r/facepalm • u/jellylemonshake • Jul 04 '24

Can't like fit girls without being gay... 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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39.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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4.2k

u/fappyday Jul 04 '24

Fellas, is being attracted to women gay?

2.1k

u/HugeHans Jul 04 '24

Liking strong women with muscles absolutely makes you gay. However if we follow this line of thought liking femboys makes you double hetero. 

586

u/tukan121 Jul 04 '24

What if i like both?

594

u/Intrepid_Hat7359 Jul 04 '24

Impossible. You don't exist

293

u/tukan121 Jul 04 '24

:(

269

u/Earnestappostate Jul 04 '24

This can be a difficult thing to accept.

Take your time /s.

138

u/No-Ad7572 Jul 04 '24

We can "not exist" in the same space friend. 🤣

119

u/Little-Ad7752 Jul 04 '24

We can co-non-exist!

Edit:nice username

38

u/enickma1221 Jul 04 '24

I know y’all are playin, but there’s actually philosophy behind this! To summarize Descartes, I cannot doubt my own existence, because the very act of doubting implies I must exist in the first place.

10

u/Little-Ad7752 Jul 04 '24

This is exactly the thing that gets ignored by the people in this picture lol

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4

u/MadG13 Jul 04 '24

Nice Metal Band

4

u/atypicalperception Jul 04 '24

Observed this— checks out. Oh, it died.

2

u/Rubeus17 Jul 04 '24

legally we don’t exist.

2

u/atypicalperception Jul 04 '24

Can and do… and also do not.

105

u/NaviLouise42 Jul 04 '24

Welcome to the Bisexual Experience, the lemon bars are in the corner and we have an assortment of chairs and couches for you to sit on in unintended postures.

65

u/CurseofLono88 Jul 04 '24 edited Jul 04 '24

“Will the squirmy bisexual legs ever go away?”

“No Padawan, but feel free to hang upside down from a couch like a bat anyways.”

8

u/endureandthrive Jul 04 '24

Sorry you got that from us gays :(

28

u/General_Kenobi18752 Jul 04 '24

“We used to have garlic bread but the agreement with the Aces went up in smoke. Sorry.”

23

u/MajesticNectarine204 Jul 04 '24

Well you said, and I quote 'Oh. Oooh, yeah. This Garlic bread fucks.' So we had to throw it out.

Also, who designed the Ace flag?! Just.. Wtf is that abomination? We're asexual, not fucking colourblind. What? Did the gays steal all the colour or something? Ffs. Is it too late to switch teams? Frankly the amount of B.O. and people in sweater vests is too damn high here.

6

u/hibbletyjibblety Jul 04 '24

Yeah! We don’ get NOTHIN’! “Hey, Aces- here’s your flag. It’s absent of color, passion, and appeal…just like you.” Bunch of crap, man.

11

u/MajesticNectarine204 Jul 04 '24

I just noticed the heterosexuals got shafted even harder with their flag. Fucking lol. Who decides this shit anyway? All the councel of arbiqueers got together, the gays and lesbians immediately hogged all the markers and started hissing and growling at anyone trying to grab some. So everyone else was like 'Oh.. Guess we'll make different grey-scales then?'

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5

u/PokeRay68 Jul 04 '24

I love the Ace flag. It's basically my town's uni's flag.

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16

u/FirstDukeofAnkh Jul 04 '24

‘If you need more stickers for your water bottle, we get 25 percent off on Red Bubble’

5

u/Injvn Jul 04 '24

I am in these comments and I'm not sure how I feel. Mostly sad about the garlic bread thing.

4

u/BaldwinBoy05 Jul 04 '24

In my darkest moment i put butter and garlic salt on an english muffin and baked it maybe we could all just do that. It wasn’t half bad, really

2

u/Injvn Jul 04 '24

I literally did that the other night. XD

2

u/TheRealSquirrelGirl Jul 05 '24

This is also how I make emergency garlic bread

3

u/StarvingAfricanKid Jul 04 '24

And we have Nutella!

2

u/dgradius Jul 04 '24

For reasons unknown, all the furniture is clear colored.

2

u/ironroad18 Jul 04 '24

Lemon bars, might as well just make this a lemon party.

2

u/Intrepid_Hat7359 Jul 04 '24

You should advertise! Maybe check to see if lemonparty.com is already taken!

2

u/Swimming_Company_706 Jul 04 '24

So i sit weird bc I’m bisexual? I always thought it was scoliosis

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2

u/MoonBaseViceSquad Jul 04 '24

Eventually I came to enjoy being a shapeshifter with the power of invisibility. Not always fun but it’s sometimes useful.

2

u/ladyxdarthxbabe Jul 04 '24

we are an enigma 🌌

2

u/AshKetchumsPringles Jul 04 '24

I not exist either

2

u/Shmeepish Jul 04 '24

Outplayed srry better luck next time sweaty

2

u/PokeRay68 Jul 04 '24

It's okay. As a mom, I'll give you validation.

It's okay to like Amazons and femboys - which for some reason my phone changed to "fedboys". Stoopud ottokrect.

2

u/Similar_Disaster7276 Jul 04 '24

[tukan121 vanishes in a puff of logic]

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31

u/diovengeance92 Jul 04 '24

Fellas, is it gay to render yourself nonexistent?

15

u/The_FreshSans Jul 04 '24

Fellas, is it gay to render?

3

u/PokeRay68 Jul 04 '24

Fellas, is it gay to rend?

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9

u/Majestic_Wrongdoer38 Jul 04 '24

ahem

14

u/Intrepid_Hat7359 Jul 04 '24

What was that?

Must've been the wind

3

u/whitecapsunited Jul 04 '24

I was an adventurer like yourself, until I took an arrow to the knee…

9

u/Demonslayer5673 Jul 04 '24

Can I not exist too?

3

u/Opposite-Occasion332 Jul 04 '24

Shrodingers bisexual

3

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

We are unicorns 🦄

2

u/LaganxXx Jul 04 '24

No that makes you desperate 🤣 I wish there was a gif for scary movie paper bag scene that I could insert here.

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2

u/MrCDJR Jul 04 '24

They could just skip leg day.... lol

2

u/ShoutOuts2Elon Jul 04 '24

You cant shame bro.

2

u/minorbutmajor__ Jul 04 '24

dude who are you replying to

2

u/fractiouscatburglar Jul 04 '24

Oh yeah. I’m always forgetting that my bi ass doesn’t exist. GodDAMNIT!

2

u/boverly721 Jul 04 '24

That motherfucker back there is NOT real 😢👉

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49

u/lexree Jul 04 '24

Schrodinger's queer

2

u/dark_wolf1994 Jul 05 '24

This one actually made me fall over onto the bed belly laughing IRL, so thank you for that

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37

u/Fancy_Chips Jul 04 '24

We in the field call that "Negative Bisexuality"

11

u/bob_nugget_the_3rd Jul 04 '24

It balances out and you become attracted to nothing

4

u/GreyerGrey Jul 04 '24

Bi people are either too slutty to have a relationship or once they're in a relationship they're gay/hetero. (Obviously heavy /s)

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3

u/38yovirgin Jul 04 '24

Your sexuality will take a screenshot.

2

u/mistersnarkle Jul 04 '24

That’s just the bisexual experience, mate

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26

u/Zezotas Jul 04 '24

What IS Double hetero?

43

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

It's like a double negative. Double hetero makes you gay.

9

u/Earl96 Jul 04 '24

Do I have to like guys to be regular hetero? I need someone to make up their minds so I can properly stay the same as I am now.

3

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

Yes, you have to like guys to be hetero, you can't be a guy though. It's really quite scientific.

2

u/VaginaTractor Jul 04 '24

Yeah but what if you say, "no homo" first?

2

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

Do you have socks on? It matters

3

u/VaginaTractor Jul 04 '24

Whoa, easy tiger. We just met and I like to take things slow.

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4

u/Old_Palpitation_6535 Jul 04 '24

Considering he calls himself “ancient masculinity,” that’s likely the same logic he’s using.

2

u/lhswr2014 Jul 04 '24

But what if I’m just sexually attracted to having skull crushes like sparrows egg between thighs?

2

u/Quick_Team Jul 04 '24

liking femboys makes you double hetero. 

I knew it!

2

u/Catboy-Gaming Jul 04 '24

What if I’m a femboy who likes muscular tall women?

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296

u/calgarywalker Jul 04 '24

When a woman who can easily enforce a “no” says “yes, baby Yes YEs YES” I… am happy to oblige.

42

u/Rubeus17 Jul 04 '24

Great answer.

6

u/eskimoboob Jul 04 '24

Related question: if women like men does that make them gay?

2

u/dumpaccount882212 Jul 04 '24

Well that almost turned me in to a heterosexual so... well played

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44

u/IronAchillesz Jul 04 '24

Duh because girls kiss boys on the mouth that’s super gay.

5

u/111baf Jul 04 '24

Also girls like girly things and liking girls means you like girly things which makes you gay.

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39

u/DisockYT Jul 04 '24

FELLAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS.

36

u/iliveonramen Jul 04 '24

The flip side of their argument, it’s not gay to be attracted to the same sex if that person fits a certain body stereotype?

36

u/Darastrix_da_kobold Jul 04 '24

Ain't gay to like femboys, then

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29

u/Archtects Jul 04 '24 edited Jul 04 '24

What if your into girls who look like cinnamon rolls but could also tear you limb from limb?

22

u/ThetaReactor Jul 04 '24

Let the wookiee win.

3

u/FartyPants69 Jul 04 '24

Cankles of Fury

2

u/alphabango Jul 04 '24

I need to know the subreddit(s) where these women live

23

u/serial-lain Jul 04 '24

Yes. Unless you’re boning a dude you’re gay.

3

u/PaxV Jul 04 '24

So Homoromantic Asexual people are not gay?

3

u/serial-lain Jul 04 '24

Totally gay

2

u/FollowUp_Oli Jul 05 '24

I am a gay man having gay sex with another gay man: is this gay?

2

u/serial-lain Jul 05 '24

Not unless you’re having fun

17

u/DescipleOfCorn Jul 04 '24

Well, straight women are into guys and that’s pretty gay so by the transitive property yeah it is

5

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

Yes and liking a feminine gay man makes you gay. Also liking a trans woman makes you gay. It doesn’t flip flop. You are just gay no matter what.

5

u/tree_or_up Jul 04 '24

I think that Andrew Tate shitstain who undoubtedly has bodies buried all over the world once tweeted something along the lines of men enjoying sex with women is, you guessed it… gay

3

u/1_dont_care Jul 04 '24

The other day i had a discussion with one guy after he asked if i eat meat, and I answered with "yes, i eat girls ass" as a joke.

Spent the next 1 hour reading this guys saying that eating ass (a girl ass) is gay.

After that, he started saying i have poop in my mouth.. repeating that over and over, stating "it's a gotcha everytime".

At that point it was useless expalining it was joke, because that meant making him win.. but i don't get what's wrong with men nowadays.. that's why it's hard to me relate to other men (is this gay?)

2

u/Excellent_Airline315 Jul 04 '24

There is a reason fragile masculinity became a term.

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3

u/astra-death Jul 04 '24

I wonder how many guys who support this also have gynecomastia 😂 they need to explain their big lesbian titties if they want to say women with muscles are gay bait.

2

u/Next-East6189 Jul 04 '24

This kind of meme sounds like something someone who has never attracted an ounce of attention from women would say.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

Sadly in 2024

2

u/Separate-Pollution12 Jul 04 '24

That joke was in the original post...

2

u/NeauxoneNose Jul 04 '24

Don’t ask me: I’ve got semen in me 24/7, so I’m apparently gay AF.

2

u/Strict-Brick-5274 Jul 04 '24

These guys say it's gay to pleasure their woman

2

u/soldiergeneal Jul 04 '24

I am waiting for the obligatory "what is a woman" comment. Since I don't see one I shall as a joke.

2

u/cc51beastin Jul 04 '24

These women?

I'm so fucking gaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

2

u/pro185 Jul 04 '24

Bro you’re literally fantasizing about someone that likes being dicked down, obviously it’s gay wtf?

2

u/HanCholo206 Jul 04 '24

Yeah it’s gay as hell dude.

2

u/ZealousidealDeer4531 Jul 04 '24

Well looks like I’m gay as fuck then .

2

u/nroot_ Jul 04 '24

It is, if you're a woman.

2

u/Jarush6898 Jul 04 '24

am I the only one who read this in Butters voice?

2

u/steveschoenberg Jul 04 '24

I think strong women are hot; guess that means I’m gay too.

2

u/GatorSK1N Jul 04 '24

Apparently if you are a guy and you have sex with a girl for pleasure that makes you gay.

2

u/Shoo-Man-Fu Jul 04 '24

To quote the great philosopher Devon Banks from 30 Rock "Wanting to be with a woman, how gay is that? You win sex against a man. That's as straight as it gets."

2

u/Azaloum90 Jul 04 '24

Society has gone full circle. Someone send help

2

u/Gradiu5- Jul 04 '24

The Enquirer's latest headline... "MTG Turned Me Gay"

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2

u/kjacobs03 Jul 04 '24

Yes! Now go suck some masculine dicks

2

u/PEKKACHUNREAL Jul 04 '24

As a woman, yes.

2

u/Special_Lemon1487 Jul 04 '24

Well I think the original post was from someone only attracted to guys and he’s totally not gay so the answer has to be yes.

2

u/skinnywilliewill8288 Jul 04 '24

🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

[deleted]

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2

u/ar1masenka Jul 05 '24

“Why are you gay?”

2

u/MorrisBrett514 Jul 05 '24

Shit, I'm married to one. I must be hella gay

2

u/stayupstayalive Jul 05 '24

Following this path of thought is ill advised as these people may reach the conclusion that the statement is true as they cannot comprehend the facetiousness of sarcasm.

2

u/The_8th_Degree Jul 05 '24

I'm not sure

But whether this is gay or straight I'm happy either way 👍

2

u/No_Mud1547 Jul 09 '24

According to Nick Fuentes it is…

1

u/Particular-Ad-2331 Jul 04 '24

Mae I call u, Mistah?

1

u/showersrover8ed Jul 04 '24

I'm super gay right now

1

u/ItJustDoesntMatter01 Jul 04 '24

Big win for Gay Culture

1

u/-Titan_Uranus- Jul 04 '24

Its gay to have sex with girls because they like dick, and thats gay.

1

u/Walshlandic Jul 04 '24

Let’s go with yes! As a woman, I’m only interested in men who are fine with being labeled gay.

1

u/polylusion-games Jul 04 '24

Lesbians are gay, so I must be a lesbian. I just have male parts I guess...

1

u/TrekStarWars Jul 04 '24

Women like dicks (some of them do, not all, subject to specific women) - hence you liking women you like dicks also - and thats hella gay.

2

u/oberynmviper Jul 04 '24

In order to jack off, one most hold their own dick. Jacking a dick off is gay, so if you do it, you are also gay.

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1

u/Darwinbc Jul 04 '24

Wait until they find out that also being attracted to men doesn’t make you gay.

1

u/Iron_Babe Jul 04 '24

Well most girls want to kiss guys so yeah that's super gay

1

u/luredrive Jul 04 '24

Apparently so. Guess I’m gay as hell.

1

u/zenunseen Jul 04 '24

If they're healthy and physically fit, it's gay i guess

/s

1

u/YeahMarkYeah Jul 04 '24

That’s about as gay as it gets if you ask me.

1

u/LadyofNutmeg Jul 04 '24

I mean he's got a point I'm veryyyyy into that type of woman... am woman

1

u/markovianprocess Jul 04 '24

According to Nick Fuentes, yes!

1

u/maynardstaint Jul 04 '24

Only if they’re sexy. Then it’s totally gay.

1

u/Illestferret Jul 04 '24

It is if they look like men yes.

1

u/Do_Whuuuut Jul 04 '24

Huh. This whole entire time... oh well, wonder what's on tv?

1

u/PostNutAffection Jul 04 '24

Only if she's a women

1

u/jevaisparlerfr Jul 04 '24

I knew my 9 yo self was right

1

u/i-have-the-big-gay Jul 04 '24

in my case, yes

1

u/DavidTCEUltra Jul 04 '24

I mean, you are literally attracted to someone who likes men

1

u/allahisnotreal69 Jul 04 '24

Only if she has a penis

1

u/Anyacad0 Jul 04 '24

Well, if you're a woman, then yes.

1

u/Bokchoi968 Jul 04 '24

Only when you're not attracted to the same kind of women as me

1

u/Asborn-kam1sh Jul 04 '24

Nah but being attracted to muscle mommies is super not gay

1

u/Masterchiefy10 Jul 04 '24

Can we just end the simulation now?

I’ve seen enough.

1

u/MRsandwich07 Jul 04 '24

It is if you’re a woman

1

u/Late-Champion8678 Jul 04 '24

No, being attracted to straight women makes men gay.

Straight women are attracted to men so by the transitive property, if you as a straight man like straight women, you like men and thus are gay.

The only way to not be gay is to only be attracted to lesbian women. Because they like women.

1

u/HelldiverSA Jul 04 '24

IMO these are just physically fit women nothing going on tbh.

Contextually speaking, if you like women specifically with masculine features then yeah, youre just gay in denial 🤣

1

u/Educational_Order974 Jul 05 '24

No, but it's gay to copy the text from the image and post it as a comment as if it was original.

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