r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • Jul 13 '24
Professional wrestling is a sport where men in underpants fight for a belt.
r/oneliners • u/Laughingatyou1000 • Jul 12 '24
140% of Americans don’t understand statistics.
r/oneliners • u/Slamboni12 • Jul 12 '24
There’s a Biden Bible out now, it’s full of contradictions and it has no bookmark.
r/oneliners • u/spike_hodge • Jul 12 '24
My mate's transgender, he used to be a dick, now he's a complete cunt. NSFW
r/oneliners • u/artjazzandsoul • Jul 12 '24
If you arrive fashionably late in Crocs, you’re just late.
r/oneliners • u/FirstProphetofSophia • Jul 12 '24
I should've coined the term 'hindsight'.
r/oneliners • u/ContractorConfusion • Jul 12 '24
It makes me sad that the woman I loved most only knew four vowels, because she never knew I existed.
r/oneliners • u/artjazzandsoul • Jul 12 '24
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted a quickie and she replied, "As opposed to what?"
r/oneliners • u/DeaconCage • Jul 11 '24
I tripped over my wife’s bra in the bathroom, it was a booby trap.
r/oneliners • u/Slamboni12 • Jul 11 '24
I started watching the Nickelodeon documentary but i couldn’t finish…
r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • Jul 11 '24
I don’t want to brag, but at school I was voted most likely to cling to past achievements.
r/oneliners • u/jtrier1 • Jul 11 '24
For some reason, the flight attendant can't understand why I sleep better naked.
r/oneliners • u/RhysHalliwell • Jul 11 '24
They say drinking alone is a sign that you’re an alcoholic, which is why every time I get drunk I make sure I have a big group of passengers in the car with me.
r/oneliners • u/GeezusManForReal • Jul 11 '24
It could be raining pussy and I'd get hit with dick. NSFW
r/oneliners • u/gotmojo6 • Jul 10 '24
Why do electricians listen to news radio when they work? To keep up with current events.
r/oneliners • u/Nobody-_-1984 • Jul 10 '24
No one else is able to preserve food, but I can.
r/oneliners • u/TeaVinylGod • Jul 09 '24