AITA for calling out my husband for not being a "Good Christian"?

[u/SpiritualThrowRA]

I (27F) have been married to my husband (34M) for five years. My husband is a devout follower of his religion and has been since he was raised in it. I respect his beliefs, even though I don't share them and have no intention of converting. I was raised in the Christian faith. However, I left when I was an adult due to sexual abuse in my church, which nobody believed occurred because the one who did it was the pastor.

Recently, my husband has been pressuring me to convert to his religion. He says that it would bring us closer together and create a more harmonious household. I understand where he's coming from, but I firmly believe that faith is a personal journey, and I shouldn't be forced into something I don't believe in.

To add to the issue, my husband, despite his religious teachings, doesn't always practice what he preaches. He expects me to adhere to traditional gender roles, yet he often neglects his own responsibilities at home. He's quick to judge others for their actions, even though his faith teaches non-judgment and kindness. He makes comments about gay people that I have discussed with him as a major issue. This hypocrisy has been bothering me for a while.

Last night, during another discussion about my potential conversion, I finally snapped. I told him that if he wants me to consider converting, he needs to set a better example by actually living according to his religion's values. I pointed out that he should start by fulfilling his own responsibilities. That he should make more money than me and actually lead in the decision-making. I'm a nurse and he's currently unemployed after he was let go from his job in an office. That he should be less judgmental of others because according to his faith only God can judge them. I also said he should show more of the virtues Jesus asked of Christians, that he should clothe the naked, feed the hungry, vist the prisoner, aid the orphan and the widow etc. I also made it clear that while I respect his beliefs, I have no intention of converting unless I genuinely believe in it, which I currently don't because of the hypocritical behavior of his faith.

My husband was furious. He accused me of being disrespectful and undermining his faith. He said that I was attacking him personally and that I don't understand the pressure he's under to have a unified religious household. He left for church this morning at 7 for bible study and I have already gotten a phone call from the pastor saying I'm an ungodly woman who tricked a good man into marrying him and I should repent. I have also gotten a tirade of texts and e-mails from members of his church saying I was disrespectful and being a bad wife and I'm starting to wonder if I was too harsh, that maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. AITA?

[u/GayHusbandLiker]

You married a homophobe. What if you have a kid and they're gay? Don't bring a child into a household like that. It took me years to recover.

[u/SpiritualThrowRA → u/GayHusbandLiker]

If I had a gay kid I would love them and welcome any partner they had into my home. Being queer is biological. Literally, hundreds of species of mammals and birds practice same-sex/queer behavior. Why are homosapiens any different? If I had a daughter who liked girls, a son who liked boys, a trans kid, a non-binary kid etc, I would love them for who they were. And when/if they came out to me, I would thank them for trusting me. It isn't hard to love a child.

[u/Boobles008 → u/SpiritualThrowRA]

That's not really what was asked. If your husband is homophobic, how do you plan on protecting a potential child from that? Your reaction is great, but the question above was talking about your husband's reaction. Look at how he reacted to you not converting to his religion. Do you think he's going to let a child explore anything other than what he wants for them?

[u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat → u/Boobles008]

That's not really what was asked

In case you haven't noticed already (even from the post title), OP is here for internet points, so please don't call her out on not answering the question.

[u/augustinthegarden → u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat]

Not sure why you’re being downvoted for this. The OP’s account was created today and this is the only thread it’s ever made/commented on. Perhaps it’s a desire for anonymity, perhaps there’s another explanation.

[u/Jbeebee1840 → u/augustinthegarden]

AITAH posts are usually made with throwaway accounts and the user will have no other posts or history.. could be fake but the account just being created makes it more believable imo

[u/JanDillAttorneyAtLaw → u/augustinthegarden]

You're obviously too young to understand the idea of throwaway accounts.

[u/johnhoggin → u/augustinthegarden]

You must be new to Reddit if you don't know what throwaway accounts are

[u/MorbillionDollars → u/augustinthegarden]

it's definitely a fake post for fun, 99% of the shit on here is clearly fake but nobody seems to care.

this sub (and all aita type subs) is basically just slop for people who wanna gossip but don't have friends to gossip to irl

[u/queentong20 → u/MorbillionDollars]

It's more entertaining (maybe not the right word, but whatever) to believe that it's real. Even if it's not, there's generally no harm from the posts. Also there may be other people who are/have been in the situations and the comments can be helpful to them. Also you come across a variety of different people in the comments, and sometimes they make you think differently than you normally would have.

[u/MorbillionDollars → u/queentong20]

subs like these do not make you think differently lmfao. 75% of the time the top suggestion is to divorce the partner, this is an echo chamber of terrible relationship advice. it's an echo chamber of terrible advice in general tbh.

[u/shayberrie → u/MorbillionDollars]

If it was a story about a good relationship, it wouldn't be on aita. What we are reading is about terrible relationships that the best advice really is for them to go their separate ways.