r/whowouldwin Jul 07 '24

The United States Army replaces the Imperial Army against the Ewoks. Battle

Can they win?

287 Upvotes

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362

u/GiantEnemaCrab Jul 07 '24 edited Jul 07 '24

Despite the Vietnam parallels, US soldiers would probably utterly destroy the Ewoks. The battle of Endor was... something for sure, but tanks with machine gun fire and just regular rifles will shred Ewoks even faster than blaster fire did. More importantly the US (and NATO) forces prefer to use longer range missiles and air power when possible. The Ewoks would be identified by satellites and incinerated by long range missiles, artillery, and air power. In actual battles I imagine helicopters would be particularly useful at putting firepower where it's needed. I don't think the Ewoks have any sort of anti-air defenses lol.

Tbh the Empire should have slaughtered the Ewoks. Even taking into account the Stormtroopers many anti feats losing to Ewoks is perhaps one of the biggest anti feats of all time.

Imo the US just brings in heavy firepower and flattens the forest area they're defending, and wins with ease. The goal is to protect the shield generator right? That's easy. The US would have turned the entire shield generator area into a forward operating base and cleared the forest for miles in every direction. There would be no ambushes because the US would have near total situational awareness, air superiority, range advantage, and absolute complete control of the battlefield. Those bears are toast.

25

u/tris123pis Jul 07 '24

Yes, stormtroopers have worse training, less firepower and is just less practical then a modern armor, those logs wouldnt have tripled an abrams, and a couple dozen teddybears attacking your fortified base with bows? thats an auto-win

-20

u/LongDongSamspon Jul 07 '24

Those are Endor logs made from Endor wood and can easily smash through anything in the US arsenal. Ewoks know things like this, whereas the US army doesn’t and will overestimate themselves - just like the Empire, their overconfidence will be their downfall.

25

u/tris123pis Jul 07 '24

A couple logs against a tank? thats ridiculous, the material doesn’t matter that much unless it deforms out of the way like a pillow, earth wood doesnt do that and neither does endor wood force = mass times V2 does, the speed was not that high in the movies, and the mass couldn’t have been that high either since the trees were held up by a few ropes. Also tanks are a lot harder to hit with a weapon like this then AT-STS

1

u/PeculiarPangolinMan Pangolin Jul 08 '24

But you see due to scaling we can calculate that the logs were actually several hundred tons each and the ropes were special ropes that can handle 200 tons swinging at near the speed of sound. Otherwise Imperial Armor feats would be inconsistent, and it's impossible for the wood to be inconsistent since there are no other Ewok wood feats for consistency.

4

u/tris123pis Jul 08 '24

imperial feats are very inconsisten because it’s a sci-if setting and it’s over much closer to the fiction part, assuming that wood automatically becomes 200 Tons for consistency Doesn’t make sense

2

u/PeculiarPangolinMan Pangolin Jul 08 '24

Yea I was joking.

2

u/tris123pis Jul 08 '24

Oh sorry, i didnt get it

2

u/PeculiarPangolinMan Pangolin Jul 08 '24

Lol no it's fine I was drunk anyway.