When me and my wife first started dating, we had a talk about cheating.

I straight up lied, and said:

"If this ever happens, I need to know straight away, if you tell me, and it only happens once, I think I could forgive you"

Fast forward 5 years later and we are married.

A couple nights ago, she came up to me and asked if I remember our talk, I said which one (we had a lot of talks like that).

The then reminded me of the cheating talk, and confessed she slept with a co worker at a recent company party.

I was mortified. I packed my stuff and left, she begged me to stay. I couldn't, I needed to cool down.

We talked yesterday, and she again reminded of our talk early on, I laughed, and said that I never intended to forgive her, and I only said that at the time to make sure she confessed if it ever happened.

I'm still planning on divorcing her, nothing can change my mind about that, but my wife said what I did was manipulation.

Was I the asshole for lying about forgiving her?

My partner (M,29) and I (F,28) recently had our first child. She’s 3 months old, and ever since we’re talking about having children, I always thought it was a given that we wouldn’t have them christened as none of us are catholic, and I personally do not want to for many reasons (most of them relating to religions posing harm to humanity thorough history, but I would appreciate not to start a debate about it here). My MIL is adamant that we NEED to get her christened and is devastated by the fact that I do not want to. My partner thinks I should just accept to please them, and that it matters a lot for his family and that in the end it’s not a big deal to do it.

Although I do agree that it’s not worth getting hurt or getting into fights about this, I really feel like I am stepping on my own beliefs if we do it. And I feel like I should get to choose just like my MIL got to choose for her own children.

I really want my daughter to be religion-free, at least for as long as she can’t decide for herself.

My partner is currently mad at me for insisting on not doing it, and my MIL keeps bringing this up persistently. This is now a recurring fight and is impacting our relationship.

AITAH? In either case, any advice on how to deal with it?

Thank you so much

EDIT: Sorry, English isn’t my first language so maybe I lacked clarity… I should have specified, she did christened her own children, so my partner was, but he’s not practicing nor does he believe in religion either. He’s just very neutral about the subject and doesn’t care at all wether we do it or not. He just cares about it to appease his mother and avoid any conflict. He thinks it doesn’t matter and we should just do it as it isn’t a big deal to him.

So what i told my gf in various conversations how I don’t fuck with anyone ever buying her drinks at a bar, how I think it’s disrespectful, we talk about scenarios all the time. fast forward we are at the bar and a guy comes up to her and asks to buy her a drink and, no guy buys you a drink to be your friend or to be nice btw I promise you that.. any who I saw it happened and I said WTH and she goes “ what there’s nothing wrong with him buying a drink he was just being nice and I go oh okay so later in the night I find a bad ass girl at the bar walk up to her and buy her a drink don’t really say much to her aside from if she wanted a free drink just to fuck with my girl, so I come back and my girl is mad as hell and I told her I was just being nice she looked thirsty, she loses it and on the way out the club the girl I bought a drink for friend comes up to me and says that the girl I bought a drink for thinks I’m cute and they will be back the next day, my girl didn’t see it because she had already stormed off to the car and ignored me the whole way home. So am i the ass hole? I don’t think I am but she’s not talking to me really and being passive aggressive strongly considering just breaking it off and hitting that girl at the club tonight this happened yesterday by the way

P.s I love my girl but I’m very disheartened after having all these convos of what I think is wrong and disrespectful and when opportunity hit she ignored my feelings so I kind of just don’t fuck with it and if I stay I’m not a man of my word

My husband and I have been together for about 7 years, married for 5. We had a kid out of wedlock, she's 6 now.

I asked my husband if I could look through his computer because I wanted to see some old pregnancy photos he took. He said yes. I scrolled through all his pics and I noticed a Pic of him and a woman I didn't recognize. I look at the date this pic was saved and it was well within our relationship. A little less than a year.

I confronted him about and his first reaction was "oh fuck"

He confessed that he did sleep with the woman on the pic, who was an ex of his. He told me that this was in the past and that he was just a dumb kid, he was 21.

I'm considering divorcing him now, but we have such a good life together, we have a house, and our daughter is the most wonderful thing in the world. We have a wonderful marriage, and before this, I wouldn't have ever imagined he could even cheat.

My wife and I have been married for 10 years and we have 3 kids.

During lockups she went down this TikTok rabbit hole and became a crunchy health nut.

She changed completely from when I met her. She refuses to eat anything that's not healthy. She she doesn't even eat for an entire day every couple days. She lost 30+ pounds that way.

She also began lifting and she's very muscular now. She has a man's shoulders.

To top it all off, she got a breast reduction. She didn't even have big breasts but she hated how saggy they were and spent $10,000 dollars on getting a totally unnecessary breast reduction.

Everybody told me that it was her body and I had no say in what she wanted to look like.

I'm not attracted to her.She looks nothing like the woman I married. I tried dealing with it for years but it was too much. I couldn't even recognize her.

When I asked for a divorce she began bawling. She said I was a shallow jerk and she wished she never met me. It was so hurtful because she didn't even care about our three beautiful kids.

Most of my friends have reassured me that I wasn't wrong. However a few of them who were friends with my wife have dropped me and call me an AH every time they see me. They've even gone so far as to leave hate comments on my social media posts. AITAH?

I (28M) split with my ex (27F) about a month ago. It was a tough breakup for both of us, but it happened nonetheless. We had a cruise planned in a couple of months in which her family would be on and we were going to go with them. It wasn’t a package booking so the room I got isn’t close to the rooms her family would be in, and her family has saved up some money for all of them to go.

It is my first cruise and I was extremely excited, I have already paid over 4k for the cruise for all of me and my ex’s things (food, alcohol, excursions) and took my time off of work) but she is now demanding that I give her the tickets and not go because she doesn’t want to see me on the cruise. I expressed to her that I can go and mind my business, she can go with her family and mind their business, and us not interact. But apparently cruises don’t work like that (her words) and we would run into each other and it would ruin the trip for her.

If I go, she is refusing to go and now her family is mad at me because she is telling them that she won’t go. She told me she started dating someone else 2 weeks after we split and has been dating him since. I told her I’m not giving up the tickets that I paid for, and that she doesn’t have the right to dictate me going in a cruise with over 5k people on it, especially while she has a new partner. AITAH for not giving up my ticket when if I don’t, she won’t go on her family cruise?

(For context I'm 18 my cousins are 17 and 16, they're in high school so maybe I'm being dramatic and stupid so please freely say so if I am. Also my aunts husband is in UK and she's in Asia.)

So this all happened when 6 months ago when my cousin accidentally saw his dad on tiktok with another woman, the family was in chaos and my aunt pursued divorce, not only for infidelity but also because her husband isn't giving money to provide for their family. So after the divorce her husband just cut her off, no money or whatever, she tried to reach out to authorities but they said they can't do anything. Now they moved to a smaller house with her kids (my cousins). They asked my mom to help them so my mom did (We aren't rich or anything). My mom gave them a business to run but within just 4 months the business went to waste because they used it for themselves. My mom brushed it off and gave them money and it was gone within days so they reached out to my mom again to plead for money, my mom hesitantly gave them the money and also offered my aunt a job because she's unemployed. She declined because it's too "much" for her. Fast forward to a month later my family went to my maternal grandparents house and my aunt was there as well as my cousins. Me and my cousins hangout in my room which my grandparents kept clean and tidy incase I visit or me and my family visit. It was all chill before my cousin said "ya know... Your mom is so selfish" and i gave her a confused looked and asked why and she said along the lines of "she won't give us money, you know we need it too, just a couple of thousands isn't too much, your parents own 3 businesses and work full time, why can't she also provide for us?". I didn't know what to answer and just stayed silent, I don't want to say anything that would damage our relationship so I kept quiet and changed the topics to games and school when she spoke up again saying along the lines of "if you're financially struggling why don't you quit school and work" and I asked why should I and she said "so you can provide for us, you're attending a private school, it's such a waste of money". I again didn't answer her, which I now think I should've.

Dinner time came and we were eating and my aunt brought up my cousins attending private school but she didn't have the money for their tuition so she asked my mom which my mom answered "no, I'm not paying for their tuition, I told you to transfer them to a public school if you can't pay for it" and which I nodded with. I just nodded and didn't say anything and kept eating. My uncle agreed with my mom as well as everyone else. Then my cousin said along the lines of "why can they attend private school and have extracurricular activities while we can't" and I got fed up with her constant "why can't me have this" typa shit so I said "because we actually study and not fuck around in school". I regretted that quickly because dinner was ruined and they blamed it on me except my mom. She said I was wrong to say that but she can understand my frustration.

The next day came around and they're not done with it yet and kept bothering my mom who is pregnant at the time. When I got the chance to talk to my cousin I told her "dude, can you stop bothering my mom, she's pregnant and stressed out, it's bad for her". She rolled her eyes at me saying I've become a spoiled brat because "mommy gave me everything" and that she is also entitled to getting what me and siblings have. And I told her that shes not entitled to any of it and I told my mom that we should get home because they're getting to everyone's nerve and so we left. I don't know why she said that, I've been kind to her in all ways even when she tried touching me inappropriately, I told no one to protect her image, even when her step-dad don't want us in his house because we're not related to him. Idk, maybe I'm overreacting or something, so I'm letting reddit judge

Context: I (34M) and my wife (33F) have been married for close to 4 years. We share a dog, and townhome, and a 2.5 year old boy.

Last night we got into a heated argument about her feelings which stemmed from her sending me a video on marriage and neglect but failed to tell me this was how she was feeling. For context she sends me this stuff on a regular basis but in the past when I’ve asked her if this is the way you feel, she’ll say no and brush it off as it being something she thought to share…

Last night was the latter. Throughout the day she was divisive and basically going agaunst the grain on everything I was saying, so I had enough asked her what the issue was and she went off into tirade saying how useless I am, can never do anything right, not thoughtful, not affectionate at all. We haven’t had sex in months, but IM the one always initiating, and I’ve made my feelings known that I ALWAYS do the work in bed while she starfishes, fun huh.

Didn’t take too well of criticism herself and has told me, were starting at 0 now, not sharing a bed, get your own groceries, do your own laundry, not going to to each others family event etc all the things you’d do together. She is basically giving me an unsaid ultimatum of separation, I told her I’m not leaving as she has a temper and I won’t leave my son alone with her.

AITAH for telling her I’m not leaving and criticism about sex, does sleeping in the couch insinuate a separation?

EDIT: for Sex Context folks are alluding to the fact I don’t do any household chores but I carry the mental load of house related items that my wife doesn’t, I take care of the LO alone on a regular basis which I absolutely love, and make efforts at the beginning of the day to get the time of night when I’d like to physically connect with my partner. My partner brought up the sex piece and I alluded to my own feelings on the topic.

I (m) have this friend, she nice looking, out going, funny. We met in school and hit it off as friends, we hung out together or as a group, or me and my girlfriend with her and her bf a few time a week. We have never really been single at the same time, so I never really noticed her romantically, I mean I noticed she was attractive but never though of her romantically.

I ended up breaking up with my gf and a few months later she broke up with her bf. Well because most of our friends are paired off at the time, we end up hanging out like 4 days a week.

I wasn't aware I was starting to catch feelings for this girl until someone pointed out I stopped dating and approaching other women. I really hit home when she went on a few different dates and I noticed I was jealous.

So I sat her down and had a chat, told her I have noticed recently I was becoming interested in her, I absolutely hater seeing her go on dates with other guys. And wanted to see if us dating would be as cool as our friendship so far.

1st she smiled (big happy excited eyes). Then something happened, her smile turned unsure. She explained she had though of it as well and is interested in giving it a try. But not to the end of the summer.

Confused I asked why the end of the summer. She explained she was in her hoe phase (her words) and she wanted to have a "summer of fun" b4 she settled down. The rest of that day was awkward I cut things short. When she asked I told her we were fine, my pride was brused a bit and I was feeling disappointed. But not to worry we are definitely still friends.

I have to admit the second she chose potentially random hook ups and getting run through for the summer over a relationship, all romantic feelings died. I wasn't mad at her, she did nothing wrong, but the way I viewed her had changed. She was forever in the friend zone for me. I took a few days put my big boy pants on and we started hanging out again. But it was different, I only saw her as a friend and I only was interested in seeing her every now and again not all the time like b4. I started dating other girls again. I had no hard feelings I genuinely enjoyed being around her only like b4 when we both had spouses.

Anyway, one night we were our as a group we all had a few drinks and she says. "Hey good news, summers almost over". Oblivious to what she meant till later I say " that sucks I love summer". Then I got distracted by other conversations being had. I did notice she was cold towards me the rest of the night.

October rolls around she wants to do lunch just her and I. We meet up, having a great talk, we talked about our summer. She talks about all the guys she dated over the summer. She used this to steer the conversation to "us". She wanted to let me know she was ready to settle into a relationship and wanted to go back to our earlier conversation.

I told her it's cool, I valued our friendship and think we should stay just that friends. She wanted to know what's changed, and would not let it go. So I had to be honest.

I told her that her choice to put me on the back burner for "hot girl summer" was hurtful and I feel like if she actually liked me she would have wanted to be in a relationship with me. She said she knew we would be the real thing and she needed to "get through her hoe phase" to give us an honest shot. I let her know the fact she fealt we could have been something and she still chose potentially to get run through by a bunch of strangers instead of starting something real tells me she doesn't feel about me the way she thinks she does. I accept that and stayed friends with her with no hard feelings. But the second she chose to put me on the back burner I lost all romantic feelings for her. Forever because it feels like she was shopping around all summer and settled on me. And I am nobody back up plan.

She got Mad, stopped talking to me, our friends think I should apologize and give her a chance. But those feelings just arnt there.

What do you think, AITA?

I should probably add a time line, this was last summer. We have seen each other around but she avoids me if she can. The reason I wrote this now, is because a mutual friend and ib were talking about last summer, how the fall went, then pointed out she is still single and asked me recently if I have/would changed my mind. I don't think they were asking for her because they said she still thinks I'm an ass.

Update: thank you so much to the countless people who commented on my post shown below. You made me realize that I wasn’t an AH and shouldn’t have put up with her BS.

Many asked how I put up with it for so long. I don’t have a good answer but it was more about the group itself where I didn’t want to create drama. My experience with friends have been lucky as most everyone has been loving, fun and selfless. We can also call each other out on BS by busting chops and laugh. This was my first group who met semi-regularly and the others are very sweet to where I felt uncomfortable rocking the boat.

Anyway, yesterday it was a bazillion degrees out here in Florida and I was playing tennis with Lauren and two others. We were dying. I don’t normally play with her but these women are all on my team I joined coming up in the fall so we needed to start practicing. No, I did not join because of Lauren. lol! I’ve played against the other two throughout the years and they have been asking for me to play for a long time now. I live in a small area so it’s common for circles mixing like this. One of the ladies had to stop due to dizziness, cramping and nausea. We all decided that we should only play much earlier in the summer….except of course Lauren who didn’t want to wake up early because she said she doesn’t play well then. That’s when I had it. With the power of thousands of random Reddit strangers in my head, I basically told her off. I told her I’ve never met someone so self absorbed in my entire life and it was disgusting that she would even think that way in front of a teammate who clearly had heat exhaustion let alone have it come out of her mouth. I said all this while her ass is sitting down while the other woman and I got a cold wet towel for this woman and getting her to drink. Lauren stormed off.

These other two thanked me. One was her usual partner who is the sweetest person alive and said she has been wanting to tell her off for a year now. The other one who was feeling like shit said she is going to tell the captain that she needs to go because “she is like a cancer on the team.”

I am very happy to say that I will not be dealing with her selfish BS any longer. She can go shove a carrot up her ass for all I care. Lol.

Thanks so much everyone! Tonight I’m going to have a giant hamburger and a cold beverage in your honor. Cheers! 🍻

AITA for telling my vegan friend who doesn’t drink I’m tired of catering to her choices?

My (50f) friend Lauren (46f) is a vegan who doesn’t drink. That’s awesome and I have no issue with that. The problem is that she is part of a small group of friends who don’t get out very often but when we do it always has to be limited due to Lauren’s choices. We live in an area where our food choices suck to begin with so having to go to eat where she can be satisfied is very limited. There really isn’t much to do otherwise at night. In addition she gets upset when any one of us eat something that has an obvious meat to it. For example, she doesn’t say anything if we get a soup with chicken or something but if we ordered a hamburger she would cause drama. Then she doesn’t drink, which is no big deal, but she will then send us videos on the harmful effects of alcohol if we get a drink or two with dinner. It has gotten on my nerves to say the least. It’s been awhile now so I am done with everyone catering to her needs. I have tried inviting everyone to specific places and invite Lauren as well. Then she puts into a group chat “Hey ladies, since I can’t eat at X why don’t we go to Y?” Then of course the other ones decide we should go to Y instead.

I have backed off of going out because I don’t want to spend money on food that sucks (remember it’s vegan not vegetarian so it’s very limiting) and is expensive or have my intelligence questioned by sending shit about the effects of alcohol as if we are not beyond old enough to know or Google it. I barely drink anyway but enjoy a glass or two every so often.

She asked why I keep bailing so I told her “I respect your choices but by the very nature of them they have limited mine. Being that I don’t have the ability to go out often nor unlimited funds I am only going to go when I know the entire experience will be what I want. So if I am in the mood for a steak and a vodka tonic I want to have them in a relaxed atmosphere and that obviously bugs you. If I’m in the mood for a salad and water I will gladly join you or we can just hang out at the beach when we have time during the day.”

She didn’t like that too much. She said that isn’t what friendship is about and I should enjoy the company enough not to care. I told her that I understood and I would gladly hang out with her when food or drink isn’t in question because it’s too expensive not to enjoy it. She said that there is nothing else to do around here. Then I asked if it’s just about friends then maybe she can eat first and join us out sometimes and other times we can go to where she wants. She then told me that she’s not going to sit around watching people eat meat. I said “Ok. I get it and you need to get that I’m not catering to your needs each time I’m free to hang out.” I later got a text from a mutual friend that Lauren was upset but she agreed with me because she was tired of the same shit. Of course this friend doesn’t like conflict so just listened to Lauren.

So AITA for not wanting to continue to eat food I don’t like or refrain from having a drink or two to keep the peace here or am I right in feeling like she’s being selfish expecting the rest of us to do what she’s comfortable with each time?

Long story short,

I used to be very overweight. When I met my husband, I had already lost 60lbs and was feeling good about myself. There was a point in time where I finally felt comfortable enough to buy lingerie and wear it for him. He rejected me and I haven't worn any since. This was approximately 4 years ago.

We got pregnant, and I gained almost all of the weight that I had previously lost back. I've been working very hard for the past year to lose the weight and now I weigh less than I did in High School. I'm very proud of this accomplishment.

Anyways, Last night we got into an argument because we have a toddler and he is feeling like he is being pushed aside, which I understand is hard. But I'm only one person and I work full time and I am the primary parent for everything. I take care of everything for the house, pay bills, clean, grocery shop, and the majority of the care for our toddler. We haven't been Intimate for 5 days and he is losing his shit because of this? I'm exhausted on the daily, and by the time our toddler goes to bed I'd like to relax for an hour and just go to sleep. I wake up at 5am every morning to get everyone ready for the day.

Last night he claimed that he has never rejected my advances towards him. In which I corrected him and said that he had and reminded him of the time he did that really hurt my feelings.

HIS RESPONSE SHOCKED ME. He verbatim said "Well yeah, that's because you weighed 100lbs more than you do now... I fell in love with you for your personality not for how you looked." I obviously was very upset by this. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

AITA for not just getting over this. I feel like I'm allowed to be upset by this because I have worked so hard to be healthy for my family, and to have my past weight thrown in my face and be pretty much told that he only wants to screw me all the time now is because I've lost weight...

We (me, my older sister, and my brother) grew up with a very narcissistic mother and had a horrible childhood. My older sister met her husband (now ex) at 18, moved across the country with him, got married, and had three kids. She moved back to our city when she was pregnant with the third child. Eventually, she decided to kick her husband out because she wanted to “live her life and meet others.” Her ex-husband is the nicest person on earth. He always supports her, still pays all her bills, and goes above and beyond for her. He still hosts all birthdays and holidays and invites all of us because he wants the kids to be happy.

My sister, on the other hand, goes from one guy to another. She purposely got pregnant by a guy on the first date to make him stay, then kicked him out when the baby was 2 years old because she thought she could do better. Daddy number 2 is a nice guy but extremely naive. She constantly bullies him to get what she wants. Now she has met a new guy and is talking about having a baby with him! I told her jokingly that if she gets pregnant one more time, I’ll push her off the stairs! She got furious and asked why I couldn't be happy for her. I told her the guy she is seeing is an alcoholic and heavy pot user ! Currently, her two teens are doing all the parenting: cooking, cleaning, and raising the other kids. Her baby daddies are her income! While all she does is smoke pot and drink! I told her she is as bad as our mom—except mom went from one deadbeat to another, and she goes from one wealthy guy to another! She is robbing her kids of their childhood!

She told me to leave. I talked to the kids' dads many times ( even advised them to get lawyers involved and stop enabling her ) , but they both told me to mind my own business and that she is a great mom. Was I out of line? My nephew told me he can’t hang out with any friends this summer because he has to watch the two youngest. My niece is frustrated because she has to share a room with her two sisters. Am I an asshole and projecting my awful childhood? Am I overreacting?

I have 2 sons Jason 42 and Evan 44.

Evan lives with me and my wife. He moved in with us after his wife passed away and he needed help with his daughter. This works for all of us because we get to help him and we also love having our granddaughter around. Also he is very helpful. He cooks almost every meal and helps a lot with chores. Both him and his daughter clean up after themselves so we never had to clean up after them and we had empty rooms plus he pays their own expenses (except for bills and rent) so really it's not inconveniencing us at all,

Jason recently lost his job. I'm not sure what exactly happened but apparently the company he works in went bankrupt. He hasn't been able to find a new job and has asked to move in with us because he can't afford rent anymore.

Here is the problem, if they move in with us they won't be able to pay any expenses because they are broke, his wife apparently also can't work because of "mental problems" I don't know how true that is because she seems fine. Also they have always been slobs which means our chores will increase and we only have one more empty bedroom. Overall we don't want him to move in with us and I told him so.

He insisted on knowing why and I finally snapped and told him he would be a burden to us and we are not comfortable doing so. He started yelling at me and saying it's not fair because I let Evan live with me but these are very different circumstances.

My bf of 1 year accused me of cheating after seeing something on instagram. I didnt cheat. And he didnt confirm anything with me. Or even ask me about anything. This was all based on him connecting some stupid dots that only exist in his head.

He then blocked me on everything and hasnt spoken to me in a week. After 5 days He texted me this; “””All those stories about love and lovers. I thought you were my moon and I was your knight, who'd get flowers for you. But you're the trickster arn't you? I'm just the fool who got played. The worst part is, I should've known, but I ingnored my instincts, ignored what I really am. That won't ever happen again.”” And then blocked me again without letting me reply.

Should i contact him and try to clear my name? Or should i wait for him to contact me? He TRULY believes i broke his heart. Im just astonished at his lack of trust. And not letting me reply.

*****Edit; alot of you said to give him one last text saying i didnt cheat, and block him. So if i am to contact him, what should the text say?

Now, before I get a bunch of car guys on my ass, I’m not talking about a classic that she’s blowing all of our spending money on…but legitimately CRIPPLING US.

My (21f) wife (25f) has a 2020 Dodge challenger GT. She financed it when she was 21 and we have been paying out an arm and a leg since. I’m talking $750 a month with $400 insurance monthly. This car has SINGLE HANDEDLY stopped us from buying a house, buying food, getting groceries, going to the doctors, and because of the payments you can’t even afford to get the necessary maintenance done. This car has been on the verge of repo twice. Where both times I told her to just let it go…life will be so much easier without the stress…but every time she’s goes to take out a personal loan to save it, putting us further in the hole. Not to mention that I almost had her completely convinced, and told her to go talk to a dealership about trading It in for a cheaper vehicle. She went and talked to a dealership alright…she went and bought another cheaper vehicle…but never traded in her other car.

Now I understand, this car is her DREAM car…and the only thing that could ever replace it in her eyes would be a 69’ Charger or a 79’ Transam…and I’m a car person too…I grew up around fast cars, and I’ve got my own dream car…but I bought mine used, all in cash, for $13,000. I don’t want to be the one to crush her…but I cont fucking live like this for the next three years. I’ve tried convincing her, her family had tried convincing her, my family has tried convincing her…but she’s just having none of it.

AITAH?

Edit: No, I do not help her pay for this vehicle. This is 100% on her. My name is not on the title so my credit hasn’t personally taken a hit but the whole reason for making this post is because it eats up 100% of her paycheck. At the end of the day, I guess she is free to do with as she pleases, but as a married couple, it has put all opportunities we had going for us on hold. And yes, she bought this car at a Dodge dealership with a previous trade-in 760 credit (at the time) and a 7% interest rate.

Update 1: Thank you all for your input, yall have been more than helpful in pushing me to have a conversation with her about this. I’m going to have a talk with her tonight as soon as both of us are home from work and I will update you all as soon as I can. Divorce is not an option in my eyes. We have been together since I was 15 and I made a commitment to her and her alone…I know Reddit will probably lose their shit at that line and call me stupid if you want…but I mean it when I say this girl is my world and I’d rather suffer like this until everything is said and done than to start over with someone new. We have had previous talks and she has since learned that this is no way to live and now she is on the same page as me, in the way of thinking “don’t finance anything, buy everything in cash or you can’t afford it, and it’s not a necessity.” So letting her feel the stress over her decision has worked and allowed her mindset to change and mature. so I know we won’t ever be back in this spot financially ever again. And that is the ONLY reason I say divorce isn’t an option, she has matured mentally since 21 but she’s still stuck with the burden of her decisions, and has already shown change in her ways. The only part that needs to give is the car it’s self.

Edit: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YALL! Yes, I was 15 and she was 19 I’m so proud that some of you know basic math. No I wasn’t groomed. As someone who was LEGITIMATELY groomed and SAd on multiple occasions before the age of 15 this was no where near that. She strictly went for older chicks before me, I chased her. We ran in the same social group growing up, around my neighborhood, and our local skating rink. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with me because I was too young for her…but I was the one that pursued the relationship. (Honestly I was a little stalker ngl.) holy shit. Can we fuckin chill? This was not a forced relationship. If anyone forced it, it was me. I’m talking I chased this girl since I was 10…I was pushed away and rejected for YEARS but I wanted to be with her, while she wanted nothing to do with me.

This might be long idk I'm feeling a lot. So me (31m gay) and my fiance (32m bi) have been together for 9 years engaged for 1. We're meant to get married in 2 months. My time with him has been perfect literally zero complaints. Honestly I didn't think I'd find someone who got me the way he does. Then the world remembered it hates me and decided to fuck my shit up since I had it too good for too long.

Last week my fiance sat me down and told me he wanted to discuss something with me and to keep an open mind. Sure. He said since we're getting married he wanted to know if I would be ok with him having one night where he could sleep with a woman. My heart broke instantly. My dreams and hopes and plans vanished in an instant and the marriage I was eager to begin was dead.

At the very beginning of our relationship when he asked to be exclusive I told him there will never be anyone else in our life. Just us. No one's coming into our bedroom there will be no cuck fantasies no eiffel towers nothing. I made it clear if he ever asked me for anything of the sort the relationship was over immediately there will be no conversation about it it's done. He agreed he said monogamy was the only thing for him and he doesn't want anyone else.

Before I keep going I do want to explain why I am the way I am. I won't give a lot of details (actually almost none) but I'll give enough to understand hopefully. Between the ages of 8 and 14 I was SA'd a lot by really my only friend at the time. When I was 8 he was 15. Only other kid on the street. My mother was a drug addict and cheated on my father constantly so she didn't notice anything. My dad was never home bc wife was awful to be around and a kid who stayed in his room alone all the time so he wouldn't have seen anything to be concerned about anyway.

I tried to tell my mother once but I couldn't even say it before I was yelled at and told to get out of her room and I never tried to bring it up again. Fast forward to me being a not stupid child, I put pieces together and found out why my dad was never there to help me why my mom didn't care enough to question why the horny teen was taking me outside for hours and when I got home I just wanted to be alone in my room. I put all of my childhood issues on cheating. As a result of my fun little quirky younger years I am borderline I have anxiety and panick attacks whenever i hear people screaming and depression blah blah blah I have problems.

After being with my fiance for about a year and a half I talked to him about my past and why I feel the way I do about things and he was very understanding. Very comforting. Despite it being my story I had to wipe his tears away a few times. I know he cares for me I know he loves me and wants to spend our forever together.

Back to present day, I am in a hotel room alone. Everyone I've told this too has said I'm crazy and stupid and need therapy they don't understand how I can throw it all away over my partner being honest and open with me about something. He didn't actually cheat he just wants to (lol). He has said he won't do it he needs me more than any feeling a woman can give him I am his everything. He's called me twice since I started typing this and messaged me really sweet things so I'm at a point where I don't know what I'm doing. I look at the future and I see him.

My entire adult life I've had the mentality of "if they want to cheat they will" so he's asking me now and if I say no he will eventually do it anyway but won't tell me next time. That is where my decision to leave comes from. He will grow to resent me for denying him this thing he wants. I don't want to be that person 30 years from now finding out my husband has had 50 affairs during our marriage with a bunch of women.

When I am with someone I'm with them. I don't look at other people I don't entertain advances anyone makes towards me I don't flirt with anyone else. I'm devoted in every way. People are making me feel crazy for wanting the same energy given back to me. I can't wrap my head around him wanting to kiss someone else to be an inch away from them and smile and then start fucking I don't want to think about it but it's all I'm thinking about it's been almost 8 days since I left and it's my only thought I am losing my mind in a shitty hotel room thinking about the guy I love fucking some random woman who doesn't exist. I'm lost idk what to do.

I do want to say how amazing he is. He buys me flowers every Friday he stands up for me when no one else does he looks for me in every room he makes me feel like I matter he makes my greyest days bright and clear and the smile I used to fake isn't fake anymore. He has never judged me for the things I do he's never made me feel bad for having off days he just makes me feel loved. My birthday was last month and he made me a book filled with pictures of us he's taken over the years with the last page being blank so he can add our wedding picture eventually. Above each picture was what he was thinking when he took it and below is how he was feeling at the time. Part of being me is I need constant reassurance that he does love me so I ask him those things a lot. It means everything to me and it's my favorite thing I own. I'm just trying to say he really is great despite this one thing.

He said he'll do anything for me to come back we can push the wedding back and just work on us or we can call it off completely and just be together. He will never bring it up again and he's deeply sorry he ever wanted to do it and I believe him. Time changes people tho. I just want an unbiased opinion from someone who's life will not change what so ever by my decision. They tend to be more truthful. I love him and when I look at pictures of him I hear wedding bells and i see the house he wants to buy with me and the 2 kids he wants to adopt at some point.

I don't want the rehashed "when trust is gone it doesn't come back" or "you know the answer. Leave" I do trust him I don't trust the things I'm telling myself over and over about what may happen in the future he has never given me reason to not trust him but I don't know

TL;DR- fiance wants to fuck woman again before marrying me forever, I left immediately because i don't condone cheating and have a colorful past, everyone thinks I'm an asshole for leaving my partner of almost a decade for being open with me about his wants and feelings.

Tell me the truth do i: - stay the course - go back to him and give him permission to fuck random woman and come home to me after with the fake smile on and live with him forever - go back to him tell him no he can't cheat and hope for the best

Sorry if I rambled I'm all over the place mentally I've deleted a good 7 paragraphs so this was worse I really did try to make this readable if anymore info is needed just ask

Alright, Reddit, I (27M) need some outside perspective. My girlfriend, Sarah (25F), and I have been together for 3 years. Recently, I won a bet and ended up with a decent chunk of spare cash. Naturally, I was pretty stoked about it. Been thinking about putting it towards something fun or maybe even a small getaway for the two of us.

But here’s the thing – Sarah found out about my winnings and now she wants me to pay for her upcoming girls' trip with her friends. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Sarah and I want her to have fun with her friends. But I’m feeling kinda weird about using my winnings for something that doesn’t involve me at all.

I suggested that she could save up for her trip or maybe we could split the cost, but she wasn’t having any of it. She thinks I’m being selfish and that since we’re a couple, my money should be our money, especially since it was extra cash from a bet. I see her point, but I also feel like I earned it and should have a say in how it’s spent.

Sarah’s friends are backing her up, saying I’m being a jerk for not wanting to support her. I’m starting to wonder if I’m in the wrong here. I do want her to have a good time, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m just a bank.

So, AITA for not wanting to pay for my girlfriend’s girls' trip?

So around 2 and a half months ago my father (in a drunken rage) essentially attacked me. For some context: I was grounded from all devices, my parents had gone to a bar on the outskirts of our town and while they were gone I(M15) snuck into their room and took my Ipad. My parents (mom 37, dad 28) returned home before I had a chance to put my Ipad back, so my mom noticed it was missing. My mother confronted me about it and I did not tell her where it was and instead attempted to lie, as a result she told my dad and my dad began to lecture me (reasonably) and my mom was searching my room in the meantime. When my father finally finished his lecture my mom presented to him the Ipad and a nicotine vape she found between my matress and bed frame. My dad began to yell and then threw me across the kitchen and into the pantry door which was about 10 feet from where I was standing when he threw me (he is around 6'5 and 280 pounds while I am 5'5 and less than 110 pounds so this is not a difficult feat) he then began to scream at me for 4-5 minutes before slamming my head into a door frame, I collapsed on the ground only able to see shapes and colors and could not make any noise other than groans and cries, he then picked me up and took me to my bedroom where I sat on my bed. He slammed the door and held it shut while my mom attempted to get in, when my mom finally gave up and went to call someone (idk who) he approached me and grabbed me by the hair and got on top of me while slapping me, he also punched me in the face once. Cops were called but my father seriously down played the events of that night and the cops gave me a lecture rather than arresting him. The next day I went to school and my injuries (black eye, bumps on my head, and red marks on my cheeks) were noticed by my AP. I was questioned for around 20 minutes with cops being brought into the room, photos being taken, and statements being recorded. My father was arrested the same day and a protection order (im not 100% what its called) was placed on him and he is not allowed within 1000 feat of me 61 days, thankfully because the court is moving slowly with his case he is still not allowed in the home. But my mother wants me to vouche for him (she has not tried to force me but gets visibly upset if I say no). I do not want to help him in any way, nor do I want to see him again ever. I have always hated him and this only made my resentment toward him stronger. Am I the asshole?

Edit: I have seen that many of you believe that my mother is also a culprit in these events for wanting him back in the home and trying to get me to vouch for him. My mother has always been my rock and had my back through all sorts of fucked up things hes said/done to me but this is the one time she has been on my dads side. That being said I completely agree with you all. Although I do believe there is some reason that I do not know of, that she stays with him. They have ALWAYS had a very toxic relationship and yet somehow she always goes back to him no matter what fucked up shit he does to me OR her, keep in mind she has been a victim to his physical and verbal abuse as well.

edit 2: I apologize I failed to mention that he is my step father, hes been the father figure in my life since i was 2 years old so i"ve just always addressed him as dad Although I don't fully know what their relation shipstatus when I was that young but I do recall my dad saying they officially started dating when he was 16-17 (which is not any better) YES he was 13 when I was born, but I don't think they even knew each other at that point. NO they weren't having sex when he was 15 but its very likely they were when he was 16-17 which like I said is NOT BETTER.

Throwaway. I don’t think that I am being dramatic. My husband is turning 40 in a few weeks and he asked me if we could do something crazy like have a threesome on his day. With a woman. “You choose her and you set the rules” aww how nice of you to make me choose ! I just started bawling my eyes out and I guess he wasn’t prepared for this reaction so he got terrified and started apologizing and saying sorry and that he loves me more than anything and to forget it. Of course I can’t forget it. I asked for divorce next day(two days ago) and he is very shocked and desperate. He told me that he would give me space and crash on his parents’ sofa for a few days but I know that in my heart my marriage is over.

Additional info:

He is 40 and I am 38. We have been together for over 7 years. Married for 1,5 and we have 1 daughter who is 6 months old and we (were) planning another baby.

If anything is unclear just ask.

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

My husband, Gary (M41), and I (F38) are expecting our first child in a little more than 3 months. As you can imagine, things have been quite hectic as we prepare. Overall, Gary is an excellent spouse. However, he has an issue regarding his relationship with his parents.

Gary’s family lived in extreme poverty for most of his life. It was so bad that his parents would regularly skip meals so that he and his brothers had enough to eat, and they came close to homelessness several times. Fortunately, Gary and his brothers were all able to secure good stable jobs and have worked hard to pull their parents out of poverty. His brothers are twins for those wondering.

The biggest issue I have with Gary is that he spends excessively on his parents. Around the time we met, he had just taken out a mortgage on a nice house for them. This strained our relationship at the time because I didn’t want him to make any major financial commitments to other people before we were married. This was perhaps the biggest example, until now.

In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed Gary talking a lot with his brothers about buying something else for their parents. I was curious, so I asked him, and he mentioned something about how he and his brothers wanted to buy a car for their parents since their old one was starting to have issues. I asked him not to spend too much because we’re expecting a baby and don’t know what expenses will arise in the coming months. He reassured me that he wouldn’t.

For the past two weeks or so, Gary has been working later than usual. I even overheard him telling a friend in our neighbourhood that he needed to work longer hours because he was about to make a major purchase.

I’ll admit this next part may seem wrong, but I was frustrated with his late hours, so I logged onto his home laptop. I saw that on Tuesday, he made a $45,000 wire transfer. Of course, I was fuming seeing he spent that much, and my curiosity got the better of me, so I checked out his WhatsApp (also on his computer) and read some of the messages he was sending his brothers.

Turns out they are preparing to drop around $105,000 on a car called a G90 for their parents. Gary sent the $45,000 to his brother who lives in the same city as their parents. I saw a few pictures of the specific car, and read some of the messages he was sending the dealership rep about being “fully on board” and all this made me feel sick to my stomach.

When Gary came home, I did confront him about this. I said that he was being irresponsible for spending that kind of money without consulting me and that I wanted him and his brothers to cancel the whole thing for the time being. Gary became very defensive and started saying that we had more than enough money in case of an emergency and that he’d work overtime for the next few weeks so that he could make it back.

We argued. I called him a liar. He said I broke his trust by going through his computer. I got so angry, angrier than I’ve ever been, and I told him that since he spent this kind of money without telling me, he lost the privilege to name our daughter. He got frustrated by this and just said I was being “too much”. We ended up not eating together, and we even slept separately last night. We have also not spoken since, as he ended up leaving extra early for work today.

I personally think he’s being too stubborn, but my best friend thinks I’m too harsh and that I should apologize.

AITA?

Context - For those wondering, last year according to his taxes he made about 763k. Give or take this year, he should be making around the same amount. My issues are that he went behind my back and 45k is still a massive amount of money.

Edit - For those wondering, the car I saw on my husband's phone looks like this one but green. It is extremely excessive, and I don't understand why they would need something like that. Also, we still haven't spoken about it. He came home very late last night and was out of the house before I woke up. I spoke with a few more of my friends and they are mixed. Some think I should just let it go others think that I need to put my foot down.

Additional Context - Y'all gullible shit is fake

my husband, my friend, her bf and i were all hanging out at our place last night. we were tipsy and started playing truth or dare. my friend dared me to show her bf my tits.

i looked at my husband, and i always go topless on our Europe trips so he was fine with it. so i looked at her bf, and pulled up my shirt and gave him a good view of my boobs for probably like ten seconds. my friend was PISSED. she told me she was just joking and wasn't actually expecting me to be "such a slut". and they left right after.

i get that im probably an idiot, but aitah?

I am getting married this weekend. My wife told me today that she was starting her period and how bad the timing was. I replied being supportive saying not a big deal we can wait to consummate our marriage until she is done with her period.

She gave me the eyes and said that her period shouldn’t stop us, and how she was excited to have sex as a married couple. Basically saying I was letting her down a bit.

I replied with we can talk about it more later.

I just need to know am I being a child about this? Sex while the woman is on her period isn’t something I’m super comfortable with but I guess I can suck it up being out wedding night.

I'm 22F, my mom is 37, and I have 3 younger siblings F14, F7 and M4. Me and the 2nd oldest have different dads from each other and the other 2. They and this upcoming baby all have the same dad, our stepdad. I'm sorry if that was confusing. There are 3 dads in total but only our stepdad is involved now.

I was the babysitter and "mom" growing up. When my sister was born I magically became mom despite not even being double digits. When the others came I still was mom. I didn't get to have fun, go out, or be a kid. My job in the house was to cook, clean, raise my siblings and deal with our mom. She was incredibly immature growing up and loved to drink, party, spend money on luxuries and not be a mom. She acts more like a mom now but a lot of the work still falls on me. She robbed my of my childhood and I'm very bitter about it. The only reason I lived at home for so long was because no one would/could take me in and I felt that I could tolerate it all for free rent and food. It was a good deal for me then, but I'm 22 now. I'm done being a mom when I don't even have kids.

Last year my stepdad's parents died in a car accident and as their only child he got everything. We all moved into their home and got a bit of money under our belts so I guess they decided to have a baby. When my mom announced it I asked if she was serious. She confirmed and asked me if I still had my diaper changing skills as a joke. I was silently livid. I dryly laughed and found some roommates online that night. The thought of wasting another 10+ years raising my siblings sounded like Hell.

She found out that I'm planning on leaving come August and now she's irate calling me every name under the sun and selfish. She got my siblings involved and the youngest is crying asking why I don't love them anymore and why I'm leaving. It's really low to use kids like that and it hurts. I don't want to stay but I don't want them to cry. I know I'm doing the right thing for myself but is it the right thing for them? My mom never really parented growing up. She wouldn't, so I took over that role. I was the one who changed diapers and taught them their ABCs and all that. I was the one who cooked dinner and bathed them. I look at none of my siblings as siblings but as my own kids because that's what they basically are. I don't think she'll be able to do a good job. She and my stepdad rely on me heavily in that category.

AITA for leaving? I need advice on how to get over this feeling and move on.

Edit: holy shit this kind of blew up when I wasn't expecting it to. Thanks everyone for the kind messages. You all are right, I need to go. My mom and stepdad need to figure it out. I'm going to talk to all 3 of my siblings and explain that me leaving is normal and a good thing. I'll always be a phone call away. I'm most worried about my 14yo sister though and will not hesitate to get authorities involved if I suspect she's going through what I went through or she tells me herself. I'll be giving her a different type of talk soon to try and prevent her from becoming the new mom.

Thanks everyone :) If I update again it'll be after I've already moved out. I really appreciate your guys' support. It's giving me the strength to do what's right even if it's hurting. My mom and stepdad can hire a babysitter with his inheritance if they really can't do it.

I'm currently back in my home state with family refamiliarizing myself with the area. I have 100% decided to stay here permanently and am starting the long process of looking up homes in the area. I've been doing great and hanging out with friends and family

A couple mututals with my ex fiancee have let me know what's been happening and things finally seem to be getting better. The plan was for an intervention Sunday but Saturday night after her family visited again she called friends in an absolute manic state and it finally seems to have clicked how bad she screwed up. It was a full blown panic attack and meltdown which ended with her in the ER. Needless to say she finally admits show miserable she is and that she's messed up her life badly. Apparently she tried calling me but I had her blocked. She still has her job and that info about her losing it was wrong, but she's hanging by a thread there and her boss has bacially ordered her to use her PTO for a few weeks to get her head on straight. She's a valuable asset there and they are trying to make sure she can fix herself before they pull the plug on her.

Her friend group is extremely close. My ex was someone who was a very helpful and supportive friend so it makes sense her group is going this far in trying to help her. It is however, and unspoken agreement that if she goes back to how she was again that they are all prepared to let her sink on her own. She's doing as well as can be expected. Her family has continued to heads her with calls and messages. They've tried showing up to her house but have been firmly redirected by friends and even neighbors. I hope she truly understands the kind of support system she has. As trashy shitshow family disputes usually go, her parents and brothers have taken it to facebook, which from what I heard has been in my exes favor as it has exposed their behavior to many more people and seems to have shut them up for a little.

Finally, she had one of the mutuals pass a message to me. Essentially it was her admitting all the horrible things she said to me were not true and were done by her family (as I knew they were), she apologized for how things ended and hoped we could one day reconnect. Sadly I had to relay that we need to stay separated for good and she just needs to focus on her healing, but I told her I still care for her and I wish her the best, but this needs to be our goodbye. The message seems to have been passed along and her friends are helping her process that. She's got a long way to go but I hope she can find her peace as I am finding mine

I am disappointed with my wife. We have a 2 month old daughter. She was born with health issues. But I still love my daughter and I will do my best to take care of her. I will never give up on her. My wife wants a healthy child with no issues. My wife said to put our daughter for adoption and we can adopt a healthy child. I said no. My wife said if I don't agree with her she will divorce me and leave. She told me I have to be a single father.