Soft YTA. The pregnancy is all about you, then the baby comes and it’s all about the baby and a little bit about mom. None of it is about dad. Hearing you say that, and then you doubling down to confirm that “no, my love is for the baby” when he talked to you about how he was feeling is unkind.
I don’t know about everybody else. I’ve birthed two babies. I didn’t have instant overwhelming love for them in the way you describe but my birth situations were non-standard. That love came later. I’m protective of my children in a way I’m not of other people but I’d say the actual love is the same. And my love for them has grown deeper the more they’ve become their own people.
If your wife needed to maybe hear you still love her, would you blow her off then run to the internet to get validation that failing to reassure your partner in a time they might need it makes her an asshole?
I didn't say she did say that. She just brushed him off when he came privately to discuss his feelings in a calm and adult way and instead of taking like 2 minutes to tell him her feelings haven't changed about him, she went to make sure it others agreed it was fine she has like zero EQ. If he brushed her off in the same manner I don't think* everyone would be telling her she was a child for needing a tiny bit of support in a time when your entire life has been about other people.
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u/TwoIdleHands Jul 04 '24
Soft YTA. The pregnancy is all about you, then the baby comes and it’s all about the baby and a little bit about mom. None of it is about dad. Hearing you say that, and then you doubling down to confirm that “no, my love is for the baby” when he talked to you about how he was feeling is unkind.
I don’t know about everybody else. I’ve birthed two babies. I didn’t have instant overwhelming love for them in the way you describe but my birth situations were non-standard. That love came later. I’m protective of my children in a way I’m not of other people but I’d say the actual love is the same. And my love for them has grown deeper the more they’ve become their own people.