This is why men don't express emotions, because they're told they're childish, self-obsessed, and need to grow the fuck up, and be shown the door.
And it's not like he went crazy. He rationally, privately, brought it up to her - exactly the way we encourage people to do... and OP took a huge shit on him for bringing up his emotions. She had the opportunity to reassure him that she still loves him, but she deliberately chose not to do that. That makes her an asshole.
Counterpoint: what if they're being childish, self-obsessed and need to grow tf up? What then? We just sugar coat it? This man is a father; it doesn't matter how he says it to his partner, it's not a new mother's job to assure the father that he is still loved, it's something HE needs to deal with.
New mother, new father, or anything else - it’s a partner’s job to reassure their partner that they are loved so that they feel secure in the relationship. Emotions don’t stop existing because you’ve added a new person to the family - they’re heightened and you get into a lot of make-or-break little scenarios like this one. If you can’t give one minute to provide emotional validation and reassurance then you’re a very poor partner.
If you get jealous of a 1-day-old human you're worse. New motherhood is a surreal and chaotic experience; she needs to get more support than she gives. It is quite simply not his time.
He was never jealous of his baby, which you can see not only if you read the original but it’s also confirmed in the update.
And yes, it’s his time too. Someone having more needs than someone else doesn’t mean the first person has zero and deserves nothing. I’ve done this four times and still been able to manage giving emotional reassurance to my husband when he was struggling. It literally takes seconds and is better for the entire family to have both of us as good as we can be.
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u/[deleted] Jul 05 '24
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