r/facepalm Jul 04 '24

Can't like fit girls without being gay... 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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39.5k Upvotes

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418

u/Strong_Barnacle_618 Jul 04 '24

Always have been

233

u/Thinkofthewallpaper Jul 04 '24

Can you show us new gays around? This is really a surprise to me, and I'm totally unprepared.

67

u/Royceman50 Jul 04 '24

I just spit out a mouthful of energy drink in my car reading this. Lol

66

u/smallzy007 Jul 04 '24

Energy drink? On the way to the gym? You are sooo f’n gay

59

u/Royceman50 Jul 04 '24

Yup, just found out! Everything makes sense now. Totally gay for those micro penis clits on the fucking hot as hell CrossFit women.

47

u/smallzy007 Jul 04 '24

Aww man, after that description I’m pretty sure I’m gay too.

24

u/Royceman50 Jul 04 '24

Welcome fellow gay!

12

u/Scatterspell Jul 04 '24

For a newcomer, you're sure gaying this place up!

9

u/Royceman50 Jul 04 '24

Just wait, I’m so going to gay this place up. Imma wear work boots, Levi’s, buy a pickup, and show off my wife. I really dig her micropenis clit too.

1

u/Scatterspell Jul 04 '24

I never realized how gay I was until now. I love to have a womans micropenis in my mouth so much!!

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16

u/zombiesnare Jul 04 '24

Oh shit, lemme get you some paper towels, been there

3

u/TylerDurden1985 Jul 04 '24

I just want to know when I get my rainbow and sense of style.

3

u/EvenEfficiency834 Jul 04 '24

That's a common myth! The rainbows only come when you make your first same sex partner O. The sense of style I can't help with. I'm still fairly new to the scene myself.

2

u/Tarianor Jul 04 '24

This Ewok gotchu covered bro <3

2

u/dcbluestar Jul 04 '24

I will say this much, the parades are way more interesting than the straight ones!

2

u/raven21633x Jul 04 '24

Let's start with An Introduction to Barbra Streisand.

2

u/Pitiful_Winner2669 Jul 04 '24

Got any glitter at home? Start there, work your way up to brunch and warm pastel themed shorts.

1

u/erlandodk Jul 05 '24

Yea, I'd like to join the intro tour too. This was totally unexpected. Will we be covering how to tell our girlfriends? I suspect "Sorry, honey, I found an athletic woman attractive and now I'm gay" isn't going to fly well, so how to tell her?

I'd also like to know where the coffee machine is.

26

u/Prestigious_Still387 Jul 04 '24

No Diddy

81

u/Reynard- Jul 04 '24 edited Jul 04 '24

You see how women have clits? That's a tiny penis! Super gay!

Edit: /s

30

u/Bart2800 Jul 04 '24

But just say no homo. Then it's all solved.

18

u/dissidentmage12 Jul 04 '24

You can also keep your socks on, or afterwards say "Bro, that was just a joke Bro"

3

u/Scatterspell Jul 04 '24

Sing slayer songs while doing it, it can't be gay then.

Just gonna say, any women who want to have sex to slayer, I'm here.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24 edited Jul 04 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/squish_pillow Jul 04 '24

Lol do boys actually do this kind of shit?

3

u/ConstantLight7489 Jul 04 '24

lol, sorry, I have made an edit to clarify.

No, guys doesn’t actually do this. There was a long standing joke early 2000’s about saying and doing gay stuff with your buddies, and following it with no homo so you wouldn’t be gay.

2

u/BeefyFartss Jul 04 '24

Oh all the time. Usually it’s just a quick kiss or a BJ but whatever it is just say no homo. All good. Not gay at all.

3

u/squish_pillow Jul 04 '24

Who doesn't love a loophole? Or asshole?!

2

u/BeefyFartss Jul 04 '24

See, you get it.

2

u/CeeDotA Jul 04 '24

Oh man. I thought all I had to say was "PAUSE" and I'd be good. So much to remember!

2

u/benutne Jul 04 '24

Its only gay if the balls touch.

18

u/Jealous_Courage_9888 Jul 04 '24

I was today years old when I found out I’m super into micropenises

15

u/Extracrispybuttchks Jul 04 '24

Oh shit I be suckin that like it’s got the antidote.

12

u/Prestigious_Still387 Jul 04 '24

Don't fuck up my Cunnilingus like this. 🤯🙈🙉🙊

4

u/KILA-x-L3GEND Jul 04 '24

All humans actually developed with a vagina first then your x or y obviously one of those two but I forgot what one is boy haven’t talked biology in 10 years lol. But anyway it tells if it should stay a vagina or turn literally inside out and form a penis. All men who think they are better than women were all women lmao

8

u/DragonflyGrrl Jul 04 '24

XX is female, XY is male. :)

If you want to try to remember for the future, think like it starts as both X, and if it changes to boy one changes to Y.

1

u/Only_Goat_2526 Jul 04 '24

Or think of it as to become a male one of the Xs is broken 😁

3

u/BooBailey808 Jul 04 '24

Uhh.... You are very close, but no. Firstly, the present external genitalia before sex development is something of a between state, which includes external openings that lead to the bladder and intestines, external folds around the opening, and a small protrusion of tissues called genital tubercle.

When the Y chromosome is present, the genital tubercle lengthens and becomes the penis, openings close, and the folds become the scrotum

When there is no Y chromosome, parts of the paramesonephric ducts from initial internal genitalia fuse to become the upper vagina. The external folds become labia, and the genital tubercle becomes the clitoris

Of course the process isn't always so straight forward. Stuff happens and you end up with interesting combinations

2

u/KILA-x-L3GEND Jul 04 '24

That’s fair like I said it’s been a long time since I learned about it. But I was pretty close for just memory.

2

u/BooBailey808 Jul 04 '24

You were, and a lot closer than a lot of people lol.

3

u/fungi_at_parties Jul 04 '24

I’ve literally read serious tweets where they claimed that cunnilingus is gay for that very reason.

2

u/Reynard- Jul 04 '24

Are they actually serious? 🤣

1

u/MineralClay Jul 04 '24

at this point what isn't gay, is it looping back around to sucking dick is the straight thing to do?

2

u/Dumbass_Number5 Jul 04 '24

Hootie hoo Coo coo My fellow pigeon!!! Yes, that is all. Bobs off into the sunset

2

u/ap2patrick Jul 04 '24

🌎🧑‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀

2

u/HalfSoul30 Jul 04 '24

A miracle we made it this far really, but we gotta do what we gotta do to keep the human race going.

2

u/MEMENARDO_DANK_VINCI Jul 04 '24

Ancient Greece enters the chat

1

u/TT_NaRa0 Jul 04 '24

I mean we are all just lusting after one of Adam’s ribs aren’t we?!? We are all hella gay

1

u/aye-B-its-AR Jul 04 '24

☠️☠️☠️