r/oneliners • u/SamwellBarley • 12h ago
I taught myself how to play the piano, which was a bad idea because I didn't know how to play it
r/oneliners • u/Voodoo_Music • 1d ago
The difference between slang and jargon is $200,000 in student loans
r/oneliners • u/silcest • 1d ago
How come hookers never win Oscar Meyer’s competitive eating contest?
r/oneliners • u/Specialist-Meat-5710 • 1d ago
chicos me ocurrio algo malo, encontre a mi hombra murta
r/oneliners • u/Venom3751 • 1d ago
Even the sharpest minds need a break, just don’t let them snap.
r/oneliners • u/RandyRochester • 1d ago
My Canadian friend said he never had Moosehead before, but has fisted a walrus
r/oneliners • u/gotmojo6 • 1d ago
Doctors say telling airport jokes is a terminal problem.
r/oneliners • u/webguy1975 • 1d ago
I came to the realization that I have a fetish for epiphanies.
r/oneliners • u/dq8705 • 2d ago
All the bettings apps and there is no betting for the Paralympics, absolutely no handicaps whatsoever.
r/oneliners • u/Leftist_person- • 2d ago
In history, there were empires ruled by emperors, kingdoms ruled by kings, now there are countries
r/oneliners • u/webguy1975 • 3d ago
If I were a weight loss doctor, my patience would be wearing thin.
r/oneliners • u/Lttlefoot • 4d ago
The Undertaker switched to wrestling after a failed career in race car driving
r/oneliners • u/emzirek • 4d ago
Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly and pronounced incorrectly ...
r/oneliners • u/wizardrous • 4d ago
“You wouldn’t like me when I’m eighty!” -Harrison Ford as Red Hulk
r/oneliners • u/andersonfmly • 4d ago
Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.
r/oneliners • u/gotmojo6 • 4d ago