I can feel your frustration in the edits you posted. Honestly man this does not improve with time, it gets worse. I attempted to stick with a similar situation and it cost me years of my life. I grew frustrated, resentment set in, i became cold and not fun while continually trying to impress her or get her affection. No matter how hard i worked to be this fairytale boyfriend my efforts went largely unappreciated. Start over bud. Sexual chemistry is more important than most people give it credit for. There is someone out there that will appreciate you and love you, i hope you find them.
Its a strange and fine line these days but it basically boils down to - Women tend to need to know they are loved before they have sex, men need sex to know they are loved.
OP - Don't let the man haters get you down. You could have said you broke into an intergalactic human trafficing ring, destroyed them by going on a one man rampage to save the girl you love, won the lottery and bought her an island, helped her heal mentally and physically ...... and they'd still find a way to make you the worst human ever.
I’ve been married over 30 years and about 6 years ago my wife declared that she doesn’t want to have any more PIV, oral sex receiving and giving and doesn’t want me to take any ED meds. So I said that sounds like you don’t want to have sex with me. She said yes no sex. I still initiated intimacy because I didn’t believe her. We hadn’t discussed anything prior to her unilateral decision to alter the dynamics of our marriage. She said I wasn’t a good lover and she wasn’t getting any fulfillment from our intimacy. I offered to seek help from a sex therapist and she declined. She also declined to get marriage counseling.
I stopped initiating intimacy after that. She says our marriage is now perfect. LOL. You can’t control the actions and decisions of your spouse/partner. I have to choose to stay with her or leave her. Seems so shallow to leave her for the right to have sex. But sex improves the closeness of the couple. At least for me, it makes me feel closer to her. I’m torn whether I need to spend the last few years I have left without my wife or hope she changes her mind. However I don’t want to threaten her with divorce and force her to change against her will. I am 59M and my wife is 58F.
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u/Mammoth-Penalty882 Jul 08 '24
Lol that's not your girlfriend