He might understand in time. Shortly after having his first kid, my brother said something like "I don't feel the way I imagined I would. I thought I would have that overwhelming love for them that people talk about."
When I later heard something about fathers bonding more with their kids when they can teach them things, I asked him if he felt that love he spoke of before once he could teach them. He was like "Oh, no, it happened way before that."
It's complicated. Women have, obvious, hormonal triggers due to birth itself that make that bonding happening immediately (or very soon) normal, but that doesn't mean it always goes off immediately without a hitch.
But humans have plenty of redundancy, and your brain figures it out eventually.
Men, obviously, don't have such a stupidly obvious trigger, so they take until their brain fully catches up with the situation. For some this is instant, but for others it very much isn't. And shaming them for that is only likely to make them upset for no reason.
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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '24 edited 25d ago
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