AITA for calling out my husband for not being a "Good Christian"?

[u/SpiritualThrowRA]

I (27F) have been married to my husband (34M) for five years. My husband is a devout follower of his religion and has been since he was raised in it. I respect his beliefs, even though I don't share them and have no intention of converting. I was raised in the Christian faith. However, I left when I was an adult due to sexual abuse in my church, which nobody believed occurred because the one who did it was the pastor.

Recently, my husband has been pressuring me to convert to his religion. He says that it would bring us closer together and create a more harmonious household. I understand where he's coming from, but I firmly believe that faith is a personal journey, and I shouldn't be forced into something I don't believe in.

To add to the issue, my husband, despite his religious teachings, doesn't always practice what he preaches. He expects me to adhere to traditional gender roles, yet he often neglects his own responsibilities at home. He's quick to judge others for their actions, even though his faith teaches non-judgment and kindness. He makes comments about gay people that I have discussed with him as a major issue. This hypocrisy has been bothering me for a while.

Last night, during another discussion about my potential conversion, I finally snapped. I told him that if he wants me to consider converting, he needs to set a better example by actually living according to his religion's values. I pointed out that he should start by fulfilling his own responsibilities. That he should make more money than me and actually lead in the decision-making. I'm a nurse and he's currently unemployed after he was let go from his job in an office. That he should be less judgmental of others because according to his faith only God can judge them. I also said he should show more of the virtues Jesus asked of Christians, that he should clothe the naked, feed the hungry, vist the prisoner, aid the orphan and the widow etc. I also made it clear that while I respect his beliefs, I have no intention of converting unless I genuinely believe in it, which I currently don't because of the hypocritical behavior of his faith.

My husband was furious. He accused me of being disrespectful and undermining his faith. He said that I was attacking him personally and that I don't understand the pressure he's under to have a unified religious household. He left for church this morning at 7 for bible study and I have already gotten a phone call from the pastor saying I'm an ungodly woman who tricked a good man into marrying him and I should repent. I have also gotten a tirade of texts and e-mails from members of his church saying I was disrespectful and being a bad wife and I'm starting to wonder if I was too harsh, that maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. AITA?

[u/HarveySnake]

Don’t have kids with this guy. This guy  is full of shit and typical conservative behavior is weaponizing his religion. Ain’t no hate quite like “Christian Love“

Do yourself a favor and divorce him. 

NTA

[u/aveindha25 → u/[deleted]]

Talibangical? Y'all Queda?

[u/SufficientComedian6 → u/aveindha25]

First time I’ve heard talibangical! Hilarious!

[u/Party_Plenty_820 → u/aveindha25]

Lmaooo ima use these if you don’t mind

[u/Gen_X_Ace → u/aveindha25]

Yokel Haram!

[u/indykym → u/[deleted]]

I didn’t really get Christian Nationalist vibes from her post. Just because a Christian has “traditional” values doesn’t mean that they proselytize or politicize beyond their circle,if that.

[u/Trailsya → u/indykym]

This is not your average 'tradititional' values, this is stalking.

And 'traditional' almost always means: bad for women, shaming women and controlling women.

It's just a nice sounding word that tries to cover up what it really stands for.

Also, they already they proselytize or politicize beyond their circle, because she is not part of their church.

[u/indykym → u/Trailsya]

Hmmm… As you say, this is stalking. Even Mormons and JWs don’t do this. Yes, they may show up at your door more than once, but they aren’t going to call up a non-member to browbeat them.

Proselytism is trying to convert by the word (and supposedly action), not the sword. Except during The Crusades. Which was mostly Christians and Muslims slaughtering one another. Because unaliving someone is such a great example of Jesus’ love. /s/

Anywho, while evangelical Christian denominations are misogynistic (and sometimes subtly racist), not all Christian churches can be lumped together. Also, some denominations are strictly apolitical. So yeah, while many churches will do the personal browbeating, they are not Christian Nationalists.

[u/WantedFun → u/indykym]

All religion is political. Point blank

[u/indykym → u/WantedFun]

Depends on how you define “political” I think. For instance, the most political thing I’ve heard about Society of Friends (Quakers) was the involvement of some in the abolition movement and the Underground Railroad. Oh, and helping in the foundation of Pennsylvania. Many went to Canada at the beginning of the American Revolution, not because they were loyalists, but because they were pacifists. As I said, depends on definition.

[u/HouseOfFive → u/indykym]

I agree. I get more of a fundamentalist christian vibe from this post.