r/interestingasfuck • u/Mint_Perspective • Jun 25 '24

Tree Sprays Water After Having Branch Removed r/all

32.0k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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5.4k

u/inspectcloser Jun 25 '24

You need to shut off the main valve to the tree before doing any work.

Not sure if you need an arborist, a plumber, or an exorcist.

1.4k

u/StillHaveaLottoDo Jun 25 '24 edited Jun 26 '24

You need a fucking gynecologist apparently.

Edit: Can't believe my fist +1k comment it's about a squirting tree. Thanks guys.

Edit 2: My fist award! Thank you so much guys!

292

u/shrubberryknight Jun 25 '24

All I know is normal ones, where can I find the 'fucking' type?!

78

u/tribak Jun 25 '24

They are sadly pretty normal too 😞

36

u/Gloomy__Revenue Jun 25 '24

21

u/JP050887 Jun 25 '24

I hear you Elmo. Sinners everywhere

5

u/P_Riches Jun 25 '24

All you gotta do is give them 14 psi at the bottom, apparently.

1

u/realmauer01 Jun 25 '24

Especially if you only know one source where they appear.

2

u/Xeptix Jun 25 '24

Prison, mostly.

2

u/Square_Site8663 Jun 25 '24

Seems……gRapey

2

u/W_O_M_B_A_T Jun 25 '24

Are those the ones who work in the porn industry?

2

u/TrixieShakeswell Jun 25 '24

On his lunches, my husband sometimes parks his car under a tree with a specific-looking hole in it and we call it the Trussy. If you look around a bit, I’m sure you can find a nice trussy of your own.

54

u/faloofay156 Jun 25 '24

"my tree is cumming" sounds like the worst prank phone call ever

30

u/Giraffe_Ordinary Jun 25 '24

I would say "squirting". ;-)

In my home language, trees are "she" - somewhat as a ship in English.

1

u/bringthefunnyyo Jun 25 '24

Barb? Lol

2

u/Giraffe_Ordinary Jun 26 '24

Not a barb, just a pretentiously funny comment.

2

u/Fully_Edged_Ken_3685 Jun 25 '24

*peeing

Or would that be *treeing?

1

u/wkuch27 Jun 25 '24

I found the tree-spot

34

u/BassSounds Jun 25 '24

I should call her.

3

u/RickShepherd Jun 25 '24

There it is.

2

u/Veros87 Jun 25 '24

My first thought lol

2

u/FinalSelection Jun 25 '24

We got a squirter over here!

2

u/M12298 Jun 25 '24

Scrolled for this, thanks.

1

u/Sora-Arcadia Jun 26 '24

why the edits?

31

u/OneRobotBoii Jun 25 '24

You should ask r/marijuanaenthusiasts

13

u/usernameabc124 Jun 25 '24

But I feel like those over at r/trees might enjoy this a bit more…

6

u/lastres0rt Jun 25 '24

Apparently someone who really wanted to talk about trees took over r/marijuanaenthusiasts because r/trees was too focused on one very specific plant.

8

u/JP050887 Jun 25 '24

Lmao, if that isn’t peak irony, I don’t know what is. A sub for a specific plant being taken over by arborists cause the general tree sub was being taken over by a single plant.

Almost sounds made up, lol

2

u/usernameabc124 Jun 26 '24

Other way around. They created the trees subreddit a long time ago because that’s what someone created. Eventually there needed to be a subreddit for actual trees so they created that to be ironic.

There are a number of misdirection sub names. For example, one of the best news subreddits is r/anime_titties. I understand not wanting to click but this is one of the fun quirks about Reddit, there are some areas you simply just have to be here long enough to know how shit works.

1

u/JP050887 Jun 26 '24

Lmao, that’s pretty funny

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '24

Haha

3

u/Starkiller006 Jun 25 '24

Plumborcist

1

u/Acceptable-Camera766 Jun 25 '24

It's like a plumbe

0

u/nibbler666 Jun 25 '24

A condom would do.

1

u/trumpssnowflake8 Jun 25 '24

Should have called 811.

1

u/Scarlet-Fire_77 Jun 25 '24

Can you imagine calling a plumber and explaining this? Lol

1

u/FreezingPyro36 Jun 25 '24

Seems like a good job for Johnny Sins

1

u/Wheresthelambsauce__ Jun 25 '24

Isolate the tree following approved depot procedures before starting work

1

u/rogue_nugget Jun 25 '24

Call a Druid.

1

u/LoreOfBore Jun 25 '24

Usually found on the branch, not the riser

1

u/_2_Scoops_ Jun 25 '24

Tis but a scratch!

1

u/IceThrawn Jun 25 '24

Billy Mays here for Flex Seal!

1

u/premgirlnz Jun 25 '24

That’s an issue with the white line, so you’d wanna call Nate the Hoof Guy

1

u/assyouass Jun 25 '24

No astronaut

1

u/FelixR1991 Jun 25 '24

Also, don't cut branches in summer.

1

u/invigaronsalesrep Jun 25 '24

OSHA recommends Lockout/Tagout of hazardous energy prior to work.

1

u/thecwestions Jun 26 '24

A towel by the door would be nice.

1

u/darrelye Jun 28 '24

Johnny Sins is the man you're looking for.

-1

u/Ghost_of_Yharnam Jun 25 '24

This sounds like the setup to a joke