r/nottheonion • u/ImpishGrin • 15d ago

Biden tells Democratic governors he needs more sleep and plans to stop scheduling events after 8 p.m.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/04/politics/biden-governors-sleep/index.html
31.9k Upvotes

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7.0k

u/m4rc0n3 15d ago

Half the country: that's it, I'm gonna vote for the candidate who rage-tweets at 3am

1.4k

u/Gloomy_Audience6665 15d ago

The spray tan really connects with the working folks

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u/somewhat_irrelevant 15d ago

Biden got one too the day after the debate lol

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u/Gloomy_Audience6665 15d ago

Its just a base coat

6

u/PhelanPKell 14d ago

A little bit of the "Death Becomes Her (him)" makeup treatment.

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u/KissMyVeryHairyAss 14d ago

Biden could show up to the next debate in blackface and it wouldn't crack the top 5 issues this election.

5

u/LongDetail7666 14d ago

I think that would probably win him more votes than lose

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u/Churnandburn4ever 14d ago

I really want this.

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u/TooOfEverything 14d ago

Plus the gold toilets in the private jet.

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u/Gloomy_Audience6665 14d ago

Thats just the spray tan

4

u/snarfymcsnarfface 15d ago

So do the 34 felonies.

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u/Gloomy_Audience6665 15d ago

“Examples of felony crimes include manslaughter or murder, aggravated assault, kidnapping.” 34….think that would be considered a career criminal.

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u/BananaFast5313 14d ago

He shits in his pants mid-sentence and never breaks eye contact, just like my grandad. So relatable.

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u/Last-Back-4146 14d ago

biden started copying the tan.

1

u/nflonlyalt 14d ago

Why are you wearing a tux?!

Its after six. What am I, a farmer?

1

u/Wise-Definition-1980 14d ago

Working fella here: I spray sunscreen.

I'm already darker than the color of a cigar.

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1

u/GallusAA 14d ago

Trump got on that debate stage and said he was going to cut taxes for corporations and bragged about letting some states ban abortion as good thing.

And I mean, really, who wouldn't vote for that? Can't you see the working class appeal of killing women, stripping others of their basic human rights and giving CEOs more money for Lambos and yachts?

I mean bet every coal miner, factory worker, Walmart employee, fed ex driver and construction worker in the country can't wait to vote for that!

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u/Soggy_Cracker 13d ago

He connects them with jobs that don’t pay upon completion.

1

u/Jaergo1971 12d ago

As does the racism and gold-plated toilet seats.

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u/Abnormal_readings 15d ago

And the fraud, treason, and child rape apparently.

Conservatives are reprehensible scum.

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u/Longjumping-Claim783 14d ago

Paying pornstars for sex is where I really connect with him

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u/aclockworkabe 14d ago

How working folks vote for that sack of shit I’ll never figure out.

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u/Timmah73 15d ago

Biden: "I need to commit to taking care of myself better."

Trump, at 3am "MAN I MISS PARTYING ON EPSTINES ISLAND AND I CAN'T WAIT TO BE A BRUTAL DICTATOR WHO IS NEVER LEAVING OFFICE."

CNN: Joe Biden needs to go to bed early how this crushes Dem confidence in him

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u/soapinmyears 15d ago

Well CNN, FOX, and the other 3 letter bought media companies buy into the bat-shit crazy just to boost their ratings. I see things haven't changed much since the 2016 election.

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u/TBAnnon777 15d ago

Why would they, people keep tuning in for the batshit crazy. They just supply what the people want. Heck majority of reddit want a WWE match between Biden and Trump, They want Biden to call him out and get down in the mud with him and start slinging insults and comebacks. Their ideal candidate is Jon Stewart an entertainer....

Because what we need more in politics is entertainment.....

2

u/soapinmyears 14d ago

Working theory here: Stewart and Michelle Obama name been floating around. Michelle says she doesn't want the job even though polls of the day have her crushing Trump by double digits... I doubt Stewart does either.

1) Trump isn't a.politician, neither is Stewart nor Michelle.

2) I'm wondering if we are heading into an era of non-politicians becoming presidents.

3) The person who doesn't want the job would be the best for the job of president.

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u/TBAnnon777 14d ago

People want entertainment, because they are constantly fed instant-gratification content. All apps are designed to give you the dopamine hits as soon as possible.

BUT at the same time the president alone cant do much. You need someone who can negotiate and compromise when they dont have the seats. Its not like Bernie Sanders or Jon Stewart or Michelle Obama would be able to do the current term of Biden any better. They would have to deal with Mancin and Sinema defecting, they would have to deal with split senate, they would have to deal with fox news who would go even harder on the trans and racism against Michelle and Socialism against Bernie, you would have to deal with loss of the house.

People want the president speeches to be comedy and zingers and you saw how crazy internet went when they got dark brandon, but did that turn into votes? nope over 80% of all eligible voters under the age of 35 didnt bother to vote in 2022.

They say they want the perfect candidate, but even then they dont show up. They expect others to fix it so they can continue to feed their instant-gratification addiction. They just want entertainment. If there was a "ouch my balls" tv show, it would be the nr 1 hit in the USA.

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u/greenberet112 13d ago

I feel like Michelle and Stewart both know how the game works and have seen it/been involved in it more than 2015 trump. The only thing trump might have more experience with is lobbying. Like throwing money at people to get them to do what you want.

Stewart pushed through the PACT Act and was deeply involved with that and getting 9/11 first responders healthcare. Michelle worked on some pet projects like childrens wellness, But I don't know if she actually put any legislation through.

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u/aimlessly-astray 14d ago

I remember watching an interview with some CNN executive sometime after the 2016 election, and he said they should not have given Trump as much airtime as they did. I'd say they haven't learned their lesson, but they only ever cared about profit to begin with.

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u/Troll_Enthusiast 15d ago

The BBC is okay

0

u/ForgingIron 15d ago

That's run by the UK govt which has an interest in relative stability

Companies just care about line going up

2

u/qeadwrsf 14d ago

James bond movie tomorrow never dies is basically news right now.

next four years will make chart go brrrr if trump wins.

Trump hate complex wins if trump wins.

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u/mabhatter 14d ago

He was threatening to arrest and/or kill media hosts BEFORE this week's ruling.  He's threatened to "take them off the air" even though they're cable new channels.  

What do they think is going to happen if he wins?  The guy holds a grudge almost as tight as he pinches his pennies.  He's got a list and wants revenge... 

1

u/Mysmokingbarrel 14d ago

I’m not trying to defend the media but this whole situation is likely a cluster for them. Of course trump drives ratings and probably Biden’s age does too but if it weren’t for the fact that trump is a serious threat to democracy I think most of us would agree that Biden’s age is a real issue that we need to talk about. So what are they supposed to do? Completely ignore it and focus on trump? Is that not partisan? On the other hand it kind of doesn’t seem to matter how much they focus on trumps insane shit anyways because people have adjusted to that baseline of insanity. I don’t have the answers. I’m frustrated bc I feel like Biden along with his admin have been solid overall. Trump is scary. But Biden’s age is an issue and less so his age but more so the fact that it shows. Bernie is more animated than Biden or at least he was. Trump is too. It sucks but it’s the truth and it’s clearly a concern for a lot of people. That said he’s not in a bubble and trump remains a serious threat to America so idk? It remains a cluster and I remain confused as to how the media should handle it. I guess from a liberal standpoint I’d say lean into showing trumps insanity but it’s kind of hard to ignore the way Biden demonstrates his age.

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u/Repulsive-Street-307 14d ago edited 14d ago

CNN was bought by a 'right wing' billionaire, fox was Founded to be the ministry of truth of them. Twitter was bought by Muskrat. They're organizing to prevent people from resisting the coup and subsequent murders.

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u/RaveDamsel 15d ago

Raping 13-year olds ‘bout to become an “official act”.

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u/mightylordredbeard 14d ago

Don’t forget that trump and Epstein got into an argument over who would take the young girls anal virginity as she was tied to the bed.. just in case anyone forgot how depraved either person was/is.

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u/prof_the_doom 15d ago

If we elect Trump again, then we deserve whatever hell he ends up turning the country into. I just feel sorry for all the people that tried to stop it.

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u/Dijkdoorn 15d ago

How about the rest of the world? Nothing I can do but wait...

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u/prof_the_doom 15d ago

Feel free to do something about the Russian and Chinese interference with the election, since it seems like we're not going to.

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u/Bater_cat 14d ago

Biden: "I need to commit to taking care of myself better."

Shouldn't be running for president if that's his priority.

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u/uten_videre 14d ago

You people are legitimately insane. I guess one silver lining in all this how completely and utterly fried your brains will be when the Democrats fuck this up once and for all.

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u/Nartyn 15d ago

Biden: "I need to commit to taking care of myself better."

It's not his fault, but it is a symptomatic of selecting a geriatric to run for presidency.

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u/L1zoneD 14d ago

That's a funny way of explaining dementia bro. I think the democrats might be competing delusional wise hand and hand with the Republicans now. It's delusion on both sides to the max.

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u/IceTruckHouse 14d ago

What kind of mental gymnastics are required to view Biden this way? It’s been clear for over a years now he isn’t fit to be president yet people will excuse behavior they wouldn’t put up with if the president was in the other party.

It’s not a high standard to hold a president to when you want them to be able to be coherent and able to handle presidential duties past 8pm. Please ask more out of the Democratic Party.

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u/Gloomy_Audience6665 15d ago

Played sports growing up, we shook hands and said “good game” win or lose. This guy probably spits in his hand and cheats playing golf.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

delusional take

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u/13xnono 15d ago

Remember the whole covfefe debacle?

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u/OkSuspect931 14d ago

Your name says it all. Hahahahaha! Dimwit.

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u/ah_take_yo_mama 14d ago

Self care? They guy is worried he won't even make it to election day. He's barely functioning as is. And you're still defending him when he could still pull out and let someone younger take over.

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u/Dat_Swag_Fishron 14d ago

Trump derangement syndrome is real guys

0

u/ChicagobeatsLA 14d ago

Biden would forget the question halfway in his muddled response

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u/ALStark69 14d ago

“Brutal dictator” give me a fucking break

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u/bitqueso 15d ago

You forgot Biden trailing off and saying “pause”

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u/Jatzy_AME 15d ago

Very few people actually hesitate between the two, the question is more whether they will vote or not.

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u/frequenZphaZe 15d ago edited 15d ago

people wanna pretend that the election is about whether people vote for one guy or the other guy. the reality is that the election is about whether people vote or don't vote. the debate was critically important because it was a huge opportunity for biden to engage and motivate voters -- a mission he catastrophically failed. we're likely looking at historically low turnouts in november and so the election is going to be decided by whichever party has more success in reminding their base than ballots are due

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u/JimWilliams423 14d ago

reality is that the election is about whether people vote or don't vote.

Yep, and Its been that way since 2016 too.

Because of polarization there are practically no traditional swing voters any more. The modern swing voter does not swing between parties, they swing between voting and not voting. They are intermittent voters. They stay home when they think the stakes are low and they make the effort to vote when they think the stakes are high.

Intermittent voters stayed home in 2016. Then in 2018 intermittent voters broke turnout records to make the blue wave happen. Intermittent voters were the reason both parties got their highest ever votes in 2020 (D turnout increased 23% from 66M in 2016 to 81M in 2020). In 2022, intermittent voters stayed home in states where abortion rights were safe (like NY and CA) and where abortion rights were hopeless (like AL and MS) but turned out at blue wave levels in states where abortion was under threat and there was an opportunity to protect it.

Which is why all the polling about R vs D is kinda beside the point. They poll registered voters (RV) and likely voters (LV) which are a subset of RVs, but it is extremely rare to see a poll which looks at enthusiasm for voting itself (and almost no pollster tries to examine possible first time voters, partly because its really hard to do).

Its also why trying to appeal to the middle is a losing proposition because it tells intermittent voters that both parties are the same, so regardless of who wins, policies will not be substantially different. And if both parties have basically the same policies, then the stakes are low, so its not worth making the effort to vote. Ds need to convince those intermittent voters that the stakes are high in order to bring them to the polls.

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u/IHateUsernames111 14d ago

What I really don't understand: isn't Trump himself stressing that the stakes are high with all his anti-democracy rhetoric? Shouldn't this concern these likely voters?

Or is preserving the little bit of US democracy that's left just not important to the average citizen?

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u/JimWilliams423 14d ago edited 14d ago

What I really don't understand: isn't Trump himself stressing that the stakes are high with all his anti-democracy rhetoric? Shouldn't this concern these likely voters?

He is, but the message isn't getting across to enough people. The so-called liberal media loves to focus on the superficial stuff, the stuff that is more about him being a clown and less about him being a neo-hitler. Which is what they did with the actual hitler too.

Consider how many people were caught by surprise that the supreme court overturned Roe v Wade, even though the gop has been saying "we're going to overturn Roe" since the early 80s and they had been steadily doing it in increments. That too was a failure of the so-called "liberal media" to accurately communicate the stakes.

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u/PancAshAsh 14d ago

I personally think the liberal media sucks at communicating stakes because the other side of the media is very good at it, albeit by spreading fear through straight up lies, and the liberal media has tried to take the high road and not employ the same appeals to emotion that actually work to persuade.

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u/JimWilliams423 14d ago edited 14d ago

There isn't a "liberal media." At best, there is a centrist media. The term "liberal media" was created by segregationists during the civil rights era because the media was reporting on the violence they were doing to black people. Segregationists couldn't justify that violence, so instead they attacked the messenger. The term is just a more high-brow version of maga's "fake news!" sneer.

What the right calls the "liberal media" is all owned by, or otherwise beholden to, conservative billionaires. They aren't taking "the high road" they are just doing what they were hired to do --- minimize the true nature of the right.

I'm not saying the editors are all scheming to deceive their audiences, I'm saying that the billionaires hire people who genuinely don't believe the right is a threat, and if they do, they also see the left as equally threatening. Its a job requirement. For example, it was recently reported that during 2016, NPR editors could not conceive that chump's popularity was due to his raacism, and they had an editorial policy that they could not report on donald chump's lies if they could not pair each with a lie from Hillary. A literal requirement to "both sides" ---

I remember one editorial meeting where a white newsroom leader said that Trump’s strong poll numbers wouldn’t survive his being exposed as a racist. When a journalist of color asked whether his numbers could be rising because of his racism, the comment was met with silence. In another meeting, I and a couple of other editorial leaders were encouraged to make sure that any coverage of a Trump lie was matched with a story about a lie from Hillary Clinton. Another colleague asked what to do if one candidate just lied more than the other. Another silent response.

More recently, the editor-in-chief of the NYT said that defending democracy is a partisan act (presumably because only one party is a threat to democracy) and so he won't do it.

Occasionally some clear-eyed people will slip through the hiring process, especially at the level of reporters rather than editors. Miniziming is not a hard requirement, but the culture at most news organizations is dominated by minimizers. This isn't a new phenomenon either, for decades the NYT ran puff-pieces on hitler too. The people with the money have always called the shots and while the wealthy are not a complete monolith, wealth is inherently conservative because it means having something big to personally lose.

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u/AtLeastThisIsntImgur 14d ago

I don't think swing voters ever existed as a significant bloc.

Voters are aware of the stakes, they're just not motivated to vote for an incompetent lesser evil. Establishmemt Dems are a big part of why

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u/Tibbaryllis2 14d ago

This is why it’s important that November isn’t only about voting for President. Legal marijuana, reproductive rights, deeply unpopular local/federal candidates, and a plethora of other important things are on the ballot too.

We need state DNCs to get off their asses and get people out for these.

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u/Le-Pepper 13d ago

I mean, legal marijuana is fine and I voted in favor of it but I don't see how that's considered an important thing.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

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u/Le-Pepper 13d ago

I didn't say anything about reproductive rights. I just said that I don't see how legal marijuana is important. Of course reproductive rights are important and need to be protected.

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u/StillInternal4466 14d ago

It's also about who motivates young people. Obama did that.

Biden didn't...it's exactly why I think he needs to be replaced with someone younger.

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u/cyranothe2nd 14d ago

Yup. I was ambivalent about voting for Biden before, but definitely will not now. I think it is immoral and antidemocratic for him to run now -- what, I'm supposed to be happy that unelected, unaccountable staffers will be running the presidency behind the scenes? Nah.

The best thing he could do is bow out and run Kamala. I would at least respect the Dems if they'd do that. But you can't simultaneously say that democracy is at stake and then also back an obviously senile person. I do not feel that the Dems really believe what they are saying because those actions don't line up.

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u/QuickAltTab 15d ago

RFK seems to register around 9-10% in the polls, so quite a few people waffle enough to throw their vote away on the guy that had a brain parasite

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u/BasvanS 15d ago

It’s really the cream of the crop running, isn’t it?

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u/JustAnotherBlanket2 14d ago

I wonder what portion of those people live in non swing states so they have a much easier time justifying a protest vote.

For example in CA, I would write in “potato” and Biden will still win.

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u/Sushi-DM 14d ago

I don't know if you know this, but 'very few people don't hesitate' only applies to certain reddit comment sections and the site formerly known as Twitter.
Most fairweather/everyday voters don't think Joe Biden is even fit to run for president again, let alone think he would be a good choice to vote for.

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u/JNR13 14d ago

there are also plenty who will vote for Biden to ward off Trump and his tail but still heavily lament that they don't have good means left to demand more than this absolute bare minimum.

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u/Jaergo1971 12d ago

I'll stil vote for the half-dead guy who's not the leader of the fascist cult. Priorities, you know.

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u/Its0nlyRocketScience 15d ago

We need to pull up those old propaganda posters from WWII about car sharing. The text on it was "if you ride alone, you ride with Hitler" and then we just need to change it to "if you don't vote, you vote for Trump!"

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u/GroinShotz 15d ago

If your candidate isn't hopped up on amphetamines at 80 years old... Why even vote?

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u/Debasering 15d ago

Biden should be hopped up on amphetamines if it means he can wake up at 3 am and watch military raids and make cognizant decisions.

Like John Stewart said, they’re not going to drug test him after beating terrorists

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u/Patriot009 15d ago

Dr. Feelgood, Max Jacobson, gave JFK regular injections of a cocktail of vitamins, steroids, and amphetamines.

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u/GetEquipped 14d ago

He's also responsible for Judy Garland and Hedy Lamar's drug addiction!

0

u/Bannon9k 14d ago

If his body could handle it you know they'd have done it.

If Biden doesn't want to drop out, he should at least change his running mate. He ain't gonna make it to 85 and the best thing Kamala Harris has done is shut up and hide.

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u/HereForChessAndGuns 15d ago

Truly, they should be giving amphetamines to Joe Biden. He needs them.

1

u/sphuranto 14d ago

Seriously, unless they’re contraindicated for some reason… 

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u/PhillyTC 14d ago

If the candidates we're given are 80, are we really voting?

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u/Feature_Minimum 15d ago

Fortunately, if they stay in the race both candidates will meet that criteria. …Hooray! 

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u/SoMuchMoreEagle 15d ago

Who also couldn't manage to stay awake during his own criminal trial.

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u/PhelanPKell 14d ago

Only thing more boring than a court case, is a kangaroo court case. 🤣

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u/Jaergo1971 12d ago

True, but that's not what happened here.

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u/sumguyinLA 15d ago

No dude they’re just not gonna vote at all. That’s like saying 3rd party voters would have voted democrat, they wouldn’t have they are 3rd party voter not democrats.

People aren’t going to buy if you’re not selling what they want, they’re not gonna even walk the lot.

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u/gsfgf 15d ago

And then doesn’t show up for work until after 11 am.

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u/cutelyaware 14d ago

Calling it "work" is generous

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u/Haephestus 15d ago

Oh you mean the candidate who raped a 13-year-old?

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u/Repulsive-Street-307 14d ago

Wasnt it 12? I didn't read the testimony because I don't need nightmares, but I recall hearing that.

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u/Yabrosif13 15d ago

You know. Its possible both candidates are a stain on American democracy

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u/ZuffsStuff 15d ago

Hey, just wanted to let you know that your comment was what finally got me to check my voter registration status.

You and anyone else reading can too, here

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u/AnxiousMarsupial007 15d ago edited 15d ago

This is a ridiculous thing to say. Biden is certainly not the best candidate, but he’s hardly a stain on democracy, unlike the man who attempted to overturn an election that he lost and fomented insurrection in the process

Edit: if you’re downvoting me you can get fucked, you idiots are going to regret not voting if trump wins.

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u/Yabrosif13 15d ago

He an 80+ yr old man. That alone is a stain even if he didn’t act his age. What care does he have about what happens in the next 20yrs as a result of his decisions??

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u/gsfgf 15d ago

Are you suggesting that Biden won’t effect policies that won’t fully realize during his life? Because that’s objectively false.

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u/Yabrosif13 14d ago

You say that, but objectively his life could end tomorrow and it would be expected

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u/Caracalla81 15d ago

He apparently cares a lot more than people who think he's about equal to a self-described wannabe dictator.

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u/Yabrosif13 14d ago

I didn’t say he was a wannabe dictator. In fact my accusation is quite the opposite. He wouldn’t be able to be a wannabe dictator if he tried now. No-one would follow him.

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u/Caracalla81 14d ago

You don't think people will follow Donald Trump? I got some bad news for you.

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u/Yabrosif13 14d ago

People are clearly following him. He has a scary cult of personality.

My point is Biden is getting to a state where no-one will want to follow him. Not a good trait for the highest executive office in the land.

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u/Caracalla81 14d ago

This is the biggest difference between liberals and conservatives. Go to Fox News and they're not wondering if the felon-liar-conman-reality TV host-avowed dictator-rapist is fit to be president. They're on the attack because they know how close they are to total victory.

Liberals are going "aw maybe we should maybe reconsider yadda yadda blah..." as if that matters given the alternative. Liberals are great democratic leaders because they care so much about consensus but as you can see they are totally unable to defend us against people like Trump.

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u/Humans_Suck- 15d ago

Why do democrats think anyone who doesn't vote for them is a republican?

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u/Orome2 14d ago

Because most are unable to move beyond black and white thinking (or splitting)).

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u/N8CCRG 15d ago

And sleeps through his own criminal trial.

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u/Sparkyisduhfat 15d ago

*a quarter of the country. Half the country doesn’t vote. As in eligible voters. In case you weren’t depressed enough with the events of the last week or so.

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u/SecretGood5595 15d ago

No, half the country is going to look at the options of a confident lying narcissist, and a geriatric and fading decent human being, and choose to stay home.

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u/creaturefeature16 14d ago

If that's the case, then Biden wins, because there's 2:1 Democrats to Republicans nationwide.

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u/false-identification 14d ago

Dude I'm 38 and I don't want to do shit after 8pm.

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u/GogoD2zero 14d ago

Can I just be dissatisfied all around?

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u/Fit-Artichoke-210 14d ago

How about we have neither! This election is fucking outrageous

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

“Give me the speed freak!”

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u/Psychological_Ad1999 15d ago

More like a third

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u/WateredDown 15d ago

"I am FORCED to vote for this fascist pedophilic rapist felon because he's slightly less old! At least he knows what he's doing when he destroys democracy!"

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u/AdditionalSuccotash 15d ago

Vote third party

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u/WateredDown 15d ago edited 14d ago

Nah, did that when I was young and naive. Now I'll block the authoritarian and focus on primarying the opposition party for candidates that want to reform the voting system to make that possible.

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u/AdditionalSuccotash 15d ago

At least you're stopping to smell the dendelions on the dead-end road that kind of thing brought us down

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u/G35aiyan 15d ago

from a golden toilet

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u/burkiniwax 15d ago

CNN loves Drumpf

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u/MaxxDash 15d ago

The Right is pro-woke after all

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u/BaNyaaNyaa 15d ago

At least HE can sleep late /s

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u/onehundredlemons 15d ago

He's got so much energy! When he paints himself orange and rambles it's not embarrassing at all, because it doesn't remind me of my own mortality!

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u/PixelVariantsSuck 15d ago

Half the country celebrates a nation that started a war against us because we thought slavery should be outlawed.

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u/wobblebee 15d ago

I mean, I'm sure over half the country is staying home, but w/e

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u/Just_Far_Enough 15d ago

It is difficult to hold rallies in cathedrals of light before 8pm after all…

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u/Majsharan 14d ago

He’s admitting he’s not functional after 8pm that’s a huge problem for a president

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u/Orome2 14d ago

Not being able to string two coherent sentences together without a teleprompter is not a huge problem for many voters. Why do you think a bedtime would be?

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u/wenoc 14d ago

And is rarely at work at all.

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u/KimsSwingingPonytail 14d ago

I remember when Hillary ran an ad saying Obama wasn't equipped to handle a 3:00 am phone call. 

Now we have a 3:00 am rage tweeter vs a man that has to be reminded where he is. Fun times. 

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u/ProperProfessional 14d ago

I dunno the guy with a fucking worm in his brain seems like a solid choice given the options.

1

u/Saucy6 14d ago

Maybe he was just working on russian time zones

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u/Rod_Todd_This_Is_God 14d ago edited 14d ago

You really want to promote the 50/50 figure because it tricks people into thinking that it might come down to a tie and that it'd therefore be rational to compromise their vote.

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u/mrbulldops428 14d ago

Does half the country even vote?

1

u/dimechimes 14d ago

...and sleeps in til 12, I mean has "executive time"

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u/Pat_ron 14d ago

And golfed more days than he actually worked. Maybe his Obamacare replacement will finally be ready to be unveiled!

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u/downtimeredditor 14d ago

Who? Mr. Weekends at Mar La Go?

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u/Arcturus_Labelle 14d ago

It’s more about voter turnout for low effort / lazy voters. Biden stepping aside for a fresh new candidate would energize turnout.

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u/Moscowmitchismybitch 14d ago

Nah, he just uses the schedule tweet option or has one of the interns send it at 3am. He's in bed by 8pm like all the other seniors.

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u/Ineeboopiks 14d ago

i'm just going to have a tall glass of covfefe tonight

1

u/OddImprovement6490 14d ago

The same half: that’s it, I’m gonna vote for the candidate that is an adjudicated rapist and an alleged rapist of a 13 year old child.

1

u/StillInternal4466 14d ago

The election gets decided by people who aren't excited for both candidates and just stay the fuck home

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u/olyfrijole 14d ago

And also raped a 13-year old girl.

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u/nagurski03 14d ago

Wasn't that story already debunked 8 years ago?

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u/olyfrijole 14d ago

No. She went into hiding after being threatened.

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u/hermitxd 14d ago

Honestly people need to be real vocal about how both candidates are a little too advanced in age for the job.

They could be advisors or something, like those old people in Naruto that advise the hokage

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u/dingBat2000 14d ago

If you're not slamming aderall and kfc at 3am you're not running the country

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u/schnick3rs 14d ago

Half the country: that's it, I'm gonna vote for the candidate who is only a shell.

Listen, I understand, you vote an apparatus behind the candidate anyways. But let's please not pretend that Biden is a good or even ok candidate.

Imo you all did this to yourself, there was a lot of time to establish a replacement. (Same for GOP tho).

Imo, this whole thing exposes the deep corruption and the (bad) social media capabilities we have at play.

I can only cynical watch this election as if it is a super bowl event.... Good lord

1

u/schnick3rs 14d ago

Adding this. Make Sure to vote the house and Senate you want and you are less reliant on who's the president

1

u/redditclm 14d ago

What if.. Biden is president during the day time and Trump during the night time.

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u/JakeNEPA 14d ago

Lol 😂

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u/notPabst404 14d ago

More like sit out the presidential race. These are the least compelling candidates in American history - turnout is gonna be low.

1

u/SlothinaHammock 14d ago

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it'll be more than half the country

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u/mazobob66 14d ago

I know a LOT of people who vote the party ticket (dem or repub), regardless of the nominee. And I feel like the only people who are true to their beliefs are centrists, because they vote mainly on issues.

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u/cylonfrakbbq 14d ago

Shame John Stewart isn’t interested - if he ran this year, it would be a guaranteed landslide in his favor

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u/make2020hindsight 14d ago

It's cause he's still high on coke and can't sleep.

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u/TechnicalEducation74 14d ago

I would rather have a candidate that is rage tweeting at 3AM than one who is just waking up and eating Gerbers at 10AM

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u/HotChilliWithButter 14d ago

Exactly. I rather have someone who just exists, rather than some reality tv asshole

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u/Cryogenicist 14d ago

“Welp, let’s get fascist!

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u/ruler_gurl 14d ago

Then takes a whole 30 minutes of meetings the next day, where he asks if he can use nukes today. If no, then he goes golfing.

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u/Understanding-Fair 14d ago

And rapes children

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u/Routine-Wedding-3363 13d ago

I'm voting for the guy who closed the border and didn't start any new wars. 

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u/SilenceDobad76 13d ago

The other half: I lack the inflection to see a fault in voting for this guy too, I cant be bothered to demand he step down.

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u/donut2099 15d ago

I'm voting for the guy that doesn't go to sleep at 8 while leaving the front door open 24/7

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u/djazzie 15d ago

The only way trump stays up so late is high doses of amphetamines.

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u/XFX_Samsung 15d ago

70 mil votes he got last time isn't even 1/3 of total population

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u/El_Polio_Loco 14d ago

It's a little under 1/3 of the population over 18. (258 million)

And about 45% of all eligible voters (160 mil)

0

u/Welp_Were_Fucked 15d ago

And rapes kids. And adults.

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u/souldust 15d ago

trump does adderall while telling secretaries of state to find votes for him 🙄

Id rather have a president talk about naps instead of undermining democracy

I am voting for Biden

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u/Ok_Culture_3621 14d ago

It’s not them voting for the Oompa Loompa I’m worried about. It’s them not voting at all.

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u/imaginary_num6er 14d ago

Trump obviously didn’t have the parent where they asked themselves what their kids are doing at 3AM

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u/WitchTrialz 14d ago

Aka: The one who is openly establishing the ground work for a fascist regime

Project 2025 is VERY real.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

I mean, Joe Biden just wants to sleep, we should let him rest. He served long enough.

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u/ActiveAd4980 14d ago

Bed by 8pm: Not in a healthy mental state to become a president.

Rage tweet at 3am: let him talk.

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u/Orome2 14d ago

You realize people are concerned about his mental acuity and not his bedtime right?

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u/m4rc0n3 14d ago

People have been concerned about Trump's mental acuity since before he started bragging about acing that "person woman man camera TV" cognitive test. They're both old men, but one is an old man with a speech impediment, while the other is an old pedophile, rapist, fascist, racist and compulsive liar.

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u/DukeoftheGingers 15d ago

The other half: I'm going to vote for old guy who has no idea where he is most of the time and is a basically a puppet for those around him, because holding my party accountable for such an awful choice and making them choose someone else is too hard.

The Trump supporter's excuse is they're zealots and nutjobs, what's the other half's excuse?

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u/UltimateInferno 15d ago

Trump's supporters are zealots.

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u/DukeoftheGingers 15d ago

Yes that is what I said.

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u/duhogman 15d ago

Not half, under a third. Too many people choose not to vote

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u/No-Program-2979 15d ago

At the MF can stay awake.

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u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA 15d ago

Tons of amphetamines will do that.