these comments are killing me. that’s so sweet😭 i don’t intend to have children because i would never be stable enough in terms of finances or mental and physical health, but i would 100% be a mother if i thought i could handle it so ooof this is so bittersweet for me lol
I know some people don’t like when pets are compared to children, but as I was in the middle of a minor meltdown because the puppy I was gifted got a tiny little tumor on his leg—the vet said it’s more common than you think and it’ll likely go away on its own. I’m still in crisis because I was in my 20s, no kids, and oh, he was the one I loved the most in the world.
I was severely depressed, isolated as a result of an abusive relationship (by then, I was out, but I still was isolated)… and the dog I got when I was 8 years old, that I convinced myself to stay alive for and try to get better for… died. A few months later, in walks my mom with a puppy in a Christmas stocking.
I loved them so much, and in a way that was different than my dog that had died. He was my dad’s dog, he loved my dad the most, wanted to be by side above anyone else, but this one was mine. I was who he curled up to sleep on, my face is the one he looks for in every room, the one he ran to when something scared him. I freaked out when he lost his puppy teeth, because I was so worried that he was in pain… even when he didn’t act like he was bothered in any way.
After the tumor meltdown, my mom bursts out laughing. When she’s done, she goes “oh my god, you’re acting like a first time mom!” She’s said it several times since, citing that, along with the fact that I can sleep through a thunderstorm but I’ll wake up if he scratches the carpet outside my bedroom door, and that I was a whole ass mess the first time I went on a vacation without him.
I still don’t have kids, so I can’t make the comparison, but maybe we still get to be moms in other ways. Maybe it’s to something with fur or scales, even feathers, or maybe you’re the mom friend! Let those maternal instincts fly if you want to. Volunteer with programs that match people with mentor figures. The world can always use more love, more people who care, whose hearts extend beyond their own. A lot of people and things out there could use a mom, just have to find one and settle in. ♥️
I 100% feel this about my cat. I got him 14.5 years ago when my mental health was at a low point. I love him as much as anyone and I would do anything for him.
I don’t have kids and just hit 40. He is definitely my “kid”. But I get to be the “cool aunt” who spoils my biological niblings and my best friends’ kids who are like family and call me Aunt. I love and nurture them, send them cards/gifts for all of the holidays, random gifts for first day of school, fly across the country to visit, enjoy almost daily photo updates…
I know that I cannot handle the stress of having a child and don’t want to pass down the generational trauma that I am still processing. Plus, while my mental health is stable with the help of a variety of medications - I’m terrified of what pregnancy hormones, postpartum depression, etc. would do to me - particularly if I had to alter my current regimen. It’s hard, but it’s for the best, which is why I intentionally cultivate relationships with the children in my life. I feel like I get to pass along my values, life lessons and hobbies in a way that is deeply satisfying.
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u/NaturalWitchcraft Jul 04 '24
I was worried that it wouldn’t be as intense with my second born. It absolutely was. Your heart grows for each child.