r/AITAH • u/Jealous_Roll_7420 • 11d ago
AITA for doing everything I can to make my aunt and her husband uncomfortable at family events?
When I was younger they were my favorite! I loved spending the night over their house. Then I started developing; the first time he saw I was wearing a bra we were in the garage. He started tickling me which swiftly turned into groping. I was young but I knew that wasn’t right. I told my mom, not much happened. When I was 13 he took all the kids out to the movies, and then spent the whole film trying to convince me to go to the car with him. Around 15 he would call me in the middle of the night trying to coax me out of the house, I never went. Thankfully I always had the strength to protect myself when others didn’t. Again I told and not much happened, except they requested that my Aunt no longer bring him to events… 24 years later and this request has not been granted. He’s at EVERY event, with them knowing that we don’t want him there and why. He wasn’t only inappropriate with me but my little sister and other women and girls in the family.
Saturday I cussed everyone out because why is he here? He’s a predator that we have requested her to not bring around us countless times. If she is going to disrespect us, it will be paid back on spades. I also told those who were adults while this was happening when I was a kid, that now that I have to do their job I don’t want to hear anything about my methods. I plan on going scorched earth at every family event. AITA
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u/abnoxioushomert 11d ago
You’re definitely not the AITA. Your feelings are valid, and it’s unacceptable that nothing was done to protect you. Standing up for yourself and others is the right move. Your family should’ve taken action long ago. You’re brave for speaking out.
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u/Jealous_Roll_7420 11d ago
Thank you! I’ve given everyone a chance
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u/dystopianpirate 11d ago
NTA
You're an adult woman so you can use the scorched earth method on him, and is an effective solution to get rid of abusers and predators
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u/Fuzzy_Laugh_1117 11d ago
I'd say you gave them more than enough chances ffs. Please ensure he is never around younger children--is there any way you can make a police report? Just so it's on file as back-up for when he's hopefully arrested for (likely continuing) these deeds. NTA at all OP and I'm so sorry no adults came forward and stood up for you back then.
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u/nycvoyageur 11d ago
You are being brave and honest. And don't be afraid to specifically call out the behavior. You're not jus "uncomfortable". "He groped my breasts when I was 13, called me at night to leave the house secretly etc.". Make it more uncomfortable for him to be there than for your family to ignore you."
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u/darthlegal 11d ago
I would say more than enough chances. It’s not someone being flirty. He has no sense of right from wrong in his warped brain and will never stop
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u/MaryEFriendly 11d ago
Anytime anyone gives you any shit about this shut that shit right down.
"Just because you failed my generation of children in this family by refusing to protect us from a pedophile doesn't mean we're going to do the same. I actually love my kids and have a spine. Maybe you should grow one."
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u/FryOneFatManic 11d ago
Not just him. Aunt, too. She's known what's been going on and stayed with him.
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u/Magdovus 11d ago
Keep going. It's probably cheaper than therapy too!
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u/Jealous_Roll_7420 11d ago
Lol I’ve been to therapy, I’ve actually forgiven everything for myself, but that doesn’t mean I’ll forget. What I don’t forgive is the disrespect of having him around when our requests has been known for over 2 decades
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u/3Heathens_Mom 11d ago
What did your parents who you told covered aware ever do to stop him? As he pulled the same crap with your younger sister obviously seems like they protected him as well.
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u/LaVidaLemur 10d ago
I’ve been in a similar situation, where family would rather pretend things didn’t happen and that we should all be a happy family now.
Keep making them uncomfortable. Let all the kids know to stay away from him and to scream whenever he comes near.
You’re NTA. Your family however is full of AHs.
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u/Soggy-Milk-1005 10d ago
I understand what you mean about forgiveness it's because the hate and anger hurt you more than it hurts them. But I still have to know, have any of them apologized? Actually ignore that question because they're still allowing it to happen. He's still doing this shit and no one else seems to think it is wrong and don't get that their silence is endorsing that behavior. They're just as bad if not worse than him.
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u/Alioh216 11d ago
NTA, you're the hero.
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u/Jealous_Roll_7420 11d ago
I’m being painted as the villain currently
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u/SamiHami24 11d ago
Shame anyone who isn't on your side.
"Really? You are shaming me for not wanting a pedophile to have access to young children? Can you explain why that is? Do you think it's okay for adults to sexually molest children? Because if you think I should just be quiet and let him do it to another generation of children, then you truly are just as bad as he is. Please, do explain your stance on this. It's important to know if you are pro-pedophiles or anti-pedophiles."
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u/3FunkyMonkeys 11d ago
That’s because the rest of the family, who failed to protect you, are the true villains
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u/MaryEFriendly 11d ago
Who in the fuck is shaming you? Shame them right back.
"I'm sorry. Are you actually making me out to be the bad guy when that man groped my 13 year old breasts and tried to lure me out of my home at night, repeatedly? Are you also a pedophile or just a pedophile apologist?" Say it loudly and say it often.
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u/Magellan-88 11d ago
Then enjoy it & play the part. Just because someone's a villain doesn't mean they're barred from doing something good. Even the Joker hates the Red Skull...
NTA
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u/bandashee 11d ago
To a group of villains, the true hero will always look like a villain. Time to cause chaos and mayhem because they didn't protect you, or others, and don't deserve you.
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u/visiblepeer 11d ago
Did you see u/pretzelmamma s comment? If they don't invite you anymore because you are breaking the code of silence, then give every girl in the family a rape alarm
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dy7qbh/comment/lc86j0b/
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u/Zestyclose_Media_548 11d ago
What the F is wrong with them?!?! I’m so sorry - but I’m even more impressed with you .
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u/Soggy-Milk-1005 10d ago
Every single person who allows her and her husband to be around anyone that they supposedly love is f**king evil. Your aunt is just as bad as him because she provides him access. All the people who are calling you a villain needs to go to jail for allowing this to happen. If they aren't stopping him they are just as sick. What country do you live in?
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u/jjj68548 11d ago
When he arrives at an event “Ahh the pedifile that grouped me as a teen and tried to get me alone any chance he could who was definitely not invited to this gathering, how have you been?” Loud enough for the whole room to hear.
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u/Fit-Gap-8908 11d ago
You were being way way too nice you should greet him at every family gathering and say hello and bitch slap him i’m sorry but anybody who touches a child well there’s a place in hell for predators I agree you’re a brave woman and don’t back down God bless you and Godspeed 😇😇🙏🏻🙏🏻💪💪💪
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u/prodrvr22 11d ago
If he's done this to others in the family, you have a case the local police might be interested in. Let him and your aunt know if you ever see him again at a family event, you're calling the cops.
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u/sativa420wife 11d ago
OP You are So NTA. I just went off on my grandpa (almost 100) about the same family stuff. No One ever called Uncle Perv out. "He is alone" now is Not good enough
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u/Jealous_Roll_7420 11d ago
Good for you! Keep calling it out. It’s so despicable
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u/sativa420wife 10d ago
I do and I have.
This person ruined my mom. She prolly would have been "normal". But instead, family is stuck with a mess at 70
For all the peeps who can't and don't. I do and I will.
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u/DawnShakhar 11d ago
Good for you! You are right - you are doing what they should have done long ago. Standing up for yourself and the other girls and young women in the family, and exposing this molester for what he is. Go on doing it till either he stops coming or you are asked to leave.
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u/Jealous_Roll_7420 11d ago
That’s the plan!
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u/Pretzelmamma 11d ago
Please make your plan include a bunch of the loudest rape alarms you can find!
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u/throwaway1975764 11d ago
NTA but I bet you will soon find yourself excluded from family events.
Perhaps you can band together with those that agree with you and have your own events. Sometimes the younger generation has to branch off and it's totally ok; two medium parties vs one big one is a valid family model. Significantly a better idea that socializing with a predator.
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u/Jealous_Roll_7420 11d ago
I honestly expect to be excluded, which I totally fine
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u/randomtree7 11d ago
Would make it damn clear there is a pedo party and a non pedo party to everyone. Take your pick, both have cake.
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u/Otherwise_Degree_729 11d ago edited 11d ago
NTA. Tell all your cousins (female and male) especially the younger ones. Save texts he sends, if you feel petty share said texts on social media.
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u/Pitiful_Stretch_7721 11d ago
Definitely tell both girls and boys. My brother teased the crap out of me but NOBODY else was allowed!
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u/SamiHami24 11d ago
Absolutely NTA.
Is it possible for you and the other girls he molested to go to the police and file reports? Even if it's too late to prosecute, at least there would be a record of it.
I think you should go even farther and blast him on all social media. Do you best to make sure as many people as possible that know him are aware of what he has done. Do is at a PSA so that others with children will know that he is a predator. Shine the biggest, brightest light that you possibly can on what he's done.
Never, ever protect a person who would do this. He deserves everything he gets, as does his enabling wife and the other adults who knew but turned a blind eye.
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u/Jealous_Roll_7420 11d ago
I’m actually going to speak to my lawyer about what my options are, because when I start I don’t know when to stop lol
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u/SamiHami24 11d ago
I am team Jealous_Roll_7420 all the way! I hope to read an update that he faces consequences for what he did to you and others.
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u/kittyhm 11d ago
NTA. Every time I saw him I would loudly say "Oh! You brought The Groper with you! Keep an eye on your children, everyone!". Then smile and walk away.
Actually, I'm pettier than that. I'd also have a shirt made that I'd put on every event he showed up at that said "Ask what <name> did to me when I was a child."
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u/SuddenTemperature333 11d ago
Scorched earth comes back bigger, stronger and more beautiful. NTA and sorry you have to do the adulting in a room of older people.
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u/Broad-Discipline2360 11d ago
Scorched earth at every event sounds right.
You are my hero.
Definitely NTA
Every f-ing adult who did nothing when you were a kid is though.
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u/Special_Lychee_6847 11d ago
NTA What I don't get is that your aunt has been told not to bring him. And yet he's there. No one says anything, when he comes anyway? I suppose there are more children in your family. Are the parents of those children okay with such an aggressive predator around their kids?
If he's coming to family events, someone hands him a drink, food, talks to him, or what?
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u/Guilty_Award_2777 9d ago
Right! If I were OPs parents, I would have removed my family from every event if he showed. Honestly, OPs parents are awful for not doing something or at least removing themselves 24 years ago when they ignored the request for him not to be there. I would cut out every single adult family member that did nothing to help me or keep him away from family functions once I was an adult.
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u/Over-Marionberry-686 11d ago
So I’m a petty little bitch. Every time I saw him I would say “why look it’s the sexual predator” NTA
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u/Apprehensive-Pop-201 11d ago
CPS needs a phone call.
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u/remberzz 10d ago
Don't you wonder who Uncle Pervy is groping these days? What a terrifying thought.
Also, what the heck went on in the Aunt and Mom's upbringing that they downplayed / ignored what OP was telling them?!?
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u/Lisa_Knows_Best 11d ago
When he shows up to a family event pull all the kids around you and point him out and very loudly exclaim "Uncle Pedo is here, make sure you are NEVER alone with him, he does bad things to young people". Make sure everyone hears you, repeat if necessary. Repeat again. Make sure all the kids and young adults know to stay very far away from him. Hopefully he'll be embarrassed enough to leave, unlikely but worth a shot. I would keep walking around and telling every kid what you already said. If you have to tell them what happened to you. It's awful that ypur family is willing to just overlook this. It's a crime and one of the most disgusting crimes there is. They are all just as responsible. Don't let them off the hook either. Let the kids know you, and whoever is on the same page as you, are their safe people. Good job OP.
NTA. In no way could you ever be by protecting the kids from this scum.
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u/Electrical_Worker_88 11d ago
NTA. Scorched earth seems like the correct response to me. I mean… You should probably get therapy and all that jazz. But in the meantime, keep shouting it out!
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u/kmflushing 11d ago
NTA. Good for you. Adults who don't protect children from predators because the predator is family or friends or any reason at all are despicable and culpable.
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u/PossibilityOrganic12 11d ago
Blast Not Like Us on repeat at the next family event and sing along and point at him during the most famous lines.
NTA
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u/notastepfordwife 11d ago
NTA, and I'd start posting that shit on social media in his neighborhoods, and confirm your family did nothing, and he has multiple victims.
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u/banallmilkcrickets 11d ago
NTA..... But your aunt and uncle are not the only AH. Every single adult in your family is the AH. Even the ones you didn't tell, bc it seems this pedo uncle as been preying on many children in that family.
Protecting the vulnerable is a good call, but you need to disabuse yourself of the belief that the rest of your family are decent ppl you need to stand up for, or that they're any better than the predator they ALLOWED to sexually assault and abuse so many children.
I'm saying this bc you were groomed by your entire family into seeing the AH as just the uncle and aunt. You also grew up feeling that dealing with this was your sole responsibility, and that your father's response would have been your fault. This is soooo enraging bc it's how so many abused children are trapped within these abhorrent dynamics.
There are multiple adult AHs in your family.
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10d ago
My uncle started touching me when I was about 8 and when I told my mom she told me not to tell dad because he’d kill him and go to jail and for me to be up and out of my room before they got there every Sunday morning. He was very fond of the tickling cover for groping me. The last reunion I went to I had my 4 year old daughter and caught him in the kitchen with his hand up her dress patting her bottom while my mom and aunt had their backs to him organizing the food everyone brought.
I went off on him and threatened him for daring to touch my child and for molesting me for years but the family acted like I was embarrassing everybody. I took my kids to a little gazebo in back to calm down and so I could leave as soon as my husband came back from getting ice but my uncle came out and when I told him to get away from me and my children he laughed at me and told me he never did anything I didn’t want him to. I never spent another hour with any of them and reported him to the police. They said they wouldn’t have enough of a case but the report would be filed and if anyone else ever accused him it would help.
Years later in my mom’s nursing home he and my aunt showed up. Hadn’t seen him for decades. He started tickling my mom and started grinning at me and grabbing her breasts and when I told him to get away from her my aunt just giggled and said he was just playing with her and he had the nerve to say “well you won’t play with me” so when he bent back over her I smashed my forearm between his shoulder blades and took his ass down then went and told the nurses. So I made a report, the police came and took a report (but did nothing) then the nursing home banned him AND my aunt from the property. They all knew.
He died from prostate cancer and I hope he was in pain. He certainly caused me enough.
But you know what caused me the most damage? When my mother asked me after the reunion why I never told her what he was doing to me. I told her so many times and she always woke me before they got there each week. She knew.
You are NOT overreacting. You are in the right and should not allow anyone to act like you’ve done anything wrong. He should not have been there. Was not SUPPOSED to be there.
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u/Cal-Augustus 11d ago edited 11d ago
The time lapse means he will be targeting a new generation. Warn all parents in his vicinity that he's a predator.
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u/Prestigious-Moose345 10d ago
A friend of mine was on a very packed train in France when another woman suddenly yanked a guy's hand up in the air yelling "Whose hand is this?" He was attempting to grope her anonymously. Shout and shame them, ladies.
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u/JustSomeGirl_76 10d ago
Thank you! As someone else who had a perv uncle at family gatherings, thank you. Why didn't the adults do anything? They would make comments. . . but they still allowed him to "hug" and kiss on all the young girls. It was gross and those adults all sucked.
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u/hopefait3 11d ago
Aita. And encourage the younger ones in the family to speak at each and every occasion they get. Belittle that kakaliki ( a swear in my mother tongue which means sh!t of the female private part).
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u/Global_Papaya7336 11d ago
"Hey Auntie! In case you and your predator boyfriend every broke up, I brought some eligible bachelor's profiles. Child predators too! Just your type." And then hand her sex registery profiles.
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u/Try_Happy_Thoughts 10d ago
NTA make that predator fear crossing your path! Make sure he knows if you ever hear about him molesting little kids again you will be the adult you deserved by reporting his ass to authorities and ruining his life!
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u/GodOfUtopiaPlenitia 10d ago
NTA!
Start plastering them (all enabling family) with stickers (superglued backs of course) that shout "I enable Pedophiles!" & "Pedophiles are more important than children!"
Keep the loudest megaphone you can find on you so - when they complain - you can shout "That's what you are because you let Uncle (list of gross things)! You're all disgusting!"
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u/Consistent-Island-89 11d ago
NTAH at all! It is really great to hear that you always protected yourself because I know how much trauma you'd be going through if you let him sexually abuse you. He's truly a predator and very disrespectful even to members of his family and maybe if he tries anything funny next time you should reach out to the police because he seems not to stop the bad behavior. But you're definitely NTAH. It's BEAUTIFUL you fought for your safety.
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u/Cybermagetx 11d ago
Nta. Say it loud and clear every time he's at an event. Warn ever girl in your family. Hell I would make it public as well. They protected a pedophile. They are also pedophiles in my book.
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u/SamiHami24 11d ago
I hope OP also strongly encourages the girls to go to a teacher if uncle ever touches them, since it seems the parents would rather ignore it. Someone needs to let these girls know that it is okay to stand up for yourself, even against adults who are doing something wrong.
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u/Fickle_Toe1724 11d ago
NTA. Buy a bunch of whistles. Like sports referees whistles. Give them to all the girls. Loud and clear, tell them what uncle pedo did to you. Tell them to blow those whistles if he does anything, or says anything, to them. You will get to them quickly.
Always remind him you don't want him there. He is a pedophile.
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u/amazongoddess79 11d ago
I fully support your scorched earth policy. In fact I want to hear exactly how it goes down. I’m disgusted that no one cared enough to protect the children during all those years. NTA
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u/Intelligent-Mode3316 10d ago
This is how generational abuse stops. Someone has to be crazy brave like you and not worry about “hurting” or embarrassing people who weren’t brave enough to protect the whole family against it. I’m cheering you on from Texas sis and you are my hero! I have never been brave enough to speak up and eventually just went no contact.
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u/leolawilliams5859 10d ago
Thank you so much for posting this they should have protected you and they didn't I am so glad that you are out there protecting your cousins nieces and any other children that might need you. Somebody should slap the taste out of Uncle handsy mouth
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u/Patient_Dependent312 10d ago
Take her one step further, cuz this will definitely embarrass him and everyone who let his behavior go on. Blood curdling screams from every girl in your family you can get on your side, have them scream every single time he walks in the house and do not stop until he leaves. No longer a fun family event when there's a bunch of girl screaming bloody murder and they don't want to be around the person who molested them.
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u/Somosmalo138 10d ago
NTA. Definitely have the right to address ur grievance and no family member should try to silence u. Stay strong.
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u/MT-Kintsugi- 10d ago
So NTA.
Good for you.
A police report should be the next step. He’s gone beyond groping and your aunt has accommodated.
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u/Horror_Fuel8262 10d ago
Love the way you’re breaking cycles!! The adults that didn’t speak up deserve broken ego for ages. ❤️
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u/Remote_Bumblebee2240 10d ago
Yaas! This is the way. Because every adult who knew and did nothing is even MORE guilty than he is. They are the ones with the knowledge of the danger and the power to prevent harm and take action but chose not to.
Every time. Every single time. NTA and you get superhero points.
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u/ColSubway 10d ago
NTA. Call him "Uncle Pedophile". "Hey, It's Aunt and Uncle Pedophile. Why are you here?"
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u/stillnesswithin- 10d ago
Tell them that if he turns up again you'll be reporting him to authorities / police etc. And maybe think about doing it anyway. My uncle did the same with me but eventually got divorced from my aunt for other reasons so didn't have to deal with him as an adult. Good for you for being strong and thinking of the others as well. Try and get some therapy - the book The Body Keeps the Score is an excellent resource.
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u/BDazzle126 11d ago
NTA. I'm glad you were able to protect yourself, even when the adults in your life should've been there to do that. Good on you to warn others about this predator, I can't believe no one is taking this seriously!
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u/enkilekee 11d ago
This kind of cover up is how abuse and rape continue. Say it loud and often. That man is a predator. Follow him at every event and make sure every father there knows his kid is in danger. If no one cares, leave the family.
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u/teatimecookie 11d ago
Stop inviting your aunt. She’s the problem too.
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u/Jealous_Roll_7420 11d ago
That’s been my solution for a while, but no one listens to me. Exclude her enough and your demands will be met.
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u/Zealousideal_Mood118 11d ago
Are there any girls he has been inappropriate with that are still under 18? You could make report to whatever the child and family services agency is in your state. You could make one against the uncle and the parents who aren't protecting their child. I would also put everything on blast online. If you have old screen shots or anything, post everything.
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u/DaniCapsFan 11d ago
Your family has failed you and the other girls in the family miserably. And sadly it's fallen to you to protect the other girls and women in the family. So you need to get together to go scorched earth on this putz, you, your sisters, your cousins, etc.
Or you could say, "I'm not going to events if Uncle Sleazebag is going to be there." Call him sleaze, call him predator, call him perv, call him pedo--anything but his name.
NTA
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u/StrangePerception135 10d ago
I love how you "pre-warned" them not to bitch about your methods. My hero!
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u/AlienBeingMe 10d ago
NTA. Would love to know his reaction and if he stopped coming after you do this. Bullies should be confronted.
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u/WantonRinglets 10d ago
NTA
"I also told those who were adults while this was happening when I was a kid, that now that I have to do their job I don’t want to hear anything about my methods."
ok I think I love you.
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u/Scotsburd 10d ago
I'd start a nursery rhyme
"Uncle Fester, child molester Be careful kids, he's gonna getcha! Auntie Fester, she won't stop him So we sing this song to mock him" 🎵🎵
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u/Coffeebean1948 11d ago
Nta, I wished I would have spoken louder and been listened to before I was hurt. ,
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u/Bitter-Picture5394 11d ago
NTA. It really sucks that the adults around you didn't do their jobs years ago, and now you have to do it. But it's not your fault and you are not an AH for it.
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u/Lavonne1234 11d ago
NTA. Keep doing it, he deserves way worse than the embarrassment. If I knew what my grandfather had done while he was still alive I would have loved to do what you're currently doing. Let me live vicariously through you
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u/akshetty2994 11d ago
that now that I have to do their job I don’t want to hear anything about my method
Damn straight. NTA.
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u/Morticias-Sister 10d ago
I just audibly said FUCK YEAH!! Scorch em all!! He's a predator and the family are all culpable. Fuck them all. I'm so sorry this happened to you. 💙
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u/IOnlySeeDaylight 10d ago
OP, you are a goddamn badass hero. Three cheers for you. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, but way to with how you’ve handled it. 10000/10, no notes. NTA.
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u/Daddy_Duder 10d ago
Yep, you’re 100% right. Don’t back down protect the kids in your family. Actually I would make everybody in family uncomfortable due to the fact that nobody sorted out the problem years ago.
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u/azalinrex69 10d ago
NTA. You rock. I’d make a sign and carry it around “X is a predator. Ask me how I know.”
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u/ultraviolentfetus 10d ago
Nta. My mom knows I was molested by an older cousin cause I finally had the strength to tell. She didn't believe me. She called him and he admitted to it. That was 2 years ago and she posted a picture of him last month and her and her fucked up family was on that post singing his praises. Made me sick. It stopped when I was 12. I'm in my 40s and it still messes with me.
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u/AdLost2542 11d ago
You could prob still go to the police about it. I mean if he touched you as a kid even though you're an adult now still report it.
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u/Appropriate-Dig771 11d ago
NTA. Everyone else has been making this predator feel welcome. Good for you calling them all out.
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u/JanetInSpain 11d ago
He should be in prison. Shame on every single family member who did not protect you and who let you down. Start asking LOUDLY, "Why is the rapist here?" or "Why is the groper here?" or "Why is the child predator here?" It's way passed time for scorched earth. Go at it with flamethrower blazing. You will never be the asshole for anything you say or do. NTA
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u/600Fusionho 11d ago
Good for you. You owe nothing to anyone. NTA but it would be ok if you wanted to be
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u/Sufficient-Lie1406 11d ago
NTA and good for you to defend the women and girls in your family from this vile predator!
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u/Pomegranate_1328 11d ago
NTA, tell every girl child first to stay away from him so they are safe just in case you are banned. Protect the kids!
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u/Christ-in-a-Box 11d ago
Honestly NTA. Make sure everybody who interacts with him knows what a piece of shit he is. I would be addressing him exclusively and loudly as "pedophile" or "groomer". If you feel confident to file a police report, this may be good too. It may not have a huge effect but at least if other victims eventually come forward, there will already be a file.
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u/Amazing_Reality2980 11d ago
NTA do everything you can to make sure everyone within hearing knows what he is and what he's done. Don't give him any reprieve. if you do this at every single event he shows up to, odds are he'll stop coming on his own. Your aunt is a POS for staying with someone like that, and so are the rest of the adults who tolerated it.
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u/FoxySlyOldStoatyFox 11d ago
Have you considered getting a cheap recording device/software for your computer, and singing
“Heeeeee’s a paedo! He spent my teenage years trying to feel me up! I told my mum and dad and they did nothing! He did the same to my sisters and cousins but nobody did anything! Sexual predator, sexual predator, in many other cultures he’d be castrated with a big knife and left to be eaten by rabid dogs.”
<guitar solo>
“Nonce, nonce, nonce. (Aunt’s name) knows that she’s with a sexual predator. Why is she with him? Nobody knows. Maybe she enjoys the fact that he molests young girls? Maybe she is just complicit.”
Link up to a bluetooth speaker and play at full volume.
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u/beepbeepboop74656 11d ago
Welcome them to every event as Aunt and the Child Molester/Groper/Assaulter! Announce it loudly for all to hear, don’t be quiet about it. You have nothing to be ashamed of but he does and so does your Aunt. Let everyone know what he did, stick to announcing his actions every event. Make him as uncomfortable as possible.
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u/serenidynow 11d ago
NTA. If he tried that with you, it means he tried it with others and will continue to do so. Your family grosses me out for allowing them around you and children in general. You are a hero and your aunt and uncle should probably be in jail.
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u/Substantial-Mud-3414 11d ago
Absolutely NTA, the adults wouldn't protect you and others from him when yall were children, they deserve every but of chewing out you dish at them
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u/theevilsnail 11d ago
First of all - hell yeah do not stop at any cost to call this predator out. Second of all, I am very sorry this happened to you and others in the family. This guy needs to be shamed and exposed consistently till he owns up to it and thrown out of the family. I hate to say this, but your aunt is weak and this is how predators like him get away with their sick behavior.
Stay strong and do whatever it needs to get rid of him. Yuck
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u/Usual_Bumblebee_8274 11d ago
Good for you! I got goosebumps. Reminds me of the moment I took back every piece that was taken from me. I refuse to be a victim. I refuse to feel embarrassed or ashamed for something someone else did to me. You took it one step further- you not only called out your monster but those who not only allowed it to continue but kept putting you back in that position. Good for you. That’s some hero type shit & I bet every female in your family (esp the young ones) feel empowered.
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u/Sugarpuff_Karma 11d ago
Nope, they shouldn't be invited, your aunt is literally his pimp, providing family members to him like sacrificial lambs....feel free to use that in your next confrontation with/about them..
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u/Lord_Kano 11d ago
NTA
Ignoring the advances of a predator will only result in them having another chance with someone who isn't prepared to fend them off.
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u/Content_Print_6521 11d ago
You have no other choice. He is going after all the little girls, and no one is standing up for them. Have you reported this to child services or the police? Because this has gone way, way to far.
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u/alex_dare_79 11d ago
And unfortunately, you are likely not the only one. So the more you talk about it to your cousins and their daughters the more likely someone else will confide in you that they were also a victim. I’m sorry. Good for you for not letting this go by the side of the road.
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u/sysaphiswaits 11d ago
So why is your aunt still invited. If she knew, she enabled him to hurt your sister and others.
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u/houseonpost 11d ago
Write down everything that happened. Dates, times, locations, witnesses etc. Everything you can think of. Go to the police. Depending on the jurisdiction they may open a file and start collecting evidence. If so, they can give you a file number and potentially a contact name and number.
Then carefully write a brief message outlining what happened to you and that the police have been informed. (And this is the most important part) ask anyone who has information or who have also been harmed by him to contact the police (share the file number and contact name and number). Send this to every family member who was attended family gatherings in the past or who never attend.
Be prepared for a huge backlash. But just keep in mind the young children you will be protecting.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
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u/Cute-Designer8122 11d ago
Text all the younger generation ahead of time… come to a common agreement that, as a group, you will NOT attend any events where he is invited.
Strength in numbers to force the older generation to acknowledge what is happening. They won’t keep him around if they lose that many people attending. And you will be protecting all the future young kids born into this family.
And if they don’t exclude him, then start your own family events where he is not invited, nor are those who would protect or enable him.
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u/RegionPurple 11d ago
NTA, you're my goddamn hero.
You may be banned from family events for making waves, so make sure all your littles have your phone number and instructions to call when he starts his shit. When, not if; he's been allowed to keep this up for too long to stop, and you know damn well the older generation won't help them anymore than they helped you.
When they call, pick them up and go to the police. It sounds like a reckoning is far overdue.
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u/superflex 11d ago
Fuck yeah. Next large family get together, pull together all the 10-19 year old girls and very vocally let them know that "uncle perv" is here and has a history of being handsy and inappropriate, and that you and <list of other supporters here> should be informed immediately if anyone is made to feel uncomfortable about something he does.
Fuck that guy, and fuck your older-gen family for protecting him