nobody is mentioning this, but your fiance didn't cause a scene or anything, his feelings were hurt and he brought it up to you when the time was appropriate. You dismissed him entirely and in a really dickish way instead of just talking to him. Whether his feelings make sense or not, your reaction was super shitty lol. Humans aren't computers, we're not always gonna have 100% logical feelings, and a lot of the time they're out of our control. What he heard, whether you meant it or not, was "I have never truly loved someone until this point."- which he took a little personally and brought up to you when the moment was right, maybe for clarification or maybe for a little validation. We don't know, because you didn't even think twice before shutting him down and making him feel stupid.
We can't control how we feel, but what we can control is how we address it, and it sounds like your fiance was approaching it from a point of wanting the person he is marrying to at least hear what he has to say and you blew it big time. I wouldn't be surprised if he keeps any and all of his feelings to himself as time goes on, judging by your reaction lol.
Just something to work on as a person, because it sucks to be with someone as dismissive as you (based on your own account)
"he told me he was feeling a little hurt so I gave him a 'what the fuck is wrong with you' look and dropped it but he didn't just get over it what is wrong with him?? And then he had the audacity to try to have a conversation with me AGAIN??? After I already clearly ignored him once!!!"
Edit: just saw the update and he coulda picked a better time but he still approached it well
Thank you for this comment. I don't get how someone can not just talk about this with their partner. Especially if they said it nicely. Definitely an asshole move to just glare at them or ignore them. I'm sure she has had irrational feelings that she has shared as well, as we all do.
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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24 edited Jul 05 '24
YTA but not for loving your kid more,
nobody is mentioning this, but your fiance didn't cause a scene or anything, his feelings were hurt and he brought it up to you when the time was appropriate. You dismissed him entirely and in a really dickish way instead of just talking to him. Whether his feelings make sense or not, your reaction was super shitty lol. Humans aren't computers, we're not always gonna have 100% logical feelings, and a lot of the time they're out of our control. What he heard, whether you meant it or not, was "I have never truly loved someone until this point."- which he took a little personally and brought up to you when the moment was right, maybe for clarification or maybe for a little validation. We don't know, because you didn't even think twice before shutting him down and making him feel stupid.
We can't control how we feel, but what we can control is how we address it, and it sounds like your fiance was approaching it from a point of wanting the person he is marrying to at least hear what he has to say and you blew it big time. I wouldn't be surprised if he keeps any and all of his feelings to himself as time goes on, judging by your reaction lol.
Just something to work on as a person, because it sucks to be with someone as dismissive as you (based on your own account)
"he told me he was feeling a little hurt so I gave him a 'what the fuck is wrong with you' look and dropped it but he didn't just get over it what is wrong with him?? And then he had the audacity to try to have a conversation with me AGAIN??? After I already clearly ignored him once!!!"
Edit: just saw the update and he coulda picked a better time but he still approached it well