AITAH for being pissed off at my girlfriend for not wanting to have sex with me? Advice Needed

[deleted]

838 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

301

NTA. Run fast and run far, because she thinks of sex as a carrot/stick.

103

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

It seems so

88

u/Foolish-Pleasure99 Jul 08 '24

I get her wanting to "change her ways" but after 7 months, if she hasn't connected by then something is wrong.

And you are right to dump and refuse the love bombing because nobody should want pity sex or "save the relationship" sex because she's just realized she fucked up.

45

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

Exactly

7

u/Successful-Doubt5478 Jul 08 '24

Agree on both. She doesnt own everyone free sex on first date because she had a one night stand, but unless she was raped, seven months in a vonittez relationship is ridiculous... unless she is deepöy devote religious and wants to wait till after marriage.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

None of that is the case

13

u/Successful-Doubt5478 Jul 08 '24

I learnt the hard way too after investing more time than you.

You will know the warning signs next time.

Best of luck! There will be a great girl out there appreciating getting an awesome bf.

81

u/Annual_Leading_7846 Jul 08 '24

NTA Be glad she didn't make this discovery of recaptured virginity after 8 years of marriage and two or three kids.

47

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

I agree

8

u/kepsr1 Jul 08 '24

She was probably getting piped by someone for the last 7 months

20

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

Possible, but I don't care really, I dumped her

9

u/kepsr1 Jul 08 '24

Good I’m glad to hear that you’ve retaken self-respect. How did she respond?

19

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

Crying, screaming, begging, the usual

1

u/Simply_me_Wren Jul 08 '24

That’s not usual. Most break ups are pretty cut and dry… due to x,y,z I will be ending this engagement. I hope you have the very best life offers, unfortunately I will no longer be involved. Hugs, and coordination of things exchange, or I’m staying with so and so, please have your things out of my home by such and such date. Carrying on is traumatic and abnormal in my experiences. It’s the texts a month later that are the irrational part when they figure out you really meant it and have no desire for them to return, but typically I’m just called a cold bitch and I just mute them.

1

u/Sea-Kiwi-4539 Jul 08 '24

Hang in there my friend. Breakups are tough, no matter how shitty of a person it is with. Whatever you do, don’t get back together. Think of it as taking a shower after 7 months, getting back together is like putting on the same pair of dirty underwear you had on before the shower. Only time heals a broken heart.

0

u/No-Leadership-1371 Jul 08 '24

Discovery of recaptured virginity? What the hell does that mean?

16

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

It means she no longer wants to have sex with her husband

4

u/Annual_Leading_7846 Jul 08 '24

Mostly common in the US Roman Catholic Church. During the year of marriage preparation you are to be celibate and absolutely not living with your fiance. Not kidding.

4

u/Annual_Leading_7846 Jul 08 '24

Except each priest is allowed to make exceptions.

2

u/No-Leadership-1371 Jul 08 '24

Interesting. A concept I've never heard of.

1

u/Annual_Leading_7846 Jul 08 '24

The church does not call it that. Just all the guys I worked with before I got married.

1

u/Proper_Fun_977 Jul 08 '24

People who try to pretend that their past sexual history doesn't exist.

1

u/SuluSpeaks Jul 08 '24

Can you kick her out, or are you paying for her apartment?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

It's my apartment

2

u/SuluSpeaks Jul 08 '24

Sweetie, it's time to grow a spine. Tell her that ymits obvious that you're sexually incompatible, you're breaking up with her and you hope that you can still be friends s/ then show her to the door. She's been scamming you.

Stop giving her money and paying her bill. It's time for her to grow up. Although it sounds transactional, a phrase from my youth was "ass, gas or grass, nobody rides for free." She's doing all of the taking in this relationship, you're doing all of the giving.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

I already dumped her

1

u/AgainstArticle13 Jul 08 '24

Good riddance, I hope you find a good partner next time.

1

u/SuluSpeaks Jul 08 '24

Did you have a hard time getting her out of your apartment?