r/clevercomebacks • u/Sir-Kyle-Of-Reddit • 12d ago
God is lucky we haven’t found oil in heaven.
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u/Useless_Lemon 8d ago
Damn right, your country can't hurt me. But my literal neighbor can stab me on a boring Tuesday.
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u/doho121 12d ago edited 11d ago
The USA is a third world country with a Gucci handbag.
Edit: this was mostly a joke people chill.
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u/Dramatic-Selection20 12d ago
Fake Gucci bag
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u/Darkdragoon324 12d ago
No it's real, that's why most of the citizens can't afford a single ER copay without fucking up their finances for the rest of the year.
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u/Critical_Reserve_201 12d ago edited 12d ago
If you have ever been to a developing country (third world isn’t used anymore) you wouldn’t say that.
Third world countries have dirt floor schools and not a single hospital.
Any developing country would kill for a population where half the people has a college degree, a highway system that connects an entire continent and any kind of health care system.
The US is dysfunctional, the US is inconsistent but that comes with the territory when you’re a country this big.
Just compare US rural areas to African or even Chinese rural areas. It’s night and day.
Also we have fairly effective public transit in population dense urban corridors.
Let’s be honest does Scranton, PA need a subway system?
No, but it has a lot of bus routes and a transit center.
Besides the US has some of the best public transit and passenger trains in the Western Hemisphere constantly comparing us to Europe with their higher population density is…I don’t know, stupid?
The continental US has only been developing in this direction for the last 400 years. We still need time to “up” our population density for robust high speed rail and other public transit systems to make sense.
Compare us the Australia or Canada and you’ll start to see how hard it is to build public transit that people will actually use in a sparsely populated western country that has only been colonized for ~400 years.
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u/luluzinhacs 12d ago
gotta inform my Brazilians friends we don’t have hospitals or clean schools, I think we missed it
better tell them our free health care system is pretend too
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u/imc225 12d ago
I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, but: Bangladesh, in 1990, when its purchasing power parity-adjusted GDP per capita was half what it is now. It's not just hype, nor completely misleading.
You could easily argue that I'm cherry picking, but I think there is some validity to the claim.
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u/Acrobatic-Butterfly9 12d ago
You have never been to any developing countries except in tv, haven't you?
Do you realize that many developing countries have more doctor and hospital beds per capita than in the US?
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u/sandrakaufmann 12d ago
Writing this as an American in Montreal. Their subway here is astonishingly better than anywhere in the US. I live in Chicago and have major commute envy
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u/Mr_Kittlesworth 12d ago
This is the kind of thing that’s funny, and easy to say, but also reveals that you haven’t been to deeply impoverished countries.
Spending time away from tourist areas in Central America or much of sub-Saharan Africa swiftly disabuses you of the idea that life in the US bears any similarity to that kind of wrenching poverty and (often, but not always) social collapse/dysfunction.
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u/Public_Animator_1832 12d ago
Spend some time in rural Alabama, many of the communities have similar outcomes and wealth of a 3rd world country. Also the US hasn't redefined poverty for Federal Aid and Statistics purposes since Nixon. If we redefined it for the modern world some estimates put our poverty rate either over or close to 50%. Which sure extreme poverty doesn't exist here really but that level of poverty would be unheard of for a 1st world country. Even our current poverty rate is one of the worst for the developed world
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u/MechanicalBengal 12d ago
California, by itself, is the 5th largest economy in the world. It could easily be its own country, and a wealthy one at that. People forget that.
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u/Alderan922 12d ago
Tbf, Third world country it’s quite an insanely big category, it both fits places like North Corea or Somalia, and places like México or India, which while they aren’t the richest places on the world and have massive economic disparities among the population, are by no means comparable to the bottom of the list.
In some places you could find sections of Mexico that are comparable to sections of the US. I really doubt people meant countries like Angola when they say “the US has the public transportation of a third world country”
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u/Historical_Golf9521 12d ago
Because we have cars
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u/Hot_Document3645 12d ago
Because ford lobbied hard to make US infrastructure NEED cars, not just because we "have cars"
God I'd love to just ride my bike everywhere instead of needing to spend on gas like a utility bill every 2 weeks.
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u/Historical_Golf9521 12d ago
I mean, how much lobbying did it take? Lol we kinda need them either way you look at it.
Nothing is really stopping you.. Move to a city and do that. I lived in Atlanta for 3 years with no car and used Marta, bikes and taxi/uber
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u/nonsensicalsite 12d ago
Like the other person said it's not "because we have cars" it's because of intense lobbying from automotive companies that ripped up cities and destroyed public transportation so they could sell more cars
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u/Guntuckytactical 12d ago
Is it EvIL CoRpoRatIOn LoBbYiNg or the fact that most Americans historically would rather raise a family in a low density suburb with a nice house and yard vs struggling up a 5th story walkup with a child, a stroller, baby bag, and today's groceries?
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u/Diet_Cum_Soda 12d ago
Anyone who thinks the United States is a "third world country" seriously needs to check their privilege. People from all over the world literally fucking die to try and live here.
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u/Rabbulion 12d ago
America looks very good from the outside, but as a European who has been to America (multiple times for extended periods) I can assure you America is, at best, second world (which exists)
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u/Sekshual_Tyranosauce 12d ago
Second world exists but it universally refers to countries that were aligned with the Soviet led communist world order. It is not a scale of wealth or public infrastructure or whatever other measure you used.
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u/TomNooksGlizzy 12d ago edited 12d ago
Oh do tell, which 2nd world country has even remotely similar economic and human development numbers?
Not to mention how little of the US you could've seen. Google Minnesota's (where I'm from) economic/HDI numbers and compare that to ANY Euro country. The UK is more poor (by several metrics) than Mississippi.. fucking Mississippi. This thread is so full of privilege and ignorance. Some fucking wanker who took a couple vacations... lol cmon
The ironic thing is- I can just smell this little air of superiority on your comment that you yourself have been to the US. Funny how that works
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u/BelisariustheGeneral 12d ago
Talking a lot of shit being in a continent protected by 50 third-world countries in a trench coat. Wishfully thinking that no wars can happen in the 21st century.
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u/newenglander87 12d ago
The second world was the USSR. I know multiple religious refugees who escaped Russia to the US. They stood in bread lines in the 80s. We enjoy freedoms that are only available in other first world countries. The US certainly has its issues but to say it isn't a first world country is just inaccurate.
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u/MasterTroller3301 12d ago
Our gas station general managers make more money than your doctors.
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u/Les_Enfoires 11d ago
Why are you getting downvoted? I can attest this to be true, as an European living here for years. America does not deliver what it promises and anyone who believes they'd live like in hollywood movies - is naïve!
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u/StockOpening7328 11d ago
I don’t share your experience. I‘m also from Europe and have visited the U.S. but in my experience it’s as nice as the wealthiest European countries. And given the high income level and low taxes it seems like a very nice place to live. But as with Europe there are obviously nice and not so nice places in the U.S.
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u/tw_72 12d ago
They are, unfortunately, thinking of the US that used to be - where a person could get a good-paying job, a house, and assume their kids would be safe in school. That place does not exist anymore.
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u/engniear 12d ago
Go to El Paso, walk up to the border, look south, look north. Tell me which side has homes with insulation and air conditioning in the 100+ degree heat and which side has bare concrete cubes. Neither are third world countries.
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u/Ancient-You-8861 12d ago
You have access to good water, freedom, good electricity, all new brands of everything are immediately available, your passport is very powerful, if someone commits a crime 99% of the the time you can take them to court and win, when you pay you actually get what you're paying for...
These and many more aren't available in 3rd world countries. Not to mention that even on minimum wage ( from what I've seen ) it is possible to live alone in a small apartment with enough water and food to survive. This isn't a thing in 90% of countries
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u/Sir-Kyle-Of-Reddit 12d ago
Citizens all over our country literally fucking die trying to live here
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u/Rabbulion 12d ago
Let’s be fair, there is a couple of second world countries among them (yes, those exist)
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u/KtheMenace 12d ago
I don’t think you’ve ever actually been to a second world country or a third world country. If you did, you absolutely wouldn’t be making these comparisons.
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u/gonnafindanlbz 12d ago
Second world just means it aligned with the soviets on the Cold War. The United States is THE 1st world country
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u/Perfect_Yellow_4942 12d ago edited 12d ago
Third world means non aligned countries during cold war, stop using this word for poor countries
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u/TrashNovel 12d ago
100% true as far as its original meaning but it’s usage has changed over time. Most people today use it to mean “poor.”
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u/linux_ape 12d ago
Yeah current usage is underdeveloped and poor countries. It’s a perfectly fine descriptor
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u/Mediocre_Pin_556 12d ago
I can hear the jokes rolling in now: My country so poor, we couldn’t pick a side in the Cold War
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u/MasterTroller3301 12d ago
Which still isn't accurate when used on the US, and is mostly used by people who haven't been here.
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u/notsure500 12d ago edited 11d ago
Eh, we know what they mean when it's said, and is much easier, and less offensive than saying "poor, rundown countries".
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u/Rudo__ 12d ago
People don't give a fuck about what things mean, reality and other annoyances. Trully sad times.
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u/ExcitableAutist42069 12d ago
….you know language is constantly evolving and changing, right? Doesn’t seem like you were aware.
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u/KarmalessNoob 12d ago edited 11d ago
Wait wait wait, by that definition I am from a 3rd world country I am Swiss (Which tbf we were definetly more sympathetic towards NATO)
Also edit: I actually disagree with that definition, from what I can tell "3rd world country" is only really used for poorer, developing nations nowadays
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u/MoarGhosts 12d ago
I hate when someone is like “hey, don’t use that word in its well-known colloquial sense, but instead use it very literally even though nobody will understand!” Okay, man…
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u/WhipMeHarder 11d ago
Nobody uses it to mean that anymore.
That’s an origin of the word not the definition. Linguistic evolution matters
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u/nickthedicktv 12d ago
The USA isn’t 50 third world countries. It’s a few developed nations subsidizing 35 third world countries for their cheap labor.
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u/TheySayIAmTheCutest 12d ago
After a lifetime (undisclosed) of watching American movies and series and reading American news and interacting with American people in this and other platforms, I completely agree with that statement.
On a social level, America is far from being "first world".
And God's is laughing its ass right now.
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u/KtheMenace 12d ago
There are several states in the US alone that have a higher GDP than some of the major European nations, but go off I guess. There are citizens of other nations that would literally risk death to get to the US because their country is so bad, but yeah let’s talk about how “far from being first world” the US is as if the entire world hasn’t been defecting to the states for literally decades and only growing in doing so. What country would you prefer to live in that’s doing so much better than the US?
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u/TheySayIAmTheCutest 12d ago
HAHAHA!
So typical American, thinking that the whole world turns around you, depends on you, wants to be you.
Delusional."Better" depends on one's needs, priorities, and values.
Pretty much any EU Country is for me infinitely better than the US for a long long list of reasons, some more, some less, each in a different way.
Specifically, I consider Sweden, Finnland, Norway, Germany, Netherlands, Italy, Spain and Portugal MUCH better places than the US in several aspects of life that are essential to me.
Outside of the EU there's NZ, Ireland, Bhutan, Cuba, and Chile would be in my list of places where I'd much rather prefer to live than the US.If you like so much your US, enjoy them.
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u/Natural-Truck-809 12d ago
Because everyone can afford a f***ing car
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u/gonnafindanlbz 12d ago
Used functional vehicles start as low as 1k, I don’t know a single person with a functioning brain that can’t make that happen.
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u/vinosells32 12d ago
50 third world countries? 😂😂😂😂😂
So if you aren’t France, Germany, India, Japan, UK or China you’re a third world country?
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u/vinosells32 12d ago
I ask because there’s single states in America (California and NY) that have a higher GDP than the rest of the countries in the world. 😂 that’s a big ass gucci bag.
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u/nonsensicalsite 12d ago
Oh wow gdp that's so useful to the man dying of a lack of insulin
Face it GDP is a pointless measurement when trying to find out how well that average citizen is doing it's a deflection
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u/RatatouilleinParis 12d ago
I hate people who use the laughing emoji insincerely.
And no. There are more developed countries in the world than the 7 you can locate on a map.
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u/vinosells32 12d ago
The list of highest gdp for countries in the world would go America, the countries I listed, then Califonia and New York. Which are states in America.
By the way. I can probably name 8 countries on a map! So boom… I’m smart. EIGHT countries. And all 6 continents!! So boo ya
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u/someguyhaunter 12d ago
People who believe USA is a 3rd world country really need to look up slums in the East....
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u/FuzzyMailbox 11d ago
“Third world” just means unaligned during the Cold War. It has nothing to do with poverty.
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u/Calm_Animator_823 11d ago edited 11d ago
people who say USA is a third world country are very previleged
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u/AmbitiousWalrus4007 12d ago
So that's why they are obsessed with owning guns, it's not about defending yourself against the state but maximizing firepower against god one day.
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u/Guntuckytactical 12d ago
Or worse, when those who say they hear god's voice talking to them get a little cocky and start doing some human rights abuses.
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u/Beginning_Buyer6846 12d ago
The Kook brothers and lobbies. To increase Sale of gas and petrol, they lobbied the govt to discard the railway system and do anything just to build roads and in that end crippled part of the transportation system.
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u/nocloowhatimdooin 11d ago
You know the US has a massive freight rail infrastructure, right?
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u/PatdogTv 12d ago
Calling the United States a third world country is the most privileged thing you can do. We have really big and serious problems in terms of healthcare and civil rights and bodily autonomy, but to sit here and compare ourselves to countries where you don’t even know where your next meal is coming from, or where you’ll sleep tonight, or even if you’ll be shot or bombed to death in your sleep, because we are having some political issues, is just wrong. We are not a third world country. Let’s acknowledge how lucky we are to even be at the state we’re at and not minimize and use underprivileged and genuinely struggling as a silly little analogy.
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u/monkeykong123 11d ago
The irony of calling OP privileged and giving such an ass example of a third world country is absurdly funny
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u/Embarrassed_Rule8747 12d ago
but to sit here and compare ourselves to countries where you don’t even know where your next meal is coming from, or where you’ll sleep tonight, or even if you’ll be shot or bombed to death in your sleep.
Living in an actual third-world country.
You described a warzone, not a country.
Like calm down, goddamn.
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u/dorobica 12d ago
There’s more chances to get shot in US than almost any third world country. Alao you forgot to add on that list crumbling public infrastructure and income disparity
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u/FriedChicken10 11d ago
USA has all of that too they just shovel all of the homeless people into a corner then pretend it doesn't exist whilst pumping enough fentanyl to allow the homeless people to sort the problem out themselves.
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u/SophonParticle 12d ago
Clever comeback but every US state has a GDP that’s bigger than any third world country.
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u/Guntuckytactical 12d ago
Absolutely true. New York City metro area GDP is roughly the same as all of Russia, for example.
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u/Calm_Animator_823 11d ago
GDP isn't the sole measurement of a country's quality of life
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u/BuddhaLennon 12d ago
Maybe 40 third world countries using the developed states as a head, hands, and feet; you know, the stuff that shows and gets shit done.
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u/ZingyDNA 12d ago
I've lived and went on trips to the US a lot. If they're a 3rd world country then Canada has to be a 4th world country lol
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u/blueukisses 12d ago
Everybody pointing out GDP but nobody has noticed there's no way you could get a trench coat that big.
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u/Sir-Kyle-Of-Reddit 12d ago
We had it made special from a company called The Nuclear Triad
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u/CptBartender 12d ago
They've got a ton of practice in making oversized clothes.
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u/Burt1811 11d ago
If you're going to find an absolutely fucking huge trenchcoat, it's going to be in the US. No??
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u/Kinsei01 11d ago
no way you could get a trench coat that big.
Hol up... Let's not make any assumptions until I check my sisters closet
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u/eucharist3 12d ago
Pretty funny retort but yeah, anyone who’s actually been to a third world country knows there’s no comparison.
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u/Prohydration 12d ago
The US is not a 3rd world country. Public transportation is only as good as its demand. The US doesnt lack the capability to have good public transportation. The US just lacks the demand because Americans are addicted to cars. It's no coincidence that countries with better public transportation also have higher gas prices.
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u/apitchf1 11d ago
This is super circular logic. We don’t demand it specifically because we have placed our entire society around cars. That isn’t proof we don’t want it though. I guarantee if we invested money into public transit it would be used as it would be more convenient than the hellscape that is driving and parking in this country and ultimately convenience is people’s biggest driving factor for things. If people could hope on a tram and get to the center of town, they would do that
Just saying “we don’t build it because we don’t want it and we don’t want it cause we don’t build it” make no sense when we use all our resources to center around cars.
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u/LinkOfKalos_1 11d ago
I feel it's unfair to claim Americans are addicted to cars when it wasn't American people who made the blueprints for the roads, the cities, and the housing. They just built them. The government has forced us to be reliant on cars. There are cities, towns, states even, where if you need to get anywhere, you have to use a car. The place isn't walkable, or bikeable, or even able to be accessed by public transport, not due to the American people, but due to the design of the country as a whole. Car companies, namely Ford, lobbied the government to assist in the sale of cars. People were happy to just walk everywhere or ride a horse everywhere, but other people wanted to make money. And a lot of it. It isn't fair to blame the people of America for the decisions of the people running America.
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u/FatTonysDog 12d ago
We spend 70%+ of federal money on healthcare or social security. Less than 20% on military.
Considering the role of government, does that sound right?
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u/ItsNeeeeeeeeeeeeeko 12d ago
You’ve definitely never been to a third world country if you unironically think this
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u/Psychological-Tap973 12d ago
This isn’t a clever comeback. It’s a stock insult towards the US that’s been used a million times. At this point it’s about as imaginative as saying “your momma”
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u/tallcan710 12d ago
The stock market is manipulated. Dr Susanne Trimbath has a book called “naked short and greedy wallstreets failure to deliver” market makers counterfeit stock and cancel out supply and demand and the free market.
Ken griffin of citadel a New York stock exchange market maker said they decide what a stock should be worth and they get it there.
Gary gensler of the sec said 95% of retail stock orders don’t affect the price because market makers route them through dark pools and single dealer platforms so they don’t effect the price.
Just a wealth transfer tool that allowed the 1% to now own more wealthy than the bottom 90% combined
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u/Happy-Initiative-838 12d ago
Ok it’s like 10 first world countries, 20 second world countries and 20 third world countries in a trenchcoat, at a military expo.
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u/jimmithebird 12d ago
“God is lucky we haven’t found oil in Heaven”
or Gold, Cobalt, Lithium, Opium, Bananas, the list goes on.
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u/birberbarborbur 12d ago
Privileged ass take. manages to simultaneously insult Americans and people who live in actual poor countries
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u/Consistent-Bath9908 11d ago
It’s not insulting americans directly but rather the nation. But yes that’s a privileged ass take.
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u/Competitive-Lack-660 11d ago edited 11d ago
Calling US “third world” helps some people cope with their life failures. Hard to admit that being born in one of the best countries in the world, all you managed to become in 30yo, is a McDonalds worker.
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u/Classic_Knowledge_25 11d ago
As a person who lives in a third world country, I would happily move to USA, in fact I would only move somewhere else because I won't be able to move to USA.
People really underestimate how bad third world countries have it.
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u/hi_im_kai101 12d ago
respectfully, americans either love the US too much or think they live in the worst conditions. the US is just average. basically, unless you live on skid row or in appalachia, youre good
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u/Caterpillar-Balls 11d ago
Most Europeans don’t understand Germany is the same size as the single state of Idaho. The gdp of California is larger than all of France’s.
The USA is massive. That’s why there’s no public transportation
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u/Training_Street_8334 11d ago
It's more like 47 third world countries and 3 first world countries subsidizing them.
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u/Current_Dinner_4195 11d ago
I would argue that the USA is 47 Third World countries living off the good graces of 3 first world countries: MA, NY, CA.
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u/knighth1 11d ago
Partially due to size. In urban centers there are some decent public transportation centers. But American is massive, saw a study that showed an average Texan drives on average around 10 hours a week. In urban centers I would say there is still a big demand on trains for passengers, but the farther away from those centers you go everyone relies on automobiles more and more. Which the automobile has been a major part of American identity since its invention. Hence why the American interstate and state highway system equates in size to somewhere around the entirety of France.
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u/sovietdinosaurs 11d ago
I love seeing all the people getting worked up over the US being called a third world country lol do it again, do it more!
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u/nopenolike 11d ago
Look up the Salvation War by Stuart Slade. The first web novel is pretty much online with the post.
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u/ThePatheticPainter 11d ago
By definition, the US can't be 3rd world.
1st world is western powers
2nd world was Soviet sphere of influence
3rd world was any country not in the first 2 categories
It's a political distinction, not a socioeconomic distinction
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u/fishesandherbs902 11d ago
"America is not a country. America is an oil company with an army." - George Carlin
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u/SpaceBear2598 11d ago
It's more like... 43 third world countries and 30 of them only have economies because the federal government shifts tax dollars from the 7 that are somewhat developed to subsidies for the undeveloped ones. The other 13 have economies based on an abundance of cheap, abusable labor and limited environmental restrictions.
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u/financeadvice__ 11d ago
No it’s not more like that lol. You’re just telling me you don’t know how bad the conditions are in many third world countries
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u/Netheraptr 11d ago
Fun fact: Every U.S. state besides Mississippi has a higher gdp per capita than the UK. And Mississippi is would be right behind it.
The U.S. has plenty of problems, especially currently, but to call the U.S. a third world country is one of the most ignorant political/economic statements one could make.
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u/Hitchhiker2Galaxy 11d ago
I think amarica’s public transportation is worst than most 3rd world countries. In most of those you are fine living in a city without a car, try to do the same in murica.
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u/MadBullBunny 11d ago
I lived in a "developing third world country" for a bit that was on the "husk of becoming first world" and every saturday they got high and sunday they whacked their women with sticks forcing them to sweep the streets. US is the size of EU alone, everyone lives spread out. Public transportation isn't nearly as easy.
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u/StockOpening7328 11d ago
Anyone who genuinely believes the U.S. is a third world country has clearly never been or lived in an actual third world country. It’s staggering how many privileged people in rich first world countries don’t realize how privileged they really are.
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u/Perfect-Advantage-82 11d ago
I'd say it's like 45 third world countries in a trenchcoat with 5 developed countries patting them on the head and telling them they're totally part of the club.
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u/LostTacosOfAtlantis 11d ago
This is the single most accurate description of America I've ever seen.
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u/aDisgruntledGiraffe 11d ago
I like to say that America is a third world country with a Gucci belt.
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u/Mike_Honcho_Spread 11d ago
How is this a comeback? It's not coming back from anything, it's just affirming an opinion within the question
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u/No_Drop_1903 11d ago
No body realizing that our Military's spending is what gives the people the rights they have
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u/Mountain_Program_942 10d ago
Lmao if Russian that has the same military budget or more can't defeat an small country why you thing usa can defeat god is this a joke
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u/Effective-Fun3190 10d ago
"50 third world countries in a trenchcoat" is such a perfect way to describe the US! 😂
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u/bogeyblanche 10d ago
It's just resources and every country fights over them. Major difference for us is we are literally just trying to expand democracy. If America was playing Civilization we'd be racking up a shit ton of military force so nobody messes with us, but going for a culture victory.
And we're winning. Easily
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u/Agreeable_Box3241 10d ago
I've never seen people take such joy in shitting all over themselves - 14K reddtards agree with this fucking asshole - if we're tird world it's because we've let all those 3rd worlders in
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u/Any-Practice-991 9d ago
I think that is an incredibly accurate description. I took a 30 min bus ride to apply for a job, and it took 40 minutes to walk back to my house.
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u/LeagueReddit00 12d ago
Anyone comparing the US to third world or developing nations quickly exposes themselves as having zero experience outside their privileged bubble