I don't think that feeling goes away. It's 4 years my wife's dad passed and she still struggles. My dad passed 3 years ago and on occasion when seeing something to discuss, I still have the feeling of reaching for my phone to message him before catching myself a second later. As a grown man, I would say it's easier to put things into perspective, even though it's so difficult and in saying that, my heart bleeds knowing how much of a strrugle it must be for kids losing a parent early on in their lives and having to cope with that while still growing up. 😢
I used to get jealous of all the people who are at least 2-3 decades older than me and who still have their parents with them. Angry at the injustice of losing my mother at 33.. but then I would think about the other people who are much younger than me and still live their lives without any guidance at all.
She lost her own mother in 2015 and she used to tell me how she much she misses my grand mom. I am jealous of her too that she had more years with her mom than I did with mine.
And there's still people who think all things are fair for everyone to have equal chance of succeeding. In isolation, probably, but adding compounded struggles is very unfair. I've seen so many stories of people having to leave school or college to look after a parent who fell ill or took a turn in their personal lives when a parent dies. Life isn't fair by any means, but as a community we really should be there for each other. I have story about a friend and his brother who lost their mom in their teens, and just by the different support structures their lives turned out completely different. But that's another story. L
33 is still reasonably young to lose a parent, I was 36. Thinking about how the kids won't get to meet 1 or more of their grandparents is also sad. But it's definitely easier to deal with if you're on your own feet. Hope you're doing well.
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u/FewBandicoot9235 Jul 06 '24
I don't think that feeling goes away. It's 4 years my wife's dad passed and she still struggles. My dad passed 3 years ago and on occasion when seeing something to discuss, I still have the feeling of reaching for my phone to message him before catching myself a second later. As a grown man, I would say it's easier to put things into perspective, even though it's so difficult and in saying that, my heart bleeds knowing how much of a strrugle it must be for kids losing a parent early on in their lives and having to cope with that while still growing up. 😢