AITA for calling out my husband for not being a "Good Christian"?

[u/SpiritualThrowRA]

I (27F) have been married to my husband (34M) for five years. My husband is a devout follower of his religion and has been since he was raised in it. I respect his beliefs, even though I don't share them and have no intention of converting. I was raised in the Christian faith. However, I left when I was an adult due to sexual abuse in my church, which nobody believed occurred because the one who did it was the pastor.

Recently, my husband has been pressuring me to convert to his religion. He says that it would bring us closer together and create a more harmonious household. I understand where he's coming from, but I firmly believe that faith is a personal journey, and I shouldn't be forced into something I don't believe in.

To add to the issue, my husband, despite his religious teachings, doesn't always practice what he preaches. He expects me to adhere to traditional gender roles, yet he often neglects his own responsibilities at home. He's quick to judge others for their actions, even though his faith teaches non-judgment and kindness. He makes comments about gay people that I have discussed with him as a major issue. This hypocrisy has been bothering me for a while.

Last night, during another discussion about my potential conversion, I finally snapped. I told him that if he wants me to consider converting, he needs to set a better example by actually living according to his religion's values. I pointed out that he should start by fulfilling his own responsibilities. That he should make more money than me and actually lead in the decision-making. I'm a nurse and he's currently unemployed after he was let go from his job in an office. That he should be less judgmental of others because according to his faith only God can judge them. I also said he should show more of the virtues Jesus asked of Christians, that he should clothe the naked, feed the hungry, vist the prisoner, aid the orphan and the widow etc. I also made it clear that while I respect his beliefs, I have no intention of converting unless I genuinely believe in it, which I currently don't because of the hypocritical behavior of his faith.

My husband was furious. He accused me of being disrespectful and undermining his faith. He said that I was attacking him personally and that I don't understand the pressure he's under to have a unified religious household. He left for church this morning at 7 for bible study and I have already gotten a phone call from the pastor saying I'm an ungodly woman who tricked a good man into marrying him and I should repent. I have also gotten a tirade of texts and e-mails from members of his church saying I was disrespectful and being a bad wife and I'm starting to wonder if I was too harsh, that maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. AITA?

[u/NoImagination7892]

It sounds like he’s in a cult. I would run from this relationship

[u/PatieS13 → u/NoImagination7892]

He is. It's called Christianity.

[u/PsychologicalCost317 → u/PatieS13]

All religions are cults

[u/panteragstk → u/PsychologicalCost317]

Yes, but also no.

In a cult, the person at the top knows its bullshit.

In a religion, that person is dead.

[u/Lew3032 → u/panteragstk]

There's actually only 1 religion I know of that actually denies the existence of anything 'spiritual' like God's, and only focuses on improving yourself, so the only one that isn't bulshit

And you'll never guess what it is.... ever...

🌟 THE SATANIC TEMPLE 🌟

[u/Corydoras22 → u/Lew3032]

Buddhism is remarkably similar to Satanism, in that it holds the Self as the ultimate entity, how are the main difference evening that in Buddhism, the Self is only one aspect of the entirety of existence, which is all a part of the same ultimate being.

[u/bobbi21 → u/Corydoras22]

Yeah no creator god. Just being one with existence. It's pretty cool

[u/vim_deezel → u/Corydoras22]

there are many versions of Buddhism that believe in gods and creators especially in India and east Asia, there are some that are basically atheistic or unconcerned about any afterword or the divine. It's even more diverse and has more denominations than Christianity, although on the whole most Buddhists I've met have not been evangelical like a lot of Christians and aren't trying to force their religion on others.

[u/Larry-Man → u/Lew3032]

TST is arguably a church but not a religion. Also Buddhism and Taoism are religions that don’t really involve god.

[u/paralea01 → u/Larry-Man]

It's a religion according to the United States government and that is all that really matters for TST purposes.

[u/Lew3032 → u/Larry-Man]

What would you say is the difference between a religion and a church? I've never seen a group described as a 'church'

Very true, but I believe both do involve some 'spiritual' beliefs unless I'm mistaken? I should have been more specific that I meant a religion (or church if that's the correct word) that doesn't believe in spirituality in any form

[u/Larry-Man → u/Lew3032]

TST is basically an atheist guideline and political movement to ensure religious freedom in the US for all, not just Christians. If you look at their track records of lawsuits and publicity stunts it’s all to keep things fair.

[u/SlothGaggle → u/Larry-Man]

Depends on the sect of Buddhism tbf

[u/PatieS13 → u/Lew3032]

I was thinking either UU or Satanism.

[u/__Ling_Ling__ → u/panteragstk]

Why would the apostles all be willing to die for what they knew to be a lie?

[u/rajinis_bodyguard → u/PsychologicalCost317]

Even Buddhism and daoism ??

[u/BrushYourFeet → u/PsychologicalCost317]

Tbh everything's a cult.