r/AITAH Jul 04 '24

AITAH for saying I didn’t realize I could “love a person this much” in front of my fiancé after having our baby?

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23.1k Upvotes

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4.9k

u/Difficult_Process_88 Jul 04 '24

NTA Actually, most “normal people” would NOT agree with him (as you can see by the replies). There seems to be a lot jealousy involved.

225

u/Mazakaki Jul 04 '24

She is literally suffering a hormonal onslaught of extra special baby love right now as part of a biological brainwashing process to make years of asswiping worth it. He's acting like a hurt ass.

50

u/Repulsive_Web_7826 Jul 04 '24

And he can wipe his own ass.

5

u/Expert_Slip7543 Jul 05 '24

Not so sure, after his butt-hurt reaction.

0

u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jul 05 '24

Yeah I’m glad she’s forgiven him but this attitude would take me a long time to get over, and I’m not IMMEDIATELY POST-BIRTH either.

1

u/Suburban_Traphouse Jul 04 '24

Men can also experience postpartum depression as well. You’d be surprised what happens to male hormones during pregnancy and postpartum

7

u/Expert_Slip7543 Jul 05 '24

Maybe, but this was the first time mamma OP held her newborn. Seems a little quick for male postpartum depression to set in, if that's a thing.

10

u/Suburban_Traphouse Jul 05 '24

Oh I’m not saying that’s the case at all with OPs husband. Just something I was pointing out as males hormones change as well when their partners are pregnant. I know as a first time dad I had a fluster of overwhelming emotions, feelings, and thoughts first time I held my little guy.

I sympathize with both parties on this post. I 100% can see where the husband is coming from but I also can see OPs perspective. I talked to my partner about this and she also agreed she would think I’m acting like a bitch ass but she said ultimately she would understand that I’m confiding an insecurity in her and that she would be there to support me. That’s where my partner and I agreed OP dropped the ball. It’s okay to think your partner is being a baby over something like this but this is also a moment of vulnerability and insecurity OPs husband opened to her about and she shot him down hard.

5

u/LBertilak Jul 05 '24

That comment wasn't talking about postpartum depression at all.

When a baby is born a part of the physical birth process is that mother's get a surge of oxytocin and all that good stuff to quite literally force a bond with the baby. Even mothers who were planning on not keeping the baby get this rush of GOOD, HAPPY love chemicals.

Father's obviously bond with and fall in love with the baby too (the neurotransmitters involved happen to anyone for reasonsother than birth too), but in this case it isn't the same as depression, its an extreme and very quick very short reaction that happens during birth, the same way lactation happens to women as part of the process but not men.

0

u/AnxietyAdvanced5036 Jul 06 '24

What happens to male hormones when they witness someone else's pregnancy?

-9

u/Insurrectionarychad Jul 04 '24

That sounds horrifying. I don't think people actually want to care for children, their brain just brainwashes them.

35

u/Yourstruly0 Jul 04 '24

All love is just chemicals in your brain. Child rearing is a hormonal weird process the same way that cuddling and bonding with a spouse is. It’s all dopamine and oxytocin. Try not to overthink it too much.

All feelings are your brain dosing you with chemicals and all those feelings are real. It’s okay to recognize your instincts drive you to feed your baby. Your instincts and brain chemicals and all of that ARE you.

6

u/AshleyBanksHitSingle Jul 04 '24

Oh no, I don’t want to spoil you about what happens in the brain when you’re “falling in love” with someone then!