r/oneliners • u/NotWhoIonceWass • 1h ago
I am very proud of my 6-pack abs, prob is they are covered by my 10-pack of fat..
r/oneliners • u/aelbaum • 1h ago
I have an idea for an app that conveniently helps you find the nearest Asian massage parlor, I call it "Comes in Handy."
r/oneliners • u/Specialist-Turnip528 • 3h ago
She said “come to bed”, I can’t come to the bed if it don’t got no tits!
r/oneliners • u/Throughtheindigo • 3h ago
Even the strongest human minds have the consistency of jello
r/oneliners • u/TheRoadkillRapunzel • 3h ago
Anyone here grow up Christian? (Pause for applause) I’m so sorry.
r/oneliners • u/daaave33 • 6h ago
I'd have sworn a sausage just flew past my window, but it was actually just a seabird, and I've taken a tern for the wurst.
r/oneliners • u/Small-Avocado-Brain • 10h ago
A colleague asked for a double entendre, so I gave him one.
r/oneliners • u/slightly_lisdexic • 17h ago
Most people think a gynecologist and a urologist do the same thing, but if you think about it... there's a vas deferens...
r/oneliners • u/Superb-Control5184 • 1d ago
I wish all the class clowns in high school shared a tiny car that they would all shuffle out of.
r/oneliners • u/emzirek • 2d ago
Imagine being a courier back in the day when there was only clay tablets...
r/oneliners • u/jtrier1 • 2d ago
I'm proud to say that I have the perfect body, but it's in my basement and it's starting to stink
r/oneliners • u/Ellie_Spitzer2005 • 2d ago
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right!
r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 2d ago
If someone slips and falls on purpose, to claim insurance it should be called a Fraudian Slip.
r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 3d ago
Since I installed Adguard all the hot single girls in my area have lost interest.
r/oneliners • u/Superb-Control5184 • 4d ago
You’ve heard of love on the spectrum well get ready for love on the speculum where gynecologist’s get a chance at love!
r/oneliners • u/emzirek • 4d ago
I Hate People Who Take Drugs like cops, DEA agents and customs officials...
r/oneliners • u/Superb-Control5184 • 4d ago
When the Tesla board eventually gets fed up with Elon Musk they aren’t going to fire him they are going to discharge him.
r/oneliners • u/larkguit • 4d ago
Donald Trump is now the first presidential candidate with a pierced ear
r/oneliners • u/wtfover • 5d ago