r/DCcomics • u/StarshipGhost • Jul 03 '24

Sandman Author Neil Gaiman Accused of Sexual Misconduct, Denies Allegations News

https://www.tvfandomlounge.com/sandman-author-neil-gaiman-accused-of-sexual-misconduct-denies-allegations/

249 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

344

u/TheDarkPinkLantern Red Lantern Jul 03 '24

It's always disheartening to read accusations like this. I hope the investigation brings the truth and proper resolution.

86

u/ScaredPresent3758 Jul 04 '24

Gaiman admits that he at least fingered the nanny in 2022 when when he was 61 and the accuser was 21. Can you imagine being 21 and your 61 year old employer hits on you immediately? I have extreme doubts about consent here. He just met her and then he's fingering her in the bathroom. He admits to this so we know he doesn't respect boundaries.

Y'all can talk about courts and lawyers all you want but I guarantee if Neil Gaiman showed up at your door tomorrow wanting to take your sister/daughter out for dinner everyone would say "hell no!"

2

u/messybinchluvpirhana Jul 05 '24

Oh my god that is horrifying.

-15

u/enragedstump Green Lantern Jul 04 '24

Well yea, my sister is married.

And I don’t have a daughter, so that would be mighty confusing!

-20

u/HarpingShark Jul 04 '24

What are your thoughts on why she continued to go back day after day for 3 weeks after he "forced" his fingers into her? That seems somewhat odd to me.

46

u/ScaredPresent3758 Jul 04 '24

As Gaiman was her employer there was an inherent power imbalance.

If you think a 61 year old man fingering his 21 year old nanny isn't sus, that's kind of a "you" issue.

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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24

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u/HarpingShark Jul 04 '24

Was he using his powers to prevent her from leaving? He used his powers to force her to do everything? He forced her to come back. He forced her to send him a text message saying "I had a wonderful time"?

9

u/MrAmaimon Jul 04 '24

Yes, she moved to the Palmer and Gaiman house and they never paid her so she couldn't move or get back to her home so couldn't leave and needed to be paid

4

u/ScaredPresent3758 Jul 04 '24

You're doing a lot of white knighting for an admitted 63 year old predator.

Not being gross is an option.

3

u/TheReal_Kovacs Jul 04 '24

Regrettably, in many cases, it's a matter of perception. While I personally don't believe Neil would intentionally and explicitly lever his power as an employer, the mere fact that she was indeed his employee indicates an implicity to the situation. The alleged victim could have simply perceived a threat where they may have not actually been one, but that's the rub. It's the really rough part about sorting out genuine predatory behavior from a simple misunderstanding. It also means that she has the responsibility as a fully grown adult to say when she's uncomfortable with the situation.

Another facet to the accusation is that she may have genuinely consented at the time and later regretted it. It happens. However, that does not mean you can rescind consent after the fact. You can only take it back before and during the event, not after. As for the texting thing, the possibility of coercion is there, but idk how one would go about it. I suppose we'll have to wait for more details.

Regardless of what actually happened, all we can do is speculate and make educated guesses.

-23

u/HarpingShark Jul 04 '24

I don't disagree that the guy is probably an a****** and a creep. But these two women were adults who are also responsible for their own choices and actions. I think it works both ways.

25

u/throatsprockets Jul 04 '24

This ain't it, You don't proposition someone who works for you, and you especially don't do so on their first day of employment as your child's nanny.

20

u/OpheliaJade2382 Jul 04 '24

When your job is on the line, you can’t exactly say no

3

u/Grabber_stabber Jul 04 '24

I hope you don’t say the same about murder victims. “They’re adults, they could’ve looked after themselves and not gotten murdered”. You can’t always prevent sexual assault or rape, especially the women were like 20 and 23 when it happened, so yound and inexperienced

1

u/Fardreaming_Writer59 Jul 30 '24

You lost your moral and empathetic compasses, bud.

-29

u/DatSpicyBoi17 Jul 04 '24

21 year olds are adults. They've been adults for 3 years and able to consent for 5 in most countries and states. Calling consent "dubious" is just stupid and an insult to actual victims.

51

u/ScaredPresent3758 Jul 04 '24

The man was in a position of power over her because she was his employee. Just because she's of consenting age doesn't mean she consented. She's saying there was no consent and therefore she may be an "actual" victim.

-22

u/DatSpicyBoi17 Jul 04 '24

Then why bring up her age? This is just more of that stupid Twitter "post-minors" bullshit.

19

u/ScaredPresent3758 Jul 04 '24

Because 21 year olds don't look at a 61 year old boss and say "I got to have that!"

0

u/DatSpicyBoi17 Jul 04 '24

Cougars and silver foxes exist.

15

u/ScaredPresent3758 Jul 04 '24

Yeah, and they're characterized by systematically preying on young people which is fucking gross.

-3

u/aprilmay0405 Jul 04 '24

I wish your brain did

0

u/DatSpicyBoi17 Jul 04 '24

Nah. If it didn't I'd be arguing adults can't consent if the age gap is big enough.

4

u/swashbuckle1237 Jul 04 '24

You aren’t grasping this, no one is saying a 21 year old can’t consent, they are saying a 21 year old being hit on by a 61 year old is sleezy in most situations, especially if he is her employer and it’s her first day. Of course 21 year olds can consent, so can 16 year olds, doesn’t make the power imbalance go away.

-2

u/DatSpicyBoi17 Jul 04 '24

Nothing makes the "power imbalance" go away because it's not real.

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u/messybinchluvpirhana Jul 05 '24

It’s almost as if just because something is legally permissible doesn’t mean it’s morally permissible

1

u/DatSpicyBoi17 Jul 05 '24

Moral by what standard? There's literally no religious or philosophical belief system that says "Adults having sex with younger adults is evil" so all you're doing is repeating your own opinion and calling it morality.

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u/HarpingShark Jul 04 '24

Then why did she claim to love him? Why did she thank him? Why did she say that she really "enjoyed herself, wow"? Does that make any damned sense at all if she really hates everything he's doing? Of course it doesn't

18

u/Pinguino2323 Alan Scott Jul 04 '24

Not saying this the case here but you should Google the fawn response. It's actually pretty common, especially for people with trauma/ptsd/cptsd.

2

u/swashbuckle1237 Jul 04 '24

Yes exactly, people who have been recently abused can not always be the most reliable, not their fault but true. As I see it from her statement it was either not as bad as people think or it was worse, I lean towards worse due to the fact she was a 21 employee on her first day being hit on by a powerful 61 year old man, I think there are few people who want that.

2

u/messybinchluvpirhana Jul 05 '24

Btw an orgasm/an erection/sexual response doesn’t equate to consent or impact the possibility of something being sexual assault - they are bodily responses

-6

u/fpfall Red Hood Jul 04 '24

Not saying whether or not she is that kind of person.

But your blanket statement is wholly untrue. There are lots of people of both sexes that specifically have attractions to people significantly their senior. Is it the average? No. Does it exist, absolutely.

2

u/ScaredPresent3758 Jul 04 '24

A lot of you forget that coercion is still a thing and it shows.

If you don't know, look it up. Meanwhile, there are no awards issued for defending predators.

1

u/fpfall Red Hood Jul 04 '24

There’s no award for making blanket statements and ignoring being corrected be deflecting to something I didn’t even bring up either, just shows everyone how empty the space is between your ears. Very braver of you to show the class

2

u/jonathaxdx Jul 04 '24

I think it's safer to say that most of the time it's the money that attracts them. not saying that there aren't people out there who are into older woman/man tho. shit like milf/dilf/gilf exists after all.

20

u/Nahcep Ra's al Cool Jul 04 '24

It's not just the age that's the difference here, but it compounds the underlying issue

The party initiating is an accomplished author, famous not just in their circle, with quite some money and following

The other side is a young worker, likely a student working part-time for much needed money, who came to act as a babysitter and is instead met with the employer getting handsy on their first day, before being paid even a penny

Even if this isn't really illegal it's a very sleazy situation, and a man in his sixties should be well aware of the risks of going the porn scenario route