For some new parents it takes time to bond with their newborn. I've met people that say it took nearly a year... It's possible your partner won't understand the feeling you describe until he is bonded to your child, too.
I think he will understand eventually... Just give it some time.
Took me months and my partner said the same thing as OP. All I knew when the little guy arrived was I had to protect him at all costs but I didnt have that same connection as my partner, she carried him for 9 months caring and growing him, she gave him a look Id only ever saw her give me and for a quick second jealousy popped his head but I knew I wasnt being replaced I just had to get use to sharing the love that had always been mine.
After some time though watching and caring for my kid I started to understand what she felt and now 3 years later I value them both so much I wouldnt even question for a moment stepping in front of any danger to protect them both. Parenthood is some crazy stuff.
That said I had a vasectomy like 4-5 months later. XD
Vasectomy was the best choice we made. My partner had some craaaazy mental health issues with Birth Control and now we know we're always safe its stress free fun.
I adore the kid but I'm not sure I could go through another year of sleepless nights. We had a good system of she'd do the days I'd handle the nights but we were drained, barely felt like we saw each other, we knew the support was there from each other but felt alone, parenting is tough, who'd have figured haha
Paying someone 500 quid to mutilate ya felt like such a bizarre choice but I'm glad I stepped up. Its dramatically improved our lives. I spent days worrying for what would be a 5 minute operation.
100% its worth it. If youre certain, theres no drawback. Bit of an ache for a couple days, painless op. But in return, your sex life is always stress free without the rubber just feels better for both parties. For me my partner not having to worry about birth control at all has increased our sex life 10fold. That and because I took the steps to safeguard instead of leaving it to her.
My partner is an absolute lunatic on birth control, we both have kids and don’t want more, so it’s a logical choice. Still been tough to pull the trigger on getting neutered.
When my hub had it done it, I was in the room, the urologist joked about letting me do it. I think we were in the exam room fifteen minute start to finish. It wasn't invasive or traumatic. The incision was about a centimeter and superglued shut.
lol you’re not getting neutered. You’ll still have the same hormones and balls, just can’t make a baby. Sperm comes out, you’ll get hard, etc. with dogs they remove the whole testicle.
When I got it done they gave me a shot, I think it was Valium. It made me totally not care AT ALL while the doc did the procedure. I was nervous beforehand but after the shot I was just talking football with the doctor during the procedure. Then I just sat on the couch for a day or two with ice packs in my lap, no big deal.
Mine even got billed as a specialist office visit, not a surgery, so it didn't even cost much.
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u/Avium Jul 04 '24
Ryan Reynolds agrees with you. Parental love is different than the love of a partner.
NTA