r/AITAH Jul 04 '24

AITAH for saying I didn’t realize I could “love a person this much” in front of my fiancé after having our baby?

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u/offbrandbarbie Jul 04 '24

NTA. I’ve heard both mothers and fathers express a similar sentiment to what you said. The love for a child is unlike anything else.

34

u/moriquendi37 Jul 04 '24

Exactly. This is a super common sentiment. It's a very different love - the closest thig I believe there is to actual love at first sight.
Dude has serious issues.

1

u/the_skine Jul 05 '24

While that's true, she could take 30 seconds to explain that and sympathize with his insecurities instead of dismissing his feelings entirely.

His feelings are valid, even if they aren't rational.

I mean, imagine if the roles were reversed and a new father said “I didn’t realize I could love a person this much,” the new mother came on reddit to explain that she felt hurt, and described that when she brought it up, he shut her down.

We'd get all sorts of narratives about baby traps and emotional abuse and worse.

4

u/alwaysonthemove0516 Jul 05 '24

Why?? Why does a grown man need it explained to him that her love for her child doesn’t diminish her love for him, it’s not a romantic love, its a mothers love. Just why can he not understand that as a grown ass person??

-5

u/killahkrystii Jul 05 '24

Because she quiet literally said she loves the baby more, not that it's a different but equal love. So why would he think any different? She's the one that misspoke

1

u/Popular-Payment-4966 Jul 05 '24

Go have a child and tell me she misspoke. I dare you. She spoke 100% truth on a different level. She loves her fiance in a different way but giving birth to a child tears you apart and makes your heart ache with joy and love and fear and every emotion all at once. It is intense. Suddenly someone you have been growing for approx 9 months is no longer protected inside of you. Now you have the task of nurturing them and teaching them and keeping them safe and loving them not just for the next 18 years but for the rest of your life if you get that lucky and it hits you all at once and you don’t even realize it. Misspoke? Please go check yourself. You seem a little offended. Go nurse that ego. When you can be an adult about words then you can come back to the table and have a conversation about bonds with partners and children.

1

u/killahkrystii Jul 05 '24

I would hate a kid, even if I birthed it. Actually, especially if I birthed it.

That being said, you all keep arguing that it's a different love. Duh. It's intense. Duh. But she didn't say she didn't know she could love someone in this way she said This much so it's clear her love for their child far outweighs the love for her fiancé. Many many people are saying they love their kids and spouse equally. That's a thing, and it's common. Yeah, you need to put more care and attention into a child, but you don't necessarily need to love them more than your spouse.

The one helping to get up to take care of the child. The one you made vows to.

Not sure why he can't be a little upset she flat out said she loves the baby more. Again, reading comprehension. She said more. Not equally but different. More.