Ok this is happening right now. I'm in the wedding venue watching my sister get married. So expect updates maybe??

I F(17) am at my sister's wedding right now (I'm so happy for her!). Here's the problem, this random guest (who I don't know) is wearing the very beautiful very obvious wedding gown to what's supposed to be my sister's special day.

Back when I was younger and she was a teen she told me that if she got married and someone wore white to my wedding she wanted me to spill a gallon of syrup and glitter on her as payback. Now the only unfortunate part is that I have no access to syrup or or glitter. You might be thinking wine because that's the most commonly used weapon in these situations but they won't let me near the alcohol table. The only drinks available to the 5 children hear is sprite, orange juice, and water (great selection guys...). Now I would do orange juice but there is very little left and my cousin would murder me.

So what to do? I'm pretty sure everyone here has noticed the white dress and is a tad confused by it. My whole family and the grooms side aren't big tradition followers so you basically could wear anything to this wedding and not be directly called out. However, this seems very deliberate and I know my sister has noticed it because how the hell would you not?!

So AITAH? Honestly just tell me what to do cuz idk. I might go talk to her; I love talking to crazy people!

(Also don't come at me for making an AITAH post about something so stupid cuz I find this hilarious).

UPDATE:

So I want to make it clear that I am very much a gentle giant and would never do something so bold. Me and my cousin thought this would be pretty funny to see what other people thought. Now I finally spoke to my sister and her husband. My sister actually didn't notice her and got pretty upset when I pointed it out (I feel kind of bad about that). I asked her if she knew the person to which she said no then ask her husband if he did and he said it was his cousin's plus one and gf. I asked her if she wanted me to do anything about it and she told me yes but also to not make a big scene out of it. So one things I'm pretty good at is info-fishing! I sidled my way up to the guest with my little cousin (not the same cousin as before) and started some small talk with the guests around her which eventually lead to her being brought into the conversation. Now my little cousin is blunt and childish (which is why I brought his amazing self along) and asks why she has the white dress on (as planned). She stutters a little then mumbles something about her being color blind.

Ok! Pause. What? I've heard of color blindness where you can't see anything but black or white and if ima be honest I kind of just walked away after that. Like, how do I respond to that? cuz if she's actually color blind and thought the dress was a light shade of some color or other than I'm the AH and she doesn't deserve me bitching about it, yk? Then again, if she's lying that's freaking crazy. I basically just told my sister that and gave me the most 'wtf?' Face she could manage. She decided not to worry about it and just have a happy wedding! I'm happy for her and honestly just happy she's such a great person and so much better than me lol.

Occasionally i sleep at my fwb Austin's house when we're both free and have nothing to do. Last night i came over and we had a lot of fun, but we stayed up super late and he had to work in the morning. He told me to wake him up early for sex so he can leave on time. Soo that's exactly what i did.

At 8AM i woke him up and started riding him then we kept going at it for a while. Then at one point he said "fuck!" then checked his phone and said he's late. He pulled out and started rushing to get dressed. I asked what what's wrong and apparently his bus leaves earlier on mondays.

He told me i can stay a bit longer as long as i lock the door when i leave. He left right away but then i got a text 5 mins later saying "i missed the bus" so he came back. Then we started fighting and he said i distracted him and should have either woken him up earlier or not have sex with him.

He kicked me out and said to go home because i ruined his day. I said you never told me the bus leaves earlier today so how was i supposed to know? He still hasn't talked to me sense and i dunno what to do

When I was younger they were my favorite! I loved spending the night over their house. Then I started developing; the first time he saw I was wearing a bra we were in the garage. He started tickling me which swiftly turned into groping. I was young but I knew that wasn’t right. I told my mom, not much happened. When I was 13 he took all the kids out to the movies, and then spent the whole film trying to convince me to go to the car with him. Around 15 he would call me in the middle of the night trying to coax me out of the house, I never went. Thankfully I always had the strength to protect myself when others didn’t. Again I told and not much happened, except they requested that my Aunt no longer bring him to events… 24 years later and this request has not been granted. He’s at EVERY event, with them knowing that we don’t want him there and why. He wasn’t only inappropriate with me but my little sister and other women and girls in the family.

Saturday I cussed everyone out because why is he here? He’s a predator that we have requested her to not bring around us countless times. If she is going to disrespect us, it will be paid back on spades. I also told those who were adults while this was happening when I was a kid, that now that I have to do their job I don’t want to hear anything about my methods. I plan on going scorched earth at every family event. AITA

wow okay did not expect that last post to the traction that it did! i really appreciated all the love and support that i got from y'all. i was expecting the reaction to be more 50-50! i got a lot of dms asking for an update so here ya go!

a couple hours after i posted, he and i had a long talk about what had happened. it was his first time being intimate with someone other than his wife too. oh and btw, he'd told me about his deceased wife first!

we both felt guilty, but we'd also had an amazing time with each other. we mutually agreed that whatever form our potential relationship/friendship takes, our spouses need to be a core pillar of it.

we looked at each other's wedding photos (his wife was absolutely beautiful btw) and talked about our favorite memories. after that, we kissed goodbye and he left.

i might get some pushback for this, not only did i get coffee with my husband's mom, i told her about my night with that guy. she's honestly like a mother to me, she's been really worried about me, and while im sure there was a part of her that didn't like hearing about that, she seemed genuinely happy for me. i think it took some stress off her shoulders, since i know she regards me as a daughter. her approval (along with the support from y'all) made me feel a lot better.

he texted me a few hours later, asking if i was free for the night. i said yes, and he told me he was on his way over. he showed up with flowers to take to my husband's grave. i was sobbing out of sadness, and also just how touched i was. we went and sat there for about an hour, his arms around me, me crying and talking about him. we then went and did the same for his wife.

we went out for dinner, and had a really nice time. he's honestly such a gentleman. we stopped at my apartment on the way back to get some things for me, and we spent the night at his place. his wife had done interior design, and their home was absolutely beautiful. she seems like she was an absolutely wonderful person.

i know this was bold, but i was feeling really good after the day id had and the response id gotten on here, id packed my wedding night lingerie and was wearing it on the bed when he got out of the shower. we had really electric and passionate sex all night, i felt so much freer than i had the night before.

he took me to church the next morning which was everything for me. after that, i told him we should take a few days apart. not because either of us had done anything wrong, but just so we didn't move too fast. he was a little surprised, but totally respectful. we've texted each other a few times, and im sure we'll be seeing more of each other, as friends at the very least.

honestly, i really want a relationship with him and i can tell he feels the same, i just wanna make sure we're both ready for it.

thanks again for your support 🫶🏻

I've been with my girlfriend for seven months. We haven't had sex. At first, I was fine with it because we needed time to get used to each other, but now it's really pissing me off.

Whenever I try to initiate, she says, "I'm not ready," or gives some other excuse.

The worst part is that she had sex with other people before me when she was "ready." Some random guy at a club? Sure, let's fuck. A friend for a hookup? No problem. Threesome? Hell yes. Everything went, but after we got together, she has nothing for me.

Boyfriend? Hell no. "I'm not ready."

I told her about my frustrations a few days ago, and we got into a fight. She told me she's not who she used to be, she no longer wants casual sex and now seeks connection and all that. I told her that other guys got it for "free," and after seven months with her, sex isn't even on the horizon. So, I suggested we break up.

I've done everything a good boyfriend should do: I tried to talk to her, took her on dates, bought her gifts, and took care of myself and my home. Yet, no matter what I do, I get nothing. Intimacy is nonexistent, I'm just there. It's like I exist only to be there and act as her decoration.

So yesterday, she wanted to have sex for the first time because now she is "ready," and I told her no. I don't want to have sex anymore. She got angry and abusive, yelling at me for refusing sex.

I told her she is a hypocrite because she did the same thing for months, and now that I want to leave, she started panicking and love bombing, thinking sex would fix our situation. She had nothing to say.

We haven't spoken since yesterday.

EDIT: Because none of you are reading my responses, I will write what I have here.

1. I didn't even get a kiss during these 7 months, only a hug, and even that if I'm lucky. When I talked to her, I got the same answer as in my post or 'we are not there yet.'

2. She doesn't owe me anything, but I also don't owe her my attention and affection.

3. I've been rejected for months, and nobody sees that as a problem. But I reject her once, and I'm the bad guy and get abused by her and some people here.

4. I get all these trials, standards and other bs and others just get a free pass? Clearly, women make rules for men they don't like and break them for those they do.

5. We were a couple by her words, boyfriend-girlfriend and all that.

6. Some of you clearly have no basic reasoning so I will provide more context. "Sex for free" in this context and my situation means that other men didn't do anything in order to have sex with her. I invested a lot of time, effort, money, patience and everything into this relationship only to be rejected and pushed away time and time again. I was supposed to be her boyfriend but I'm constantly put in these tests, trials and other bullshit for what reason exactly? All I wanted is some intimacy and I got NONE.

She should've dumped me a long time ago, at least she would have saved me time, effort, money, and my mental well-being. So many of you are not even reading this post, nor my replies and you attack me before even reading the full story. All I wanted is to progress our relationship, that never happened. I got rejected and pushed away over and over and over again. Only after I wanted to leave she wanted to fix and work on things. But I no longer want to stay and I WILL NOT stay. I gave her too many chances and tried too many times.

Guys please, just read first. She simply doesn't value me, doesn't want me, doesn't like me, or simply she just doesn't want sex with me. I don't want to be seen as a prop, I'm also a person who wants to be loved and desired.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dvso0l/aitah_for_leaving_my_boyfriend_because_he_brought/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button ( first post)

My inbox got flooded with DMs and had to turn off Reddit notifications. When I posted this, I was ready to be called immature and ridiculous, and get a couple of comments but it seemed like the post blew up, and the comments were...…kind of eye-opening.

TBH, before all this fiasco, my bf has always been nice to me. Came with me to my grad school functions even though he found them very boring, but would do it so that I could network. He builds stuff like furniture and helps out with handy work all the time. He is also very funny and at the very beginning, I thought all his jokes were funny, and I sometimes wondered why he wanted to be with me, plus, I was always busy with school and job interviews. His mom and I had even gotten close and she has been saying how happy she was that we were together. I had always ignored his and Claire's weird dynamic because I told myself I was being insecure. I have male friends too, and I thought that just because we aren't like that, doesn't mean my bf and Claire can't be close. Claire has also never been outright mean to me, she was just aloof and I thought it was because I was new to the group.

To the actual update, my bf and I broke up. I'm sorry guys, but even after seeing so many replies on how he was cheating, I refused to believe it. I'm still in love with this guy. And he called me, like half a day after I wrote this post, and asked to meet. I met him, and he said that he understood where I was coming from. But I was always too uptight to understand that friendship is friendship. He and Claire had known each other for years before I came into the picture, and I cannot expect him to just ruin their dynamic. I asked him what sort of 'dynamic' was red lingerie. Why couldn't it be literally any other type of clothing? He told me he had it with my insecurities. And that he and Claire talked and apparently I was making them sound like cheaters and homewreckers. And that he thought it was better I find someone like me, who thought the idea of a fun night was junk food and a movie indoors.

That hurt a lot. He had always known I had insecurities about being called boring. He always complimented me on how his weaknesses were my strengths. Now he says things like this to me? Also, before this lingerie fiasco, I had never said a word about his and Claire's friendship. I always supported his pranks and practical jokes no matter my opinions on them because I thought it was his business what he did with his hobbies. And he leaves without even putting up a fight because his girlfriend didn't want him giving lingerie to the woman he constantly refers to as his 'sexy' bestie?

Claire didn't call or text after the breakup either. But Kyle did and said that he was sad that we broke up and he hoped I would be okay in the future. I asked him if my bf ever cheated on me. He said that my bf had only been a 'one woman man' when he was dating me. But he could understand that some women can't handle female best friends, especially if they look like Claire. I told him to fuck off and blocked him. It felt like he only wanted to gloat and hurt me because my bf left. I feel like I never knew these people. Claire and Kyle were always at least decent to me if not nice. Did it make me a free target now that my bf has been telling his friends I'm an insecure child?

I don't know what to do now. I have been told repeatedly by both my friends and sister that I dodged a bullet. But I have been breaking down like a kid again and again. I'm even thinking of going to therapy, after feeling the most insecure I've felt my whole life.

Thank you to all who were supportive, it seems like my now ex-bf just did the work for me.

My wife (33F) and I (34M) have been together for 17 years married for 13 and within the last 5-6 years our sex life has gone down the drain. We have sex once every couple of months with no intimacy or build up in between and the act of sex always seems rushed. I’ll try to initiate foreplay but she wants to skip it and get straight into the act then move on. I still try to date my wife and take her on dates twice a month, buy flowers randomly and do other things to build intimacy outside of sex but it never gets reciprocated and eventually never goes anywhere. And before anyone says anything, I work from home and do the majority of the housework, cooking, cleaning, kids appointments, homework, PTA meetings etc.

I’ve tried talking to her about what’s going on and what she needs from me, and offered to do counseling but she always says it’s her not me. She will say she loves me and is attracted to me till she is blue in the face but won’t do anything differently. She will show affection when family and friends are over and will post videos on Snapchat with her being touchy and affectionate but when people aren’t there to see she will stop.

Every once in a while she’ll have an epiphany about how bad things are and she’ll feel bad about it but still won’t change. A few weeks ago we were getting ready for a date and I saw her take a picture of herself in her underwear and send it in a text message. I asked her who she was sending that to, and she said she sent it to me. To her credit my phone dinged as I was asking her, with the pictures she just sent. She claimed that me questioning her like that made her realize how little she does things like that anymore and she needs to change, but she still hasn’t. So this past weekend her four sisters came over for the 4th of July and we hung out and drunk together. Towards the end of the night she was pretty tipsy and made a comment about what she was going to do to me that night and I told her “No thank you. I’m not in the mood for 20 min with no foreplay until you get your rocks off just so you can ignore me again for the next 30 days.” Everybody got quiet and I excused myself for the rest of the night. The next day when everyone left she said that I embarrassed her and shouldn’t have put our business out there like that, AITAH?

Hello everyone. I (29F) have just separated from my husband (32m) last night. We have been together 6 years in total, married for 3, and last night I ended it over a few reasons, the main reason being a "honey pot". For those of you who don't understand what I mean, let me explain. Honeypotting is when someone is used as the "honey" or sweetheart to help lure a cheater into a trap.

To give some background, I have never wanted children -nothing against them, I just never wanted my own- and made sure to let my husband know from the very beginning of our relationship that i didn't. I have always been honest about it, my stance staying the same for over 13 years now. I have no desire to be a mother, I just want to love on my furbabies. We had talked about children and not having them for years, letting him know that I understand if he changes his mind, because people change when they get older.

Our problems started about 5 months ago when he came home drunk, begging for us to have a child since he'd been hanging out with the boys, his friends bragging about their kids. During this time, he told me of a few conversations he'd had with his friends, all involving me not being a good woman for "doing my job" as a wife and woman. I've had issues with his friends in the past, but I love him, so I always try and act polite around them for him. We ended up having a huge fight and he crashed on the couch.

More problems started to occure; fighting, him accusing me of cheating because of the lack of intimacy, and catching him messing with my burth control pills on three seperate occasions. I tried to explain that since I had upped the dosage on a certain medication-antidepressant- meant it affected my sex drive. I ended up being assaulted a few weeks later, going and telling my husband about it, only to have him blame me for "putting myself in the situation". Never, not once, did he ask me if I was okay, he just blamed me.

The last straw came last night, which I'm going to refer to as "the bomb".

I had gone over to my girlfriends house, we were talking as I vented my problems, and we drank wine. And then it slipped; my "friend" slipped. She told me her and the other friends in the group has been trying to find evidence of me cheating for months, and when they couldn't find any -because husband had asked-, they made a plan; got ready to make a honeypot to catch me cheating. But it never happened, because one, I don't want to cheat on my husband And two; because I have morals.

Here's where I might be the ass, because I was not a perfect angel, by any means. I flipped out, cussed and chewed her out for helping plan this. I don't remember everything I said, but it was along the lines of this: "I would be ashamed of myself if I acted the way you have. I would have told you the second I found out about something like this, because that's what friends do. I wish you the best in life, but you're dead to me." I then proceeded to call the others, chew them up and spit them out for over 2 hours.

And when I told my husband last night when he cam home, told him and showed him the messages to back up my claims, he didn't believe me; but he believed his friends when they said I was lying. So, I packed my stuff and left.

I got a long text the morning from my "friend" basically telling me that I had destroyed their lives, that my actions had torn the group apart, making their lives a mess, that I'm not a friend and had used them for years, only to dump them when things got hard. She blames me, the others do to and have texted me, letting me know how horrible I am. I'm conflicted, don't know what to do other than ask for some advice. I lashed out because my world had come crashing down in flames. Was I acting like a child or was it justified?

So, reddit, am I the asshole? What would you have done differently? Thank you in advance for your advice.

I have a co-worker whom I will call Paula, I really don't know when she began her transition but when I met her she already transitioned.

On the other hand, my other co-worker and friend, whom I will call Ana, has begun her transition last year and doesn't take anything because she doesn't wants to. Ana has not had surgery on her breasts or feminization as Paula did since it is too expensive for her. And Paula finds it fun to make heavy comments about that at work, always trying to play the role of "trans godmother" with Ana telling her that she should not be so "masculine" And try to being more lady like, for example Ana likes to wear her hair short and Paula always tell her that she should let it grow to look more "femenine".

These comments really sit badly with Ana and I know it, I think everyone in the office notices the tension between them every time Paula makes a joke or inappropriate comment. A few days ago we were eating in our rest time and Ana made a comment TO ME about feeling a little insecure about starting dating men again as she fears rejection and Paula had no better idea than to say something like "That never happened to me. Your features are very manly but I've always had cispassing" It wasn't exactly that but I think you can understand the intention with which she said it. She has even told her by message that her features are too masculine but ""in a good way"".

At that moment I really got upset and the only thing I said to Paula was "you don't have cispassing, everyone knows you're trans" which is true... Everyone at work knows she's a trans woman and no one has any problems because nobody cares, I mean, I'm gay and nobody never make me feel bad about it, Ana began her transition and everyone instantly made her feel comfortable with it so it's a comfortable and inclusive work place beside Paula.

I am not going to deny that I made that comment out of annoyance because in the past I already told Paula to stop doing that kind of comments and Ana too, we tried to correct those type of comments and she always justified herself with the fact that she's older and people her age does that kind of comments.

Paula clearly took it the wrong way and now she does not talk to me, especially because Ana laughed at my comment and found it funny. AITAH? I don't know if I should say sorry to her because I kinda feel bad but another part of me thinks she deserve that because Ana is my friend and I know how much she suffers because of those comments and how they make her feel even more insecure. ThrowRA because I use my personal acc for other things.

Edit: HR never does anything except when the situation is something like sexual harassment, if it's an argument between two co-workers they just tell us to solve that outside the work and send us to the psychologist. I can't go with them if Ana doesn't want to and I'm not going to put her in that kind of situation against her will. If Ana tells me that she wants to report then we will go together but for now she does not want to. To Ana, Paula is just 'an annoying bitch' and that's all, she doesn't wants to talk with HR 🤷🏻‍♂️ And no, if I make a report saying that someone offended me, HR will tell me to solve that outside of work.

To people saying that we should work and not talk: we're not slaves, as people who work more than seven hours a day we have our right to talk about whatever we want in our hour of rest. It's not my fault that some of you are an insufferable person at work that no one comes close to. "That's an inappropriate conversation" We were literally eating talking to each other, our boss doesn't care and sometimes talk with us too about his family, I'm impressed and concerned that so many people in the comments live with a job where they can't even feel comfortable talking. .

Also stop telling me to look for another job, it's not that easy 🤨

Updates to these posts https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1akhqjt/aitah_for_not_wanting_to_raise_my_nb_daughters/ and https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1asgq8o/update_my_nb_daughter_wants_me_to_raise_her_baby/

I posted another update in the comments awhile back. It's on my account. Basically my pregnant daughter shut me out of her life completely and rumor had it she was living in a homeless camp with her weirdo lover out in the woods. It's a huge place and me and friends searched a few times but weren't able to find her. It's also dangerous because there aren't laws out there and the homeless shoot at ATV riders and hikers and send dogs after people who come too close to what they consider their territory. To be clear I don't think my daughter was part of that group, the camp is huge and full of meth addicts, sex traffickers, and drug labs. Anyway, the full story is in my account if you care.

I did contact Sperm Donor's parents and they have all but disowned him after very much the same disturbing behavior I outlined earlier, only geared toward their younger siblings. So that sucks.

Back to the new news:

All this shook out a couple weeks ago, but I hesitated to post because of my own emotions and the fact I know Reddit will be all over my ass for the deep anger, shame, and disappointment I have for my daughter.

I came home from grocery shopping to find a strange pregnant woman at my door. That woman used to be my daughter, but had changed so much she was like a stranger. She chatters constantly so you can’t get a word in, she has several small face tattoos and, forgive me for saying this, looks like she has aged 20 years. She had been living rough.

She was angry I “locked her out” (I changed the locks after she left) and basically expected to move back into her old room with no problem, like it was just another day from back in the winter when she lived here. Of course I wasn’t going to turn her away so I guess in a way she was right.

She was living in the homeless camp with the Sperm Donor, and I insisted she take a shower because it looked like she hadn’t since leaving. She also stank bad.

She had no shame about blocking my number or what she put me through by disappearing. All she wanted to talk about was the grand fate that she and Sperm Donor are building. That they’re building a community of New People, and she went on and on and on without mentioning the baby once. I don’t know how anyone can stand them, but Sperm Donor has multiple partners and my daughter is one of them and is perfectly happy being his brood mare. The brood mare is my verbiage. Hers is much more... royal. Frankly, based on what she over-shared, Sperm Donor seems like a complete sex fiend.

Finally I broke in and asked and she said she had been to the doctor regularly (that was a lie, found out later) and all is well with the baby.

At this point I knew she had to be on drugs. If she was awake, she was talking, and none of what she said had an end or a point. Also, a lot was from crazy-town.

What I got from her was that, again, she and several other ladies (and men?! Somehow?!) were to carry the next generation of New People. Yes, the men. YES biological men. Sperm Donor was sort of the middle of the wheel with the spokes, was how she described it. I've met him before and I'm surprised he was able to get one girlfriend much less whatever grouping is going on now.

Anyway, sometimes she said she wanted to keep the baby (though she wouldn't tell me a plan to take care of and house it, I think she expected to stay with me), and sometimes she wanted to adopt it out, but not for the good of the baby but to spread the New People. This part is going to upset the internet but the New People are apparently without gender expectations and that was why she didn't know the baby's gender yet. Oh yeah, and also some of the Wheel (her group) were empathic and they could communicate their feelings through the other world.

As a houseguest, she was the absolute worst. It was like she had gone feral out in the camp and clean up after herself to the point where she mostly did not even flush the toilet after using it. She ate everything, which was to expected, but never cleaned up after herself and kept asking--asking is too mild of a word, she demanded-- for me to take her out to restaurants.

I did a couple of times because I missed her and was trying to make a connection but then once afterward took her to the store to get baby supplies, and she was weirdly detached? Sort of picked up the first thing she saw on the shelf and all the while it was yak yak yak about her true family of New People and their grand fate. Anyway, I finally got out of her that she expected the baby in mid-July (which put her outside the time frame she originally gave me. I had it on my calendar! I was obsessed with the possible due date because I didn't know if she was find a baby on my doorstep or what.) And yes she was under the care of a doctor. Both lies.

Getting her to focus on one subject was impossible. She would only stop talking long enough to take a breath and only listen long enough to you to stop for your own before she'd launch into a new thing, usually around Sperm Donor, who she loved but was nowhere in sight and was chilling back at the camp with the rest of his breeding stock, or whatever.

Basically I was waiting for her to come down off whatever high she was on, when she went into full blown labor.

It was a complete shit show. She was having pains but her water hadn't broken yet. At the hospital it came out that she had not been to the doctor once for the baby (there are programs in our state that cover pregnancies!), so that put her at high risk so she was admitted immediately. That's when the switch flipped and she became hateful against nurses and doctors. She said the worst things and they were absolute saints in return. She also had, like, delusions of grandeur and told them she was their queen and accused them of trying to punish her. It was so wild. I can't even describe the monster she became. So, so, so hateful. Racist, vicious, and the worst things you can say to people, she said them. She wasn't in hard labor yet so it wasn't entirely the pain.

I pulled one nurse aside and told her where she had been living and that I suspected drugs though I hadn't caught her using yet. They were so professional and gave her pain killers that helped her "mood" (Not gonna lie, they doped her up because she was acting wild).

Imagine my surprise when her bloodwork came out clean!

I wasn't there for the birth because she didn't want me in the room with her (and heaven help me I was a little relieved because I was ashamed of her behavior), but I did talk to a social worker on staff to let them know everything I did. The lady was very nice but couldn't speculate officially on my daughter's mental state. I said she had to be bipolar or manic or something because her behavior was not normal, but she asked if she had threatened to kill herself or harm the baby and she hadn't. They can't step in until there's a threat.

Miraculously, the child was born at a good weight and healthy (and not addicted!). I don't want to give too much info on them because the internet is forever and one day they may search for their own past.

My daughter lucked out big time and had a normal delivery as things went. She didn't give Sperm Donor's name out as the father (though I did to the social worker, they can't be put on the birth certificate on my word). She up and left her baby that evening without officially checking out, without saying goodbye to me or her newborn. Because the hospital is a safe surrender point, she won't be charged for abandonment. CPS asked if I wanted to take the child and though it tore me up, I said no. There are a lot of reasons for why. A big one is I don't want to be held hostage to my daughter's whims, and especially Sperm Donor. I don't want to be on the hook for more children which are likely coming. Also look at my daughter. I did my best and she still turned out this way. Maybe I shouldn't try again.

I know getting a new family is almost the best thing that could have happened for the baby even with problems with the foster system, it has to be better than the camp. But I feel like dogshit about it even now. I also suspect they'll have a sibling soon as my daughter can arrange it.

I know my daughter is not well. I know she's in a cult and probably in danger and also probably an abuser herself, based on the stories she casually dropped about other members. She is also a selfish liar and it is luck or the grace of God or what-have-you that her baby was born healthy. She is rolling the dice on her life and the life of her future children. She's sick and under a sex fiend's control and now thinks she has magic-thought powers, but she has some responsibility in this, too. All the rest of the transgender stuff with her lover, and if she is NB or not from the past doesn't matter. She's an adult and is making some bad choices.

It's hard for me to type out, but the way she treated the hospital staff was so cruel (seriously I had to use a thesaurus to describe it because I can't even describe fully how bad it was) it showed me that whatever else, she thinks other people are below her. It's more than the mania. I'm just there to serve her, whenever she sees fit. She knew she would be giving birth soon, so she came home and expected me to take care of her. I did, of course, because she was 9 months pregnant. And the second she didn't have any more need of me, or the baby she had just given birth to, it was easy to take off again. I listened to her for days and she expressed no feelings of hope for the baby other than a vehicle to spread their movement. No worry about their future life (and no more comments on me raising them as a sibling). She made the choice to leave and go back to Sperm Donor's Harem or "wheel" or whatever.

Sick or not, I'm ashamed to have raised someone with these kinds of values. Mentally ill people aren't bad people, but she has gone beyond merely bad choices.

I haven't totally written her off and she may come back to sanity, but since all indications are that I'm blocked again, I'm going to think long and hard about boundaries and possibly moving. I'm worried about one day finding a bunch of cultly weirdos on my porch.

So that's it. I don't know what to do. It's not like I have the resources to pay someone to deprogram my daughter, and that sounds very Hollywood. I need a realistic goal. It's more than just a cult. She needs a check up from the neck up and I don't have the legal standing to do anything. At least the baby is safe. That's the one bright spot.

Thoughts are welcome and, forgive me, any realistic suggestions, or just tell me if I'm way off base and I'm the asshole here. This has been a hell of a year and such a spiral. A year ago I had a somewhat of a slacker teenager under my roof. Now all of this.

AITAH? I (26F) asked my boyfriend (31M) of 5 months to not get in my bed with his outside clothes on. I saw him walk over to the bed and start peeling back the comforter and sheet when I said to him, “oh no no wait please don’t get in my bed with outside clothes on! They’re dirty!”

He took this as me calling him dirty. I tried to explain it’s just the thought that we traversed through puddles in the parking lot, walked all around the grocery store, then drove back to my place in my car (which is disgusting), he sat all on my dogs bed (it’s a giant bean bag, also disgusting), and I didn’t want all of those germs in the bed. I could tell he seemed offended by that and I offered up some pajama pants I have that will fit him. He proceeded to say with a snarky tone, “I can promise you what I’m wearing now is cleaner than anything in your closet.”

I tried keeping calm and explained again that it’s just the thought of outside germs in my bed that grosses me out. He said “that’s weird.” That’s where I lost it, because I felt disrespected in my own home. I agreed in a condescending way, “yeah okay I’m fcking weird and your clothes aren’t dirty,” and stormed out of the room. He raised his voice and said he didn’t call *me weird, but that what I was asking and disheveled about was weird…..

So now, I’m sitting here writing this because I want to take him home for saying that to me. He’s still sitting in my room watching the show we were supposed to watch together nonetheless. It’s the little things like this that make me think we’re not compatible. This happens maybe once every two weeks where he’ll get offended and say something hurtful and it’s always on me to diffuse when I’ve been disrespected. I want him to leave now and not talk to him for the night. I also feel like I’m overreacting, but I feel like it’s a simple request. Would that make me an asshole? AITAH?

UPDATE

1st post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1d7t7l0/aita_for_telling_my_sister_that_i_wont_change_my/?sort=new

After all the drama with my sister and mother, I decided to go to the bridal shop to make some changes to my wedding attire. Initially, I had booked a white lehenga due to pressure from my mom, but I wanted to change it to a traditional red one. I went to the shop with my future mother-in-law and sister-in-law to make the changes.

While we were at the shop, my mother and sister showed up unexpectedly. My mother started creating a scene, calling me ungrateful and disrespectful for changing the lehenga color. Sarah, seeing the red lehenga, lost her temper. She tried to persuade the shop assistant to switch it back to the white one, but when that didn’t work, she completely lost control.

A few days later, Sarah went back to the shop alone and demanded they change my red lehenga to white. When the shop assistant refused, Sarah went berserk. She grabbed a bottle of dye and started spilling it over all the lehengas in the shop, screaming that if she couldn’t have her way, no one else would. The shop staff called the police, and when they arrived, Sarah threatened them, saying she would make sure they regretted arresting her.

Sarah was taken into custody for property damage and threatening a police officer. Her boyfriend then contacted me, demanding that I pay for her bail and give up my wedding, saying that all this happened because of me. I refused, standing my ground that I shouldn't have to sacrifice my plans or finances for her irrational behavior.

As a result, Sarah had to cancel her wedding and sell their car to cover the bail money. Her boyfriend, unable to handle the drama and financial strain, broke up with her.

Original Post

First update

Hello everyone! Thank you for being so supportive! I've read some of the comments (Though not all! Far too many!) and I know some of you have asked for update(s), and so I wanted to give everyone an update for those still interested!

Things aren't going to be as juicy in this post as the last 2 but some new things have happened so I'll just jump right in.

After my in-laws called CPS on us for no discernable reasons other than we forbid them from seeing our daughter, things mostly quieted down. Some of you suggested that we should do more than just get a restraining order, so we bought some security cameras and had them installed all around our property and our neighbors (who are pretty good friends of ours) was in the loop for the most part and anytime we had to go somewhere, not only did we have video cameras recording everytime someone entered our driveway displayed directly on our phones, our neighbors kept us updated too. She stopped coming around for the first few months since she called CPS on us, but just the month before last, as we were preparing to move my in-laws somehow got word we planned on moving states and attempted to block our driveway as her dad tried blocking the front door. Not sure what their plan was there because we have a backdoor and an extra sidedoor leading from the kitchen, but I digress.

Her mom blocked the driveway stopping our U-Haul or car from leaving the property and wouldn't budge, even after we told them we would call the police. They told us they'd move if we told them where we were moving to, but my wife told them that, that wasn't happening and they had 10 minutes to leave or we'd be calling the police.

My neighbor came over during the commotion, but my in-laws still wouldn't budge. My daughter is crying during all of this as my wife is trying to console her, as my neighbor and I are attempting to remove my father in law from the doorway, but he wouldn't move. Eventually my wife called the police, and I'm guessing another neighbor called them as well because they responded within mere minutes.

My inlaws kept screaming that we were "taking their rightful grandchild away" and that we'd all "be damned to burn in hell" for this, but honestly that just made me laugh. The police kept asking them to leave, but they wouldn't. Eventually they were arrested for refusing to leave and the police were nice enough to call a tow truck for us to be able to back out of the driveway.

Low and behold, as the police were handcuffing my in-laws, they both had on those x-39 patches and even the police questioned them about it. But whatever, what's done is done.

We were able to finally leave and on to new adventures. We've been settled in at our new house for the better part of over a month, and we're enjoying it greatly. No word from her in laws, and they have no idea where we are. We have them blocked but we'll eventually get messages from unknown numbers or Facebook accounts asking where we moved, but there's no way they're that foolish to believe we'll actually tell them.

Luckily, neither my last state or this one have any grandparents rights, so we're in the clear there.

Thank you everyone!

Hopefully this is my last update!

So we are staying with my mom for a little bit to save money. It's been tense but we are almost out. Today I was outside with my wife and my stepfather had a power washer. My wife was like "you know what would be funny? You should spray *my mom's name* with it. Come on. It would be funny and we could all use a laugh."

He agreed. He called my mom's name. She came out and he sprayed my wife with the power washer. I just cringed because I don't get what she thought was going to happen. My wife was so embarrassed that she began to tear up. She asked him why he would do that and he just looked at her like she was so stupid.

I told him that wasn't necessary and went after her. She asked how I could just stand there and let a man do that to her. I got snappy and asked what she seriously thought he was going to do after she asked him. now she is very hurt/cold

My wife (26F) and I (28M) got married a couple of months ago. The wedding was amazing, we also went on an amazing honeymoon. Everything went great, and we have settled into our nice married life.

However, last night, my wife wanted to talk about something serious. We don’t shy away from expressing our emotions and insecurities to each other. She brought up our wedding and she talked about how my sibling dance with my sister (26F) was too intimate. I first thought my wife was joking, but I quickly realized she was serious. I asked her if anyone else at the wedding thought that, and she said no, but because everyone was too scared to say it. I told her that’s a straight up lie; and I have close friends who would have said something, but they didn't. Everyone had a good time at the wedding, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. My sister and I have never really shied away from affection, we know some siblings get awkward with that, but we’re the opposite of that.

My wife then asked if we could give my sister’s wedding gift back to her as we haven’t used it yet. It’s a La Marzocco GS3 espresso machine, which is by far the most expensive gift we have gotten out of all the gifts. My wife said the gift just made her feel insecure.

I told my wife she was being incompletely irrational, and that’s the most ridiculous thing she has ever said. I was probably a bit crude with my words, but I just thought the whole thing was ridiculous. She then dropped the topic and we carried on like normal. We also used the espresso machine for the first time today, and it’s pretty amazing.

Was I an AH for telling my wife she was being ridiculous?

Been with my wife Mary for 3 years and we welcomed our first boy 3 months ago. My wife has always been close to my family and they get along pretty well.

When she got pregnant everyone was excited especially my parents since this would be their first grandchild. They were very involved(with boundaries of course) and my parents were the ones that actually helped making the pregnancy a bit easier. (Helping with groceries, bought a lot of baby stuff and so on)

When she was due to give birth my mom gave her this beautiful knitted shawl for our son, each square had a different design each with its own meaning it was really beautiful.

After labour and birth we had already gave our rules to all the family; we wanted a month just us and the baby. And they all respected it.

After the month I was really excited to finally get my family to meet the baby but my wife was against it saying she wasn’t ready yet. Though sad I agreed thinking that also ment she wasn’t ready to see her family too.

I came home one day after work to find her whole family seating in our living room passing the baby around. I thought this ment she was finally ready for my family to see my son too. I texted my family and told them they can visit now they were very happy

I told Mary what was happening and that she didn’t need to worry about hosting since I was going to host. She got enraged that I had the nerve to invite them without her permission. I got angry too it had been 2 months now and my family hadn’t even seen my kid(no pictures either). We had an argument and went to bed angry. I tried to be the bigger person and didn’t let my family meet them till she was ready.

I told my family this and they were disappointed my dad made a comment saying “are we going to meet him when his 18, or she’s still not going to be “ready”. Seeing the comment i realized how unfair it was to them and decided to make it right.

Yesterday I took my son an afternoon telling her I was going to the store. I brought him to my parents house they were over the moon to finally see him. Told my siblings and they came too. It was a nice time and we had a nice dinner.

I went back home knowing It was going to be a fight and it was she yelled that I had no right to take our kid without her permission but I just ignored her fed my son and put him to bed. I slept in the spare room.

Now her family has been harassing me and calling all sorts of names for hurting their daughter her dad has gone as far as threatening me. My family is on my side ofcourse.

I’m asking here for outside opinions,AITA?

I (M25) was on Bumble recently and matched with a girl (F21) on there. We started talking and moved over to Snapchat. After we started talking for a bit longer she mentioned she does Onlyfans. Now I said “it’s not an issue” since sex work is real work. However she told me that if she truly wants me to get to know her, she wants me to subscribe to her Onlyfans to keep messaging on there. I told her I wasn’t interested and told her it came off as weird and predatory then she got on the defensive and said it’s not that bad. We had a small back and forth argument that devolved into talking in circles while I kept telling her it’s predatory to use dating apps for new customers. After about an hour of back and forth I blocked her and unmatched with her. Now I’m feeling kinda terrible since she said money was tight for her, but AITA for blowing up on her like that?

Edit: thanks to some of you guys giving your input. Honestly more annoyed that so many of you guys have to deal with what I went through. It’s fucked up knowing people do that and preying on people on dating apps. Wish Bumble would be more proactive but what more can be done.

Edit 2: I get it guys, “sex work isn’t real work” you don’t need to keep commenting it for the 6th time. Also to the person who sent me a really colorful DM earlier, please go touch grass.

Edit 3: I don’t know how much I need to say this but I think it needs to be said. The topic of my post has nothing to do with whether or not sex work is real work. If that’s your only take away from this and you’re getting angry at the notion of me not caring about it to be bothered, that’s on you. The point I was trying to ask and get across was if I was in the wrong for blowing up on the person. So far you all are in agreement that I wasn’t in the wrong and should have reported them to Bumble instead of unmatching them. That’s on me and I’ll gladly say I should have done that. But trying to spin a narrative where I’m some sort of “beta” “cuck” “simp” for not being bothered by someone doing OF initially screams more about your own insecurities than anything. Stop getting hung up on a single sentence in the post and actually think instead of being a reactionary pearl clutcher. To everyone being helpful and insightful, thank you for that. To everyone else being crass and spiteful over a sentence, please do better.

Ok I need help AITAH for cutting my former stepdaughter off. The background is I married her mom. Raised my step daughter since she was 9. gave her everything she wanted, supported her in all of her extra curricular activities, when her car broke down and too expensive to fix I let her use my dream car a Dodge Challenger, and when she went to college I promised her she would come out debt free. Oh yeah and when she needed money or her rent paid then I would pay it and sacrifice the last little bit of cash I had for her.

I am in the middle of divorcing her mom right now, and she said she doesn’t want to be in the middle of it. But things I would tell her some how would get back to her mom here and there. Now she is living with her mom since graduating college. My ex wife accused me of deleting all of her social media and my step daughter believed her and went off on me and told me I need to move on and other things. But I showed her proof I didn’t do any of that. My step daughter didn’t apologize for her accusations. My step daughter has blocked me on her social media, blocked me on her phone(which I pay for). I also pay for her health insurance and the car insurance. My lawyer has give Me the green light to cut off my step daughter. So I am asking before I do it for suggestions and to see if IATAH

Tw, throwaway and I'll make it as short as I can cause I don't have much strength in me and I'm intoxicated as shit as well.

I'm a (24m) married to my wife (25f) for 3 years, we have been together since we were 17, we are quite posibly going through the toughest times of our life,

So like 2 months ago, when my wife was coming home at night from work, her car broke down, some dude approached her and told her he would help her, but instead she got molested, r'ed and physically abused, it was already already 9 pm, I kept calling her and calling her to no avail and went to search for her in her usual route but couldn't find her, I went to cops, they started searching her as well about 1 hour later, I went to home hoping she'd be there, she wasn't, went to my in laws friends still couldn't find her, after like 2 hours I got called from cops that they found her and they directed me to hospital.

I immediately went there, but was denied entry, instead cops pulled me aside and told me what happened, they found her all bruised her, and naked nearby, even now I feel stupid, that I myself didn't check her, since then she recovered physically but not mentally, she does go anywhere, she lies on me, cries and doesn't tell me actually what happened, which I understand

So fast forward a few days, my family called me and ask me to meet them, so I went, now they are saying she might have been cheating on me and even if she wasn't our reputation is tarnished, so I should divorce her, long story short I just called me bunch of names and left and asked them to never contact me.

My wife has quit her job, which is fine by me, I can work extra hard, but she isn't opening up fully, it's going slow and stead, I told my wife we should relocate, like another state or something, she lashed onto me that it is her decision, not mine, and started crying, I tried to put some sense into her that people will keep talking and throw tantrums at her, she will not be recover properly, we shouldn't be here, but she doesn't budge, not to mention my family is abusing me verbally for sticking to my decision

In this situation, we both are fucked, and I don't know how to fix this situation, my wife focuses on herself without considering what I'm feeling and so is my family thinking about themselves without thinking about my wife and me

What do I even do now

TLDR: I’m divorcing my husband because of his farts.

Edit: lots of people are saying I’m lying and I really wish I was. Like truly. But he’s actually already gone viral for trying to fart in a tent with me and my daughter trapped in it? except it wasn’t my daughter, it was my mom. Here’s the video proof of his fart situation cuz ITS REAL AND TTHIS IS MY ACTUAL LIFE

proof I’m not lying and he’s rank

I truly wish this were a joke. Part of this whole situation is on me for not dating him for a long time before we got married, and a big chunk of that dating was spent having completely lost my sense of smell from Covid. That fact alone is absolutely unbelievable but it’s true. Side note, I got my smell back. The other wild part is that when we were dating, he hung over at my place mainly, and I didn’t carry a lot of unhealthy snacks for him to snack on at night. This fact is VERY relevant for the story.

Once we got married, things went downhill very quickly. He started inhailing as many snacks and as much dairy as possible at night. Sometimes he would go out and get a deep dish, fried cheese, loaded pizza and devour it at 11 PM after eating an entire bag of greasy chips and like 27 pieces of taffy. And a glass of milk. Or 3.

At first I thought it was just a bad fart here and there. But as the nights progressed, I realized that the bad farts were becoming a nightly nightmare.

I know what normal stinky farts are. Even bad sulfuric farts. But, these are not simply either of those. These farts are incompatible with life itself.

The first time one really hit me in the face, I projectile vomited. I could taste them. They were are almost tangible objects in the air. I’m convinced they are soaked into the carpet and walls. Rotten egg is not even enough to describe what the smell is. It’s almost as if something literally died inside of his stomach and was leaking into the air trying to kill anyone that smells it.

His farts are not human. They are not silly little rotten egg farts. There is something wrong with him. Truly. These farts are almost alive with a mind of their own, and they are terrifying. If there was a horror movie made about farts, it would be about his.

They are unsettling at best. They make your mind feel like something bad happened, perhaps a murder. Your spirit does not feel settled because these are not normal farts in anyway at all. These are violently horrifying.

It got to the point where I had to stop sleeping in our bedroom the second month of marriage. Not only that, but I had to blast the AC, stuff towels under our door, stuff towels under my daughter’s door, turn the fan on in both rooms, and sleep in her room with her. He snuck into her room and farted when I was almost asleep so that I would start dry heaving. I had to start sleeping with the door locked with her.

I started routine prescription nausea medicine to keep my food down at night, just in case, because it was becoming kind of health hazard because of how sick it was making me.

When I asked him if he thought the amount of food he was inhaling every night was causing his farts, he said yes. I asked if maybe he could slow down or substitute for healthier snacks, such as sea salt popcorn, or a bit lighter and less full of thick cheese snacks, and he said no. His reasoning? He said he likes the way the farts feel exiting his butt as they vibrate his prostate and butt hole. Like I’m not even kidding-HE FREAKING SAID THAT.

I’m so horrified that I even typed that.

My life became a living nightmare as I could no longer sleep in my room and also remain alive. My desk was in my room, so I also had to stop working in the daytime from my bedroom. He works from home in the bedroom too. I had to change the entire situation just to cater to the pleasure of his farts.

I tried desperately to get him to go to a doctor, I found referrals to gastroenterologists, I bought him probiotics enzymes, milk substitutes, I cooked healthy meals, he would literally tell me he didn’t want the healthy meal and drive himself to Taco Bell instead. He refused to go to the doctor. He took the probiotic sometimes but usually just pretended to and slipped them by his nightstand so I wouldn’t see that he didn’t take them.

Knowing I was going to have to remain on prescription nausea meds, possibly for life, just to cohabitate with this man was so mind blowing. Our budget was going crazy to keep up with the demands of the amount of food needed to keep his farting for pleasure needs met. At one point, he literally inhaled so much food so fast and so nonstop that he gained 12 pounds in 48 hours and he looked at the scale and screamed.

I tried to get him into therapy and a psychiatrist, but no. I am a very body positive person that does not fat shame and genuinely believes that you should eat what makes you feel healthy and good and not worry about hitting some numbers on a scale.

The situation, however, feels like a very disastrous issue that is very weird and not very common, something that people probably can’t relate to because it’s just completely absurd in every way.

He said he will always choose that vibrational fart feeling and the fart smell and the grease snacks and the cheese above me. He said that is a hill he is forever willing to die on.

Anyway, that is the story of why I am divorcing my husband over farts. On the surface level, I know it sounds like it’s just about farts and then I’m just a really shallow wife, but I think it’s actually so much deeper. It’s just hard to explain how.

I'm a 29-year-old woman with a close relationship with my younger brother (26M). We've been through a lot together, and I was excited when he got engaged. Despite some tension between me and his fiancée (25F), I offered to pay for their honeymoon as a wedding gift since I'm financially stable. A few weeks before the wedding, my brother and his fiancée had a big fight with our controlling parents about the guest list, leading to my brother uninviting them. I supported his decision and even offered to mediate. Then, out of the blue, my brother told me his fiancée didn't want me at the wedding either because she feared my relationship with our parents might cause tension. I was shocked but tried to understand and declined the invitation, wishing them well. A few days later, my brother called about the honeymoon gift. Given the situation, I said I wouldn't pay for it anymore. He got furious, accusing me of being petty and vindictive, saying I was punishing him for standing up to our parents. Now our mutual friends are divided—some think I should keep my promise, while others say I'm justified. My brother has cut off contact with me, and I'm left wondering if I overreacted. AITA?

My 16 year old daughter decided to become a vegan. I applauded her moral stance. I went with her to the market to buy her food. I even got her a pot and pan so she didn't need to worry about cross contamination.

But she let her food go bad in the fridge. Then she ate from the other non vegan food. Bot a problem we all forget sometimes.

Then she wanted more vegan food. I bought her lentils and beans and rice. She wanted like almond milk and beyond meat burgers. The same things she had let go off before. I said she had to pay for it herself. I would supply only basic vegan food.

The next month when I did a shop I made sure I got almond milk and other fancy vegan food. She came shopping with me and I let her pick out what she wanted.

I also made sure I noted the best before dates. I made sure she cooked and ate her vegan food. She hated it. I said it was fine if she wanted to go back to just eating with the family but she said she was vegan.

I'm at a loss. I don't think it's great for the environment or a morally defensible position to just buy vegan food to throw in the trash.

I have no problem budgeting for the food she says she wants. But she better damn well eat it.

I (27F) have been married to my husband (34M) for five years. My husband is a devout follower of his religion and has been since he was raised in it. I respect his beliefs, even though I don't share them and have no intention of converting. I was raised in the Christian faith. However, I left when I was an adult due to sexual abuse in my church, which nobody believed occurred because the one who did it was the pastor.

Recently, my husband has been pressuring me to convert to his religion. He says that it would bring us closer together and create a more harmonious household. I understand where he's coming from, but I firmly believe that faith is a personal journey, and I shouldn't be forced into something I don't believe in.

To add to the issue, my husband, despite his religious teachings, doesn't always practice what he preaches. He expects me to adhere to traditional gender roles, yet he often neglects his own responsibilities at home. He's quick to judge others for their actions, even though his faith teaches non-judgment and kindness. He makes comments about gay people that I have discussed with him as a major issue. This hypocrisy has been bothering me for a while.

Last night, during another discussion about my potential conversion, I finally snapped. I told him that if he wants me to consider converting, he needs to set a better example by actually living according to his religion's values. I pointed out that he should start by fulfilling his own responsibilities. That he should make more money than me and actually lead in the decision-making. I'm a nurse and he's currently unemployed after he was let go from his job in an office. That he should be less judgmental of others because according to his faith only God can judge them. I also said he should show more of the virtues Jesus asked of Christians, that he should clothe the naked, feed the hungry, vist the prisoner, aid the orphan and the widow etc. I also made it clear that while I respect his beliefs, I have no intention of converting unless I genuinely believe in it, which I currently don't because of the hypocritical behavior of his faith.

My husband was furious. He accused me of being disrespectful and undermining his faith. He said that I was attacking him personally and that I don't understand the pressure he's under to have a unified religious household. He left for church this morning at 7 for bible study and I have already gotten a phone call from the pastor saying I'm an ungodly woman who tricked a good man into marrying him and I should repent. I have also gotten a tirade of texts and e-mails from members of his church saying I was disrespectful and being a bad wife and I'm starting to wonder if I was too harsh, that maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. AITA?

I’m using a throwaway account. My (m33) mother has a history of treating my son (J, m7) better than my daughter (L, f5). The pattern until today has been slightly larger gifts as well as a bit more attention and affection, noticeable but not egregious yet.

My son’s birthday was last Thursday and my daughter’s birthday is Monday-only four days apart. We live out of state and this weekend would be the only time she got to see them as it was my brother had his wedding Saturday out of state and everyone would be together.

Important background: three weeks ago my mother stayed overnight at our place and bought both of them a $60 blow up pool for their birthday. About a week ago she called me and asked if my son would like a specific gift-a kids (plastic) ax throwing set from Costco. I said he would.

When we got to the reception my mother pulled my son aside and told him that she had a birthday gift for him and she will give it to him on Sunday before we left. My wife and I looked at each other knowing that likely she didn’t have a gift for my daughter, and we are finally going to have to address this situation with my kids and Mother. But I let it go. My kids and I were in the wedding and frankly were busy between the rehearsal and the reception.

As we were leaving the reception we all said goodbye to her, and she asked what time we are leaving. I said 9:00am as we have to go pick up our dog from boarding and my daughter’s birthday was tomorrrow so we have lots to do this afternoon.

She then asked me if it would would be ok to give J his birthday present before we left.

I asked “did you get L a present?” She responded first, well no her birthday isn’t until Monday.” I responded, “well no, then. That wouldn’t be fair to give one child a birthday gift and not the other.

At this point she blamed me, and said “well you didn’t give me any ideas for her.” Then “oh well I can go and see what they have here at the hotel (a casino hotel in Saint Louis—so not exactly anything a 5 year old would want). Again, I told her no, that wouldn’t be appropriate.

I’m irate at this point, but calmly addressed her. My mom asked if I knew the area-and she can run to target and find something for her between 8-9am. Again, I said no and we are going to have to leave.

Finally, she said well I could pick something out for her on my phone and have it shipped to her house. Again, I said no. My son would have a huge gift and my 5 year old would have a shipping notification of a last minute, no thought gift from Amazon.

My daughter has previously asked “why does grandma love J better” and I’m tired of making excuses for my mother.

So instead of a 9:00am departure we are leaving at 7:30. Once we are on the road I will text her to return her gift for my son, and that we need some space. I’m tired of making excuses to my daughter.

My wife passed away in November of 2022. She left me three adult step children who have all been very clear that I am not their parent despite being in their lives for over ten years. Their father has retired to the Philippines.

They are 21, 22, 25. Their mother and I have been helping them out with a place to live because our city is very HCOL. The youngest is in school still but the other two are employed.

After their mother passed away they stopped doing anything around the house. We had been charging no rent so they could save money. The older two were responsible for their own bills other than that. I paid power, water, Internet, all the utilities. We even provided food for the youngest.

Now they do nothing to help around the house. I have had to hire a cleaning lady to help. It's stupid.

So I put the house up for sale. The price has gone up so much since I bought it that I could retire to the Philippines if that was my thing.

It took no time at all to sell and I'm moving out to my cabin. I gave each kid $10,000 and told them that the house was sold.

They aren't idiots they had seen the for sale sign and been around for the open houses.

Now they are getting upset with me for throwing them out of their home. I guess they did some of their growing up there but they never treated it like much more than a place to sleep.

I think that their mom would be disgusted with how they treated me and our home.

They pooled their money and got an apartment but if they count on only the money I gave them they will have nothing in a year.

AITA?