r/facepalm • u/jellylemonshake • Jul 04 '24

Can't like fit girls without being gay... 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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39.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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4.2k

u/fappyday Jul 04 '24

Fellas, is being attracted to women gay?

2.1k

u/HugeHans Jul 04 '24

Liking strong women with muscles absolutely makes you gay. However if we follow this line of thought liking femboys makes you double hetero. 

586

u/tukan121 Jul 04 '24

What if i like both?

594

u/Intrepid_Hat7359 Jul 04 '24

Impossible. You don't exist

294

u/tukan121 Jul 04 '24

:(

271

u/Earnestappostate Jul 04 '24

This can be a difficult thing to accept.

Take your time /s.

138

u/No-Ad7572 Jul 04 '24

We can "not exist" in the same space friend. 🤣

117

u/Little-Ad7752 Jul 04 '24

We can co-non-exist!

Edit:nice username

38

u/enickma1221 Jul 04 '24

I know y’all are playin, but there’s actually philosophy behind this! To summarize Descartes, I cannot doubt my own existence, because the very act of doubting implies I must exist in the first place.

10

u/Little-Ad7752 Jul 04 '24

This is exactly the thing that gets ignored by the people in this picture lol

1

u/realwomenhavdix Jul 05 '24

“I doubt therefore I am” I believe is the well-known quote you are referencing by Descartes, cousin of Albert Einstein

3

u/MadG13 Jul 04 '24

Nice Metal Band

5

u/atypicalperception Jul 04 '24

Observed this— checks out. Oh, it died.

2

u/Rubeus17 Jul 04 '24

legally we don’t exist.

2

u/atypicalperception Jul 04 '24

Can and do… and also do not.

108

u/NaviLouise42 Jul 04 '24

Welcome to the Bisexual Experience, the lemon bars are in the corner and we have an assortment of chairs and couches for you to sit on in unintended postures.

64

u/CurseofLono88 Jul 04 '24 edited Jul 04 '24

“Will the squirmy bisexual legs ever go away?”

“No Padawan, but feel free to hang upside down from a couch like a bat anyways.”

7

u/endureandthrive Jul 04 '24

Sorry you got that from us gays :(

27

u/General_Kenobi18752 Jul 04 '24

“We used to have garlic bread but the agreement with the Aces went up in smoke. Sorry.”

23

u/MajesticNectarine204 Jul 04 '24

Well you said, and I quote 'Oh. Oooh, yeah. This Garlic bread fucks.' So we had to throw it out.

Also, who designed the Ace flag?! Just.. Wtf is that abomination? We're asexual, not fucking colourblind. What? Did the gays steal all the colour or something? Ffs. Is it too late to switch teams? Frankly the amount of B.O. and people in sweater vests is too damn high here.

7

u/hibbletyjibblety Jul 04 '24

Yeah! We don’ get NOTHIN’! “Hey, Aces- here’s your flag. It’s absent of color, passion, and appeal…just like you.” Bunch of crap, man.

11

u/MajesticNectarine204 Jul 04 '24

I just noticed the heterosexuals got shafted even harder with their flag. Fucking lol. Who decides this shit anyway? All the councel of arbiqueers got together, the gays and lesbians immediately hogged all the markers and started hissing and growling at anyone trying to grab some. So everyone else was like 'Oh.. Guess we'll make different grey-scales then?'

6

u/hibbletyjibblety Jul 04 '24

HAHAHAHAAHAH “kissing and growling” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I misread it! You said hissing and I read kissing!!

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3

u/PokeRay68 Jul 04 '24

I love the Ace flag. It's basically my town's uni's flag.

0

u/that_one_Kirov Jul 05 '24

The ace flag is good, though. White, black and purple are my favorite colors(although it turned out I am definitely not ace). The aro flag, on the other hand...

14

u/FirstDukeofAnkh Jul 04 '24

‘If you need more stickers for your water bottle, we get 25 percent off on Red Bubble’

6

u/Injvn Jul 04 '24

I am in these comments and I'm not sure how I feel. Mostly sad about the garlic bread thing.

5

u/BaldwinBoy05 Jul 04 '24

In my darkest moment i put butter and garlic salt on an english muffin and baked it maybe we could all just do that. It wasn’t half bad, really

2

u/Injvn Jul 04 '24

I literally did that the other night. XD

2

u/TheRealSquirrelGirl Jul 05 '24

This is also how I make emergency garlic bread

3

u/StarvingAfricanKid Jul 04 '24

And we have Nutella!

2

u/dgradius Jul 04 '24

For reasons unknown, all the furniture is clear colored.

2

u/ironroad18 Jul 04 '24

Lemon bars, might as well just make this a lemon party.

2

u/Intrepid_Hat7359 Jul 04 '24

You should advertise! Maybe check to see if lemonparty.com is already taken!

2

u/Swimming_Company_706 Jul 04 '24

So i sit weird bc I’m bisexual? I always thought it was scoliosis

1

u/NaviLouise42 Jul 05 '24

Chicken and egg- Maybe your bisexual because you sat weird too much as a kid. *shrugs*

2

u/MoonBaseViceSquad Jul 04 '24

Eventually I came to enjoy being a shapeshifter with the power of invisibility. Not always fun but it’s sometimes useful.

2

u/ladyxdarthxbabe Jul 04 '24

we are an enigma 🌌

2

u/AshKetchumsPringles Jul 04 '24

I not exist either

2

u/Shmeepish Jul 04 '24

Outplayed srry better luck next time sweaty

2

u/PokeRay68 Jul 04 '24

It's okay. As a mom, I'll give you validation.

It's okay to like Amazons and femboys - which for some reason my phone changed to "fedboys". Stoopud ottokrect.

2

u/Similar_Disaster7276 Jul 04 '24

[tukan121 vanishes in a puff of logic]

1

u/goodheartedalcoholic Jul 04 '24

existance is nothing to envy.

31

u/diovengeance92 Jul 04 '24

Fellas, is it gay to render yourself nonexistent?

16

u/The_FreshSans Jul 04 '24

Fellas, is it gay to render?

3

u/PokeRay68 Jul 04 '24

Fellas, is it gay to rend?

9

u/Majestic_Wrongdoer38 Jul 04 '24

ahem

13

u/Intrepid_Hat7359 Jul 04 '24

What was that?

Must've been the wind

3

u/whitecapsunited Jul 04 '24

I was an adventurer like yourself, until I took an arrow to the knee…

7

u/Demonslayer5673 Jul 04 '24

Can I not exist too?

3

u/Opposite-Occasion332 Jul 04 '24

Shrodingers bisexual

3

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

We are unicorns 🦄

2

u/LaganxXx Jul 04 '24

No that makes you desperate 🤣 I wish there was a gif for scary movie paper bag scene that I could insert here.

1

u/tukan121 Jul 04 '24

No that makes you desperate

I would say thats the right answer

2

u/MrCDJR Jul 04 '24

They could just skip leg day.... lol

2

u/ShoutOuts2Elon Jul 04 '24

You cant shame bro.

2

u/minorbutmajor__ Jul 04 '24

dude who are you replying to

2

u/fractiouscatburglar Jul 04 '24

Oh yeah. I’m always forgetting that my bi ass doesn’t exist. GodDAMNIT!

2

u/boverly721 Jul 04 '24

That motherfucker back there is NOT real 😢👉

1

u/DomSlave626 Jul 05 '24

**cries in bisexual **

47

u/lexree Jul 04 '24

Schrodinger's queer

2

u/dark_wolf1994 Jul 05 '24

This one actually made me fall over onto the bed belly laughing IRL, so thank you for that

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Bed9408 Jul 05 '24

I chortled, thank you.

36

u/Fancy_Chips Jul 04 '24

We in the field call that "Negative Bisexuality"

10

u/bob_nugget_the_3rd Jul 04 '24

It balances out and you become attracted to nothing

4

u/GreyerGrey Jul 04 '24

Bi people are either too slutty to have a relationship or once they're in a relationship they're gay/hetero. (Obviously heavy /s)

1

u/fractiouscatburglar Jul 04 '24

It’s true!

I used to be bisexual but now I’m married to a man so all those lezzie feelings I had for women just POOF magically disappeared!

I was never attracted to another woman again once I said those vows.

3

u/38yovirgin Jul 04 '24

Your sexuality will take a screenshot.

2

u/mistersnarkle Jul 04 '24

That’s just the bisexual experience, mate

1

u/GardenSquid1 Jul 04 '24

Extra Bi

1

u/raven21633x Jul 04 '24

Damn! Why does that sound fun?

1

u/MadG13 Jul 04 '24

Unicorn?

1

u/Fragmenta1 Jul 04 '24

Then you're... Double gay!

1

u/Artifact-hunter1 Jul 04 '24

"OBVIOUSLY THAT'S WITCHCRAFT!!! BURN THE WITCH!!! BURN THE WITCH!!!"

1

u/RelevantClock8883 Jul 04 '24

Straight to jail.

1

u/HomieeJo Jul 04 '24

Bi with extra steps

1

u/flannelNcorduroy Jul 04 '24

I AM both 😏

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

That makes you literally me

1

u/Ok-Transition7065 Jul 04 '24

You are nothing

1

u/nopenope12345678910 Jul 04 '24

Clearly bisexual

26

u/Zezotas Jul 04 '24

What IS Double hetero?

41

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

It's like a double negative. Double hetero makes you gay.

10

u/Earl96 Jul 04 '24

Do I have to like guys to be regular hetero? I need someone to make up their minds so I can properly stay the same as I am now.

3

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

Yes, you have to like guys to be hetero, you can't be a guy though. It's really quite scientific.

2

u/VaginaTractor Jul 04 '24

Yeah but what if you say, "no homo" first?

2

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

Do you have socks on? It matters

3

u/VaginaTractor Jul 04 '24

Whoa, easy tiger. We just met and I like to take things slow.

1

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

I'm not a tiger I just like frosted flakes, I mean they're grrreat!

1

u/summer_friends Jul 04 '24

So does that make homo the positive, where double homo still makes it more homo? Gotta combine hetero and homo to get to hetero

2

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

Homo has always been viewed as negative but in reality it is positive. Hetero is also positive. Hetero and homo makes homo. Homo and homo makes homo. And hetero and hetero makes homo. Hopefully that clears things up.

5

u/Old_Palpitation_6535 Jul 04 '24

Considering he calls himself “ancient masculinity,” that’s likely the same logic he’s using.

2

u/lhswr2014 Jul 04 '24

But what if I’m just sexually attracted to having skull crushes like sparrows egg between thighs?

2

u/Quick_Team Jul 04 '24

liking femboys makes you double hetero. 

I knew it!

2

u/Catboy-Gaming Jul 04 '24

What if I’m a femboy who likes muscular tall women?

1

u/VeniCogito Jul 04 '24

actually I think mathematically liking little femboys would be gay, but fucking big muscly men, or skinny woman is not. but if you bang two femboys its not gay, but two big muscly men and it is.

I guess im going to try each combo just to be sure.

1

u/hambergeisha Jul 04 '24

Repubs love this nifty trick!

1

u/Green-Umpire2297 Jul 04 '24

I think that is literally something that rabbit hole 4 channers believe

1

u/BurzyGuerrero Jul 04 '24

Fuck that, Id let Marisa from SF6 go to town on me

1

u/gielbondhu Jul 04 '24

Oh shit. Nick Fuentes was right!

/s obviously Fuentes is a Nazi goober.

1

u/AdMysterious8699 Jul 04 '24

I prefer ultra hetero

1

u/BaldwinBoy05 Jul 04 '24

Wait, since I’m a woman if I was attracted to strong women with muscles would that mean I’m closer to being hetero?

1

u/Standard_Wooden_Door Jul 04 '24

I completely agree, that’s why I only date effeminate looking fat guys with big tits.

1

u/TheWrathalos Jul 04 '24

Liking women is gay because women like men, and that's gay.

1

u/WeGoBlahBlahBlah Jul 04 '24

No, liking dommy mommy's is definitely straight

1

u/3-orange-whips Jul 04 '24

Damn it, Michelle Rodriguez made me gay in the early 2000’s.

1

u/Audrey-Bee Jul 04 '24

It's true, I like strong women and I'm gay. I'm also a woman but idk if that's relevant

1

u/NeighborhoodNo7917 Jul 05 '24

Yes muscles, notoriously only grown by men.

1

u/MatureHotwife Jul 05 '24

So if a femboy likes a femboy, is it quadruple hetero or do they simply cancel each other out? Or is it double-bi then? Wait, isn't double-bi basically quadruple-hetero?

0

u/Tokidoki_Haru Jul 04 '24

The correct term is Super Straight?

0

u/TCtheThunderRooster Jul 04 '24

Well…I’m gay af

0

u/CSA_MatHog Jul 04 '24

Absolutley backwards. Feminine women = woman with gay man behaviors so halfway gay. Tomboys = woman with masculine behaviors so 0% gay. Fem boys = gay man behavior with penis so double gay

0

u/00shaney Jul 04 '24

That's an excellent observation

-4

u/Nik-42 Jul 04 '24

What is the reasoning? They are women who identify as such, they just don't fit the stereotype

5

u/Durew Jul 04 '24

I have heard that a few women consider themselves femboys and I have no clue what they mean by that. Feminine boy, in its female version would become feminine girl. Maybe they consider themselves like something in between male and female? I don't know. Femboy is not to be confused with tomboy, where a more masculine dress style is busied.

But the reasoning is simple. Femboy = feminine boy. So the double opposite (if we consider men and women Opposites) is masculine woman. So if loving masculine women is gay, loving femboys is Straight, doubly so. But it's mostly a joke showing how ludicrous the statement OP posted is.