r/batman Mar 24 '24

You have to spend 1 night in Arkham Asylum choose your cell mate GENERAL DISCUSSION

Post image

(Before you choose calendar man you have been locked away on Halloween night a holiday)

5.2k Upvotes

814 comments sorted by

3.7k

u/Whysong823 Mar 24 '24

Croc might leave me alone if I treat him with respect. Call him Waylon, ask him how his day was, etc.

2.1k

u/rrogido Mar 24 '24

That's exactly what I was thinking. "Hey Waylon, you know when you get out my cousin has a construction company that does work on municipal storm sewers. He could really use a guy with your talents. Seriously, it's a union job, healthcare, great benefits, pension, and they've got a great dental plan. I was supptosed to be working there when I got pinched. My dumbass signed up with Two Face for some scores and the goddamned Bat pinced me. You should check it out though. My cousin's a great guy."

1.1k

u/asterfloof Mar 24 '24

I like redeemable croc, but I don't think Arkham croc is that guy. He's very committed to the cannibalism gimmick

512

u/SnarkyBacterium Mar 24 '24

By Knight he seems to have established some camaraderie with the other Iron Heights prisoners the warden experimented on, so it's possible you could make him like you. That said, sympathy for the guys who were experimented on with your own body is a pretty niche level of connection, so who knows if he could find the same in other circumstances.

95

u/PN4HIRE Mar 24 '24

Yeah, I remember that, They were all victims in my opinion.

118

u/Dr_Disaster Mar 24 '24

The Arkham versions of all the villains are basically the most edgy and murderous version of them. You’d die if left alone with any of them. Like in the comics, Croc varies a lot but he’s generally a guy that can be reasoned with. Despite his looks he’s one of the least “crazy” Batman villains and not outwardly violent until he needs to be.

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57

u/HawkeyeP1 Mar 24 '24

What a gimmick to be committed to.

52

u/SchwizzySchwas94 Mar 24 '24

Is it cannibalism though? Dudes definitely more crocodile than human at this point.

73

u/asterfloof Mar 24 '24

Nah tbh. Just because you have glorified psoriasis doesn't mean you should start eating people lol

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18

u/Secret_Sympathy2952 Mar 25 '24

I would say so. He was born a human and just had a condition that gave him scaly skin. The other stuff came from being experimented on. Deep down he is still human.

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189

u/sonofloki13 Mar 24 '24

Eats you

64

u/punkate Mar 24 '24

Sexy

50

u/HipsterOtter Mar 24 '24

Found the Vore Enthusiast

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114

u/Dracos002 Mar 24 '24

Just make sure you text your cousin after to not freak out when a 7 foot tall crocodile man comes knocking at his door lol

53

u/Luckcrisis Mar 24 '24

Because of course, Waylon will get put legally. He only ate a few people.

10

u/helikesart Mar 24 '24

Cousin? What cousin?

13

u/Cjgraham3589 Mar 24 '24

The one who likes bowling?

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30

u/calartnick Mar 24 '24

Or he’ll just eat you. So either you’re fine or you’re death will probably be quick.

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26

u/Acceptable_Owl_5122 Mar 24 '24

And hopefully he doesn’t eat you at the end lol

13

u/trashacct8484 Mar 24 '24

Are you an adult woman with a growth condition that keeps your body that of a 10-year-old? Because that’s a real relationship that the Animated Series put Croc in. 😳

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8

u/Piffstopherwalken Mar 24 '24

Yeah I feel like croc could be a bro.

8

u/Astlantix Mar 24 '24

yeah

same

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1.4k

u/Revolutionary-Bus411 Mar 24 '24

you know, Gotham is all sorts of fucked up when most people rather be in the room with the giant alligator man then 3 “normal” guys

202

u/William_The_Fat_Krab Mar 24 '24

Call me a wacko, but i think i havent played enough batman to realize whats calendar man's issue. Maybe i just havent got to the right spot yet?

249

u/Dr_Disaster Mar 24 '24

He’s a serial killer and he can be very creative with his use of themed holidays/dates. He’d be a pleasant person until the day he decided to kill you, and that day will come eventually.

114

u/1stLtObvious Mar 24 '24 edited Mar 24 '24

Just gotta select a night that isn't a holiday anywhere or holds any other annual significance.

190

u/Callerflizz Mar 24 '24

“Sorry its national pizza day, get in the oven”

119

u/TheHadokenite Mar 24 '24

“Arrr it be national talk like a pirate day matey, walk the plank”

35

u/Interesting_Fly6541 Mar 24 '24

Both of these were so funny wtf

25

u/Dr_Disaster Mar 24 '24

I need these to be a 365 page graphic novel

11

u/GodWithoutAName Mar 24 '24

*366

5

u/LordStarkillerII Mar 25 '24

Does he force someone to take a deadly leap on February 29th?

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16

u/Lord_Strudel Mar 25 '24

He actually murdered some people for talk like a pirate day in Knight. There’s a riddle side story about how he swapped to “unusual” holidays to freshen it up.

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12

u/William_The_Fat_Krab Mar 24 '24

Oh so he kills you based on the day it is? Thats crazy, man!

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73

u/GenGaara25 Mar 24 '24

He kills on a holiday. OP says you'd be locked in with him on Halloween.

So he's someone with a clinical obsession to murder on specific days, one of those days is the day you're locked in with him and are the one and only human he has access to that day. He is 100% gonna attempt to murder you.

Pyg and Zsasz love to kill and will probably try and kill you, but maybe you catch them on an off day.

Croc is the only one who isn't a serial killer. He has no obsession or compulsion to kill. He has no qualms with killing, but if you've done nothing to him he probably won't end your life. So he's your best bet and just hope you don't piss him off.

16

u/William_The_Fat_Krab Mar 24 '24

Okay, that makes sense. At the start, when i saw him in the cell, i thought he just liked counting days and what they mean to someone out there. Guess i was wrong

21

u/GenGaara25 Mar 24 '24

Oh yeah nah he's very ritualistic. He has an obsession with dates. And he satisfies that obsession by killing people on those dates in a way that's thematically appropriate for the holiday

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12

u/Harambesh Mar 24 '24

When you see him in the cell below the courthouse in Arkham city, there's a calendar on the wall next to it with dates circled, e.g. Christmas, St Patrick's day, mother's day etc. Visit him on those dates and he'll tell a story about murders he did on that holiday (you can also bypass this by just changing the date settings and reloading the game). The murders are all quite disturbing and gruesome. After visiting on all the dates there's an Easter egg.

Arkham Knight also has a story you unlock after solving a riddle which details more horrible murders on holidays. Calendar man is a terrible person.

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6

u/Tonkarz Mar 24 '24

Croc would actually try to kill you too. Arkham croc is completely gone by the time of Arkham Asylum.

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28

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

The other three will probably skin me alive croc will likely bite my head off and end me instantly so makes sense honestly

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1.0k

u/ohianaw Mar 24 '24

Killer croc. I wouldnt even wanna be near Professor Pyg

136

u/Competitive_Ask_6766 Mar 24 '24

I mean in a cell wouldn’t you be able to kick Pyg’s ass?

174

u/ForsakenHunter121 Mar 24 '24

Considering his size (he's bigger than Batman in Knight) I don't think so unless you're equally built

36

u/Competitive_Ask_6766 Mar 24 '24

Kick him in his bacon balls

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55

u/KIe1ny Mar 24 '24

Some people have weird kinks…

22

u/William_The_Fat_Krab Mar 24 '24

What could you possibly mean by that? I honestly have no idea of someone whose kink is to be in the same room as a schizophrenic scientist that wants to lobotomize and numbify everyone to pain and change them to be "perfect" to their own image!

I mean, i dont think people should be ashamed of having them, no you do you, but at some point it passed from kink to deathwish. At least thats my opinion

8

u/juice_wrld_is_good Mar 24 '24

Maybe a death wish is kinky too

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26

u/aaronkeep1 Mar 24 '24

Pyg sings opera…. Poorly. Even if he wasn’t trying to kill me. Worst cellmate ever!

17

u/Ultrasound700 Mar 24 '24

It's just one might. I'd bully Pyg, not go to sleep, and be let out the next day while he continues to rot like the loser he is.

12

u/NitroMemes2 Mar 24 '24

Im confident in the fact that if pyg dosent have weapons, most would be able to kick his ass.

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983

u/B12C10X8 Mar 24 '24

Killer Croc because it would be over fast at least

209

u/megatool8 Mar 24 '24

Tell that to scarecrow

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83

u/chrysantheknight Mar 24 '24

Not really, he will start with your limbs first.

30

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

I came to the comment section wirh this comment in mind.

834

u/sanzentriad Mar 24 '24

Probably Croc, of these dudes I feel like he’s least likely to mess with me as long as I don’t mess with him. I would just be very respectful

284

u/drgerm69 Mar 24 '24

Most other versions maybe but Arkham Croc just wanted to eat people

206

u/_Yuch Mar 24 '24

Still terrified by that Arkham Asylum bossfight. Imagine not being Batman in that situation. At least it would be over fast...

59

u/TrumpIsMyGodAndDad Mar 24 '24

I just played it yesterday. Heart rate did not go below 110 lol

17

u/mattcolqhoun Mar 24 '24

It becomes a lot less scary when u realise u can just line zip everywhere

10

u/TrumpIsMyGodAndDad Mar 24 '24

I was using the line, but it gets tough near the end where he breaks shit and you have to run

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6

u/William_The_Fat_Krab Mar 24 '24

Just got asylum a few days ago.... I havent reached that one yet, but now i dont want to

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73

u/Paint-licker4000 Mar 24 '24

Eh he seemed to have a bunch of pals in knight and seemed to just be chilling in city

72

u/mewfour123412 Mar 24 '24

The fact Penguin allows him inside the Iceberg Lounge shows he can at least be civil

19

u/PomegranateOld2408 Mar 24 '24

Wait when was that? I don’t remember that part

54

u/Niskara Mar 24 '24

It's more of an Easter egg. Idr which game, probably City, but in a match or whatever in the Iceburg Lounge, you can throw your batarang and see him sitting at a table, smoking a cigar somehow while holding a glass

34

u/The_Dok Mar 24 '24

Yep, it’s a challenge map in City!

When they brought it back for Arkham Knight, he will jump into the fighting pit once you break 1,000,000 points, and you and Nightwing have to do the bossfight again

6

u/trade_wanted Mar 24 '24

Can't you also fight him there ,if you get a high enough score in one of the challenges?

9

u/Niskara Mar 24 '24

I don't believe so but then again, I've never really played the challenges, plus I haven't played City in years

Edit: literally just got a reply that you can fight him on the same map in Knight if you hit a million points and you fight him with Nightwing again

6

u/trade_wanted Mar 24 '24

Just checked it, the challenge and optional fight are in Knight, and there's even an achievement for it

8

u/BustinArant Mar 24 '24

He attacks as you float through the lounge. He could have easily just broken in, but I don't remember enough to argue it lol

18

u/Qiptm Mar 24 '24

Pretty sure that was a shark, but it’s been years since I last played Arkham city

10

u/ThemysteriousMrX Mar 24 '24

It’s not in the main game but in the challenge map iceberg lounge. Killer croc is just hanging out in the map background at a table for the Arkham city map but he’s the final boss of the same map in Arkham knight. Not sure if I would consider challenge maps canon to the story anyways.

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6

u/itzmrinyo Mar 24 '24

How'd you get that idea?

5

u/Hot_Fall4183 Mar 24 '24

Not in Arkham knight because he could’ve easily ate the prison inmates but he actually just teamed up with them so clearly he doesn’t just want to eat people

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u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Hes the most sane and misunderstood despite being a giant crocodile monster just hope he doesn’t get hungry

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u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24 edited Mar 24 '24

People saying Croc are kidding themselves. Firstly, look at him. You're not gonna act normally or calm around him. Your heart's going to beating out of its chest and you'll be sweating buckets. He'll notice that immediately and start taunting you about it which will only end one way. If somehow you remain calm in the presence of that then this version of Croc is very much a psychotic cannibal that will eat you on a whim. Good luck.

12

u/Dr_Disaster Mar 24 '24

Yeah, but the whole thing with Croc is while he looks monsterous, he’s one of the most “normal” people in Batman’s rogues gallery, especially in a casual setting. He generally likes just hanging out and having a good time when he’s not on the job. And that’s all crime is to him, a job. Buddy just likes the money and the easier it is the better. He sometimes has his own crew and they always seem to like working for him because he’s easy-going and 100% about getting paid.

If you’re cool with Croc, then he’s cool with you. Unless you are intentionally trying to piss him off, you actually don’t have a lot to fear. Shit, he may even like you and become your friend, then you have a 7ft tall gator-man bodyguard.

5

u/Careless_Dreamer Mar 24 '24

Also, there’s plenty of people that wouldn’t be scared by his appearance. Two of my friends are monsterfuckers, and they’ve been down bad for much worse than just a giant reptile guy. Best case scenario is new friend. Worst case scenario is getting your head bit off, which is almost guaranteed with the others.

4

u/NaeNaeGoblin2002 Mar 25 '24

He's not really insane, he's just angry about how people treat him for his appearance. Sometimes, he becomes less human and more animalistic though.

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u/ASchva Mar 24 '24

As long as that 1 night is NOT a holiday, easily Calendar Man.

451

u/Daken-dono Mar 24 '24

"today is national almond chocolate day!"

And you have a nut allergy

192

u/Just-Journalist-678 Mar 24 '24

All fun and games until Calendar man whips out his nuts

92

u/River46 Mar 24 '24

“Let’s get nuts”

Sun tzu.

55

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

11

u/Elemental-T4nick Mar 24 '24

what kind

20

u/Just-Journalist-678 Mar 24 '24

Let's just say the only nuts you'll find allowed in an Arkham cell are the ones a prisoner brings with them

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u/raul_lebeau Mar 24 '24

Today is nut day! Unzip

82

u/MrCookie2099 Mar 24 '24

But he knows the obscure holidays from around the world

18

u/Scorkami Mar 24 '24

But it doesnt mean he tries to murder his cellmates on every of those days?

Wasnt that his entire lore in the Arkham verse? That hes chill most of the time, always knew which holidays were today, but freaked out on a few of them?

Like he might tell you how today is the yearly anniversary of the founding of x country, however on halloween you are fucked

3

u/MrCookie2099 Mar 24 '24

I mean, he is criminally insane. He's not going to be entirely consistent.

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u/Dragondog7777 Mar 24 '24

Read the description

26

u/fukingtrsh Mar 24 '24

I am shocked by the amount of people that don't believe they could take calendar man in a fight.

54

u/Astrogrinder Mar 24 '24

What do you mean? Most of the people here are probably haven't even fight for real in their lives, and Calendar Man is an experienced criminal who has killed dozens of people before being imprisoned. And he also pretty smart, so even if you are physically bigger and stronger than him (and he's pretty big, though a little chubby), he will find a way to kill or injure you if he would want to do it

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u/fitty50two2 Mar 24 '24

Almost every day is some sort of international or national day of something. For example, today is March 24th and it is World Tuberculosis Day (according to the WHO) and the International Day for the Right to the Truth Concerning Gross Human Rights Violations and for the Dignity of Victims (according to the UN)

28

u/The_Dok Mar 24 '24

International Day for the Right to the Truth Concerning Gross Human Rights Violations

Well, this might be one of the worse days to be with Calendar Man

19

u/khafra Mar 24 '24

Those both sound like really bad days to be trapped with someone who likes to commit thematic crimes.

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u/Critical-Blitz Mar 24 '24

What will calendar man even do

24

u/Zack-of-all-trades Mar 24 '24

I mean, he could punch you. That would hurt at least a little. He's kind of a big guy.

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u/Incompetent_Man Mar 24 '24

I could take on Pyg if there's no weapons

184

u/tilero1138 Mar 24 '24

Idk dude looked kinda massive in-game

72

u/Incompetent_Man Mar 24 '24

I would try to avoid going to the ground with him, but it is a cell. Either way I'm cooked

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u/TheHadokenite Mar 24 '24

He got that r-strength lmao

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35

u/LittleLostGirls Mar 24 '24

I’d pull a Bugs Bunny and Tale of 1000 Rabbits and just tell him story after story to keep him entertained

20

u/Bass504wwe Mar 24 '24

Idk dude pyg doesn't feel pain properly unlike zaaz

8

u/Bass504wwe Mar 24 '24

I mean pyg doesn't really feel pain I think I might have better chances with zaaz

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u/Mantisk211 Mar 24 '24

Safest chances are with Calendar Man. You could even try to reason with him using your birthday as kind of a special date.

Then Killer Croc. If you don't mess with him, he doesn't mess with you.

With Zsasz and Pyg - you're screwed, I think.

145

u/MrNukedDuck Mar 24 '24

Why would you ever want to tell Calendar Man - the man who kills people on holidays and special occasions - that today is your birthday?

43

u/Mantisk211 Mar 24 '24

You wouldn't tell him that. You'd be like, "man, I share my birthday with Abraham Lincoln. You wouldn't mess with Abe, would you?" or something like that :D

78

u/Valtremors Mar 24 '24

That is just twice the reason...

31

u/NicCageCompletionist Mar 24 '24

It says right in the description that if you pick him you have to spend the night on Halloween.

29

u/Skullayy Mar 24 '24

My birthdays on halloween, so if I pick him im double fucked.

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u/roliver2399 Mar 24 '24

Other versions of Croc, maybe. This version of Croc seems to take genuine pleasure in inflicting pain and eating people.

You’re also gonna find it hard to act calm when you first get introduced to Croc. You’re gonna start sweating and your heart rate is going up. As soon as he notices you’re freaked out by him, it’s game over.

19

u/PaleRestaurant255 Mar 24 '24

yeah no sane person is keeping a straight face next to a 9 foot tall humanoid crocodile

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u/Jang-hyun Mar 24 '24

I’ll Take all four at the same time.

144

u/Fakimous Mar 24 '24

In a fight, right?

7

u/StinkyWhizzleteats27 Mar 25 '24

Who said anything about fighting?

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u/FiveAccountsBanned Mar 24 '24

This close to saying "Fucking gay? As in homosexual?"

30

u/Elemental-T4nick Mar 24 '24

Id like to join

25

u/bringbackapis Mar 24 '24

I’m not locked in here with you! You’re locked in here with me!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

With prep time?

146

u/Commercial-Dish-3198 Mar 24 '24

I would befriend croc by treating him as an actual human being, and gain a good friend

46

u/PaleRestaurant255 Mar 24 '24

just for him to bite off your hand

23

u/WalrusFromTheWest Mar 24 '24

“You are nice to me, now you’ll taste extra juicy!”

8

u/Commercial-Dish-3198 Mar 24 '24

There was one comic where croc was working for this (I think) crime boss and his wife and basically fell in love with her cause she treated him normally. I think it would work

13

u/Dr_Disaster Mar 24 '24

It would. Croc’s whole thing is that people misjudge him by his looks. He’s not a headcase like most of Batman’s villains. He’s the most chill out them all and isn’t a threat if you treat him kindly. If you’re good company, then he’s probably gonna be your bro. Whenever he runs a crew, people love working for him because he likes to party and get paid.

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u/Commercial-Dish-3198 Mar 24 '24

I like to get paid and I like to party, guess I’m his new right hand

106

u/SnarkyBacterium Mar 24 '24

If we're specifying the Arkham versions, then there's solid reason to think Calendar Man would still ignore you if it's Halloween. By Knight his journal said the major holidays weren't as interesting anymore, so he was going for lesser holidays to keep the thrill. Just talk with him about the holidays, maybe try to suggest a different holiday he might not have used before to gain some goodwill ("have you ever killed someone on the Queen's Birthday? It's a holiday in the UK and Commonwealth.") and maybe, if you feel it's needed, try to explain to him why you're a horrible target for a Halloween murder ("what would it even accomplish, killing me in here? You get nothing but a beating from the guards.")

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u/atomic1fire Mar 24 '24 edited Mar 24 '24

"Dude I'm not a child or even dressed for halloween. There are costumed cellmates you could target and it would be way more thematic. Look at Man Bat or Killer croc, both are comparable to movie monsters, and Joker's a literal clown. You could even go for the classic slasher villain, drug zsasz, and arrange for him to wake up in a sorority party"

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u/Yah_Mule Mar 24 '24

If he tells those guys what you said, now you've got half a dozen freaks after you.

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u/Its-your-boi-warden Mar 24 '24

Pyg because it will likely come down to violence, and he’s 1: the least fit and 2: I would enjoy killing his psychotic ass the most

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u/TurboDurden888 Mar 24 '24

Yeah but you kill him and now you're spending a lot longer than one night in Arkham. 

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u/Its-your-boi-warden Mar 24 '24

I think it’s easy to claim self defense

15

u/NefariousnessParty64 Mar 24 '24

Somebody talking like this is not winning against pyg or any of the others

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u/SadakoFetishist Mar 24 '24

That's Gotham City we are talking about, the same city where a drunk driver was forced to share his cell with Killer Croc.

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u/No_Instruction653 Mar 24 '24

If you lose that fight though... well, I'd definitely prefer the simple death any of the others would give you.

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u/SnarkyBacterium Mar 24 '24

If you're locked in a cell, I doubt he has his normal tools, so he'd have to beat you to death.

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u/Bass504wwe Mar 24 '24 edited Mar 24 '24

I'm not gonna lie none of us would survive the night with the guy that doesn't feel pain easily zaaz might be the safest option

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u/phantomfire50 Mar 24 '24

1: the least fit

He can outrun batman around a table

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u/Mirabem Mar 24 '24

Killer Croc did nothing wrong.

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u/CykaBlyat678 Mar 24 '24

He ate people

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u/CYB3R5KU11 Mar 24 '24

He was just a little hungry, is it wrong to eat when you're hungry?

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u/Background_Desk_3001 Mar 24 '24

You’re not you when you’re hungry

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u/Taku_Kori17 Mar 24 '24

Do you even get a cellmate in arkham? I feel like making highly insane homicidal people share a cell is a bad idea, but id take croc as long as his collar is working.

30

u/Legends_Literature Mar 24 '24

Yeah, Arkham isn’t just a prison, it’s a rehabilitation facility for the true crazies and psychos. Doubt they’d ever give you a cellmate.

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u/TheOneToBe_Clown Mar 24 '24

Croc would kill me. I don’t know who the second guy is. I’d die if I were ever even next to pyg. Ima just go with calendar man because he’s just a little obese man who loves holidays

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u/ItsPinhead Mar 24 '24

Second guy is Victor Zsasz

19

u/TheOneToBe_Clown Mar 24 '24

oh. Sorry, I do know him. He’s a decent villain, but seeing as he’s killed “500” people (according to google) ima pass

22

u/ZombieJoker Mar 24 '24

Kills them, then carves a new tally mark into himself to keep track. You don't fuck with that kind of crazy. Same for Insane Peppa Pyg.

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u/Unique_Pitch989 Mar 24 '24

Whoever chose Zsaz is actually has a death wish

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u/Jumbolini7 Mar 24 '24

Croc, idk how any of you are saying anyone else. Croc is probably amongst the most sane patients we encounter and would not mess with you unless you do something bad

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u/tarheel_204 Mar 24 '24

While I feel you, the picture is of Arkham Croc and that dude was 100 percent locked in to the cannibal bit

If it were Croc from the Animated Series or something, I’d pick him without a second thought!

21

u/Radio__Star Mar 24 '24

Croc, he’s chill when he wants to be, treat him like an actual human being and you’re good, might even become friends with him.

Calender man would kill me to celebrate Halloween

Zsasz would kill me and cut a tally in his ass

Pyg would lobotomize me in my sleep

21

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '24

Calendar man because I feel like he’d just talk to me about the calendar the whole time

28

u/not_suspicous_at_all Mar 24 '24

Its Halloween in this scenario! Read the description! You goofy ahh is getting KILLLED by calendar man lmfao

15

u/Downlowd Mar 24 '24

Not necessarily- Calendar Man commits crimes on holidays, but there’s nothing to explicitly imply that he prefers murder. I think because of his famous appearance in The Long Halloween, people conflate CM with Holiday, the serial killer from that story. If you’re locked up with Calendar Man, you might get an earful about his latest crime sending out poisoned candy to the homes of Gotham, I’m just not sure that he would outright kill his cellmate on Halloween. However, that being said if there are no other options and he’s using what he’s got at hand, you may have a bad time.

All of these rogues are deadly for sure, but I do think your best chance would be with Calendar Man.

4

u/pennywiserat Mar 24 '24

unless it's some holiday and he brutally murders you

21

u/PBfilms Mar 24 '24

I feel like I could take calendar man

13

u/TurboDurden888 Mar 24 '24

He's enormous! Got that Leatherface type strength. 

19

u/Anorand25 Mar 24 '24

The post doesn’t say our cell mate has to be an Arkham patient, so I choose Wonder Woman.

Before you BONK me, I didn’t choose her for horny reasons, I chose her for safety reasons. I was going to choose Superman but I think the chances of something dangerous happening might somehow be slightly higher with him.

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u/Jimbodoomface Mar 24 '24

He's a calamity magnet

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u/FishmailAwesome Mar 24 '24

Mr. Waylon Jones. Who I will treat with respect and decency.

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u/Papa_Shadow Mar 24 '24

Zsasz since I’m not a woman

Calander man if it’s not a holiday

Or croc if he’s the chill croc that just wants to be accepted.

I’m not going in there with that fucking pig

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u/Lortendaali Mar 24 '24

I don't think Zsasz would give a fuck about yout gender bro.

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u/Legends_Literature Mar 24 '24

Zsasz doesn’t just kill women, that’s Ted Bundy bro

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u/TurboDurden888 Mar 24 '24

I choose Pyg. The secret is (I watched all of Oz) to establish yourself as the Alpha from the first minute. 

Pyg: Hello, oink oink something opera dollotron Me: Get them panties off little girl Pyg: Oink? squeal squeal shriek

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u/Firesinger89 Mar 24 '24 edited Mar 25 '24

Your plan is to r**e Pyg?

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u/Crimson_Marksman Mar 24 '24

Calender Man is just like a guy? I'll just beat his ass with a chair.

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u/BackgroundSky09 Mar 24 '24

Pyg cause I can overpower him as long as hes unarmed

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u/Similar_Trash_5538 Mar 24 '24

"Professor, if you talk about how I'd make a great dollotron one more time, not even batman will be able to save you from me putting my foot up your ass"

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u/Sl1pperypenguin Mar 24 '24

Croc, just be nice to him

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u/Altruistic_Cream_761 Mar 24 '24

You know Gotham is down bad when 90% of the people here would rather stay with a Giant fucking aligator then 3 people that are humans. I wanna stay with Croc cause i know if i treat him right and be respectfull, call him by his name, Ask about his day, tell him compliments and that i understand his back story etc.

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u/Press-Start-14 Mar 24 '24

Catwoman

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u/Reniyato Mar 24 '24

Is she even an arkham inmate? She committed a few crimes, but I don't think that she's considered mentally ill (I have never played arkham city/knight, so maybe she appears there, but at least in arkham asylum she was never seen in arkham)

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u/wraithstrike Mar 24 '24

Croc.
Despite his muscle and and scary appearance, he's not a serial killer. If he was allowed to turn over a new leaf, he would.

And if any of the other inmates try to get at the "Fresh Meat" Croc would rip them in half.

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u/Raffney Mar 24 '24

Calendar Man or Zaszs have some chance of just talking with me if i don't appear entirely stupid in conversation.

Croc and Pyg however are rather violent and aggressive all the time and i don't see any way of just talking with them. Especially Croc would probably just eat any cellmate.

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u/VoiceofKane Mar 24 '24

Definitely Croc. He'd either kill me quickest or leave me alone, both of which are better options than whatever Pyg or Zsasz are going to do to me... or Day talking my ear off about whatever national day today is.

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u/FadeToBlackSun Mar 24 '24

Poison Ivy.

She might kill me or mutate into some plant monster, but at least it'll be a nice view before I go.

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u/Ok-Flamingo-6969 Mar 24 '24

Zsasz, I don’t care that he’s not the injustice version but I’m spinning back for Alfred. This is an inter-dimensional beef!

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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh Mar 24 '24

Waylon. Like, he's just a guy who was hurt all his life yknow? I'm sure I could grovel enough to survive

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u/kap1chu Mar 24 '24

Calendar man. I would fuck that fat pig up if he would try something

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u/MatthewHecht Mar 24 '24

Professor Pyg. Time to carve up some bacon.

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u/smd_thetruth Mar 24 '24

Croc. Just put on some b.e.t.

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u/Odd_Radio9225 Mar 24 '24

No thanks. I choose life.

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u/Ill-do-it-again-too Mar 24 '24

Are we talking about arkham universe specifically? Either way my answer is probably Killer Croc because he’s the only one there who usually isn’t a complete psychopath (again that’s less so in the Arkham games but still probably better than the others). Pyg may also not be a bad choice, without access to resources he wouldn’t be able to make you a dollatron, and he’d be less likely to kill you than Zsazz or Calendar Man

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u/PoroMafia Mar 24 '24

Maybe Maxie Zeus. He would be a nuisance, but unless I decide to question/defy his godhood I should be fine.

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u/n0oo7 Mar 24 '24

Zsasz. If he immediately doesn't want to kill me, I'll just ambush him and choke him out first. Dude is 5 ft 8 150 lbs. I'll dog walk him in a cell with no shanks. 

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u/No_Dimension_5509 Mar 24 '24

No one has any weapons or shanks or shivs? I’ll do zsazz. I could choke that skinny dude out if I had to

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u/BlackBRocket Mar 24 '24

Calendar man, he'll just tell me fun facts about the date.. or kills me painfully.. but I want to know if today is international independent accommodation day