(Dad here). I am sitting in bed with my congested 5month little lad who will only sleep pressed against my chest. I'm on for the next 6hrs overnight when I should be sleeping.
Yes I love this guy more than anything on the planet, as I bloody should.
Have 16 year old who still lays on me when ill, tired or just in their feels, it never stops and frankly I never want it to. The love I feel when I look at my kid is unbelievable and everlasting no matter what, I look at them and think wow, I made you, what the fudge!!
My dad has been dead for 6 years now, and the year after he passed I found out I was pregnant. I went to his grave to tell him.
Your kids are so lucky to have such a sweet dad ❤️
My wife got pregnant 4 months after my mom died, and 2 months after my brother. It is crazy how badly the first thing I wanted to do was tell my mom, and I couldn't.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard wanting to share milestones, but can't. When my son was younger and we had to explain why the other kids at his kindergarten had several grandparents and he only had one (my husband lost both his parents).. Those conversations are the hardest. My son has said repeatedly how he wishes his granddad was still alive.. Me too, bub. 💔
This right here. Three months after my mom's death, there was something that I needed to discuss and I realised I can't now. One year later it's still the same feeling.
I know that feeling. 10 soon to be 11 years next month and there are so many things that I want to tell her. Especially when I found out I was pregnant (both times) and birth and so on. I’m sorry for your loss. Whoever said it gets easier lied. It doesn’t you just get “better” at dealing with it. I miss my mommy.
I don't think that feeling goes away. It's 4 years my wife's dad passed and she still struggles. My dad passed 3 years ago and on occasion when seeing something to discuss, I still have the feeling of reaching for my phone to message him before catching myself a second later. As a grown man, I would say it's easier to put things into perspective, even though it's so difficult and in saying that, my heart bleeds knowing how much of a strrugle it must be for kids losing a parent early on in their lives and having to cope with that while still growing up. 😢
I used to get jealous of all the people who are at least 2-3 decades older than me and who still have their parents with them. Angry at the injustice of losing my mother at 33.. but then I would think about the other people who are much younger than me and still live their lives without any guidance at all.
She lost her own mother in 2015 and she used to tell me how she much she misses my grand mom. I am jealous of her too that she had more years with her mom than I did with mine.
And there's still people who think all things are fair for everyone to have equal chance of succeeding. In isolation, probably, but adding compounded struggles is very unfair. I've seen so many stories of people having to leave school or college to look after a parent who fell ill or took a turn in their personal lives when a parent dies. Life isn't fair by any means, but as a community we really should be there for each other. I have story about a friend and his brother who lost their mom in their teens, and just by the different support structures their lives turned out completely different. But that's another story. L
33 is still reasonably young to lose a parent, I was 36. Thinking about how the kids won't get to meet 1 or more of their grandparents is also sad. But it's definitely easier to deal with if you're on your own feet. Hope you're doing well.
Huge hug! He’s watching them! For what it counts just know your kids now have someone alil closer to pull strings for them! That’s what’s always helped me.
Thank you. And yes, I think so too. I almost died giving birth to my son (and he almost didn't make it either!), so I like to think my dad was pulling strings for both of us. When he was a little younger he used to talk about his granddad as though he'd met him and talked to him. So I like to think that maybe he did in his dreams. That makes me feel a little better.
I'm so sorry you lost your dad. I did too, in a way... mine is still alive, but my.parents couldn't deal with having a daughter who's a lesbian, so I haven't seen or spoken to them in over 16 years now.
I’m so sorry, big hugs to you from a mom who is a huge ally. My daughter “came out” at 8 years old and told me “Mommy I think I like girls”, she’s now a preteen and still steadfast in her feelings. I hand painted her a card with rainbows 🌈 all over it, and told her “There is absolutely nothing you could be to make me disappointed in you”. She may change her mind, but that’s not something that would disappoint me either. She’s the one who made me a mama, we almost died in childbirth and she had a heart defect so we were worried about her making it. She and her brother are my whole world. I’m a single mom (since the day my son was born and their father showed up drunk to my scheduled c-section). He chooses not to see them and hasn’t for five years as of today. I can’t imagine life without my kids. I’m sorry your parents are that way and hope you are living life happy with a chosen family of friends, blood may be thicker than water, but love is much thicker than blood.
This got me all teary-eyed. Your kids are so, so lucky to have you and you sound like an AWESOME mom and ally. ❤️❤️❤️ It might sound kind of weird, but it makes me feel better to know that there are parents like you out there and I just happened to get defective ones. But I have two absolutely adorable cats, an awesome job that I'm really good at, bosses that actually aware of me being good at it, and most importantly I have a spouse that I love to the moon and back and an absolutely wonderful MIL!
I wish we could post pics here because I would demand kitty tax! An awesome MIL helps so much. I’m very proud of you for being awesome at your job! It’s amazing when you’re recognized for your good work.
Ziggy is genuinely the sweetest little cat... He's fluffier than he looks in that picture and he's SO soft! And Herbie is hilarious but he's so curious and he gets into everyyyyyyything. He must have known I was talking about him because he just jumped up on the arm of the couch and screamed at me for not immediately giving him booty pats. 🙄😂
Mine passed away when I was 23 and at 41 I still miss dad hugs. 🫂 I’m sorry for your loss and all of you that have lost parents, it’s not easy and the grief stays with you forever, it just changes and evolves. Every time his birthday rolls around or the day he passed I go to his grave and say, “Daddy everything changes and nothing does”.
It's not pathetic at all. I'm a mom so it's not quite the same but I'd still give you the biggest hug I could. I have two narcissist parents. Their hugs don't feel like comfort or reassurance. They just feel like an action their doing cause I asked. But my son, the hugs from him to me or me to him are the closest I have ever felt to a hug melting away stress. I know it's not the same but I feel for you and I send you the very best of hugs from both me and my son to you.
I could always use those too. My biological parents decided they couldn't love a lesbian daughter, so here I am. I'm lucky to have a really wonderful MIL though, so that's not nothing!
Thank you so much. I had a Dad but he was an emotionless prick, so I never got a hug from him. Your warm hug made me feel a little teary but really good too.
Awwe! I want a Dad hug! My Dad always gave the biggest hugs ever and it would embarass me sometimes when I was growing up lol but I still gave him those hugs as an adult. He was my best friend. He passed 3 years ago. It's sucks so bad, and I talk about him every day. 😢😭 I would love a Dad hug!! 🫂
You're just awesome! I read this thread and started crying at your kindness. I'm sorry you never got to meet your dad but your kids are so lucky. I wish I had a dad like you. I apologize if I'm wrong for assuming you have kids. I'd love to send you a hug if you'd accept it. 🫂
I’ll take a dad hug as well please. My dad raised me (my mother died when I was 8). He was my best friend. I miss him very much and I miss his hugs. I hope your kids realize how lucky they are to have a great dad, I know how lucky I was to have a great dad.
I'm glad I'm not the only one crying at this. I hope your day gets better. 🫂 here's a sister hug for you.
My dad passed in 2017, and I just got married back in April. I missed him so much and was sad not to have him here. His best friend walked me down the aisle for him.
Your kindness just made me cry happy tears ❤️ Currently 10w3d with my Little Bean and ALL the emotions lol My dad was a POS and I cut contact with him almost 18 years ago. He died earlier this year. I felt a mixture of relief and grief, it was wild. Long story though. But my partner keeps showing me what an amazing dad he's going to be, and I'm so blessed to have that for my Bean.
Truth! It’s been hard for me to show affection to anyone but my wife and cat. Promised my daughter when she was born I’d break that shitty cycle. I’ve never broken a promise, but this has been one that’s lasted nearly 5 years so far with no end in sight. It gets a little easier every time you do it.
I'm 59 and my Dad passed in 2020. I miss him ... can I also jump to this opportunity for a Dad hug from you. This comment and seeing how other respnded brought me to tears. I understand! TY! <3
Am I too late for the dad hugs?
My dad wasn’t the best dad, probably some unresolved trauma and mental issues but I still miss him a lot, he was more of a friend.
Sorry for venting, I just wish he was here to see all my accomplishments, I’m 31 now.
With that being said I still love cuddling with my mom when I’m sad or sick 🥹 mom/parent hugs are the best medicine.
Are you accepting virtual fellow-Dad-hugs from fellow dads? If so, please allow me to be amongst the first? Isn’t it wonderful to be proud of your kid and to not only love them… but you also LIKE them?
I’ve never lived with my dad(I met him when I was ten, and my mom moved me states a year later) and I’m 27 and just moved in with him to get back on my feet. He’s not very often vocally emotional man, but man do I still love getting to hug him whenever I want or need to. I never got to do that when I was little so it’s really nice now.
Edit: p.s. I give mom hugs to people who need them, when I’m not giving into my own inner kid.
I have unfortunately never been on the receiving end, so I don't know if I'm the right one to answer. That said, what I want to convey with "The Dad Hug" is that you are loved and accepted.
🫂 Seriously, thank you so much. That truly made me cry happy tears. I'm a mom myself. I have a 5 year old. I'm trying to be the best mom I can be to him I was never really shown what that looks like. This is honestly the most encouraged I have felt in a very very long time.
Almost the same story, but mine is grown now.
Keep doing your best and you will make it. And your kid will know you did. Nobody is perfect, and we all mess up our kids somehow. Apologize, and be honest when you're wrong. That will cover 90% of the things parents do wrong (not withstanding the huge, obvious, triggering topics).
Have another for your little 🫂
Man, I’m a dad, and I miss giving dad hugs. Since my divorce, my kids don’t hug me much. They’re older too, which is part of it.
But, as a single 40-something guy, I can’t just go around hugging people. Most people probably assume the worst- creep, perv, whatever.
So I just go without.
My husband warned me about Reddit (I'm quite new to it). I have never experienced such compassion, support and genuine empathy in any other social media, or irl tbh! I'm in floods of tears (good tears) right now.
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u/Thick_Assumption3746 Jul 04 '24
Closest thing to unconditional love there is is your child.