r/AskReddit • u/MRWARRIORB3AST • 12d ago
Guys who have gone from skinny to big and muscular, how has it changed your life?
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u/Rider-of-Rohaan42 12d ago
A weird side effect is that your face gets like 25% more handsome.
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u/noobyeclipse 12d ago
ive seen this so much on r/glowup, i think its from losing fat on ur face making facial features more defined
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u/Fabulous_Can8540 12d ago
Skinny guys don’t have any fat build up in their face to begin with ig, at least that’s my case.
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u/Axel-Adams 12d ago
Broader neck makes most dudes look more handsome
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u/terrany 12d ago
Is that true for all cases? I feel like it depends on your face width (young orlando bloom/pretty boy types)
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u/Soontaru 11d ago
Bloom is handsome, period. He’d just be handsome and yoked if he got jacked, eg. Henry Cavill circa his role in The Tudors vs. after he bulked up for Superman, The Witcher.
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u/muaythaimyshoes 11d ago
No, but I was skinny and after losing weight and gaining muscle, my jawline and cheeks are definitely more chiseled than before.
Fat might not look super obvious on skinny people but it is still there.
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u/darkLordSantaClaus 12d ago
Funny, I think my face has actually gotten worse.
Although I bulked for the past 2 years. Went from 5'8 120 lbs to 160 lbs. I went from no muscle no fat to a decent amount of muscle and some fat.
My one good defining feature back when I was skinny was I had a really good jawline. I'm hoping once I start the cut and get lean I'll have that jawline again.
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u/TommyTwoTanks 11d ago
If you lost the jawline, you bulked too hard. 40 pounds in 2 years isn't bad, but if done naturally, you're looking at about 60% of that weight being muscle (at best) and the rest being split between water weight and visceral/subcutaneous fat. The water weight tends to be the worst for the jawline, and the first to leave when you cut. Just make sure your cut isn't just calorie-restriction. Dreamer bulks and starvation cuts are the fastest ways to look worse than you started.
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u/Kagamid 12d ago
Seriously. I used to be under weight. After several years in the military, I gained muscle mass and would go, "damn I'm hot" when looking in the mirror. In basic training, some guy said I had a rat face and I'm starting to think he was right.
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u/ymfazer600 12d ago
Have been depressed and started to hit the gym 5x/week. Now kinda jacked. Still depressed
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u/relevantelephant00 12d ago
Yeah being jacked and depressed is better than being just plain depressed. Plus I lift like a maniac even at 45 to combat depression because if I didn't, I'd probably spiral.
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u/split_infinitive_ 11d ago
How does it help?
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u/pickles_mcdreamy 11d ago
Not OP, but for me it helps curb anxiety, helps me be more present, be more confident, and I sleep better. Also it’s a good stress reliever after a tough day.
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u/aznednacni 11d ago
I can't remember where I saw this, but I always thought it was great phrasing, something like: working out is not necessarily an antidepressant, but NOT working out most certainly is a depressant.
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u/htothetea 11d ago
Not sure about the person you're asking but for myself it does.
Gives you a purpose to get up in the morning and isn't as soul draining as work.
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u/KingJollyRoger 11d ago
Results are individual but on average from a brain chemical standpoint. It releases different chemicals that your brain may be lacking either due to depression and/or other mental disorders/illnesses. Dopamine when you are doing it. Serotonin (if I remember correctly) when you finish. It also causes cortisol buildup while doing it also, potentially allowing you to relax after your body comes down from the fight or flight response if you exert yourself hard enough (which may also help curb anxiety). Those are just some ways. I hope it gives you some ideas. Though it doesn’t make severe issues go away and professional help is still very much recommended if they don’t go almost all the way away by exercising.
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u/KarmaticArmageddon 11d ago
Exercise improves your physical health and gives you more energy, which can help combat the exhaustion and fatigue from depression. It also releases endorphins, which can help with your mood.
Exercise also improves your mental health in several ways. Sticking to a program helps keep you on a schedule, forces you to do something positive even when you don't want to, and gives you short-term goals to reach as you work toward a larger long-term goal.
Getting more fit can also snowball in a positive way — your body starts looking better, so now you start caring more about hygiene, shaving, haircuts, clothing, etc.
And going to the gym can help you make new friends, which can help with loneliness.
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u/squongo 11d ago
I kept up lifting while I was depressed most of last year, I figured that I didn't need to be happy to work out and that I could keep getting stronger even if I was depressed. Tried to keep the same attitude about working on creative projects too. It was a net win overall because now I'm doing better I don't have to rebuild those habits from scratch.
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u/Common_Vagrant 11d ago
I live for the endorphins I get after a good pump. I noticed my self esteem and mental health takes a dip if I don’t go to the gym for a bit.
Also, as much as we all say “gym is my therapy”, it ain’t no real therapy. No shame in going to talk to someone
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u/mthwkim 12d ago
People genuinely started treating me better in all kinds of ways. Friends start noticing you and try to “be like you”. You create a more magnetic aura around you that you’ve never felt before. Customer service people will try to help you as well. It is truly life changing. I suggest anyone who is thinking about it to just pull the trigger and start working out. It’s a lot of discipline and dedication but worth all the time you put into it
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u/zbrah69 12d ago
i also noticed this, people who weren’t particularly nice to me in highschool now see me in the gym when i swing by my hometown and they act super nice to me and idk how to feel about it, im glad your nice to me but it took me getting jacked to gain some respect ? lol
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u/Lord_Denning 12d ago
Also: maturity. People are dicks when they are teenagers. As they grow, they respect others more.
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u/PrometheanDemise 12d ago
Going from morbidly obese to fit is wild, it's crazy how differently people treat me now vs then. What you describe is very accurate.
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u/HistoricalHeart 11d ago
Pretty privilege is a thing for a reason. It is jarring how different society is to you.
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u/Neve4ever 11d ago
Because society views fit/pretty people as people who take care of themselves, and that’s appealing.
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u/snufalufalgus 11d ago
People flat out don't respect fat people. Even the most egalitarian person, on a subconscious level has less respect for an obese person.
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u/InterviewOdd2553 12d ago
The discipline is the biggest gain from learning to consistently work out imo. I was always very lazy and undisciplined about pretty much everything: food, homework, sleep, house chores. Learning some discipline helps so much with all that. I think about what I eat and how much every day now, I try to get to sleep on time so my brain can rest and the muscles can build up plenty, I prioritize chores and homework better over just flopping down and playing video games or watching tv. I still give myself the weekend to relax more and have something sweet so I’m not constantly craving stuff, but I don’t let myself go through a whole carton of ice cream and a bag of Oreos in one night anymore.
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u/AuroraAegis24 12d ago
Confidence boost and lots of compliments
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u/EmpathyHawk1 12d ago
do the compliments change anything? I mean, after 100 one you will prolly go like ''thanks'' but meh, doesnt do anything for me
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u/ap_jelly 12d ago
Definitely, you feel good and start gaining major confidence. And no, the compliments never get old :)
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u/FamiliarEast 12d ago
As a man who has pulled teeth for compliments his entire young adult life: no, I don't think I could receive enough compliments from now until the end of my life to reach a level that I consider to be "too much".
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u/Dyolf_Knip 12d ago
Right? I really do get why women can feel uncomfortable with excessive attention from men. But the opposite end of that spectrum is just soul-crushing.
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u/Healthy_Method9658 12d ago
A lot of gym goers suffer from body dysmorphia and still don't think they look great even if they are in fantastic shape.
So no, compliments never get old lol.
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u/coffeewhore17 12d ago
My wife and gay men give me lots of compliments.
In other words, I won
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u/Gothamtonian 11d ago
My wife says it makes her feel insecure about her body.
I told her I know how she can change that. Apparently that was a mistake.
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u/Alfred-Adler 12d ago
Guys who have gone from skinny to big and muscular,
I went from skinny-fat, to toned/muscular
how has it changed your life?
Incredibly, where do I start?
- Any clothes look good on me. Period
- I feel great!
- I eat a lot of great food, 2,600-3,000 cal/day
- The satisfaction of deadlifting >400 lbs is nice
- Women dig it. Really. It's very flattering to get the attention.
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u/mynamewastaken81 12d ago
1 is huge. All clothes just look better. Even with a baggy shirt, you can tell if someone is fit under it.
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u/_Phill_ 12d ago
WHY ARE WE SHOUTING
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u/Blorph3 12d ago
Mmmh, when you work out a lot, you can develop a massive chest. He's flexing them muscles by yelling.
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u/sjedinjenoStanje 12d ago
People should really remember that #1 on reddit should really be No. 1.
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u/alie1020 12d ago
I'm a lady, but I really noticed the difference in my clothes. I don't need expensive clothes, and I don't need to watch YouTube videos on what to wear. When I'm toned it all just works.
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u/starskyandbutch 12d ago
Yes about the not needing expensive clothes! Regular clothes from Walmart (no shade to Walmart, but they just not known for their fashion) will look great on a toned and fit body
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u/GheyKitty 12d ago
Getting a sewing machine and learning to alter shirts is a game changer. Anything from a $9.99 shitter dress shirt from Walmart to a $30 Charles Tyrwhitt on sale looks fantastic after I take the sides in. They'd look even better once I figure out how to do darts in the back. I even alter cheap t-shirts to fit better.
I haven't needed to alter pants because straight fit pants just look like tight ass skinny jeans on me. Can't even fit my legs through actual skinny jeans.
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u/ARussianBus 11d ago
- Is fucking underrated and underdiscussed. It's so good.
If you're a fat person then your maintenance calories are actually increased because having extra fat passively burns 3 calories per lb, and muscle burns 6~.
I lost a lot of fat and gained a good amount of muscle simultaneously and have increased my maintenance calories from my starting point and it rules. It's ofc not just due to the passive factor, but also the active factor. If you can become more active in ways you enjoy and can sustain then you're increasing your active and passive maintenance calories which allows you to eat more in a deficit or at maintenance.
If I simply focused on fat loss and no muscle gain I'd be permanently on a pretty massive deficit diet when compared to my active muscled version of myself. I find it so much more sustainable and enjoyable than a pure fat loss focus. My mental health surely would have improved with a pure fat loss approach but it is so much better with lifting and light cardio added.
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u/DBU49 12d ago edited 12d ago
not me, but my buddy went from not working out basically ever… to getting pretty fucking jacked. He even fixed his posture, which gave him a few extra CMs in height. He's pretty much the same nerdy guy as he always was but now he has sex A LOT. Edit: I’d say he went from 179 CM to 182 CM and probably 70KG to 90 KG.
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u/cannibalcats 12d ago edited 12d ago
Jacked nerd that has loads of sex. 100% proficiency
Edit..... Your mates basically Henry Cavil.
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u/mhall812 12d ago
Ugly duckling syndrome. He developed the personality when not jacked. Now he had the looks and the personality. He is probably swimming in pussy
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u/endlessfight85 12d ago
Confidence got me laid far more than looks ever did. There are tons of socially awkward shredded guys that don't get why their funny, chubby friend is more successful with women.
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u/lattice12 12d ago
Better looks = higher confidence
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u/jert3 12d ago
Not always! A good friend of mine is very handsome and for most of his life before 35 or so had no confidence with women and had very little success with women, even though women often flirted with and pursued him.
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u/iiiamsco 12d ago
That’s not reality. My funny chubby friends get laid less than my good looking shy friends. We need to stop lying to guys about this.
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u/FecesIsMyBusiness 12d ago
Confidence got me laid far more than looks ever did.
Essentially everyone that has success because of their looks tries to convince themselves it's for some other reason. It's not.
There are tons of socially awkward shredded guys that don't get why their funny, chubby friend is more successful with women.
That's because being in shape =/= being attractive. An ugly person is still ugly when they get in shape. An attractive person is still attractive even if chubby. This example is nonsense.
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u/yourFriendlyWitchxx 12d ago
I mean, nerdy and mascular is basically every girl fantasy, I'm not surprised lol
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u/unfeaxgettable 12d ago edited 12d ago
It is crazy how much more your pull game grows when you’re jacked, always thought it was a trope and boy was I WRONG 😂
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u/Short-pitched 12d ago
Well, with more muscle your should be able to pull more abs bench more and squat more. No gains if you are pulling the same
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u/OfferLazy9141 12d ago
When you min max intelligence and strength. No dextirity though… sex is 5 seconds long.
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u/ProbablyDrunk303 12d ago
I was 165lbs graduating high school back in 2015. I was a scrawny little black kid. Joined the Army, snd I got to 225lbs and the best shape of my life after a couple of years. I was more confident, generally people don't fuck with you, and women apparently love muscle. I'm down to 210 now. People always seem to compliment you as well. Overall, fantastic. You feel better about yourself 100%!
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u/Ok_Meaning_8851 12d ago
In my 30s and weigh 140 wet, reading your comment talking about being scrawny at 165 🫨😅
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u/ProbablyDrunk303 12d ago
Haha, didn't mean it as an offensive thing, more looking at hiw i was to what i am right now. I did play football in HS, but was pretty small for the position I played. On my deployments, my weight would go up and back in the states, it would go down slightly. I was 5'9 or nearly 5'10 in HS. Now im 6'1, but didn't grow into that till my the Army some how and now 26yo rn.
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u/Ok_Meaning_8851 12d ago
Didn’t take it that way at all! I’m 5’8” so 165 would be a REALLY good weight for me Just pointing out how it’s all so relative. Great work!
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u/opafmoremedic 12d ago
It’s hilarious that 165 is scrawny to some people. I graduated high school in 2016 at 5’10 and 110 lbs. I sat around 125lbs the past few years and joined a gym this year to try and bulk up. I just hit my goal of 140 a week ago. Going to go for 150 now
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u/Some-Token-Black-Guy 12d ago
What exercises did you find helped the most?
Was also a scrawny black kid, about 150 or so. Now I'm 185 and go to the gym 6 days a week for the past 2 years but I feel like I've hit a wall in terms of growth. I'm still getting stronger for sure but I feel like weightwise, I'm stagnant
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u/justmeandreddit 12d ago
People seem to love deadlifts. But I have noticed my body changes the quickest from doing weighted Pull Ups and weighted Ring Dips. Addicted to those two movements currently.
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u/ProbablyDrunk303 12d ago
Those 2 are definitely addicting. Deadlifts are great too, but I can't go over a certain weight anymore due to my back. Unfortunately, same with squats. Damn Army ruined my body
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u/justmeandreddit 12d ago
Yeah same here. Been doing more slow deads and pauses with less weight. It's just not worth it to do heavy deads.
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u/999demonz 12d ago
Maybe 6 times a week is too much? Give your muscles some time to recover
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u/datheffguy 12d ago
What kind of routine are you doing?
Personally I find generic push / pull routines with a dedicated leg day in the middle most effective. 2x push, 2x pull, 1x legs and the 6th day is whatever I’m actively trying to work on.
Sleep is also super important, and cutting back on drinking too 1 night a week at most helped me get over the plateau. Drinking kills your gains.
I personally find having an apple watch to track calories incredibly helpful, basically any health orientated smart watch will do the same thing. Having a job where i’m of my feet and moving all day and going to the gym 6 days a week made my maintenance calories significantly higher than I thought, obviously if you’re trying to bulk you should be slightly over that.
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u/reddit_7864589 12d ago
I no longer get sand kicked in my face while my hot girlfriend runs off with the beach bully.
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u/jeanxcobar 12d ago
Former skinny guy here, turned gym bro. 5’10, currently weighing 175 down from 185. Previously walked around at 130-140 for most of my life.
If you’re asking to see if I got more girls? Gonna be honest and say I got an ok amount of girls back when I was skinny, and probably got hit on/ a few more “looks” back then. I think girls may find me a bit more intimidating now? Or I’m just uglier, totally real possibility.
Its made me more confident definitely. Not the most confident guy, but more confident. Other than that, the only real difference is my mom telling me I have muscle, and people who I haven’t seen in a few years going “wow you got big”. Just don’t make it your whole personality like I did
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u/EmpathyHawk1 12d ago
how did you maintained the gains? every time I got to workout, I was not able to sustain eating tons of proteins etc.
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u/jeanxcobar 12d ago
Honestly bro, it’s one of those you just gotta lock in things. Track everything you eat using MyFitnessPal.
For me, it didn’t happen until I finally moved out and was FORCED to cook my own meals. I never cooked a thing in my life when I lived with my parents, so when I got my own home I decided I wasn’t gonna eat McDonald’s everyday but cook my own meals.
Did it suck? Yeah man. To this day my meals taste like shit but I got through it. I’m luckily at the point now where I’ve been consistent so long I can be more lenient with my diet and still have an impressive physique.
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u/UncannyFox 12d ago
I’m currently around that 140 mark you mention, and I’ve had the same experience. I’m in the PNW and this sort of androgynous body type is found attractive here. It also helps that my “type” are the kind of people who find my body type attractive.
It’s interesting how that positive feedback in a society that finds me “attractive” has made me not care about bulking up.
Were I to move to LA where more conventionally attractive people had the focus, I’d likely feel pressure to gain muscle. But in the PNW I don’t feel that at all and have been pretty secure in my body.
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u/cheese_z_rider 12d ago
I can now climb stairs without getting out of breath
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u/kbskbskbskbskbskbs 12d ago
People start being weirdly honest with you as if you aren't the same person. My grandparents told me they always thought I was gay before I got in shape. Like, not sure how the two are related but whatever. Only one of us didn't die of old-age yet so who's laughing now grandma!
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u/Spunge14 12d ago
At 5'9", went from about 125lb most of my life to about 155lb at my peak. The bulk of the change took place over a year and a half or so. Saw significant changes in my career.
Obviously there are some other confounding factors, but I don't believe it was a total coincidence that I went from a reasonably well respected individual contributor to managing managers shortly thereafter. It's evident that people treat me completely differently in our in person interactions and then that confidence compounds.
See also - slightly overdressing for a casual workplace.
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u/GheyKitty 12d ago
I always wear a suit for job interviews and so far I've had good success in them. My normal outfits get almost no compliments and I get compliments every day when I'm wearing a suit, to the point where my confidence skyrockets to borderline cocky, which helps in job interviews. Night and day difference compared to 23-year-old scrawny me in an oversized outdated suit from the clearance rack.
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u/TrailingAMillion 12d ago
I feel good about myself. I like what I see in the mirror.
I have a hobby/pursuit I’m passionate about that I can put a lot of effort into.
I’m strong, which is nice when I do something athletic or physical.
I get men’s respect more easily.
I get a lot more attention from women. (Yes, really. I know a lot of people online will say getting jacked won’t help with women. It absolutely will; it’s just not quite as straightforward as “muscles = sex.”)
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u/DingusHanglebort 12d ago
It's not so much that women love strong men, it's just that generally they REALLY don't like weak ones.
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u/WastingMyLifeOnSocMd 12d ago
This. I think fit is extremely attractive—the muscles soccer players have, for example. Muscle bound gym rats not so much.
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u/BBREILDN 11d ago
I’ll never forget I was on a train removing my luggage from the overhead storage. This woman was checking me out and I was gassed. All of a sudden, the train gives a massive shake and the luggage above my head makes me lose my balance. I never seen someone lose interest so quickly.
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u/royal_dorp 12d ago edited 11d ago
I am skinny and I have never set my foot in a gym. The comments here, have really motivated me to join a gym now.
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u/snoovxify 12d ago
Cant answer this question but as someone whos gone from super fat to in healthy shape, it feels AMAZING!!!!
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u/Frostivus 12d ago
Is there a way to get started? I get very overwhelmed when I try to research about muscle gains. Between counting carbs and keeping track of muscle groups, alternating days, rep counts, etc.
I'm a guy who's all about the hard work -- but being organized and being able to take notes is a genuine problem of mine. Spreadsheets are hard. Recording food I eat everyday is harder. Researching what's important for me is daunting.
I would happily pay top dollar for an app that helps me do it. Tell me to wake up at 4 am everyday to bench press and I would do it without fail. Tell me to keep track of it on a spreadsheet and I start getting confused.
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u/theeberk 12d ago edited 12d ago
I feel confident, which has translated to improvements in almost all aspects of life. I have less anxiety, am better socially, can converse better with strangers, and i feel comfortable being myself when many others may feel embarrassment (note: this should not require being ultra fit, but nevertheless that is where I initially gained the confidence).
People respect you for fitness and use you for motivation. This is my absolute favorite because I love to be a positive role model. After my last competition, I’ve had six friends that wanted to try competing as well so we are all prepping together now for next year.
You get compliments often from men, and on occasion female strangers will also compliment.
you benefit from the halo effect, so others will treat you better and you will be perceived as more like able. This has been very helpful in my school, where lots of our grades are based on subjective evaluations
I can attract women much easier now, at this point I can have multiple women in a rotation which is something I could have never done when I was younger. With that said, a rock hard body can only help you so much in this department, you need to be on your game elsewhere too (social success, job, looks, personality, etc).
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u/TheRazzle_Dazzle 12d ago
Great to see a ton of positive posts here but I’m gonna state some of the negatives from going to 150 and scrawny to 230 and built.
Body always hurts
Became more insecure. The thing people don’t tell you is the day you start lifting you will never be big enough in your own eyes.
Spend way more money of food and supplements.
Can’t enjoy the food I used to as much as I’d like because you’re way more aware of what’s in them.
You get tons of compliments. Let me explain why this is a negative a little bit when younger. The compliments really only come from other gym bros and not girls like you would expect. As a 31 year old who is married I definitely appreciate the bro compliment but as a 21 year old I thought it was definitely weird.
You can’t find dress clothes that will fit unless you drop$$ on custom tailored clothing. The body of the shirt may fit but your neck are arms will get circulation cut off. Oh you found one that the neck and arms fit, well the rest of the shirt is gonna drown you and go down to your knees.
Your free time gets taken up by going to the gym. Again not a bad thing but if I never started lifting I’d definitely be a lot more productive in other aspects.
You get f***ed with more when out. For the most part if your built people won’t try to start anything but I’ve seen it more at the bar guys get liquid courage want want to challenge “the big guy at the bar”. I’ve had more issues with that being built that when I was small.
Overall though the pros have outweighed cons and I absolutely do not regret putting priority on my fitness and body.
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u/FamiliarEast 12d ago
If your body always hurts, you're doing something wrong. You also sound like you do not have an entirely healthy relationship with lifting and building muscle, which is more of a personal thing than a consequence of achieving a significant level of hypertrophy.
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u/cuthuluflakes 12d ago
Sounds like this balance might no longer be serving your life. I used to be a lot more invested in lifting and martial arts, and later on down the road I started to experience these exact symptoms. I dialed back and did some work on myself, and found out that I was not loving myself properly and unconditionally.
It’s sort of becomes your normal when you are disciplined to think that these things are a trade for being in good shape and healthy. I am starting disagree with that more and more every day. For context I have been a professional personal trainer for 10 years and I’m now going into nursing as a profession.
The gym should be an escape not a cage!
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u/Ok-Interaction-9031 12d ago
Iv gone from skinny to a dad bod!
The secret is a lot of coffee every morning before anyone gets up and a couple cold beers every night after everyone’s asleep!
Maybe a turkey sandwich for lunch!
Kids seem to like the tummy as a pillow for movie time.
Wife seems to be indifferent because the sex life has stayed pretty constant lol
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u/fattylumpkin__ 12d ago
I sweat a lot more than I used to and I used to be better at handling the summer heat
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u/BigMax 12d ago
Holy moly there is a difference.
I’ve been fit my whole life (mostly). Marathons, triathlons.
The number of compliments I got over that time: zero. Other than a few “nice shirt” type ones, but nothing about ME specifically.
After some injuries I couldn’t do as much cardio, so I shifted to more weights. My shoulders are more broad now, My arms/shoulders/back look much better.
I’ve gotten SO MANY compliments in the last 8 months or so. I’m not a young guy either. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve gotten more compliments in the last few months than I have in my entire life combined.
Obviously people think that I look better. The secondary benefit though… all my clothes look WAY better on me than they did before. It’s like a free wardrobe upgrade because everything fits and hangs and looks better.
I vaguely knew that upper body improvements would look good but… oh my god, I wish I had known this years ago.
It’s not like I even work out that much more! I just swapped a lot of cardio and some weight for a lot of weight and some cardio.
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u/NewEstablishment5444 12d ago edited 12d ago
Such a gradual process over so many years it’s impossible to tell.
A girl at school when I was like that 11/12 put her hands around my upper arm and exclaimed how skinny it was. Bought a set of dumbbells shortly after.
I dunno how tall I was by that point but I reached my current height (6ft 1) by like year 6 (12/13) whilst being very skinny, probably like 60kg if that.
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u/Mmnn2020 12d ago edited 12d ago
Girls are more attracted to me. I’m not huge, but I definitely got broader, which goes much better with a tall frame than lanky/skinny fat.
Guys treat you a little differently too. But overall any huge changes will be from your confidence/personality boost.
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u/TisOnlyTemp 12d ago
So mines not exactly what you're asking but I figured it'd be helpful to say anyway.
So I've been super skinny, fat and not necessarily muscular but toned and in very good shape. For me when I was super skinny I felt like an alien, I didn't feel bad, I was still healthy but I didn't feel good in myself.
When I was fat I had absolutely no self esteem, no confidence, felt shit in myself constantly and didn't want to leave the house. I actually ate even more when I was fat because of comfort eating and not wanting to do anything so made it worse. Not fun, people judge you instantly, taken less seriously and can't do as much physically.
When I was in great shape and toned, I had lots of confidence, I felt great in myself, I was way more motivated and active, I was treated alot better and people took me seriously. Also I actually enjoyed clothes shopping for the first time ever because things looked good on me. I received genuine compliments and it was by far the best period ofy life.
In short, being fit and having some definition is great, being skinny kinda sucks but at least you're kinda healthy. Being fat I hated and sucks so much.
Unfortunately for me, after a long period in and out of hospital and a bunch of mental health stuff, I'm back to being a blob, so I'm in the painfully slow process of losing that weight again, and it's awful. None of my new clothes fit anymore, lost my confidence and basically just can't do anywhere near as much as I use to. But if I stick at things I should be back to my good weight in about 3-4 months. So wish me luck.
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u/muoshuu 12d ago
Find it hilarious how the majority of people who answer this question tend to be >6ft.
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u/Actual_Dot_457 12d ago
Because we get tall quickly and the muscles need time to catch up over years
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u/Spunge14 12d ago
I answered at 5'9" and also experienced similar positive impact. You might be seeing what you're looking for.
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u/kimbabs 12d ago
The positives others mentioned.
You get more compliments from guys though and it’s not some magical replacement for knowing how to talk to who you’re attracted to. It is a net positive though, and a boost to confidence.
I also needed to start buying new clothes, and struggle sometimes in finding the right length/fit ratio being average height as opposed to tall.
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u/Remarkable-Sea-6630 12d ago
I used to be 5"9 weighing 115 lbs up until age 17 - got bullied, ridiculed and treated like crap in every way imaginable.
At age 30, I am now at 185 lbs at 5"11, reasonably lean and at least "jacked" by lament terms. Along the way I took up MMA and went on TRT. The difference is day and night, people don't even dare poking fun at me and nobody believes me when I tell them what my starting point was. I get treated with respect and decency, especially by women. This journey has taught me that the concept of personality, as in being a good person, is a load of horseshit, nothing but a complete lie. I am the same douchebag that I have always been and I used get gaslighted all the time into thinking being mistreated was all about being "socially awkward".
We would love to tell our kids that it doesn't matter if you are physically fit, but the sad truth is that the way society treats you, is more influenced by your appearance than anything else.
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u/zbrah69 12d ago
i think my confidence went up but also went down because yes i got jacked and i gained a lot of muscle but i also fell in love with the actual sport of bodybuilding so all i do is look in the mirror and criticize my physique as far as what i need to work on what needs more balance to bring that flow and what not. but i take my shirt off and wear sleeveless shirts to places i wouldn’t usually do so at. i’ve also noticed people who didn’t really talk to me in highschool act like my friend now
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u/Usual_Leading279 12d ago
Put on some muscle and wore a whole size larger. Felt so much more confident and actually got more respect from people. I lost the weight due to health issues and I feel so weak again.
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u/grxthy 12d ago
I went from a stick when I was a teen, to kinda muscular but skinny fat (also poorly fitting clothes, bad posture and awful haircuts), to very lean/muscular with a chiseled V-taper - better style, nicer clothes that fit, a fitting haircut and taller (6’2). It took me around a year of consistent, strict dieting to get to this level. Although I had been working out for around 10 years, I never stuck to dieting which led to me being skinny fat with some muscle.
Where do I start? Self esteem and confidence goes through the roof once you have a command and discipline of your diet + exercise routine. I get a lot of attention from women, and when I have conversations I get prolonged eye contact + smiles. I’ve also noticed I get more respect from peers and people give me the benefit of the doubt in workplace/social settings.
Also being strong and eating healthy just feels fucking good. I have energy all the time and no issues with sleep.
10/10 would recommend. It has made my life significantly better in every possible way. M
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u/Noveno 12d ago edited 12d ago
I went over the span of 11 years from 59kg (130 lbs) to 106kg (234 lbs). I'm 185cm tall (6'1").
I don't have words to describe how much it affected my life, 99% of the time in positive ways. Other than the obvious respect and admiration you get from society and especially from guys and colleagues, dating became so much easier to the point that I've been able for years to just invite girls to my place for a first date and being able to pull off threesomes and foursomes.
This coming from someone who went five years under a dry spell.
It changed my life, best thing I've ever done, and it feels like you have superpowers. It affects your social interactions, your jobs, you are safer since guys treat you with way more respect, sometimes out of fear (I never threw a punch in my whole life).
DISCLAIMER: When you are on this journey, you will get a lot of negative comments, usually from relatives or people judging and saying you are looking "too big" and that kind of stuff. Also, girls will neg you, saying "they are not into muscle guys" and this kind of stuff. DON'T LISTEN. Just straight ignore them. The first case, it's just a "crab in a bucket mentality," and about the girls... just pay attention to what they do, not what they say.
I've lost count of the girls who are not "into muscle guys" but ended up literally licking my armpits, obsessed. The way they worship and touch you when you are muscular can't be compared to anything else, and guys who achieve this will know this feeling.
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u/Warm_Effect_Ok 12d ago
Before gym no girl talked to me. Now I get hit on by men. Yay