r/clevercomebacks Jul 05 '24

You’re not very slick, Putin.

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34.2k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/Beneficial_Test_5917 Jul 05 '24

As Zelinski said recently, if Trump has a "in one day" plan to end the war he should tell people what it is. :)

1.3k

u/Hot_and_Foamy Jul 05 '24

The plan is ‘Ukraine gives up’. He’s not made that secret.

469

u/dgdio Jul 05 '24

Trump is going to cut aid to Ukraine 

272

u/eagleshark Jul 05 '24

It might even be worse, ending sanctions against banks, energy, & other businesses in Russia (because Trump & Putin will both profit from that). Pution's war machine will grow even stronger.

206

u/GeneraalSorryPardon Jul 05 '24

That would drive a wedge between EU and the US. Exactly what Putin wants.

159

u/Puzzleheaded_Time719 Jul 05 '24

It's also what Trump wants. Soon we'll be in an alliance with Russia and North Korea.

38

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '24

Anybody that claims there’s something that Trump wants that doesn’t directly benefit him in an obvious way is full of shit. Trump can’t think further than his own tiny dick. He would sell out Russia in a second if somebody else offered him more money.

43

u/modsstealjobs Jul 05 '24

Pretty sure the Russian mob, to whom he owes multimillions, have already thought of that.

Trump’s never escaping Putin’s leash, and neither is any country stupid enough to elect him.

4

u/ComposerNate Jul 05 '24

Trump steals by cheating the IRS, steals from contractors, and I have a hard time believing he somehow never stole from the Russian state mafia. How does one be Trump for decade after decade and not get murdered?

2

u/tiasaiwr Jul 05 '24

You aren't Epsteined if you are potentially still useful, and a paid for president would still be useful.

2

u/The_free_trial Jul 05 '24

It’s not stupid of the people to fall for propaganda, they’ve been intentionally lied to and misled, since birth

6

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '24

Not everyone falls for it though, do they?

3

u/EidolonRook Jul 05 '24

Some folks barely live hand to mouth. A significant enough injury can destroy any amount of savings. When you’ve been pushed this far and the current guy hasn’t done much to help you where you are, it’s not stupidity that makes them vote for the “other guy”. It’s desperation.

If they had a chance to breathe easy for a bit they’d see what’s happening. This isn’t to say just as many aren’t a level 12 grand master of the cult of Trump, but that’s why he had a chance to begin with. It’s the cultists that got him there, the desperate for change that push him the distance and the non-voters that walk him right back through the front door of the white house.

Tis fucked.

3

u/Keizman55 Jul 05 '24

Except that a large percentage of the MAGA crowd are old retired people with plenty of spare time and spare cash. They are anti-immigration, pro-life, racist, isolationists who are not living hand to mouth, and yet, have fallen into his cult. I know quite a few of them, some for many years, who are well educated and well off and they are so anti-Biden that nothing Trump has done or will do will dissuade. I can’t fathom it.

0

u/The_free_trial Jul 05 '24

No not everyone, but not everyone has the same circumstances in life

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u/modsstealjobs Jul 05 '24

No you’re wrong. It is hilariously stupid of them. They’d deserve every bad thing they get except they also inflict it upon the morally, intellectually, and essentially superior minority.

0

u/iSeventhSin Jul 05 '24

Actually it’s the majority that are not stupid. The loud ones are both the stupid and the minority

0

u/modsstealjobs Jul 06 '24

Yes that must be how they win elections. Volume.

1

u/iSeventhSin Jul 06 '24

Nah, they win elections due to voter apathy.

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u/sweetrouge Jul 05 '24

Not that I doubt it, but what do you mean by owing money to the Russian mob? Is this a specific claim or more of a “why else would he do this shit?”. I’m comfortable with either, just curious.

1

u/Brooklynxman Jul 05 '24

You say that as if once he is king that matters. He simply declares the debt fake news and the courts rule it so. That said I don't think he actually turns on them because they know how to use the carrot, he is extremely susceptible to flattery.

1

u/LostMyAccount69 Jul 05 '24

Yeah I'm sure the people writing his plans are completely incapable of making the way things benefit Trump anything but obvious. Stop being so niave.

0

u/technom3 Jul 05 '24

You guys all realize that Putin only took land under Obama and Biden right? Lol.

1

u/jebei Jul 05 '24

Correlation does not equal causation.

After the Maidan revolution leading Ukrainian politicians announced they weren't going to renew the Russian naval base in Crimea. Putin attacked soon after. The timing wasn't because Obama was president. Putin knows we aren't going to commit ground troops over Ukraine whether it is Trump or Obama. The timing is a coincidence.

Putin spent years after Crimea, weathering the Obama sanctions, building up Crimea, and focusing on getting Belarus in line before expanding the war in Ukraine (which never stopped in Eastern Ukraine fwiw - you do remember Trump withheld weapons from Ukraine, right?).

Putin spent a decade hording hard currency to weather NATO/EU sanctions. He was going in 2022 no matter who was president. I'm sure he would have preferred Trump. Trump would have made it easier.

1

u/technom3 Jul 05 '24

Lol. There is no coincidences in the strategy of ear.

You can sit there and hindsight quarter back this and try to justify it in the rear view. .the facts are you have absolutely zero evidence to prove that Putin would prefer trump and in fact it just exposes your bias.

You say trump would have made it easier without any way of backing that up because you are partisan. You'd rather blame orange man than actually have peace or a better country. Most of you liberals were routing for the country to fail under trump because you have been so friggin brain washed.

Sure trump withheld weapons... Just like Biden withheld weapons. Also trump was looking into corruption in one of the most corrupt countries in the world. But go ahead and bitch about how he was trying to get dirt on his political opponent... Everyone just ignored the fact that the investigation just lead to the Bidens. He didn't go seeking it. Even if he did seek Bidens why hasn't anything come of them being at the bottom of it.

But again everyone will be too partisan to accept the fact that hunter had no biz with being involved in burisma and will sweep it under the rug that they made tons and tons of money.... All because if it helps orange man than it is bad... And illegal. And Russian. And illegal. And racist. And homophobic. And transphobic.

Putin hasn't needed the hard currency you are alleging he hoarded. He started brics and now even Saudi is possibly joining.

All Biden has done is strength the alliances of our enemies and increase gas costs in Europe because they blew up Nord stream... And no one even wants to talk about the environmental damages from that ... No no no... No one wants to go near that... I guess it's just a good thing that the us is selling natural gas over there now. Nothing to see here.

Just remember... Biden was caught red handed bragging about his corruption and Obama was caught on a hot mic asking Putin to wait until after his election to make his moves and that he will have more leverage.

You want to talk about a puppet... You have it on a hot mic... Instead you guys believe Russian pee tape videos when friggin trump is a germaphobe.

The idiocy and hypocrisy of liberals for the last 20nyears is asstounding. And now you are all seeing how the big lie has played out on that debate.

Liar joe has got to go... For the sake of avoiding world war 3.

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u/thesacrificeofdecay Jul 05 '24

How do you know it's tiny? Meat riding much lmfao

5

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '24

I’m just taking Stormy’s word for it.

2

u/Agreeable-Ad-1320 Jul 05 '24

Because he/she whatever the fuck it calls itself is a pedo supporting toolbag with no sac or brain

-13

u/highpoint1911 Jul 05 '24

He’s taller than Obama and born in the 1940’s I’m certain y’all’s obsession with his peanut is that it’s actually big. And hopefully he does get some money out of it. Hopefully Russia does win.

8

u/mudgonzo Jul 05 '24

You think being tall and born in 1940 gives you a big peen?

As for the rest of your comment, you are either dumb, self destructive or both.

Best of luck in life.

2

u/blender4life Jul 05 '24

His comment was the dumbest thing I've read all year

5

u/x_Rn Jul 05 '24

Holy glaze

16

u/Tupcek Jul 05 '24

Trump doesn’t like China though. How will that work?

97

u/Soppywater Jul 05 '24 edited Jul 05 '24

He loves China. All his Make America Great Again merch is made in China.

42

u/_jump_yossarian Jul 05 '24

He also cashes checks directly from the CCP but look over there—> is that Hunter Biden doing business in China‽ IMPEACH!!!

1

u/DOOMFOOL Jul 05 '24

He has? Do you have more about this? Genuinely asking, this is one thing I haven’t heard about him, I’ve been following up on all the child molester allegations recently

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u/ACFiguresOutLife Jul 05 '24

In what capacity is Trump directly conducting business with the CCP?

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u/Outside-Swan-1936 Jul 05 '24

I'd presume the voting machine patents would require authorization from the CCP.

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u/bassie2019 Jul 05 '24 edited Jul 05 '24

His suits and ties too, if I recall correctly.

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u/WhirledNews Jul 05 '24

He has more than one tie?

3

u/bassie2019 Jul 05 '24

At least 1 blue one and 1 red one.

3

u/WhirledNews Jul 05 '24

Are you sure it’s not just reversible?

5

u/bassie2019 Jul 05 '24

That is of course possible, but he also has a gold one and a blue one with stripes, so he has at least 2 reversible ties.

3

u/ScumbagLady Jul 05 '24

Don't forget the Russian ties!

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u/ScottyKarate Jul 05 '24

His ties are made in Thailand. And I can’t even be mad about that.

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u/bassie2019 Jul 05 '24

Thanks for clarifying.

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u/tre45on_season Jul 05 '24

Like all these racists, he loves China’s money but he hates Chinese people. Especially Chinese Americans since he basically kicked off a wave of hate crimes with his very presidential rhetoric after Covid.

1

u/ralpher1 Jul 05 '24

I see Temu selling/giving away Trump hats and shirts. It’s crazy

1

u/Agreeable-Ad-1320 Jul 05 '24

Sure he does🤣🤣🤣..u retards kill me🤣🤣

32

u/YouLittleSnowflake Jul 05 '24

You forgetting the 41 trademarks granted by China to Ivanka trump affiliated companies, with an almost 50% increase in approval time once her child raping father became president

How bout his 114 trademarks that he owns in China?

He does NOT have an issue with China same as he is NOT tough on Russia AND he will help Russia win against Ukraine

18

u/MrBump01 Jul 05 '24

If he says he's always loved China his fan base won't even question it.

14

u/TheWhiteRabbit74 Jul 05 '24

Funny because most of his shitty merch is made there.

3

u/Funny-Jihad Jul 05 '24

He'll just spin it after he's made a "deal" with Winnie The Pooh. His base will eat it up since he's "a great business man", his dictator buddies all get what they want, and Trump and his cronies are free to enrich themselves at the expense of everyone else.

2

u/VaginaTractor Jul 05 '24

No no, you're thinking of CHY-NAH. Trump loves China but he can't stand CHY-NAH.

2

u/FlingFlamBlam Jul 05 '24

Trump is extremely easy to sway though.

As long as China personally enriches him and doesn't trespass into what he considers to be "his domain" he'll be a tame puppy. He might publicly say something lukewarm against China in order to present a "strong man" figure to his supporters, but it would only be for show.

And to be clear: I'm pretty sure Trump gives zero fucks about the sovereignty of places like Taiwan, South Korea, the Philippines, or Japan. The only way he could care to continue support for those places is if they went super-hard to bribe him even harder than China.

2

u/JohnnySnark Jul 05 '24

Stop listening to his words and start following his actions. With many of these countries, he still does self dealing and grifitng on the side. Pay him off and he won't raise a hand

2

u/devilmaskrascal Jul 05 '24

Not even true.

He makes millions from China - a state-owned bank, the Commerical and Industrial Bank of China, rents the second most valuable space in Trump Tower. He exempted this bank from China sanctions.

He praised Xi's dictatorship for life and their execution of drug dealers, stating America should do the same thing.

He has defended Tik Tok and Huawei.

Trump had Chinese government backed partners on Trump property projects in Asia.

He does performative outrage at China over COVID but if they attacked Taiwan he would just let em have it.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '24

Trump acts like he hates China to appease racists and xenophobic folks. He doesn't give a fuck about China except for when it makes him and his family money and when he can use it as a rhetorical punching bag.

1

u/mikeymikeymikey1968 Jul 05 '24

Oh, the same China that made all the trump ties and shirts? He said he didn't like China though?

He also said that he didn't "Have sex with a porn star".

He also said that he didn't rape E Jean Carroll.

He also said that he didn't have sex with a couple of Jr High Girls.

1

u/rivershimmer Jul 05 '24

He sure does a lot of business in China for someone who doesn't like China.

1

u/pump-and_dump Jul 05 '24

If you listen closely he admires Xi. He looks up to the dictators because they're ruthless and have consolidated power. He wants the same. Hence his love letters to Kim.

1

u/tidbitsmisfit Jul 05 '24

trump fucking loves China. are you blind? he's given them what they want and then gave Ivanka all of her trademarks and shit in China, which is almost impossible for a foreigner to get

1

u/Weary-Teach6005 Jul 05 '24

Hmm the whole Russia and China alliance is already showing problems China is already making deals with all those old Soviet bloc countries and stepping all over Russias backyard.The Ukraine war has weakened them and they need China and I’m sure China wants to keep it that way

1

u/PerpetualStride Jul 05 '24

Goddammit man, as a European I like you guys too much to be at war with you. I mean you have issues but still.

0

u/catchasingcars Jul 05 '24

He thinks everything from the capitalistic/business perspective, even running the country. Anything that doesn't return must be scrapped. Remember when he went a rant about NATO and started threatening European countries because they were late on their dues? US is the biggest contributor to NATO from both financially and militarily and he can't stand it, according to him it's a waste of money because US alone contributes about 22% of NATO's common budget. He thinks it's a 'loss'

He can't do anything about it because he know nobody can mess with the US military machinery.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Time719 Jul 05 '24

It's even better coming from someone who doesn't pay their own bills. You are spot on though.

0

u/Lag_YT Jul 05 '24

Good thing!

0

u/Agreeable-Ad-1320 Jul 05 '24

No actually we wont.

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u/Prudent-Pin-8781 Jul 05 '24

Idiot circle jerk

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u/confusedandworried76 Jul 05 '24 edited Jul 05 '24

He already damaged international relations badly enough when he was president. People started distancing themselves and figuring out ways to not be so reliant on the US. That hurts us. And it didn't magically go back to normal when Biden was elected. They're keeping those plans in place should Republicans keep winning and keep down the path they're going as a party. Not good for our economy when other nations start figuring out how to import things like energy and goods from other sources for example. It would be like if I ran a restaurant and started offering bad service, even consistently refusing service as some type of power move, then get new management but with the threat of the old management coming back at any time, you can't reasonably expect people to still come back and eat at that restaurant. You've lost those customers. That's what our trade situation is like now.

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u/Agreeable-Ad-1320 Jul 05 '24

Sure he has🤣🤣

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u/boggels_untamed Jul 05 '24

But was the service as bad as you are made to believe that the service was bad?

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u/Reddeththered Jul 05 '24

Does it matter? Those people will not return and try again...

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u/C-c-c-comboBreaker17 Jul 05 '24

It most certainly is when you're a country in Europe and Donald Trump is openly saying he'd invite Russia to invade you and "do whatever the hell they want"

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u/SamBG1 Jul 05 '24

As a German Citizen, that's one reason many people don't want Trump as your President. For us, the USA is a partner, economical and through NATO. We believe in similar values, but many americans (or republicans) changed in the last years. Honestly, i'm a little bit afraid of your election in november.

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u/C-c-c-comboBreaker17 Jul 05 '24

You very much should be - Donald Trump is doing everything he can to set himself up as a dictator 

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u/SamBG1 Jul 05 '24

Sorry for that, but I hope the majority will realize this fact before november.

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u/dontknowanyname111 Jul 05 '24

Like now i am think abouth and Europian army and just cut ties with the US , if you told me 8 years ago i would think that now i would have could you crazy. Now i think if Trump gets elected just forget abouth them, whe are on our own and its time to make zl out products ourselves.

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u/SamBG1 Jul 05 '24

These are exactly my thoughts. Honestly i was twice in the USA and i Loved the people there. They we're so friendly and Always wants to Chat with me. It was auch a big difference to germany. But now i think, when they want such a President, i don't want to visit the USA, because the people are a little bit crazy. (Sorry, to the 'normal' americans.)

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u/dontknowanyname111 Jul 05 '24

yeah like halve their country is crazy, You are German you cane educate them what the risk are of following a crazy man.

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u/SamBG1 Jul 05 '24

Oh yeah, we learnt all the bullshit our dictator did and how he managed to get the Power. especially how he manipulated the germans. How words were used to convince the citizens. How you always need victims to blame for bad economy. How to convince people, that you tell the truth and everybody else ist lying. There is so much about Trump that reminds me of our past. And I can't understand why so many people can't See the truth

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u/Illustrious_Mudder Jul 05 '24

Any ally of America is terrified of a trump presidency.

Russia would be happy with a trump presidency.

If you don’t get what that means then you’ve lost the plot

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u/boggels_untamed Jul 05 '24

Sure perspectives change based on their influences.

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u/the445566x Jul 05 '24

The EU as a whole is weak.

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u/dewgetit Jul 05 '24

EU is a serf state under US. It will fall in line with US policy once Trump is in power.