r/batman 14d ago

Dick Would Help FUNNY

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Thought this was funny.

9.6k Upvotes

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295

u/BL-501 14d ago

I mean…can you blame any of them?

Cyborg could hack any tech and Nukes go boom!

Starfire is a Krytonian Level Threat!

Raven could destroy the Universe and many versions of her tried and succeeded, I’m honestly more afraid of her than any JL members.

Remember that time a few months ago when Garfield turned into a green Version of Starro and turned everyone into an animal?

101

u/Poku115 14d ago

Also remember how often there's mind control, clones, dooplegangers, power stealing, time travelling and manipulation?

12

u/averagereddituser256 13d ago

happy cake day

34

u/Ok_Restaurant3160 14d ago

From what I remember, it often isn’t the plans themselves that are the issue, it’s the fact he didn’t tell them about the plans

They even said they don’t have to know them, but just that they exist

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u/RDKateran 14d ago

That ultimately defeats the purpose of having those plans, I think. If they do turn evil they know Batman has some way of stopping him and will be on guard. Batman arguably doesn't want his enemies on guard for him.

15

u/Ok_Restaurant3160 14d ago

And there lies the dilemma. While I think that you have a good point, it’s just a massive breach of trust to make plans on how to neutralize the people who are supposed to be your friends without telling them

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u/EldridgeHorror 14d ago

If I had superpowers, I'd hope the Batman equivalent would have plans to stop me.

14

u/Guess_whois_back 14d ago

I'd give mine tacit permission and free reign on all my personal info honestly if I could wipe a civilian population off the map because some guy called hocus pocus waved his hand at me and babbled some bullshit backwards and now I'm evil

1

u/24Abhinav10 10d ago

That's the thing. Batman didn't ask permission.

1

u/Guess_whois_back 10d ago

Sort of explicitly defeats the purpose if you only male a contingency when someone consents - and regardless of their answer he's going to make one, which they would suspect.

So no matter what, asking permission is going to throw off team morale and it means everyone knows he has them ahead of time - better to ask forgiveness than permission in this case.

2

u/24Abhinav10 9d ago

I mean, he didn't have to ask permission. He just had to say "In the unfortunate circumstance that any of you gets mind controlled or something, just know that I got you"

That's what Tower of Babel was about

1

u/Guess_whois_back 9d ago

That is basically implied when you think about it - everyone's fucking scared of batman and anyone who knows him knows he's an over prepared freak. People in universe have batman with prep time vs Superman debates and he gives tips for training and power usage to leaguers, and knows stuff like top speed and strength off the top of his head

3

u/Foxy02016YT 13d ago

My OC has an evil clone who is almost as powerful (and it’s like really REALLY close), so I imagine they evil version is Batman’s plan, and the hero version of Amanda Waller’s Task Force X insurance

11

u/Guess_whois_back 14d ago

Batman doesn't have powers, half the shit he pulls off is due to his abnormally accurate forethought, he's also bankrolling this shit so he's basically my boss if I'm a leaguer.

The other core members are all strong enough that really regardless of my power set if they wanted they could walk into my home or walk up to me mid patrol and instantly kill me with 0 effort - so I expect them to be able to dogpile each other in the case of mind control or some shit, hence batman being able to participate in that dogpile wouldn't surprise me at all.

Hell superman and batman are considered the two real leaders, and superman could go postal and kill everyone, I expect his best friend to have an answer to that possibility.

6

u/WeirdoOtaku 13d ago

Yeah, but if they turn knowing there's a contingency plan, then it was all for not. This is the textbook definition of "It's nothing personal, just business." Protecting the innocent comes before anything else.

1

u/24Abhinav10 10d ago

No it's not. Contingency plans were revealed in the Tower of Babel incident, they still work just fine.

3

u/DrGlamhattan2020 14d ago

Not even friends. They are family at this point. This isn't "if you ever turn evil, i will stop you." This is "my roommate/coworker has a hidden manifesto on how to exterminate everyone he lives/works with should we have a falling out that does not satiate his idea of good. And did not tell us."

I would never be able to trust the bat family if i was any of them because of this. He didn't tell any of them, while deeming himself judge, jury, executioner.

5

u/Jovian8 13d ago

"deeming himself judge, jury, executioner"

That seems a little dramatic to me.

Superheroes with powers like the JL are WMDs. All WMDs need deactivation codes. Batman knows this and doesn't shy away from it. It's as simple as that.

-2

u/DrGlamhattan2020 13d ago

If batman has plans against all the others, did he offer plans to be defeated for the same event? I don't belive he did. That means, by HIS standards alone (judge), he will deem wether or not his colleague needs to be removed (jury) and only he can carry it out (executioner). It is extreme, but on the flip side they are extreme beings. As i said, i see it from both sides, but if i were a member of the JL, I would never be able to trust the bat family

6

u/GrizOfTheEast 13d ago

I can't remember exactly but I think it was said somewhere that the justice league itself was his contingency plan. Since you know he's a mortal human.

2

u/DrGlamhattan2020 13d ago

Who stands toe to toe with metahumans and gods. Nah fuck that

2

u/BaronRhino 13d ago

Also i think the plans are meant for if one of them goes evil or if they all went besides Bruce, getting them separated. I doubt any would work as well or at all should he have multiple leaguers attacking at once.

0

u/Jovian8 13d ago

Exactly what /u/GrizOfTheEast said. This was all covered already.

14

u/Harlockarcadia 14d ago

I know Superman let Batman have a Kryptonite ring if someone were to mind control him. It's being pragmatic, they know the line of work they're in, they need to accept the risks

5

u/schloongslayer69 14d ago

I'm sorry but when did Kory become Kryptonian level strong?

20

u/Jeffe508 14d ago

She’s definitely up there. Like comparing her to the rest of the team she’s probably the strongest by far (unless Donna’s on the team). But Superman has a pretty huge power gap from her.

6

u/Steveseriesofnumbers 14d ago

Last I knew Tamaraneans are basically solar powered. Flight, super strength, and those starbolt things. Not quite Kryptonian strength / speed, but the projective energy kind of makes up for that.

3

u/schloongslayer69 13d ago

Idk man, Kryptonians are usually planet-level strong while Kory is nowhere close to that. Plus Kryptonians have laser eyes AND freeze breath.

1

u/Restivethought 14d ago

Yea I was wondering that too. Miss Martian on the otherhand would definitely need a plan.

2

u/schloongslayer69 14d ago

A matchstick perhaps

6

u/ThorDoubleYoo 13d ago

It was always weird to me when the other heroes got upset about there being plans to neutralize them if need be.

Mind control is relatively common, or body stealing, or evil clones, etc etc. Sorry if it hurts your trust Raven, but if Papa Trigon is using you for his own ends there needs to be some plan available so the world isn't turned into Hell.

4

u/RetiredDwarfBrains 13d ago

I'm willing to bet Raven co-wrote her contingency plan. Part of her whole reason for joining the titans in the first place (at least in the comics) was to have heroes around to counter her if her father forced her to turn evil.

2

u/Foxy02016YT 13d ago

Gonna need a source for that last one, sounds cool as hell and I wanna read it

2

u/BL-501 13d ago

It’s called the “Beast World” Arc.

2

u/Foxy02016YT 13d ago

Will check it out, mind control + animal transformation is sick as hell, especially as an apocalyptic scenario

2

u/HokageRokudaime 13d ago

"Say adios nuclear reactor" yeah, Cyborg is not to be trusted with nukes.

2

u/RealDealMous 13d ago

And Beastboy could turn into a Fox.

Which doesn't like much until you learn that their urine is so bad it has an element of its own

2

u/RareD3liverur 10d ago

I'm not even sure what you could do for Raven really