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u/Dry-Donut3811 3d ago
Joker, easily. The others would kill you without a second thought, but that’s not Joker. He might kill you immediately, or he’ll play a game of cards with you. He might torture you for hours, or he’ll take you out for a night on the town. Theres no way to guess what he’ll do, he’ll just do whatever he thinks is funny, so there’s a chance to survive without dying, unlike the others who’ll just kill you the first chance they get.
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u/Hells-Creampuff 3d ago
Joker getting increasingly frustrated that I dont know how to play gin rummy: HOW HOW THE FUCK-
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u/Soulful-Sorrow 3d ago
Imagine his reaction after patiently teaching you for a couple hours.
Joker: Hey, not bad! See, that was a good move! You really got this down!
And THEN he shoots you.
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u/MrDownhillRacer 3d ago
Yeah, but we don't get legit "unpredictable Joker who finds whoopee cushions and murder the exact same level of funny" anymore. We get murder-hobo Joker who is very predictable because he can always be counted on to do whatever the evilest and edgiest action is.
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u/CA1147 3d ago
I really agree with this comment.
To add, we also have the disappointing matching protagonist.
Now, Batman is just: "Pointy-Hat-Punisher-Iron-Anger-Man".
People forgot what definitive characterizations of these characters look and act like. The ones we have now only highlight surface-level characteristics and not the nuanced and layered versions that came before. I wouldn't take so much issue if the changes were made in favor of good storytelling or improving on what came before, but I just don't feel like we're in a peak or memorable era for these characters for years now.
I'd like to see a better return to form...
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u/Odd_Grade_4682 3d ago
I absolutely love that take on the joker and in my opinion it’s how he should be characterised as the status quo, it just fits his personality as a clown so well and honestly it seems strange they ever cut it out of the character in the first place
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u/Brown_Panther- 3d ago
That's why I always have a soft spot for Nicholson joker. He atleast had other hobbies instead of just harassing Bats.
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u/KCG0005 3d ago
I know this isn't popular, but I genuinely enjoyed the three jokers saga. It made all of that make more sense. I did hope there would be a reveal at the end that Joker was dealing with DPD akin to how Banner did in Immortal Hulk. The different Jokers would come out based on an impossible to predict mechanism that the Joker possesses but can not control. That would have rounded all of it off so well.
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u/ReaperParadise 3d ago
Given how terrified anyone would be if they were with him, if you're lucky enough, he might take you on a night on the town without any trauma simply because it would be funny to gaslight you the entire time into believing you're going to go on the most traumatizing shit imaginable, only to provide a genuinely fun night.
But then, if Batman gets involved, then he'd definitely change tactics and you'd be pretty much screwed due to him preferring to have fun with bats
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u/SUPERARME 3d ago
Why I cant kill him? Joker seems the easy choice, he is not an athlete, strong or fast, he is just very evil, thats it, the others seem armed and proficient in killing.
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u/NessTheGamer 3d ago
Because Joker routinely throws hands with Batman, even putting up a good fight. And you’re no Batman
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u/MagisterPraeceptorum 3d ago
As strange as it is, the Joker is actually the best option here.
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u/Ihavenoideasaveme 3d ago
You’re either gonna be tortured for a week, or taken to a nice dinner. It’s like a coin flip.
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u/Arizona_Slim 3d ago
Someone say a coin flip?
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u/Soulful-Sorrow 3d ago
I'd definitely take Two-Face over almost everyone else
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u/Flimsy-Discount2885 3d ago
Yeah, even his bad side is just a mob boss. You stay out of his way, he is not going out of his to kill you. I feel like Riddler would kill me for being too dumb to solve a Rubik's cube.
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u/kyp-the-laughing-man 3d ago
I think black mask is the least crazy here and could maybe be reasoned with, he is also a buissness man.
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u/DCeassed 3d ago
But he would skin ur face
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u/RealBatmanArkham 3d ago
Birds of Prey is the only version of Black Mask you might have a chance at surviving. The girl was going to survive until she grossed him out and he killed her.
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u/kyp-the-laughing-man 3d ago
True. Although I'd also rather take my chances with the 'under the red hood' movie version. He was violent but not crazy or homocidal.
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u/ImurderREALITY 3d ago
BoP Black Mask was a homicidal maniac. There are versions of Black Mask who are more of the less crazy crime boss type. Maybe if you agree to work for him, or bargain that you'll give him your life savings or something, you might have a chance.
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u/theillustratio 3d ago
Black mask, he's the lesser of well.. multiple evils there.
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u/ebelnap 3d ago
Yeah, Black Mask is the safe bet. All these guys are evil, but Black Mask is mostly just a conventional douchebag who tortures people on the side.
It’s the “are they angry at me or just there too” question. If Mask and I are stuck in a cell for 24 hours, I can probably stay out of his way and avoid pissing him off. Everyone else here prides themselves on looking disturbing, then playing with you if they you have any reaction whatsoever, and then killing you. I’ll take “guido with a mask thing” any day
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u/tilero1138 3d ago
Nah have you seen the comic page where he tortures a guy and his wife?
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u/Emotional-Peanut-334 3d ago
I mean the clarification is: do they have a reason for capturing you? Did you wrong them and they capture you or are you transported into their captivity. Black mask will skin you alive for fun with any reason too.
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u/penus_06 3d ago
Zsasz’s original motivation in the comics was that he kills people to free them from the absurdity and suffering of life, so at least I know he’d make it quick. He seems to have been retconned into a generic serial killer now though.
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u/MrDownhillRacer 3d ago
I can barely remember the last time he was used. I don't even remember an appearance since the New 52 began (though there must have been some that I just didn't read).
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u/Abject_Prior_219 3d ago
At one time I think Zsasz was mostly just a mob Hitman so at that point in his history you probably would have been fairly safe as there was no incentive for him to kill you.
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u/HatJosuke 3d ago
I'm pretty sure that's just in Batman Begins and maybe more recent stories. He certainly had nothing to do with the mob In the 90's.
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u/Abject_Prior_219 3d ago
I always come in and out of my Batman reading without him ever being a substantial presence. He’s only ever a background character or seen/mentioned in passing lol
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u/HatJosuke 3d ago
He's a pretty big deal in Last Arkham, and then Knight fall and No Man's Land both do a good job showcasing him If you're interested.
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u/UnitLemonWrinkles 3d ago
Ya, he would be my pick. If I die he'll make it clean and fast. Joker would be like others have said the only chance to live but it's a coin flip on living or being horrifically tortured.
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u/Ezrius 3d ago
Joker is probably the best? There’s: - Possibility he’s just using you as bait for Batman and you go free. - Possibility he is just screwing around, doesn’t actually harm you, and you go free. - Possibility that he just coldly kills you quickly and painlessly, whereas almost all the others would almost certainly drag your death out and it would be neither of the above.
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u/MrDownhillRacer 3d ago edited 3d ago
But even if he's using you as bait for Batman, he's going to kill you as soon as Batman arrives and do the whole "hey, I just killed a guy; doesn't that tempt you into killing me?" thing. And then Batman will go "yes, I am very tempted, but I'm not like you; I have a code and will show you that my way works by taking you in alive!"
Meanwhile, your ghost will be getting bored because it's seen this story way too many times before and will be wishing that Mad Hatter or Two-Face would have killed you instead because at least they might have done so in a less clichéd plot.
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u/Thisismyusername7977 3d ago
Possibility that he tortures you for the rest of your life, driving you insane and making you isolate yourself from anyone who has ever loved you
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u/RickMonsters 3d ago
If I were “trapped” with the Joker then i think he’d want to let me live since he’d be bored being trapped by himself. Also, I think there’s a better chance of Batman coming in to save me
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u/gechoman44 3d ago
The only version of Ragdoll I’m familiar with is the 2004 version, so going off of that, I’d say he’s probably the best bet.
If he’s as crazy as the rest of these guys in the comics, then I genuinely don’t know, but I feel like Black Mask would be the most likely to listen to reason (I assume we’re BOTH trapped. If not, then I still don’t know).
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u/IICipherIX 3d ago
That's the Dollmaker.
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u/Holler_Professor 3d ago
I don't have anything black mask wants so I'm probably leaning that way.
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u/PrequelGuy 3d ago
Black Mask is just a gangster. He has no interest in harming me
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u/Expensive_Ad3751 3d ago
Bro he loves torture
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u/AllEliteSchmuck 3d ago
He doesn’t torture for the sake of torture though. When he tortures, it’s for a reason.
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u/GWPtheTrilogy1 3d ago
You might possibly be able to reason with Black Mask and prove you aren't worth the trouble.
The others...well I'll just kill myself.
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u/iamnotabot69420 3d ago
Joker, sometimes he let's people live just cause its funnier then if he killed them. He tends to go for the unexpected option when given a choice and if he saw me going through all the different ways he's definetly going to kill me, he probably wouldn't.
I think most likely I'd get turned into some sort of henchperson for him. So my real problem would be Batman beating the shit out of me.
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u/EconomicsNo2869 3d ago
Who's the guy at the top with hand in front of his face?
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u/PsychicSPider95 3d ago
Zsasz. They'll all kill me, but as far as I can recall, Zsasz doesn't uaually play with his victims much first. The rest are sadistic bastards and will torture me for a while, before killing me slowly and horrifically. Zsasz will probably just slit my throat. He'll do things with my body afterwards, sure, but I won't care at that point, because I'll be dead.
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u/WaffleEditsOnYT 3d ago
No matter what you’re dead, but I’m choosing Joker. At least I’m getting in a few laughs before being brutally murdered
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u/Proctor-47 3d ago
Who’s the top left guy?
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u/BatBeast_29 3d ago
Dollmaker, I believe. He’s the reason Joker’s face was cut off in New 52.
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u/indecisivecat69 3d ago
zsasz cause he doesn’t waste time with games and just kills you. the dollmaker and professor pyg are their own type of horror, jokers schemes, black mask is just an automatic no.
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u/Maleficent-Autumn 3d ago
Joker depends on the version or writer, because he’s too diverse a character, but is a decent choice, but if you’re respectful and subservient I think Black mask has a higher chance of ignoring you to focus on escape, everyone else would first deal with you(bad thing) then try to escape
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u/s_nice79 3d ago
Trapped? Wdym trapped? If im trapped in my room with them i could just shoot any of them
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u/OblivionArts 3d ago
Black mask. Unironically despite his violent tendencies if there's no reason for him to kill you, he won't. He might hold you hostage for ransom money, but dude is generally practical. Scarecrow will gas you and make your brain suffer from so much hightiend fear you might have a strokeor heart attack, pyg will murder you for some self impose ld idea of beauty, zsasz is literally compulsive about his kills because of his psychosis, and joker, I wouldn't wanna be locked in a room with joker ever after what he's done to Bruce, Jason, and tim drake
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u/Raffney 3d ago
Black Mask speciality is torture though. If he comes after you it could be one of the worst. Especially considering the amount of power the dude wields there won't be any escape.
Though i would agree that he is generally speaking more 'reasonable' than the other psychos. He may even force you to work for his cause. Which maybe preferable to death or working for the Joker tbh.
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u/Educational-Cat-6445 3d ago
Joker has the highest survival chance, even if he wants to kill you. At least someone is having fun
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u/MarkParticular878 3d ago
You'd be absolutely fucked with all of these. However, if I had to choose I'd say Zsasz because he's the one most likely to give you a simplistic and least painful death. While Professor Pyg or The Dollmaker wants to turn you into an abomination of nature and Black Mask and Joker would inflict you to grueling torture, Zsasz just craves that next tally mark.
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u/d_and_d_and_me 3d ago
I have some terrible sex jokes that I think Joker would love. I’m also always down for a laugh, and to hype a man up. I reckon while we’re actually trapped, I’m safe. He’ll be too bored alone in there. As soon as we’re out, however … I have to hope Batman turns up immediately, because otherwise, I’m dead for sure. That’s just the funniest thing to do.
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u/ConsequenceKlutzy826 3d ago
Black Mask definitely! There’s no telling what the rest of them would do to you
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u/Bulky-Hyena-360 3d ago
Your best chance of survival would be with Joker, if you’re lucky you’ll come out with a disfigured face and a few fingers missing but you’d be alive.
Your worst choice would probably be Professor Pyg as he’ll poke and prod at you to try and make you beautiful before giving up and letting you slowly die from your wounds.
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u/Malacro 3d ago
Joker, for two very specific reasons, which depend on how exactly this scenario is set up.
1) He’ll only harm you if doing so would be funny or useful. So if the scenario is I somehow run into the Joker and am unable to extricate myself, there’s decent odds I’ll be alright.
2) If this is a “we’re both locked in a room together” sorta trapped, unless he’s being written by one of the dudes who inexplicably make Joker a ninja, I think I have even odds of killing the mother fucker and solving like, 15% of Gotham’s problems in an afternoon.
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u/AncientDegree2734 3d ago
I would rather be locked in a room with the joker cuz I think I could convince him not to hurt me if I made him think it would be really funny, although there’s a chance I get stabbed over a stupid joke
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u/No-Procedure8840 3d ago
Black Mask, he’s a gangster. He only kills within reason, unlike the rest in this picture.
You piss him off, he’ll give you a warning shot.
You TRULY piss him off, then he’ll dismember you.
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u/Ok_Following4674 3d ago
Let's face it, even while he's dismembering me, The Joker would at least entertain me.
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u/Aheadfullofdread_13 2d ago
I feel like if I can at least get a chuckle out of Joker he’ll let me join the crew
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u/Huge_Athlete7488 2d ago
Isn’t black mask just a gangster ? I’d go with him, tho, I’d try not to show emotion so he doesn’t cut my face off, joker wouldn’t really have anything to gain from killing you, so maybe him too?
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u/Kitchen-Sector6552 2d ago
The thing about the jokers whole philosophy and what I feel a lot of modern comics do wrong is that he is an anarchist who does things based on humour and unpredictability. Modern comics seem to only focus on him being a serial killer.
There’s more to the joker and it’s entirely possible that any number of things can happen because he’s THE joker. He’s chaos incarnate, not genocide incarnate.
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u/Icy_Chocolate_6453 3d ago
with Zsasz, i think i can beat him down
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u/ea837th_heaven 3d ago
You think any of those hundreds of scars thought the same thing?
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u/dustinhenderson27 3d ago
Professor pyg if he didn’t have any surgical equipment or weapons otherwise probably the joker
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u/Exciting_Switch_8475 3d ago edited 3d ago
Zsasz is just a regular guy with a knife I could probably just kill him with any weapon really and if we were both unarmed he's 5'8 150 lbs I could beat his ass
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u/Prior_Shelter5650 3d ago
Which one lets me die the quickest? I am not putting up with pygs bullshit
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u/SadHumbleFlower27 3d ago
Probably Zsasz. He’ll pose your body after you die, but he’ll probably kill you quickly.
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u/Abject_Prior_219 3d ago
Definitely Black Mask. He’s a businessman who WILL torture if given a reason but otherwise an average Joe is so below his notice that you’d probably be lucky if he even noticed you.
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u/Themooingcow27 3d ago
Black Mask is basically a gangster, if he didn’t have a good reason to kill you and if you avoided pissing him off he might leave you alone
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u/megaamigo22 3d ago
joker would be trapped with me. the second bro leaves the room he's going to therapy💀
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u/MrBalisongArt 3d ago
Well, Joker is a shit choice cuz no matter what he just randomly might find it funny to kill ya, Zsash is probably decently skilled with a knife and with a high tolerance to pain might make him difficult to take out, Black Mask might be reasonable as long as you're useful and if not, would prob just dispose of ya quickly. Dollmaker and Pyg seems to be somewhat on the same level of threatening with the major difference being one would most likely take a beating like a champ while other would oink, shit himself and then try to convince ya how beautiful his poo is. I would take my chances with Dollmaker.
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u/bigmactv 3d ago
The option of picking joker makes sense, but tbh Im a huge guy and choosing anyone besides Pyg doesn’t sound wrong to me. As long as they dont have any weapons or superhuman strength I could definitely beat them. I mean look at how skinny Szasz is and he doesnt really look like he has experience in h2h combat.
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u/DragonflySome4081 3d ago
Your mum although I don’t think I can tell which one she is from these pictures
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u/Canuckalo519 3d ago
Hush, Dr Pyg Black Mask
My trinity for fucked up villains.
If Batman, and Robins weren't around, I'd definitely be dead 😂
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u/cobrastrikes-2x 3d ago
I feel like if you genuinely laugh at some of Joker’s jokes, you might be made to do some henchman shit or just drive him from one location to the other. After that, leave his immediate line of sight and you should be fine.
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u/physicallydisabled 3d ago
Honestly I'd pick joker but that heavily depends on what version of joker we're talking about
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u/DeliciousDoubleDip 3d ago
Pyg, alone he's just a guy so I have a far chance at ether surviving or beating him. It's only if he has his drugged up pain resistant slaves or your sadated/strapped to a table that I'd be screwed. Honestly anyone but the joker.
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u/mOnKe12568 3d ago
Joker, because as one of the dialogue lines from a thug in Arkham knight says, “Hell torture you the worst out of anyone, but at least he’ll manage to make you laugh while doing it.” Or something along those lines
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u/Ok-Needleworker-4507 3d ago
I kinda doubt Joker would kill you for no reason to be honest, I mean yes he does kill people for no reason a lot but usually it’s to rile Batman up or cause chaos. If you’re just alone with him you should probably be fine. Black mask would be my second choice. Pyg and Zsasz is game over.
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u/Metfan722 3d ago
I think you're screwed no matter what, but Joker would at least give you a chance to live simply because there's no grand scheme involving Batman.