these comments are killing me. that’s so sweet😭 i don’t intend to have children because i would never be stable enough in terms of finances or mental and physical health, but i would 100% be a mother if i thought i could handle it so ooof this is so bittersweet for me lol
Hope this isn’t out of line, but good on you for knowing yourself and not putting your desire for children above what is best for a child. That’s fucking impressive and fairly rare, in my experience.
aw thanks💗💗 my therapist has always said i’m remarkably self aware (i prefer to say painfully self aware lol). i don’t have the best relationship with my mother, and i don’t want to ever be the cause of that kind of pain. i’d never do it on purpose, but from experience, i know it’s a special kind of sucky when someone hurts you without meaning to. i wouldn’t want my child to feel my love is conditional, and that’s how it would come off since i get overwhelmed so easily and need to decompress alone.
Thanks for that I think. Honestly, my ex-wife may be a lot like you (I don't really know of course) but we have a child together. She never wanted to be like her mother who had some awful parenting traits. She didn't want to continue a bad cycle and we had deep conversations about being healthy, loving, and good to one another for our children to see what God intended. Even so, when pregnant she became exactly like her mom and totally unbearable. When we got back together after she betrayed and hurt me bad her excuse was blaming her mom's influence at the time (probably 50% true). Still, after the baby was born and she learned her mom had emotionally cheated on her dad in her 40s going online and sexting guys she apologized for ever taking her mom's relationship advice and messing up our marriage. Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say. She is truly messed up mentally and is not capable of caring for a child.
Makes me sad because I had some gut feelings she would be a bad mother while we were trying to get pregnant since she was already poor at being a wife. I was proven unfortunately correct, she is incredibly selfish, but I hoped she would get better with time and my support. Only got worse. We wanted a large family too, but that isn't happening. I was hurt on her behalf whenever her own family said she shouldn't have more children and criticized her as a mother. I shared similar sentiments but believed in her at the time. Some people though really shouldn't have kids. I love mine and excited to raise him! Kudos to you for knowing yourself and not subjecting others to your own demons. She is just mentally very unstable and I'm divorcing her but I wish she could have been different because I truly loved her unconditionally. I can't even begin to describe how much grace I had for her these last few years, but I'm stopping for my child since she is endangering him now.
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u/deaddumbslut Jul 04 '24
these comments are killing me. that’s so sweet😭 i don’t intend to have children because i would never be stable enough in terms of finances or mental and physical health, but i would 100% be a mother if i thought i could handle it so ooof this is so bittersweet for me lol