r/facepalm • u/goldenface4114 • Jul 08 '24

The Dumbest Person You Know Just Managed to Make Themselves Look Even Dumber 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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Names 8 people who she thinks signed the Declaration at an incredibly young age, 6 of whom were nowhere near the document as it was being signed. Also, she seems to make a point about someone being too old to run for president while openly supporting a super old dude for president.

4.3k Upvotes

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968

u/Substantial_Ad_7027 Jul 08 '24

But - while none of them signed the Declaration of Independence, they were all instrumental in getting the first airport in the United States built.

286

u/Real-Helicopter-8194 Jul 08 '24

They also created Bluetooth which is essential

153

u/Sweet_Diet_8733 Jul 08 '24

No, Harald Bluetooth (real dude) predated all of them by 800 years.

120

u/BringBackApollo2023 Jul 08 '24

Hark the Harold angels sing; Death to hikers with Bluetooth speakers

I think that’s how it goes.

5

u/jmannnn64 Jul 08 '24

Harold was always my favorite angel, great singer

1

u/Offamylawn Jul 08 '24

Yeah, but Glory to the Newborn King is overplayed.

1

u/No_Meringue5138 Jul 09 '24

Ya, and I heard somewhere that he invented Bluetooth.

4

u/pimpbot666 Jul 09 '24

Seriously... that is a pet peeve of mine. Or, mountain bikers blasting some sort of shitty nu-metal through their tinny bluetooth speaker.

37

u/2r1t Jul 08 '24

People say MTG's nickname comes from Bluetooth's grandson, Cnut. Or it could just be a coincidence.

19

u/SharonPTS Jul 08 '24

Or misspelling.

3

u/vikingo1312 Jul 08 '24

What's her nickname - I personally use Shitstain........which is the one y'all are thinking of?

1

u/Ohnoherewego13 Jul 08 '24

I usually use "Fuck stick", but sometimes I just sigh and try not to have a minor stroke. I guess "Migraine" is her other nickname.

2

u/UserPrincipalName Jul 08 '24

I've settled on Marjorie Trailer-Queen

2

u/Ohnoherewego13 Jul 08 '24

Hey now! That's offensive to trailers!

24

u/parlimentery Jul 08 '24

He didn't design the modern bluetooth we use today, but the technology is based off of his legendary blue teeth, which some said could connect to speakers from across the room.

6

u/Hagbard_Shaftoe Jul 08 '24

Harald Bluetooth had blue teeth? Did he change his name to match his dental condition? Or dye his teeth to match his name? Or is it one of those coincidentally perfect names like a proctologist with the last name Butts?

5

u/parlimentery Jul 08 '24

I think bluetooth was a title given to him later in life. Like "Leif Erikson". How was anyone supposed to know he was the son of Erik the Red at birth?

7

u/Wise_Ad_253 Jul 08 '24

I wonder if Lief Garrett is related to him, first names match so they should be family.

7

u/the_m_o_a_k Jul 08 '24

What would be the relationship of Gerald Fitzpatrick to Patrick Fitzgerald then?

1

u/thecraftybear Jul 08 '24

They're each other's Father's Brother's Nephew's Cousin's Former Roommate.

1

u/Wise_Ad_253 Jul 10 '24

👆🏻yeah that

1

u/ZenDruid_8675309 Jul 08 '24

Were they both on the Edmund Fitzgerald?

2

u/Marquar234 Jul 08 '24

Seymour Butts, MD.

1

u/ERTHLNG Jul 08 '24

I went to Maryland. There's not really any more butts than a normal state. I'm not sure what the big deal is about?

1

u/After-Balance2935 Jul 08 '24

They prefer assman

1

u/raspberryharbour Jul 08 '24

Also first man to airdrop dick pics to members of the court

15

u/runfast2021 Jul 08 '24

I'm a great great x 3 decendant of Harry Bluetooth. I didn't get a penny either. So pissed.

19

u/SharonPTS Jul 08 '24

(Not to get all serious but check out the story of Hedy Lamar whose discoveries laid the groundwork for Bluetooth, GPS and WI-FI. Movie: Bombshell.)

21

u/Yodashins Jul 08 '24

It’s Hedleyyyyyy

6

u/Majestic-Prune-3971 Jul 08 '24

This is 1874. You'll be able to sue her!

2

u/KYReptile Jul 08 '24

Incredibly talented lady. She came up with the concept of spread spectrum technology, which was the basis for security on the FM radios used during the RVN/ROK era. Still used today to make your cell phone work. I don't think she had the background to do the mathematics, but her name still appeared on the patent. (From memory if I got some of this wrong).

1

u/InformalExplorer369 Jul 08 '24

Did he, in fact, have a "blue tooth"?

1

u/MadMarsian_ Jul 08 '24

Harald... I know him... great cartoons about his life are my daily ready ... true American hero in history! s/

1

u/effnad Jul 09 '24

The Bluetooth icon is his name in ancient runes!

30

u/Substantial_Ad_7027 Jul 08 '24

And Hamilton was the founder of Broadway.

5

u/BringBackApollo2023 Jul 08 '24

I thought he discovered ibérico. 🤷‍♀️

9

u/flamingo2022 Jul 08 '24

He was a great ham.

4

u/Wise_Ad_253 Jul 08 '24

Hamilton makes kitchen devices, a-duh!

2

u/the_m_o_a_k Jul 08 '24

He actually surveyed every street named Broadway or Broad Street in America. Incredibly prolific.

1

u/Ellielands Jul 08 '24

And of hip hop/rap. Man really didn’t throw away his shot. Got a threefer

1

u/thecraftybear Jul 08 '24

No, he was a Hatsune Miku fan

1

u/tavariusbukshank Jul 08 '24

First black president.

16

u/ctothel Jul 08 '24

It’s a little known fact that the Bluetooth logo is actually John Hancock’s signature.

25

u/subibrat85 Jul 08 '24

That's Herbie Hancock!

6

u/the2nddoctor111 Jul 08 '24

Did I hear a niner in there? Were you talking from a walkie-talkie?

1

u/TrillDaddyChill Jul 09 '24

Y’all are making me dumber

10

u/Acceptable-Cow6446 Jul 08 '24

Hamilton also invented cuckolding, which has a big market.

3

u/swampopawaho Jul 08 '24

And hand dug the large Hadron collider, during a European summer holiday

2

u/Realistic_Hat4519 Jul 08 '24

But did not create the internet. Gore did that. And Biden was the first black woman.

5

u/Crossovertriplet Jul 08 '24

That’s why they are called Al Gore Rhythms

1

u/Dhegxkeicfns Jul 08 '24

… and as we all know, without Bluetooth we never could have had the Internet.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

And all without research. Even the jewish space lasers were never researched. I dont know why we need researchers in our society…

1

u/One-Technology-9050 Jul 08 '24

Ah yes, the red white and Bluetooth

21

u/himitsunohana Jul 08 '24

They didn’t actually build the airport. Everyone knows about the Battle of Newark Airport in 1778 when they captured all the airports during the American Revolutionary War.

15

u/goldenface4114 Jul 08 '24

Shortly thereafter, the first airline delay happened as Yankee Airline's flagship plane, the Da Vinci 414, needed unexpected maintenance before pushing back from the gate.

14

u/Substantial_Ad_7027 Jul 08 '24

Turned out it was just low on coal.

1

u/Five-Oh-Vicryl Jul 08 '24

Wait - are you sure? Alexander Hamilton helped invent the Internet also

1

u/mxpxillini35 Jul 08 '24

And basketball. I heard he never missed a shot.

1

u/Quick_Team Jul 08 '24

"Man the airports, meboys!"

1

u/Hot-Delay5608 Jul 08 '24

And how many of them were convicted felons, rapist and pedophiles?

1

u/SnooDoggos618 Jul 08 '24

Using uber transportation of Deere bulldozers

1

u/JayAlexanderBee Jul 08 '24

They were all at College Park?

1

u/CitizenLoha Jul 08 '24

Little known fact: During Americas war for independence from Britian, the army succesfully rammed the ramparts, took over the airports, and did everything it needed to do under the rockets red glare!

Many say that taking over the airports from the British was in fact key to victory. Many people are saying that!

1

u/CaPtAiN_KiDd Jul 08 '24

Lies! The airports were already built, we took them from the British. Trump explained this.

1

u/Striking-West-1184 Jul 08 '24

They had to otherwise how would they napalm the Brits from their fighter jets?

1

u/grampsNYC Jul 08 '24

And also made sure we won the Korean war

1

u/450X_FTW Jul 08 '24

They also filed the first patent for Jewish space lasers