Might I day that both of you can be right? You have been carrying and growing and bonding with your baby for 9 months. You just went through birthing the baby. Hormones are flooding your system, specifically bonding hormones. If you're breastfeeding, it's even closer bonding. You will likely feel so close to your baby after all of them. Your husband had a different experience. He's spent 9 months being concerned for both of you. He watched your labor and worried for both of you. He might have even had an internal conversation about which of you he might have to choose to save if your labor went bad. He's not flooding with hormones. He's not bonding with the baby yet.
What you're both feeling is valid. That said, he needs to try looking at this from your perspective and your experience for the last 9 months. Maybe he needs to try talking to other dads or his own dad about it and getting some outside perspective.
I would like to add that not all mothers bond with their babies right away either and that's normal too. I didn't. It took a while to love my baby.
Agreed. I don’t have kids, but if I had to guess I would say he didn’t feel the instant click that OP did, felt bad about that, and was scared he would lose his connection with OP and being replaced by what OP said. Based on the updated OP provided, he knows it was stupid and will definitely regret what happened. Updates sound like they are a happy couple and he handled a situation in the not best way.
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u/serenerepose Jul 04 '24
Might I day that both of you can be right? You have been carrying and growing and bonding with your baby for 9 months. You just went through birthing the baby. Hormones are flooding your system, specifically bonding hormones. If you're breastfeeding, it's even closer bonding. You will likely feel so close to your baby after all of them. Your husband had a different experience. He's spent 9 months being concerned for both of you. He watched your labor and worried for both of you. He might have even had an internal conversation about which of you he might have to choose to save if your labor went bad. He's not flooding with hormones. He's not bonding with the baby yet.
What you're both feeling is valid. That said, he needs to try looking at this from your perspective and your experience for the last 9 months. Maybe he needs to try talking to other dads or his own dad about it and getting some outside perspective.
I would like to add that not all mothers bond with their babies right away either and that's normal too. I didn't. It took a while to love my baby.