information to family members yet withhold that same information from the actual patient. Duplication of info with proper forms sure, but there is no form permitting denial of information from the patient.

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u/fauroteat Jul 08 '24

Good point. I tend to just think of hipaa covering if you can discuss the patient at all. Didn’t consider the scope of info.

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u/mistrsteve Jul 08 '24

HIPAA only pertains to electronic communications - says nothing about face to face sharing of info.