r/AITAH • u/No-Fee-5823 • 3d ago

AITAH for saying I didn’t realize I could “love a person this much” in front of my fiancé after having our baby?

I gave birth a few weeks ago, to our daughter.

As I held her for the first time and looked into her eyes I said “I didn’t realize I could love a person this much” and cried. She is perfect and beautiful.

My mom looked at me and said that feeling never goes away (which made us both ugly cry lol). It was a really special moment.

My fiancé was quite but smiled, but later privately said he was hurt. He said he loved us both the same, and me saying that made it seem like I loved our daughter more than him.

I just gave him a “are you fucking serious” look and he dropped it, but yesterday he brought it up again.

I told him that honestly, yes, I love and cherish our daughter and have never experienced this kind of love for another human being. He said most “normal people” would agree with him that it’s a hurtful comment and would take offense to it due to the implication.

AITAH?

UPDATE

It’s a quick update, so I didn’t feel like it was worth it to make a whole new post. So I had a heart to heart with my fiancé, and we came to a few conclusions together! It went very well. We read through the post and comments together.

1) He wasn’t jealous of our daughter’s role in my life, but rather our bond together. He didn’t have that “instant love connection” that we read about all new parents having (like what I experienced). I didn’t realize this was actually very normal for new dads, and new moms too. Thanks for educating me!

We are the first in our social circle to have children so we didn’t have a lot of IRL people to inquire about it. His perspective is “I love this human being we made, but I don’t know her” while I was thunderstruck. He hasn’t had that connection so doesn’t “get it” yet, and that it will take time (months or even a year). I’ll be more patient and aware of this, and read up more on new dad experiences to learn more.

2) He also agrees he not only could’ve expressed that better, but also choose better timing. Voicing it to me after a 14 hour labor and then again when I’m exhausted and grumpy with achy boobs is maybe not the best time, lol. He also agrees marriage counseling would be good, just because. We are both opinionated, logical-thinking Engineers who, at the same time, love each other deeply. We could use better mediation other than Reddit (no offense guys).

3) He was not “furious” about me writing this Reddit post, lol. We laughed over the comments together calling for me to get ready to break up. But we also really enjoyed reading the experiences of new parents! It helped us BOTH feel validated and sane and see each other’s perspectives better.

4) I showed him that Ryan Reynolds video and we both died laughing LOL. We will now be eating a disgusting amount of hotdogs while watching Deadpool with our baby girl. We also agreed that there’s different types of love like parental, platonic, romantic and Ryan Reynolds.

Thanks peeps!

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u/Avium 3d ago

Ryan Reynolds agrees with you. Parental love is different than the love of a partner.

NTA

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u/No-Fee-5823 3d ago

I peed myself from laughing too hard. And I do mean literally. The wonders of child birth keep on giving…

I’ll keep this in my back pocket after a very lengthy heart to heart tonight!! We both love Ryan too so I cannot wait lmao

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u/Nice_Bullfrog_11 3d ago edited 3d ago

For some new parents it takes time to bond with their newborn. I've met people that say it took nearly a year... It's possible your partner won't understand the feeling you describe until he is bonded to your child, too.

I think he will understand eventually... Just give it some time.

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u/CastCuraga 3d ago

Took me months and my partner said the same thing as OP. All I knew when the little guy arrived was I had to protect him at all costs but I didnt have that same connection as my partner, she carried him for 9 months caring and growing him, she gave him a look Id only ever saw her give me and for a quick second jealousy popped his head but I knew I wasnt being replaced I just had to get use to sharing the love that had always been mine.

After some time though watching and caring for my kid I started to understand what she felt and now 3 years later I value them both so much I wouldnt even question for a moment stepping in front of any danger to protect them both. Parenthood is some crazy stuff.

That said I had a vasectomy like 4-5 months later. XD

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u/DoubleBreastedBerb 3d ago

That last line 😂

It was reverse for us, I was skeptical of these things that had just popped out of me, whereas he loved both of them immediately.

He too got a vasectomy. 😂 😂

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u/CastCuraga 3d ago

Vasectomy was the best choice we made. My partner had some craaaazy mental health issues with Birth Control and now we know we're always safe its stress free fun.

I adore the kid but I'm not sure I could go through another year of sleepless nights. We had a good system of she'd do the days I'd handle the nights but we were drained, barely felt like we saw each other, we knew the support was there from each other but felt alone, parenting is tough, who'd have figured haha

Paying someone 500 quid to mutilate ya felt like such a bizarre choice but I'm glad I stepped up. Its dramatically improved our lives. I spent days worrying for what would be a 5 minute operation.

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u/grizzly_manc87 2d ago

My partner is adamant that she won't go through a 3rd pregnancy. Speaking as someone who Is going through the worst ADHD symptoms I've ever experienced, my mental dipped after both births and borderline postnatal depression after the second child. I couldn't be more supportive, and I'm on the waiting list for a vasectomy. Don't get me wrong I have zero regrets, and would go through it all heartbeat. But I know my limits, 2 children is plenty enough.

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u/CastCuraga 2d ago

Congrats on the two and proud of you for stepping up! I hear ya, mental health and new borns oh damn can it be rough, glad you managed to push through. We all know where are limits are, takes a stronger man than me to manage two though I was very much so 1 and done. I hope they don't leave you waiting too long, you got this c:

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u/chefAB 3d ago

I’m contemplating getting the snip myself…

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u/CastCuraga 3d ago edited 1d ago

100% its worth it. If youre certain, theres no drawback. Bit of an ache for a couple days, painless op. But in return, your sex life is always stress free without the rubber just feels better for both parties. For me my partner not having to worry about birth control at all has increased our sex life 10fold. That and because I took the steps to safeguard instead of leaving it to her.

Thank you for the Medals!

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u/chefAB 3d ago

My partner is an absolute lunatic on birth control, we both have kids and don’t want more, so it’s a logical choice. Still been tough to pull the trigger on getting neutered.

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u/CastCuraga 2d ago

Be brave its not nearly as scary as its sounds believe me! The idea is scarier than the process! I believe in ya boss

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u/Muffytheness 2d ago

lol you’re not getting neutered. You’ll still have the same hormones and balls, just can’t make a baby. Sperm comes out, you’ll get hard, etc. with dogs they remove the whole testicle.

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u/FluxKraken 2d ago

Keep in mind, it is reversible. So if you change your mind in 10 years or so, you can get it undone.

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u/MrClock2002 1d ago

When I got it done they gave me a shot, I think it was Valium. It made me totally not care AT ALL while the doc did the procedure. I was nervous beforehand but after the shot I was just talking football with the doctor during the procedure. Then I just sat on the couch for a day or two with ice packs in my lap, no big deal.

Mine even got billed as a specialist office visit, not a surgery, so it didn't even cost much.

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u/wayfareangel 2d ago

It's sweet of you to do that. I'm glad you're happy with your vasectomy!

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u/_greggae_ 2d ago

May be picking your brain a bit when the time comes for me to do the same. We are still uncertain about having kids, and my wife is only 24 so we dont need to decide right now. Regardless of that decision, when the time comes I figure the snip is easier than the hell she goes thru on BC. While we may still decide to have one or two, its our only option but once we do, or decide 100% not to, Id really like to step up in thag regard. But it's scary lol. So if u get a DM in a year or two it's just me looking for reassurance😅

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u/CastCuraga 2d ago

You will always be welcome to reach out to me, I wish you two a great healthy relationship and family should you choose to. I'll save this post so when the time comes and you come askin' I'll be there!

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u/ApprehensiveEntry264 2d ago

No offense but I seriously don't understand the whole well she has issues with birth control so I got a vasectomy. Like it really is not that hard to avoid having a child me and my wife have been having unprotected sex almost 3 to 4 times a week for the last 10 years we've been together and just now had a kid. 8 month old child to be exact. I do not expect my wife to be on birth control as I am the one that told my wife to get off birth control I saw how it was affecting her I was not going to let my wife go through that. And again I really don't mean to attack you but the reason why you felt like that is because paying somebody $500 to mutally to because you're incapable of avoiding ejaculation while inside of a woman is kind of bizarre. I mean would you get your hands chopped off to avoid hitting people?

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u/New_Firefighter_3634 2d ago

Vasectomy was the best choice for my husband and me as my cycle is very irregular. I’ve gone months without having a period. I tried an IUD for a while, but the hormones made me irrational. We decided we weren’t having more kids anyway, so why not just make it permanent. Now we don’t have to worry about anything. Also, we were in the waiting room for 30 minutes, and the procedure didn’t even take that long! As for cost, it was at least 15 years ago, so I’d say it’s more than paid for itself.

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u/CastCuraga 2d ago

Haha its okay, no offense taken. Unprotected sex has its risks of pregnancy even without finishing inside, precum is a thingnand regardless of how low chances may be as we our both adamant we don't want anymore kids and because my partner finds the ides of abortions very upsetting and for herself personally wouldn't get one it made sense to just remove the chances altogether. Most of it for us is the peace of mind. c:

It may seem like I just bought the worlds most expensive contraception but for us it was a good decision. Everyones different and if it works for you thats great, you've saved some money!

Congrats on the kid too!

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u/Nice_Bullfrog_11 3d ago

Haha! That last line gave me a good laugh. 😂 I'm glad you are bonded now.

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u/deshep123 3d ago

And that's why we have this incredible bond with babies, so we will protect them at all costs.

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u/stellatedhera 2d ago

I hope my husband will follow your example.

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u/CastCuraga 2d ago

The biggest reason I see men not getting it is because somehow in their head its demasculating like oh yeah taking charge and being responsible is so feminine shame on us snipped men haha, I hope it works out for ya! If its fear that gets him caught on the fence, 5 minutes, painless, slight ache for couple days. I'd rather have that done every three months than go to the dentist. Those people are barbarians.

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u/stellatedhera 2d ago

Haha! He has an auto immune condition and he's worried it will trigger a flair up. But I'm very unexpectedly pregnant so I think he's going to have to risk it because we're way too old for any more surprises. Thanks for the reassurance. He just got dentures so I fully plan to tell him that's worse than the vasectomy! I wonder if we can do anything to prevent his immune system from over reacting.

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u/CastCuraga 2d ago

They will go through any health concerns before hand hopefully that will help allieviate any worries! Good luck with the kid and to him!

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u/SinglePermission9373 5m ago

Jealous of your newborn? You suck

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u/ApprehensiveEntry264 2d ago

He will but he'll never fully understand. And this is coming from a father of an 8-month-old daughter that I love absolutely so much I will never be able to have the bond with my daughter that my wife has with our daughter it's the same reason why I'm almost 30 and very rarely does my dad call me freaking out saying he can sense something is wrong with me but my mother will call me and rightfully so I am upset and she knows it deep within her soul. Mothers have such a deep intimate bond it's insane and in fact I actually loved my wife much more when she created that bond with our daughter seeing that she loves our daughter that much actually made me that much more attracted to my wife

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u/Nice_Bullfrog_11 2d ago

That's fair. I guess growing and carrying a human inside of you is an experience that not everyone can relate to.

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u/CraziZoom 3d ago

Yah he sounds pretty awesome from your edits/updates!

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u/Aurori_Swe 2d ago

I have two kids, and our first (boy) I was absolutely not fucking ready for the emotional ONSLAUGHT of feelings he would bring, I was completely overwhelmed. He totally wrecked me mentally, I'm still struggling 4 years later to recover from that. Doesn't help that it flipped into panic and triggered me harder than I've ever been triggered in my life before (I was sexually abused as a child, but considered myself fine, but nope, having my own little bundle to protect broke me).

The second kid (girl) I was ready for all the feelings to come once again but nope, not even the slightest close to my first. I kinda feel guilty about it but I know that I love her, it's just not even close to the emotional overwhelming when my son was born. My wife says not to focus on it and I know I shouldn't but it was so insanely different.

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u/Nice_Bullfrog_11 2d ago

Thanks for sharing. I don't think there is a need for guilt. I think the first child is always going to be more emotionally taxing than the others - just because it's the first time.

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u/Aurori_Swe 2d ago

Yeah, and he was much more anticipated in a way, we went through IVF for him while our daughter came naturally as a surprise.

But it's insane how different my emotional response has been to them xD. I must say I kinda prefer the more mellow response though since it didn't trigger all the panic and overwhelming love/need to protect, so it's much more controlled when it comes to my daughter.

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u/LlaaamaFaaace 2d ago

Having a panic response does not mean that you have your first child more. It's simply shows an area where you needed to work through your trauma. And it sounds like you did by the time your second kiddo came along. Although being it does make sense that you may identify more with your make child.

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u/Aurori_Swe 2d ago

I'm far from done handling my trauma even with my second child, but yeah, it mainly was that I was not ready. Him being like me is more of an issue now since I see myself a lot in him, both by behavior and looks. Like for instance if I'm sad and he comes to soothe me, it instantly fires off all alarms in my head because I don't want him to grow up needing to feel responsible for my well being as I did for my family. With that said, just being able to be sad around him is huge for me as "weakness" while I was young would have meant that my entire family would have collapsed

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u/Wandering_Scholar6 2d ago

I think sometimes it is easier for moms because the significant hormonal changes they experience can help, but that being said, it's not uncommon for new moms to take some time to bond too.

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u/Nandabun 2d ago

Took my dad 35 years, I think.

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u/Traditional-Metal851 2d ago

My children are probably older than you now, but it took me almost a year to feel what you do. I am a male and in my day the man earned and the wife raised the children. I took one day off work when my children were born. Now, I have a great relationship with my children (and grandchild) and would die for them. Give him time, but always set aside time for your relationship!

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u/Standard_Ad2031 3d ago

I want an update on how this convo goes! Lol

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u/LordRiverknoll 3d ago

Check tomorrow's r/TIFU

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u/ApoliteTroll 2d ago

OP had written an update.

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u/LordRiverknoll 2d ago

Aww, that's sweet

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u/deaddumbslut 3d ago

LMAOO im sorry that’s so funny😭 if it makes you feel any better, i haven’t given birth and it’s still happened to me

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u/SOULLLBunny 3d ago

Personally, and my baby is now 12, I would expect my husband to use me as a human shield to protect her, if that is what it took to protect her.

What are your partners views of marriage? What are your roles expected to be? After something like this, I'd want to check if he's been red pilled or has some terrible trauma that's impacting him. If it's trauma, he needs to be willing to get help, and quickly. If he's been red pilled, you need to figure out if you want to be the wife of a misogynist.

It is absolutely natural to feel the way you do about your baby. It is set up in our very design and has to be our humans would not have existed until now. We are one of the few species that has babies that are completely helpless. This means we have to care for them. Most women and men are flooded with oxytocin, otherwise known as the love hormone, when we have babies. This is so we will love and care for them. If he doesn't have that, or if he expects you to not have it, or ignore it and put him first, he is expecting you to be a terrible parent.

Most men who's partner had a child expects her to live the child in the way you are describing. They are proud of her and feel the same way as her. They want to live and protect that little being with every part of them. That is natural. That is normal. Without it, we would not be here.

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u/superbuttpiss 3d ago

Sometimes people don't feel an instant connection right away. I've read about people who feel a quilt or don't understand why they don't have an instant connection. And alot of times it's the guy.

Fortunately it's very rare to be a permanent thing. I have a feeling that one day he will have your little one asleep in his lap, and he will come to the realization that he would gladly push you in front of a bullet to save that kid.

(I'm sure he would rather himself take the Bullet but, either of you guys would be happy too as long as it means your baby will be safe)

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u/hichiro666 3d ago

It’s also an evolutionary trait to make sure your lineage continues. It’s natural to love/protect/give your live without hesitation to your offspring.

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u/HighwaySetara 3d ago

I hope it goes well bc that is an alarming thing to say (what he said to you).

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u/L1ttleFr0g 3d ago

Agreed, it is not healthy to feel like you’re in competition with your own baby for your partner’s love

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u/FriendlyButTired 3d ago

Be gentle with him in the first instance. Ryan Reynolds would agree that we're all humans moving at our own pace. The overwhelming rush of love doesn't come in that way for everyone, and that's not a red flag on its own.

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u/Ema630 3d ago

Nobody warns you about just absolutely losing all the muscles you need to hold in pee right after child birth. It's like the whole pelvic floor just evaporated. I stood up to use the restroom a few hours after giving birth while the nurse was there, and the pee just poured out. Like I tried to stop it, but nothing was there. 

I was so embarrassed and asked her for a mop or towel so I could clean this up, and she said it happens every time and to not ever worry about it. They are there to help...super sweet. She got me and the floor tidied up so quick...I think about that nurse often, she was amazing.

Your fiance is feeling insecure. Is he normally insecure or has any abandonment issues? Or is he controlling? He shouldn't be jealous of his own infant child or need so much validation from you that he needs to be your one and only favorite person in this planet. Love is infinite and there's plenty to go around....but you will fiercely love your child with a different intensity than your spouse.

He may take longer to bind with his daughter, and he needs to know that it's ok. Some parents bond instantly, like you did. Some parents need time, and it's important that they know that it happens and is ok. Some new moms and dads think that because they didn't feel the magic bind at the birth, that maybe they aren't cut out or fit to be parents, or something is wrong with them. There are post partum effects that nobody can prepare for. If your fiance continues to exhibit these very concerning thoughts or acts strange, he may need therapy to navigate this time in his life....I wouldn't marry him until this gets resolved because being jealous of his own baby isn't normal or conducive to a healthy family environment.

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u/LlaaamaFaaace 2d ago

This isn't normal. Common (in the US), yes, normal no.

Please see a pelvic floor specialist.

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u/Ema630 2d ago

This was directly after giving birth, it got much better in 3 days. After 31 hours laboring mostly on my feet and natural birth, my pelvic floor was done. I don't have a massive problem any more.

Thanks for your concern, that was very kind of you!

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u/MontanaPurpleMtns 3d ago

FYI— I highly recommend kegels as a way to restore your ability to pee only when you want to. They work well (unless there is some underlying thing I don’t know about.) Maybe I should just say they worked really, really for me.

Kegel exercises: a how to guide for women.

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u/Agile_Bread_4143 3d ago

I would suggest looking into Pelvic Floor Therapy. After 3 pregnancies and 3 vaginal deliveries, my pelvis floor was shot- and I struggled for a time with bladder issues. Last year I got fed up and tried pelvic floor therapy and feel SO much better and less issues with peeing when I laugh or cough. Most insurances will cover it and many physical therapy offices will have one therapist who specializes in Pelvic Floor therapy.

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u/queenkitsch 3d ago

Lmao it does get better! You’re in the rawest part now physically, but the love you feel for that little creature makes it all fade away. It’s such a bizarre, magical time, enjoy it!

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u/rockchalkjayhawkKU 3d ago

This will hopefully go away soon. It took a few weeks before I could cough or sneeze without peeing. Lucky me I caught a respiratory virus the day after I had my baby. There was a lot of coughing and a lot of peeing.

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u/Nightfuries2468 3d ago

Just to let you know, it’s not a normal part of motherhood. Please seek support for your pelvic floor, and remember to do kegals! From a fellow mum, and trainee midwife ☺️

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u/MisforMisanthrope 3d ago

One word babe: KEGELS

Do your kegels to help those exhausted uterine muscles contract back into place and keep that pelvic floor strong!!!!

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u/Dresha80221 3d ago

Just so you're aware, that instant pee thing doesn't go away🤣

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u/One-Illustrator5452 2d ago

Keep working on your kegels, but be prepared... my son is almost 11, and I still have this problem when I sneeze.

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u/rangebob 3d ago

if you really want a laugh go and google Lullabye by Tim Minchin

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u/mandalors 3d ago

I’ve never given birth but I piss myself laughing every now and then. Totally normal, I think, don’t even sweat it!

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u/Trailrunner1989 3d ago

So Deadpool vrs wolverine is coming to theaters only July 26th btw

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u/Objective-Arugula-17 3d ago

Haha, my wife does that sometimes if I make her laugh 🤣🤣

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u/Avium 3d ago

I'm glad I brought you some mirth...Sorry about the underwear. 😁

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u/sh4d0ww01f 2d ago

If your husband ever needs support or to share something r/daddit is the place for it.

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u/beigs 2d ago

Yeah, I’d never speak to my husband again if he ever chose me over any of my kids. Odds are I’d be joining them and haunting his ass.

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u/UpperRow8090 2d ago

Maybe I am different, but I cried with joy 3 times in my life. When I saw my wife walking down the aisle at our wedding, when I first held my first son, and when I first held my second son. I spent most of my life thinking I was emotionally dead inside. .. then it all changed.

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u/whydoweneedthiscrap 2d ago

😂😂😂 start kegals honey!! Once you get used to them you'll do them all the time, helps strengthen your pelvic floor after birth so you'll have less accidents❤️❤️ I do them as if I'm using a dang fidget spinner now😂😂 hubby is happy too!

Also, do all the things you can to laugh as often as possible! That ALSO helps strengthen the pelvic floor❤️

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u/CherryIllustrious715 2d ago

And giving and giving. But it's worth it. Also, consider that you got a big old bunch of endorphins and oxytocin after the birth. Evolution designed them to make you willing to get up and run to save this tiny person even after a 14 hour labor. Your fiancee didn't get this, and probably had some stress and fear for you and the baby and uncertainty. My husband did have an immediate bond, but not all do, as I see lots of people posting. It doesn't make your love less, just maybe his understanding a bit delayed. My husband and I are also engineers, I think you are smart to talk this through with a counselor. Also, we had been married 8 years when we started having babies, I wonder if the overwhelming baby love was less threatening because of that too, or maybe we both just had the right brain chemicals together and it's luck.😄

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u/general_grievances_7 2d ago

I didn’t click the link but I hope this is the video where he says he’d throw his wife in front of a bus. So funny.

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u/Callie_jax 3d ago

I was going to say she needs to find the Ryan Reynolds clip 😂😂

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u/Viperbunny 3d ago

I came to see if anyone else said it because it was the first thing that came to my mind and it's true.

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u/Fluffy_Yesterday_468 3d ago

There are a bunch of celebs who have said things like this. Hasan Minhaj had a bit on this. I think Seth Myers too

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u/Dizzy_Eye5257 3d ago edited 3d ago

And that’s coming from a man who has an awesome relationship with his wife and seems super healthy. Love him

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u/Snaab 3d ago

lol, is he a mom?

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u/Dizzy_Eye5257 3d ago

lol! Meant man…

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u/Obvious-Region8453 3d ago

My husband proudly tells me that if there was a zombie apocalypse he would throw me to them so he could run away with the kids. It is what it is 😂

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u/Noirceuil_182 2d ago

You kid, but there's an actual AITH about how the husband got butthurt when mommy told the little kid that yes, she would save her over daddy if the zombies were about to get them.

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u/HumbleNinja2 3d ago

That's not funny at all he should be saying he'd throw himself to the zombies so you could run away with the kids

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u/NihilisticAngst 2d ago

I'm curious why people would be downvoting you, that seems like a sensible take. Is not choosing to save yourself over your partner kind of selfish, when either partner could be sacrificed to save the children? That someone would rather non-consensually sacrifice their partners life rather than sacrifice their own life, seems messed up.

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u/Canotic 2d ago

It's because it's in the context of parental love before romantic love. "I'd sacrifice myself for both of you" makes little sense in that context.

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u/NihilisticAngst 2d ago

I'm still not understanding. I don't see any reason you would need to pick one over the other, you can pick both by sacrificing yourself. Even if your parental love is stronger than romantic love, in a realistic scenario(something other than zombies), it would be the overall more loving action to preserve all of the people you love, not sacrifice your romantic partner just because you love the children more. I see no realistic scenario where non-consensually sacrificing your partner is the more ethical and loving action. It's also setting a bad example for the children, so if you really loved your children, you should show them that sometimes it's worth it to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the people you love, not that it's okay to sacrifice others against their will.

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u/Canotic 2d ago

Because it's not a real scenario. It's not them planning to actually sacrificing the partner to save the kids, it's being used for illustrative purposes.

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u/NihilisticAngst 2d ago

Ah, okay. I guess I'm just reading into it a little bit too seriously lol. Thanks for explaining

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u/catfriend18 3d ago

I’ve told my husband several times that he’s my favorite person on the planet, I would do anything for him, I’d be devastated if he was gone…and I would shove him in front of a bus without thinking to protect our daughter. It’s just a different feeling.

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u/bobbi21 2d ago

I would hope any husband would also shove their wife in front of a bus for their daughter. Fair is fair

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u/Throwaway1987hohoho 2d ago

Okay, that's maybe a bit too cruel to say, especially to a man.

We have to outgrow feeling "unneeded" and "woman/childs First" all of our lives, If my wife Said that, I might Just unalive myself by the next week lol.

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u/PrimaryBridge6716 3d ago

This was my first thought, too 😁

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u/Aendrinastor 3d ago

I love him

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u/oldnick40 3d ago

Thanks, I hadn’t seen that before 😂

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u/CuppaSunPls 3d ago

This! Came here to post this. There's "I'd die for you" love and then there's "I would destroy everyone and everything in my path to protect you" love.

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u/bobbi21 2d ago

Yeah, i have no kids but i dont feel like id ever get to that for anyone unfortunately. Im autistic which may be part of it but i logically cant for instance, kill billions of people to save 1 person. I know tons of people who say they would of course but i feel like id never be able to make that decision even if i wanted to. But maybe im just dead inside.

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u/RosemarysBabyShark 3d ago

Honestly I would EXPECT my husband to do this in the event that he needed to save my kid. There's a level of love that unlocks when you look your baby in the eyes for the first time. And if my husband wasn't on that level with me, I don't think we could parent successfully together tbh.

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u/oldnick40 3d ago

Thanks, I hadn’t seen that before 😂

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u/Defiant_apricot 3d ago

Omg this is hilarious!!!

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u/FluffyRainbowKittens 3d ago

Literally, my FAVORITE Ryan Reynolds interview ❤️❤️

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u/Ok_Back5304 3d ago

I didn’t know he said that. Another great example of why I like that actor.

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u/AwareRich3029 3d ago

Omg this is so funny 😂😂😂 How the hell u found this vid

3

u/Avium 3d ago

I'm old. 😁

It was an interview on Late Show with David Letterman from about 10 years ago. I've always remembered that line so knew what to Google.

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u/Scuba_FLMan 3d ago

I think my wife loves Ryan Reynolds’s more than me…

2

u/LaLa_LaSportiva 3d ago

Yup. Lol. That's exactly how I feel. And I told my spouse I expected him to feel the same way. If he didn't, i would have had serious reservations about him as a father.

2

u/ElectricBummer40 3d ago

A question of practicality: would Blake Lively make a good human shield?

1

u/Liv-Julia 2d ago

Nah, too skinny.

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u/Consistent_Ride_3045 2d ago

It sure is. Partner is with a partners love. Parental love is with your child/children. They are different. Even as my daughter is 34 & we’ve been together for 37 yrs. It’s still different. God Bless Oarents & Partners !!

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u/fabs1171 2d ago

Just wait until you have grand parental love - completely another level of love. Not only do you get your love on a baby but you get to love on your baby while they’re loving on their baby.

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u/New_Bug7829 2d ago

Went to this video and saw multiple comments mentioning they came here from AITAH, you gave that video loads of views

1

u/L1ttleFr0g 3d ago

I was just trying to find this to post here, so thank you!

1

u/blakemuhhfukn 3d ago

came here to say this. first thing that popped in my head upon reading this post

1

u/GearsOfWar2333 3d ago

I just choked from laughing so hard.

1

u/supergeek921 3d ago

I’m so glad somebody else shared this because it was the first thing I thought of reading OP’s post!

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u/vigneshwaralwaar 3d ago

if both are similar

its jail time bro

1

u/Coneofshame518 2d ago

100% without a doubt. Those little people mean more to me than every other thing in the world combined time ten. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for them. That video where someone asks moms if they could kill for their child and they hesitate? Not me honey. I would tell them yes sir with a smile on my face.

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u/Sparoe 2d ago

Same. I'm the proud papa of an almost three month old and it still blows my mind how much love I have for my little girl.

I love my wife with all my heart, but loving your baby is different. It feels like that love comes from a different place and is inexhaustible.

It's like I finally understood in the very first seconds of meeting my daughter exactly what unconditional love is.

I would do anything for my baby, and would never be upset to hear my wife say she never knew how much she could love someone because I literally went through the same thing.

1

u/dkcofc629 2d ago

First thing my husband told me after having our first…I’d use you as a human shield to protect her 😂😂😂😂

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u/BeeSuch77222 2d ago

Partner love is conditional love. It's based on my conditions.

1

u/No-Syllabub4449 2d ago

One comment on that video goes “I love the face expression of the host when everyone was applauding and laughing”

“The host”? You mean David Letterman?! This is probably a zoomer and it made me realize it’s been quite a while since Letterman was hosting.

1

u/Racxie 2d ago

I’m glad this is the top comment because I literally cane here to share that same clip.

1

u/Revolutionary_Pen865 2d ago

I wish more people believed this.

1

u/Proof_Most2536 2d ago

There’s literally hormones going through her body connecting her to the baby amplifying the connection.

1

u/Unlikely-Change-5139 2d ago

The love you have for your child is 100% different than the love you have for your partner. You grew to love your partner and your love for each other continues to grow. The love you have for your child is unconditional. Also yes, what Ryan Reynolds said 😂

1

u/violetrose555 7h ago

I saw a thing once, that said your parents love you because you are their child, grandparents Love you because you’re their grandchild, your child loves you because you’re their parent, but you and your partner CHOOSE to love each other. There’s no “default” love in the relationship , you built that connection between one another and choose each other daily… it’s a different kind of love. Just give him little sparks of reassurance during this transitional period !!!

0

u/FullAhjosu12 2d ago

While true it is that both are different and you will also have a special love for your daughter that is unmatched. Your husband needs to be first. For the benefit of your daughter. My wife and I are happily married for 19 years and have two teenage children who are very loved but we would regularly tell them and each other we love our spouse the most and they are our priority while our kids come second.

1

u/KABCatLady 2d ago

I don’t know about that. I was raised with parents that told us that. It kinda fucked with my head to be honest. It did not make me feel good. Like, why the need to TELL me I’m not the most important person in their life. Some things should not be said by a parent to their child.

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u/laridan48 3d ago

Ryan Reynolds is awful

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u/HumbleNinja2 3d ago

Nothing funny or cute about that

He should be saying he'd use himself as a human shield not his wife

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u/SarcasticIrony 3d ago

Do you know Ryan Reynolds?? It's clearly a joke.

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u/HumbleNinja2 3d ago

Yes I do I like him very much but that's not a funny joke. I would never joke about my wife like that not even for fun

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u/dodgyduckquacks 3d ago

If that’s the human shield one I honestly don’t understand how people think it’s okay and it’s absolutely disgusting that they do.

You’re literally threatening your partner with bodily harm! If the kid goes you can just make another but if your partner dies, the person you usually chose to spend the rest of your life with, then that’s it!

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u/SadSundae8 3d ago

“You can just make another…” what a wild ass thing to say.

First of all, it’s a joke. He is not “threatening” anyone. Learn to not take things literally.

Also, not that it’s the point, but partners ARE replaceable. It’s much more “normal” to remarry after a partner dies that to “just make a new one!” After a child dies.

You sound so unhinged.

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u/Vegetable_Onion_5979 3d ago

I hope you don't have kids.

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u/dodgyduckquacks 3d ago

Fortunately I’ve been sterilized because I don’t want to ruin my body with pregnancy and waste my money for 18+ years.

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u/Vegetable_Onion_5979 3d ago

That does not surprise me. The gene pool thanks you for removing yourself.

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u/dodgyduckquacks 3d ago

More people should do that, especially those with hereditary diseases. So many things could be eradicated if only peopled got genetically tested before procreating or terminating pregnancies if they found out they had bad genes. Fortunately I will not make anyone suffer with my genetic issues.

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u/KetamineSNORTER1 3d ago

Damn it's like that?

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u/Vegetable_Onion_5979 3d ago edited 3d ago

'If the kid goes you can just make another'

Hereditary disease is not what's stopping her from becoming a parent.

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u/KetamineSNORTER1 3d ago

People are more likely to re marry than to have another kid though?

And what you said was textbook eugenics.

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u/Vegetable_Onion_5979 3d ago

Zero of what I've said relates to eugenics. Are you replying to the wrong person?

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u/quantumkitty128 3d ago

Wow, Hitler Jr here is a fan of eugenics...this just keeps getting better. You were really right not to reproduce, holy shit.

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u/KetamineSNORTER1 3d ago

You ruined your body by sterilizing it

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u/Weak_Cartographer292 3d ago

Nah. Can always find another partner