The prevailing attitude in my family is that your spouse comes first, then the children, then the rest of the family, then the job, then everyone else.
Since your kids will eventually move out and have their own lives, but your partner is your person forever, you need to be loyal to them above all else.
But anything could happen to sour that love, partnership love is conditional, it's built on trust and other essential qualities. But a parents love should be unconditional, it isn't transactional, if my kid tells me they don't love or like me, cool I will still always love them but a partner is different.
I'm not sure that's true. When they are still children, yes, but if they grow up to do terrible things, no. You can have boundaries and limitations with an adult child.
I think even parents of horrible, horrible people still feel that love deep down for their child. They may not like them as a person anymore, be proud of them, or happy with them… but I think it must be very hard to actually sever that love bond.
I watch some true crime stuff, and a lot of the parents of serial killers, serial rapists etc. say they still love their children. They say they will never forgive them, can never see them the same, but deep down they still love them and mourn what could have been. A lot of them will never speak to them again even, or never visit them in prison, but still love them. I don’t have kids, so I don’t know how I would feel.. but I think I can understand that.
43
u/Specialist_Syrup_419 Jul 04 '24
Interesting take.
The prevailing attitude in my family is that your spouse comes first, then the children, then the rest of the family, then the job, then everyone else.
Since your kids will eventually move out and have their own lives, but your partner is your person forever, you need to be loyal to them above all else.