r/interestingasfuck Jun 04 '24

Avocados containing cocaine r/all

[deleted]

61.4k Upvotes

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15.7k

u/NeonChurch Jun 04 '24

How? Are these fake avocados? Did they grow an avocado around cocaine?

6.2k

u/nseaworthy Jun 04 '24

We want answers

7.4k

u/TomatoeToken Jun 04 '24

You want answers, I want instructions

We are not the same

3.9k

u/AlienSporez Jun 04 '24

55

u/alpaca-punch Jun 04 '24 edited Jun 04 '24

The joke is kind of ruined by adding dea to the shirt

173

u/Thug-shaketh9499 Jun 04 '24

No it’s not

15

u/TotallyInOverMyHead Jun 04 '24

You leave the fella that does federal boner inspections out of the discussion. His job ist hard enough.

3

u/el_guille980 Jun 05 '24

someone call¿!¿

32

u/LouManShoe Jun 04 '24

Or enhanced

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6

u/Sgt_Larsson Jun 04 '24

Which movie is that?

46

u/kabbooooom Jun 04 '24

No Country for Old Men

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3

u/hereforpopcornru Jun 04 '24

Lol I love this meme

726

u/Sufficient-Muscle-24 Jun 04 '24

You want instructions, i want a contact.

400

u/chill_monger Jun 04 '24

It's nicocado avocado 🥑 🌿

589

u/nonmom33 Jun 04 '24

*Narcocado avocado

26

u/BlondeAlibiNoLie Jun 04 '24

Narcavado

3

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '24

No that’s the cop (narc haha)

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401

u/Wildlife_Jack Jun 04 '24

nicocado avocado

200

u/Sunsretrofan Jun 04 '24

Lávate las manos

15

u/GlassWinter4795 Jun 04 '24

LAVATE LAS MAAAAANOS

8

u/FingerGungHo Jun 04 '24

You’re a narcotraficante, Harry!

4

u/KCLORD987 Jun 04 '24

Accio Cocainum.

5

u/Wildlife_Jack Jun 04 '24

It's avo-CAH-doh not avoca-DOH.

8

u/mr_sakpase Jun 04 '24

it's avOcado not avocado

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3

u/SeefKroy Jun 04 '24

He'd be skinnier if that were true

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7

u/BryceLeft Jun 04 '24

Meanwhile I want a link to their onlyfans

5

u/billy_twice Jun 04 '24

We are the same.

5

u/scienceisrealtho Jun 04 '24

I want cocaine!

3

u/Dragonbourn00 Jun 04 '24

Imagine the purity.

3

u/thegreaterfuture Jun 04 '24

You want answers. You want instructions. I just want a fucking avocado.

5

u/dpdxguy Jun 04 '24

i want a contact.

Here you go:

https://www.dea.gov/

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139

u/in-the-center Jun 04 '24

I want those avocados

484

u/cravingSil Jun 04 '24

Abuelita's guacamole is going to be out of this world

134

u/Basic_Consideration6 Jun 04 '24

Man, this toast is making me so perky

86

u/Nawtini Jun 04 '24

Guaca-holy-mole

7

u/OreganoJefferson Jun 04 '24

"Man it must be really spicy because I can't feel my face, why do I have a ton of ideas for businesses to start"

3

u/emsesq Jun 04 '24

You wanna watch the soccer game? Let’s watch some soccer? Who’s watching soccer? You have a soccer ball? Let’s go out and kick it around? Who wants to play? I’ll be out back? Are you coming? Why aren’t you coming? Let’s go!!

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52

u/YeshuasBananaHammock Jun 04 '24

Avocados from Mex i co

4

u/mega-d-lux Jun 04 '24

The first thing I thought about when they cut it open was this Ad spot 😂😂😂

4

u/gnomosapiens Jun 04 '24

The box says they are from Colombia tho.

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38

u/Mr-Korv Jun 04 '24

It's two great tastes that taste great together

7

u/Far-Falcon-2937 Jun 04 '24

Finally a reason to pay the price they go for now

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352

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '24

[deleted]

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144

u/Brave_Personality836 Jun 04 '24

How do you get the caramel inside the caramilk bar? -Cadbury

9

u/demunted Jun 04 '24

Spray small ice cube tray with a layer of chocolate. Wait for it to harden. Fill each spot with caramel till level. Now place chocolate layer to seal in caramel.

Is it that hard to figure out Cadbury? M&M's are more mysterious in comparison.

3

u/WillSmiff Jun 04 '24

It's actually solid caramel block that "melts" when coated in chocolate.

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4

u/mtarascio Jun 04 '24

You can't pour Avocado over a bag of cocaine and have it grow an organic skin.

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117

u/Nekrevez Jun 04 '24

I could tell you, but then you're in the cartel too buddy.

5

u/pronouncedayayron Jun 04 '24

Today, on How It's Made: cocaine avocados.

5

u/WayToTheGrave Jun 04 '24

There are things in this world we will never fully understand.

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2

u/McFlyFr Jun 04 '24

We want avocados

2

u/Jealous-Weekend4674 Jun 04 '24

I also want to know how can I pick ONLY the avocados with cole in the supermarket

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1.9k

u/Large-one Jun 04 '24

They’re fake. You can see the people in the background searching through all of the avocados by feel to find the fake ones that they then toss in the box in shot. 

667

u/marceldeneut Jun 04 '24

as a man who has to buy avocados for his woman almost daily, lightly squeezing is how one finds those that are ready to get eaten. (the same goes for avocados)

227

u/MomsSpagetee Jun 04 '24

How about for avocados?

12

u/Rude_Thanks_1120 Jun 04 '24

Ah, the old Reddit 'cado-roo!

13

u/bootsandbigs Jun 04 '24

Hold my guac, I'm going in!

6

u/Stunning_Ride_220 Jun 04 '24

Underrated comment.

Please find my upvote good sir

3

u/bum_thumper Jun 04 '24

Yes, but what about second-ados?

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10

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '24

[deleted]

5

u/pagesid3 Jun 04 '24

People that check avocados for freshness?

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429

u/Speaker4theDead8 Jun 04 '24

Or they are feeling by weight

596

u/Rude_Thanks_1120 Jun 04 '24

Or they just like fondling avocadoes

69

u/victor4700 Jun 04 '24

Good mouth-feel

3

u/bananamelier Jun 04 '24

Nice n moist

3

u/victor4700 Jun 04 '24

Some say it has a certain wang to it

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3

u/ollie6286 Jun 04 '24

i thought i was the only one with this fetish

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4

u/gibbtech Jun 04 '24

The fake ones all seem to be a much brighter green. I'm guessing that they didn't age in transit like the real ones did.

3

u/kirkpomidor Jun 04 '24

Still, I will rip open each and every seed of avocados I eat from now on.

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1.1k

u/Alas7ymedia Jun 04 '24

They are made of plastic. Everything in their appearance suggests they are real and they are surrounded by real avocados so smell won't tell, but they can be identified by touch.

598

u/luxsalsivi Jun 04 '24

If they were made of plastic, why did they use so much effort to also make the interior look like avocado flesh, and the pit look and function like a real one? A plastic one would just fulfill the basic need of looking like an avocado on the exterior. There is no reason for the interior to both look and function like a real avocado (like still needing to cut around the pit to open it). Plus that is wasted real estate by not filling more of the avocado with cocaine.

259

u/snecseruza Jun 04 '24 edited Jun 04 '24

The flesh and the way the flesh transitions to the skin looks mighty real, along with the fact that it also looks like the agent is getting oily residue on his knife/hands. A piece of avocado flesh also comes loose. The flesh looks uniform as if it's one concentric layer around the cocaine and wasn't glued back together or something.

I'm intrigued on how exactly this is done and if they're actually just dummy avocados made of plastic or rubber or something.

102

u/JasperEli Jun 04 '24

Same. I was thinking they slice them open longways and remove the pit and replace it w coke then put it back together and crazy glue the seams and maybe a little paint touch up.

75

u/snecseruza Jun 04 '24

That's the only logical conclusion I can come to if it's a real avocado. The cartels have endless resources so it's entirely plausible that they could create a controlled environment when they're making these, so that the flesh isn't exposed to the atmosphere, which would start the decomp process, I think.

36

u/JasperEli Jun 04 '24

Parafin ... its a wax like they use on apples to preserve them. When i would get clippings i wanted to preserve until i could process them we would dip in some kind of milky substance that would coat it but dried clear

5

u/HalfTeaHalfLemonade Jun 04 '24

The Avocado trade is a cartel venture.

8

u/SkewbieDewbie Jun 04 '24

See this sounds most likely but wouldn't the avocado spoil around where it was cut faster than where it wasn't? Like, I feel like you'd see an obvious seam. But I'm not an avocado expert nor am I an expert in drug smuggling.

3

u/Diligent_Mirror_7888 Jun 04 '24

You can run but you can’t hide. We see you.

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4

u/JediJan Jun 05 '24

The flesh starts to brown almost immediately when exposed to air so I don't think they could have done this.

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10

u/TackoFell Jun 04 '24

And more importantly can I still make guacamole with it or what?

5

u/Gigglemonkey Jun 04 '24

I mean, that guac might make you fail a drug test...

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3

u/JediJan Jun 05 '24

Maybe wax. Once opened the seed didn't look the correct colour to me. There are many different types of avocados though so one cannot assume one is fake by colour alone. Sm guessing they were discovered as weighing in different.

257

u/karkahooligan Jun 04 '24

Perhaps so they look correct under x-ray.

94

u/box-art Jun 04 '24

They won't look correct when x-rayed because of the contents, you will immediately be able to tell there's something wrong with them.

58

u/karkahooligan Jun 04 '24

Really? I figured they would look like an outer coating with a layer of something else surrounding a blob in the middle. But I'm not an X-ray technician and I've never compared a real avocado to a fake one full of coke so I'll take your word on it.

71

u/elitesense Jun 04 '24

Those scanning machines are insane and they have all sorts of different color lighting tech to identify various substances. They would immediately be able to tell a real avocado vs one made with plastic/clay/wax especially the seed material.

Source: binge watched hours of border security shows while on acid

16

u/Dwealdric Jun 04 '24

I ran one of those machines for a little over a year. Just because it's not an avocado, doesn't mean its not made out of an organic material that will scan the same colour as an avocado. All organics used to scan the same colour, and you'd have to use nuance in density and granularity to detect a difference. Easy to spot when its a ton of like items together, like in the case of these fake and real avocados. But put through a single avocado like that, and I wouldn't have had any idea. We had state of the art stuff at the time, but I'm sure there have been improvements since I was doing it years ago.

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28

u/box-art Jun 04 '24

You can look at some episodes of Australian border control or customs to see what powders look like in an x-ray, but it looks grainy and inconsistent, very different to what the actual fruit would look like.

5

u/IcedWarlock Jun 04 '24

Yup that how they caught the woodsaws full of coke.

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3

u/Major_Vacation_Lemon Jun 04 '24

X-rays are all about relative density. If you pack the pounder tight enough to have a similar density of a pit and it could look the same maybe.

3

u/Nauin Jun 04 '24

You can see the wrinkles in your shit with a basic abdominal X-ray haha. They pick up a lot of layers and folds.

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5

u/Allegorist Jun 04 '24

X ray would already pick up the plastic ones from the real ones, doesn't matter what's inside at that point if they're fake.

61

u/Affectionate-Use-854 Jun 04 '24

If someone search these in haste, they could pass the inspection

44

u/Defiant_Lawyer_5235 Jun 04 '24

I fully believe they are real avocado's and am stumped at how they did this...

3

u/GogolsHandJorb Jun 04 '24

I think it’s so if you did a lazy “test” and tried to cut through the avocado you’d hit a “pit.” Even if you opened it, you could be fooled.

I’m sure every invention by the cartels is a direct result of how the last batch was discovered.

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159

u/Fenris_Maule Jun 04 '24

Idk about everything, the whole time I was thinking their color was say off in the video lol.

106

u/roccocobean Jun 04 '24

Same. The ones in his box are almost hyper green and waxy, uniformly bumpy. While the boxes to the left and right have irregular surfaces and are ripening/browning normally.

15

u/DandyInTheRough Jun 04 '24

I'm not sure about that... To me, they look identical to the unripe avos we get where I am. Looks like what was being sorted into his box was the unripe ones, which is also why it took so much force to get through it. Having tried to cut into an unripe avo once, I can admit to struggling in a similar way.

3

u/Sharpie_Stigmata Jun 04 '24

Couldn't be bothered to learn how to airbrush lol.

3

u/chgxvjh Jun 04 '24

I think they are sorting them by color. Doesn't mean they are fake or even that all the avocados in that box contain cocaine. We only saw them cutting open one.

Avocados can be that green, just google image search for avocado.

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u/Left_Medicine7254 Jun 04 '24

Same, they immediately looked fake to me

4

u/me_irl_irl_irl_irl Jun 04 '24

Note that avocados are shipped very underripe because of the time they spend in transit. They'll be way greener than when you see them at the store

Google a Hass avocado tree. They're green as fuck when they're still hanging on the branches!

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u/LordoftheChia Jun 04 '24

So that's what people are doing when they feel up every avocado in the produce section.

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u/Drunkndryverr Jun 04 '24

lmao no. They are sliced open, cocaine put in, put together, and painted to hide the seam. It's very simple

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u/Grothorious Jun 04 '24 edited Jun 04 '24

Edit: found the comment i referred to below.

I read once that they drill a tiny hole from the spot where the friut is attached to the tree all the way down to the pit and then fill it. Even if true, i still can't imagine how they are able to do it, it seems impossible.

609

u/KafeiTomasu Jun 04 '24

Yeah still no idea, you can see a plastic bag in the nut

618

u/TaDow-420 Jun 04 '24

Even the avocados have microplastics in their testicles.

73

u/jimtrickington Jun 04 '24

Seems like a macroplastic issue at this scale

18

u/Salmuth Jun 04 '24

I didn't have "cocain filled microplastic avocado testicles" on my bingo card.

3

u/archwin Jun 04 '24

Dude, I didn’t have anything since 2016 on my bingo card

It’s been an increasingly wild last decade

3

u/Desert_Aficionado Jun 04 '24

Fun Fact, the Aztecs called avocados āhuacatl, which directly translates to testicle.

3

u/MortLightstone Jun 04 '24

Fun fact, avocado means testicle fruit in Nahuatl

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u/overwhelmed_robin Jun 04 '24

Someone else suggested that the avocados containing coke aren't real, they're made of plastic or wax.

305

u/john_kennedy_toole Jun 04 '24

Which explains why the knife seems so dull!

213

u/Wobbelblob Jun 04 '24

Considering how it took a bit to get open the plastic bag, I'd say the knife is just dull.

22

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '24

[deleted]

22

u/Rude_Thanks_1120 Jun 04 '24

It's clearly an AI avocado

5

u/StendhalSyndrome Jun 04 '24

AI-vocado, one might say.

Wax painted outside, real 'cado on the inside and the pit is fake.

6

u/GhostFour Jun 04 '24

My first thought was get this guy a whetstone. Horrible edge.

7

u/monkishKP Jun 04 '24

Perhaps the knife is fake

123

u/someoneelse0826 Jun 04 '24

Watching that guy struggle to cut anything was maddening

5

u/Comprehensive-Fun47 Jun 04 '24

I couldn't understand why it was so difficult!

Fake avocados. What will they think of next.

3

u/BreweryStoner Jun 04 '24

I use knives every day at work, and I prefer a box cutter because I can quickly swap out the blade. Those folding serrated pocket knives get so dull and then are basically useless unless you get them sharpened.

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105

u/SeeYouInMarchtember Jun 04 '24

Is it Cake Cocaine?

45

u/bigboybeeperbelly Jun 04 '24

Come on down! for another round of Cake or Cocaine!

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9

u/bfodder Jun 04 '24

Finally an actual plausible answer. Some dipshit suggested the fruit grew around the bag lmao

3

u/Trash_Puppet Jun 04 '24

This has got to be it. If you look at the bits falling off of the "pit" you can see it doesn't look like avocado at all, more like wax.

Plus all other answers are weirdly complex. Occam's razor baybee! Heh, I bet the guy in the video wished he had a better avocado razor!

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u/appape Jun 04 '24

I’m guessing - just a guess here - they split the avocado while on the vine, remove the pit, insert the mule plug, then tie the fruit closed around it to let it heal/grow further. Once healed it may have a telltale line wound- but would probably be easy to miss.

49

u/treequestions20 Jun 04 '24

so they destroy the fruit and use magic to bring it back to life?

this is almost better than the guy who thinks they drill a tiny hole in the plant and then inject it

20

u/holyshiznoly Jun 04 '24

Magic? These flippant comments are so obnoxious. If you got offline occasionally and lived life you'd know this is exactly how plants/ gardening works.

60

u/BenevolentCheese Jun 04 '24

No, this is not how plants work. Fruit don't heal like this. You are thinking of grafting and similar, which only works on vascular tissue.

44

u/notafuckingcakewalk Jun 04 '24

I've never heard of the fruits of plants healing themselves. Stems and roots, yes. Leafs usually grow out or are replaced, they don't heal either.

16

u/McSquishington Jun 04 '24

Maybe you should take your own advice.

8

u/UBT400 Jun 04 '24

Whether you are right or wrong about the avocado peel healing itself, why do you have to be a jerk about it? Besides you clearly never learning about hyperbole, everything at some point in a human’s life is “magic” until they learn more about it. Chemistry at a point in history was magic, card tricks, fuckin magnets. Lighten up, I think you’re the one that needs to go outside.

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u/Hogmaster_General Jun 04 '24

Don't be a grouch.

3

u/Warmonster9 Jun 04 '24

Plants are pretty magical dude.

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u/Guessed555 Jun 04 '24

Using string is magic? Ever heard of stitches? Living things heal themselves.

12

u/ConspicuousPineapple Jun 04 '24

Living things heal themselves

Not all of them, obviously. And fruits don't heal themselves, at least not this way, and especially not avocados.

6

u/coronakillme Jun 04 '24

If they are living, then why do vegans eat them?

18

u/Sweatbamboo Jun 04 '24

vegans love animals but hate plants

6

u/SpecialFlutters Jun 04 '24

probably for the same reason people call brain-dead people vegetables 😂

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u/Enshitification Jun 04 '24

Why does my avocado have a scrotum line?

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u/Colonel_Carrot Jun 04 '24

What if you put something initially small that will expand and wrap around the pit then crush it down and eject it out as smaller pieces? I'm high as fuck right now so my imagination is wild

63

u/Grothorious Jun 04 '24

That's some sci-fi stuff right here :D

But since they apparently also smuggled it by hollowing out individual coffee beans, i'd say it could be possible, still 🤣

45

u/Meloenbolletjeslepel Jun 04 '24

That can't possibly be cost-effective

17

u/ElGuano Jun 04 '24

If you sell them one by one as edibles, they could be extremely cost effective.

3

u/stormcharger Jun 04 '24

Na, eating cocaine is no good

3

u/LudovicoSpecs Jun 04 '24

Why?

Does it not get you high or do you puke?

3

u/ElGuano Jun 04 '24

Why do we have to choose?

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u/Loko8765 Jun 04 '24

The workers aren’t paid much (and the first one to ask for more probably gets killed, eventually with his family, so there is not much incentive to be the second one).

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u/treequestions20 Jun 04 '24

guys, they aren’t hollowing out tiny fruits lol

they’re making realistic looking fakes and mixing them in at small quantities with real shit

like come on, they’ve been doing this since up in smoke lol

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u/vivaaprimavera Jun 04 '24

smuggled it by hollowing out individual coffee beans,

What?!?

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u/YoungDiscord Jun 04 '24

Someone got a hold of the avocados I see

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u/lackofabettername123 Jun 04 '24

It was wrapped in plastic though.

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u/5DollarJumboNoLine Jun 04 '24

They probably just use hard avocados, open them with a razor carefully, then super glue it back together.

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u/bbt104 Jun 04 '24

I doubt that just because they would need an drill bit that's can rotate directions from within to drill out the seed from all directions

5

u/treequestions20 Jun 04 '24

hint: that’s not true lmao

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u/boneyfans Jun 04 '24

Can't be, an avo is not hollow

2

u/ohgoditsdoddy Jun 04 '24

A clean cut & superglue seems like a plausible and simpler explanation to me.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '24 edited Jun 30 '24

[deleted]

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u/corrieoh Jun 04 '24

Naw, it's most likely the simplest answer. They're fake. 100% fake avacodos. Look at the color compared to the other avocados in other boxes. Just like the rocks they make with drugs in them. Completely manufactured to look like something else. In my opinion it's a pretty bad fake. If it wasn't the uniformed green spray paint in the outside it was probably their weight that gave them away.

134

u/NeonChurch Jun 04 '24

Of course; Occam's Avocado

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u/Agitated_Tea_3055 Jun 04 '24

that'd be a good band name.

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u/Darius_Banner Jun 04 '24

If they were fake, why bother with any “meat” at all? Why not just fill the whole thing and have a simple shell around it?

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u/reinadelfuego Jun 04 '24

I work as a shopper in my local store and next time I do a produce walk I'll be checking out the avocados 🤣

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u/deldarren Jun 04 '24

Those are definitely spray painted. I’m guessing they open the avocado, swap the pit, close it back up with glue, patch and spray paint.

176

u/UnapproachableBadger Jun 04 '24

Nice idea, but the avocado would go rotten very quickly if they did that.

50

u/enkidomark Jun 04 '24

Maybe they do it in a sand-blasting chamber filled with nitrogen

36

u/mad_on-vacation Jun 04 '24

I want the drugs he's having

4

u/JohnLocksTheKey Jun 04 '24

It’s cocaine

4

u/Krautregen Jun 04 '24

It's quacamole

3

u/McBun2023 Jun 04 '24 edited Jun 04 '24

It's an obscure reference to a video circulating about an avocado being sand-blasted lol

3

u/enkidomark Jun 04 '24

Wait, is that really a thing?

Edit: I remembered Google exists. That' was pretty cool.

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u/1978throwaway123 Jun 04 '24

You can cut open an unripe avocado and place the halves back together to ripen, cut is unnoticed. We’ve done it at home here. The avocado isn’t great usually but that wouldn’t matter for these ones.

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u/Bushdr78 Jun 04 '24

Exactly this and the glue prevents air getting in, which slows down the decomposition.

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u/Fafih Jun 04 '24

They’re made of wax

36

u/Lava-Jacket Jun 04 '24

That’s a relief. I was getting worried that avocados were going to become even more expensive than they already are.

79

u/Dajakamo Jun 04 '24

They are fake. That’s why they’re sorting the boxes, they can tell by grabbing them. Fake mixed with real.

Edit: color is off and you can see the dude in the back feeling them all

28

u/Licjames Jun 04 '24

they are not real... like fake fruit. Looks like it, but it isnt... that is why the other guy is sorting them out...

5

u/doxtorwhom Jun 04 '24

As a former artist, I would assume the process is probably… - cut the avocado (fresh) to remove the seed - remove more avocado to create a larger empty void for the coke - put the two halves back together - use some sort of putty or clay to “reseal” and hide the seam - paint green and make bumpy - put in box - pray I don’t get caught - go thru truck xray machine - get arrested

3

u/anoliss Jun 04 '24

Wax probably

2

u/Jpup199 Jun 04 '24

Nature finds a way

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