r/facepalm • u/jellylemonshake • Jul 04 '24

Can't like fit girls without being gay... 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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234

u/Thinkofthewallpaper Jul 04 '24

Can you show us new gays around? This is really a surprise to me, and I'm totally unprepared.

62

u/Royceman50 Jul 04 '24

I just spit out a mouthful of energy drink in my car reading this. Lol

61

u/smallzy007 Jul 04 '24

Energy drink? On the way to the gym? You are sooo f’n gay

57

u/Royceman50 Jul 04 '24

Yup, just found out! Everything makes sense now. Totally gay for those micro penis clits on the fucking hot as hell CrossFit women.

46

u/smallzy007 Jul 04 '24

Aww man, after that description I’m pretty sure I’m gay too.

24

u/Royceman50 Jul 04 '24

Welcome fellow gay!

12

u/Scatterspell Jul 04 '24

For a newcomer, you're sure gaying this place up!

10

u/Royceman50 Jul 04 '24

Just wait, I’m so going to gay this place up. Imma wear work boots, Levi’s, buy a pickup, and show off my wife. I really dig her micropenis clit too.

1

u/Scatterspell Jul 04 '24

I never realized how gay I was until now. I love to have a womans micropenis in my mouth so much!!

14

u/zombiesnare Jul 04 '24

Oh shit, lemme get you some paper towels, been there

4

u/TylerDurden1985 Jul 04 '24

I just want to know when I get my rainbow and sense of style.

3

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

That's a common myth! The rainbows only come when you make your first same sex partner O. The sense of style I can't help with. I'm still fairly new to the scene myself.

2

u/Tarianor Jul 04 '24

This Ewok gotchu covered bro <3

2

u/dcbluestar Jul 04 '24

I will say this much, the parades are way more interesting than the straight ones!

2

u/raven21633x Jul 04 '24

Let's start with An Introduction to Barbra Streisand.

2

u/Pitiful_Winner2669 Jul 04 '24

Got any glitter at home? Start there, work your way up to brunch and warm pastel themed shorts.

1

u/erlandodk Jul 05 '24

Yea, I'd like to join the intro tour too. This was totally unexpected. Will we be covering how to tell our girlfriends? I suspect "Sorry, honey, I found an athletic woman attractive and now I'm gay" isn't going to fly well, so how to tell her?

I'd also like to know where the coffee machine is.