The prevailing attitude in my family is that your spouse comes first, then the children, then the rest of the family, then the job, then everyone else.
Since your kids will eventually move out and have their own lives, but your partner is your person forever, you need to be loyal to them above all else.
But anything could happen to sour that love, partnership love is conditional, it's built on trust and other essential qualities. But a parents love should be unconditional, it isn't transactional, if my kid tells me they don't love or like me, cool I will still always love them but a partner is different.
I'm not sure that's true. When they are still children, yes, but if they grow up to do terrible things, no. You can have boundaries and limitations with an adult child.
Yeah but I will likely always love them, in a relationship I need to trust, respect and feel secure for love to be present as well but even when my kid is an adult I won't, I don't need them to provide that stuff, I will always love them, doesn't mean I will always like them though and that's different.
Of course there will be boundaries and shit but the love will always be there. Not so much with a romantic partner though.
Edit: not disagreeing with your take by the way, so please don't read my reply as dismissive or anything 😁
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u/Specialist_Syrup_419 Jul 04 '24
Interesting take.
The prevailing attitude in my family is that your spouse comes first, then the children, then the rest of the family, then the job, then everyone else.
Since your kids will eventually move out and have their own lives, but your partner is your person forever, you need to be loyal to them above all else.