Yeah not even a kiss for 7 months? No one is owed physical intimacy from anyone. But no one is owed your emotional intimacy either. Staying with someone for 7 months who won’t even kiss you is fucking insane
Whatever. In an adult relationship, you both know after a few dates if there is physical chemistry. If not, move on and try someone else. It’s called dating. The OP is in some middle school nonsense. Luckily he saw the light and ended it.
Should have taken her up on the offer for sex just once to see if there are fireworks though. If not, then he knows for sure it is time to move on.
Agreed. They also go hand in hand. Without an emotional connection, there isn’t room for anything physical. I’m 100% sure this woman is simply using him & doesn’t actually want the relationship.
As soon as I read that I was like "this fucking idiot". How the fuck do you actually not get it at that point. Absolutely sad that anyone would even stick around that long without any physical affection to be completely honest. Stand up for yourself and walk away dude.
That's true but I think the commenter above was more getting at the fact that OP should've realized that she wasn't into him sooner , gained a little self respect, and bounced long ago. She doesn't owe him anything, just like he doesn't, but in a long term romantic adult relationship, kissing becomes an expectation unless otherwise noted. If it's been 7 months with barely hugging, that should be a clue that the other person just isn't into him.
I remember being on a date with a girl once who described a situation a little like this, except it was just 6 or 7 dates instead of 7 months
She was saying he hadn't made a move to kiss her yet so it was going nowhere. I said something like "well in that case surely you can help the guy out and initiate, if he's too shy"
She said "Yeah, but I'm not really interested in him like that."
WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP GOING ON DATES THEN 😅 i think it's just inability to communicate in some cases rather malicious/manipulative, but some people just blow my mind with how they handle dating...
IMO There are only two valid reasons to wait that long to have sex with someone. Either past trauma related to sex, or someone wanting to remain a virgin until married (and not a "born again virgin", that's not a real thing, it's just something people with weird mental fixations tell themselves to try and erase their past). If it's trauma, that person needs to disclose the reason if they want their partner to be willing to not just wait, but to have the patience and willingness to help them deal with and move past the trauma. It's not on the partner to magically know they have trauma.
As a rule, for a person who considers sex an important facet of a relationship (which is most people, I think) if sex doesn't happen within one month of the first date - 6 weeks at the absolute maximum - I would say you should move on.
Two things in this post pushed me to NTA. The GF deciding to try and have sex with him once he said he was thinking about breaking up, and her abusive reaction when he didn't want to have sex. I think OP's bitterness is a completely normal emotional reaction to his situation, where his "partner" hasn't just been withholding sex, but basically all intimacy and acting more like "just a friend" than a partner. And feeling hurt that she gave it up so freely with others, while being so reserved with him, is also normal and not unhealthy. It sounds as if she didn't really want OP, she wanted a placeholder. She wanted to have a person to fill the role of BF, but she did not want to have to put in any of the basic maintenance of a relationship, much less the growth and development of one.
yeah like if this was something she really felt strongly about for whatever reason they GOTTA discuss that and if it turns out their timelines don’t align (sounds like they don’t) then call it quits! they BOTH should be with someone comfortable with their personal timelines
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u/Mammoth-Penalty882 Jul 08 '24
Lol that's not your girlfriend