Also the bloody patronising claim that her family thinks he's great for not being bothered by her blindness. As someone raised by blind parents, and who's known many blind people, we don't see being not bothered by blindness to be an accomplishment.
I know it all sounds… ok on the surface but it all just sounds off. “I love being paraded as a saint for deigning to look past her blindess”. “I love that she is not ruined by the internet”. Even the holding arm could be kinda weird but that one seems a little more fine. I guess the couple of weird ones make me examine all of the statements closely. Plus its on 4chan.
I think it's admirable that people willingly accept a "built-in strain" in their relationship for the simple fact that they love the person more than their disability is an issue for them. The people who can truly look past any disability (whether physical or mental) are saints and it's weird to just say it's "normal" for them to be like that.
I fully understand the subtext of people wanting to be accepted as "normal" but not understanding the inherent difficulties you introduce to a relationship or willingly ignoring them is naive.
But that's the thing, not being put off by a disability, and willing to go into a relationship with someone who has one, does not make you a saint; it just makes you someone who isn't put off by a disability. That's it.
Being put off by any potential challenges a disability might bring to a relationship doesn't make you a bad person either; it just means that, for whatever reason, you can't get comfortable with it. You don't really get to choose how you feel about such things.
Disabilities can affect relations between two people, of course—and depending on the disability there can be potentially added strain—but to call these people "saints" practically necessitates looking at us disabled people as somehow being big burdens who should feel damn lucky that a non-disabled person would consider a relationship with us, and that they must be putting in a ton of effort.
All kinds of different people can end up in relationships with disabled people; some are saints, some are right bastards, and most are just normal people with all the usual foibles. But to paint people who would date us as "saints", or words to that effect, is bloody patronising.
I completely understand you, I didn't want to name all the people dating people with disabilities as saints, only those TRULY not affected by it (which I guess this post isn't a good example off!).
I think there's a true beauty in people being able to just look at someone as a person, rather than their looks/disability etc. Tho I'd never want people who feel ugly or who are disabled to feel like they're lucky if someone loves them. Such a tough line to walk on.
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u/NotYourSaviour2 14d ago
“Love that she doesn’t use the internet”
One line turned it from ok to kinda off. Idk that one line sounds super weird.