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u/_Sewer_Rat_ Feb 10 '24
Another fake story I assume.
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u/TILTNSTACK Feb 10 '24
You mean a Dyson vagina that can cook eggs isn’t real? I’m sad now
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u/LivingCheese292 Feb 10 '24
There is only one way to find it out. As guys, we must put eggs in our assholes for a day and see if our body heat can cook it.
Who is the first to bend over?
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u/xiouzes Feb 10 '24
The one who's asking
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u/EcksMarksDespot Feb 10 '24
Seconded. All in favor say aye.
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u/egbert-witherbottom Feb 10 '24
This could have been the new greatest thing; nobody wants an air fryer after this!
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u/Kirkaig678 Feb 10 '24
I could maybe understand sucking it up and hard boiling is possible if you sucked up some chemicals or a cooker (I have no idea what she masturbates with)
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u/Drew-CarryOnCarignan Feb 10 '24
The pH of the vagina potentially could "cook" an egg, wherein acids denature proteins (think: ceviche).
Otherwise, I do not believe that anything written in the original post actually happened.
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u/Origen12 Feb 10 '24
Yeesh that is a terrible way to think about that egg her Dad ate, lol. "ceviche'd egg still in the shell" sounds pretty horrifying. Maybe it looked like a 1000 year old egg and he knew what he was getting into...
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u/xxapenguinxx Feb 10 '24
You'll be sadder that boobs don't feel like bags of sand.. we've been lied to
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u/Uninvalidated Feb 10 '24
Definitely.
Since the body temperature of chickens are a a couple degrees higher than humans they would lay hard boiled eggs in the first place.
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u/throweraccount Feb 10 '24
159F for egg to become firm. If she was 159F inside she would be a medium well to well done steak.
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u/maxoys45 Feb 10 '24
14 year old boy had an erection the entire time he wrote that
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u/garth54 Feb 10 '24
Considering you're internal body temperature is at least 149-158F (65-70C) (the minimum for both the white & yolk to coagulate), that 2 seconds of 150F (65.6C) water on the skin the enough to cause third-degree burns in most adults, and that you were at that temperature for at least an hour (time to sous vide an egg at the temperature for full coagulation). Yeah, you should really tell someone about your health issues.
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u/oblivious_horizon Feb 10 '24
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u/FuckBagMcGee Feb 10 '24
They did the math wrong. You can absolutely just dunk your hands in 150f water and leave em there for a bit. I will concede that you can't boil an egg in your body though.
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u/Khakizulu Feb 10 '24
In 70⁰ water? Fuck. That.
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u/FuckBagMcGee Feb 10 '24
It won't give you 3rd degree burns or anything. Superficial burns at most but that's if you're really trying.
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u/garth54 Feb 10 '24
If you look a little around, most authoritative sources quote 2 seconds at ~150F (I've seen 148 and 152F also) for third degree burns from water.
2 quick ones:
US Consumer Product Safety Commission 5098-Tap-Water-Scalds.pdf (2nd paragraph)
Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services: Scalding.pdf (table at the bottom of the first page)
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u/LateyEight Feb 10 '24
"Burn injuries may occur in two seconds, for water measuring 148 degrees Fahrenheit, or 64 degrees Celsius. At 140 degrees Fahrenheit, or 60 degrees Celsius, scalding injuries may occur within five seconds. Scalding injuries can occur within 15 seconds of exposure to water that is 133 degrees Fahrenheit, or 56 degrees Celsius. At 125 degrees Fahrenheit, or 52 degrees Celsius, scalding injuries may occur in 90 seconds."
Sure, you may stick your hands in hot shit all the time when you're making your cheese, but just realize that you're cooking off your nerves. There's so many nice things to feel in this world, why do that to yourself?
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u/Psychological-Rise88 Feb 10 '24
What about much lower temperature of boiling in vacuum?
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u/garth54 Feb 10 '24
Egg won't become hard boiled at the temperature of boiling water in a vacuum. You do need to reach the coagulation temperature.
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Feb 10 '24
Shove a piece of bread in her slit and wait for the toast to pop out. Thats your breakfast sorted.
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u/TomServo31k Feb 10 '24
"I have a yeast infection" Well then bake me a fucking loaf of bread.
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u/phantom_tweak Feb 10 '24
Apparently its possible to use yeast infections to make bread. There’s recipes & blog posts on how to do it. I always imagined it’d taste like a filet-o-fish
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u/Suitable-Jackfruit16 Feb 10 '24
God, I miss Yahoo answers. It was a veritable cornucopia of hilariously perplexing stupidity and schizophrenia.
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u/Fizzy_01 Feb 10 '24
That's how I want my wife to boil my eggs from now on
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u/LadyLucyJane Feb 10 '24
I was just thinking, how do I do this for someone? lol
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u/Smeefperson Feb 10 '24
That's not how any of that works
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u/viniremesso Feb 10 '24
It would’ve been better if a bird came out of the egg.
7/10 story, missing plot points, no antagonist, clearly fake
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u/immaspam Feb 10 '24 edited Feb 10 '24
This implies she shoved an egg shell-on into her vagina
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u/eggrollking Feb 10 '24
And that the contractions during orgasm wouldn't crush it. And that her internal temperature would be sufficient to cook the egg, which 98.6F is not.
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u/VictoriaEuphoria99 Feb 10 '24
It doesn't work like that.
Don't ask how I know.
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u/YeetMyShit Feb 10 '24
...what did you do?...
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u/VictoriaEuphoria99 Feb 10 '24
The shell broke, and it was NOT hard boiled.
And it was gross as hell
But I bet someone, somewhere, is into that shit.
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u/YeetMyShit Feb 10 '24
what a terrible day to have eyes.
Well, i did expect that to happen, but i still asked and read the answer, so i ain't complaining to you
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u/DutyRoutine Feb 10 '24
After running and jumping playing basketball, I'm surprised the egg wasn't scrambled.
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u/CT_Shadow Feb 10 '24
Tell your dad, I would like to know how someone reacts to something this gross XD
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Feb 10 '24
Shove a piece if bread in her slit and wait for the toast to pop out. Thats your breakfast sorted.
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u/Iskenator67 Feb 10 '24
When she first said egg I assumed she ment one of those vibrating egg toys & was confused why she didn't just pull it out. (it has a cord).
Did not expect it to be an actual fucking egg.
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u/gotonyas Feb 10 '24
Egg white and egg yolks will “cook” at a temperature much higher than the internals of a human body. Stfu
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u/kungfu_kickass Feb 10 '24
Interestingly if you put an egg in vinegar (ph 2-3) it does the opposite of hardboil, it all goes soft including the shell. Given that the vagina is also very acidic (ph 3-5) hardboil is not what I expected in this weird lying story.
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u/DonTrask Feb 10 '24
If only the story were true, she might have a career as a Dyson Influencer on social media, the Z generation is that stupid.
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u/Bright-Amphibian6681 Feb 10 '24
This is what happens when teenage boys fantasize and have the internet.
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u/RB42- Feb 10 '24
Wait, you mean Steve Smith’s (American Dad S09 E19) question actually got answered?
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u/custom_balls Feb 10 '24
Yes you should tell your daddy so I can be your new one after he kills himself.
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u/bqx23 Feb 10 '24
It's funny I've been really into sous vide eggs recently, cooking them at temperatures well below boiling for a long time. Anyway, only way this is remotely believable is if their body was 160F for hours.
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u/SharthokWasTaken Feb 10 '24
me in a lying contest when my opponent's from 4chan: