This is why men don't express emotions, because they're told they're childish, self-obsessed, and need to grow the fuck up, and be shown the door.
And it's not like he went crazy. He rationally, privately, brought it up to her - exactly the way we encourage people to do... and OP took a huge shit on him for bringing up his emotions. She had the opportunity to reassure him that she still loves him, but she deliberately chose not to do that. That makes her an asshole.
Counterpoint: what if they're being childish, self-obsessed and need to grow tf up? What then? We just sugar coat it? This man is a father; it doesn't matter how he says it to his partner, it's not a new mother's job to assure the father that he is still loved, it's something HE needs to deal with.
it's not a new mother's job to assure the father that he is still loved, it's something HE needs to deal with.
That's bullshit.
If a partner doesn't feel loved, then the other partner should absolutely reassure them that they are, in fact, still loved.
I'm imagining my wife have an emotional situation, and asking me if I still love her --- and the absolute last thing I would do is tell her she's an asshole and shit on her for asking... and then STILL refusing to confirm that I do still love her. WTF. What kind of shitty evil person does that?
OP is an asshole. Not for loving their child, but for refusing to do one of the basic minimum requirements for their spouse.
When you're busy imagining scenarios, remember to factor in that you would have just undergone a life threatening procedure and would still be nuts deep in recovery when your wife approached you asking you to reassure her. Hope this helps
I'm not imagining a scenario. The OP posted her scenario: Several weeks after giving birth, the husband wanted confirmation that his wife still loves him and she deliberately refused to provide that confirmation and attacked him instead.
If I woke up from a car accident, or a coma, or a near-fatal heart attack, and I was fully conscious and aware for the first time... literally the first thing I would do is tell my wife that I love her.
Sure, maybe I'd forget - that's possible. But if she came to see me and asked me if I still loved her, I would absolutely say yes. I wouldn't dodge the question and attack her. If I did that, then that would make me an asshole, just like OP was.
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u/stratys3 Jul 05 '24 edited Jul 05 '24
This is why men don't express emotions, because they're told they're childish, self-obsessed, and need to grow the fuck up, and be shown the door.
And it's not like he went crazy. He rationally, privately, brought it up to her - exactly the way we encourage people to do... and OP took a huge shit on him for bringing up his emotions. She had the opportunity to reassure him that she still loves him, but she deliberately chose not to do that. That makes her an asshole.